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hiii! still alive. back from valencia. quickie post because i dare not interrupt heroes when it's actually giving me some backstory.
summary: the avatar characters recap the series. now with special cameos by bryke, captain planet, and many more! (but NOT barney). written as i guffawed through watched the series. im in ur intarwebz, trollin ur maiko no ship bashing whatsoever intended (i tried to put a little of everything in-- at least the pairings i could think of). and believe me, i make fun of sokka because i love him. what can i say? that's how i express affection ^^;;; all for the sake of the crackiness, NOT to be taken seriously xDDD
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER IN A NUTSHELL
aka: AtlA in a ginormous mutant nutshell.
aka: TOW where everybody was awesome!
aka: roku does not a good yoda make.
aka: yes, people, sokka has a girlfriend.
katara: hello, everybody! i'm katara, from the southern water tribe. and this (*points beside her*) is my older brother sokka.
sokka: and i'm the man in charge of the southern water tribe! *puffs out chest*
katara: ...while my father isn't there. sort of.
sokka: hey, a leader is a leader. *mock dusts off shoulders*
katara: *deadpan* yeah, sure. so anyway, our world has been at war for about 100 years, since the fire nation decided to attack all the other nations.
*fire nation army pops in*
random fire nation person: hi. we're the fire nation. we have pointy shoes, and you don't. that's why you have to die now, kthnxbye.
*fire nation army pops out*
katara: erm, ooookay. so there was this one guy, the avatar, who's the one person who can control all four elements...
ma-ti: *pops in as well* why must they always leave out the heart? it is the most important of all elements, you know!
suchi: *does his monkey thing, which ma-ti takes as an agreement even though it probably isn't*
captain planet: *rolls eyes and comically blows ma-ti away*
sokka: who are these people?
katara: *continuing on as if nothing had happened* BUT! the avatar died, and his reincarnation kinda disappeared, too.
roku: *pops in* when gone am i, the last of the jedi will you be... oh no, wait, wrong script. *runs out to look for the correct one*
sokka: *ponders roku's words of elightenment and his sudden disappearance* hmmm, that's very... convenient, don't you think? *starts figuring bryke out*
katara: gosh, would you let me finish the story? so one day we were fishing, and i was practicing my waterbending--
sokka: which is this freaky magic bendy trick thing that she thinks makes her sooo cool, but really it's not all that it's cracked up to be...
katara: --and sokka was complaining (as always-- and SHUT UP!), when we stumbled onto this huge glacier that kept a boy and his bison frozen. the boy turned out to be the avatar, who had accidentally been imprisoned there for the last 100 years.
aang: *waves* hi! that's me, aang. i'm the avatar. i'm awesome.
sokka: meh, sometimes...
katara: *supportive* actually, he is pretty awesome...
aang: you really think i'm awesome, katara? ♥♥♥
katara: *pats aang's head* sure, aang.
(*and the aangtara shippers rejoice!*)
sokka: *sarcastic* oh, please, get a room. this is PG nutshelling.
katara: then i guess we're not supposed to mention how zuko was in love with aang.
(*and the aangzuko shippers rejoice!*)
zuko: *pops in, blazing fire* i was not in love with him!
sokka: then why did you dress up as some sort of dark vigilante and save him? you were stalking him for the whole first season!
zuko: *gritted teeth* i was trying to capture him. to restore my honor.
sokka: *fake enthusiastic* maybe you should've tried kamikaze!
katara: sokka, stop bothering him. zuko's not evil, he just had a very crappy childhood.
zuko: that's ri-- hey! don't bring up my childhood now, that's none of their business!
iroh: i like tea. *grins*
zuko: *facepalm*
aang: can we go back to the part where i'm awesome?
sokka: actually, aang, you had some neat party tricks, but you were pretty useless.
aang: *sulks*
katara: that's because he had to learn to master water, earth and fire as well as air! so sokka and i decided to accompany him and appa to the north pole.
appa: *bellows*
aang: oh yeah, that's appa. *points to appa* sorry, buddy. *pat pat*
katara: we hoped that in the north pole, aang and i could find someone to actually teach us to waterbend. because there were no other waterbenders in the south pole, it was just me.
sokka: *ponders absence of northern waterbenders* which is very... convenient, don't you think? *continues figuring bryke out*
aang: and on our way there (it took like one whole season because it was on the whole opposite side of the world), we learned many things, like the fact that i can visit the spirit world...
katara: ...and that the king of omashu is a deranged, schizophrenic, and rather unhelpful man, yet we still like him for some reason...
sokka: ...and that aang starts shining like a glo worm on steroids every time he gets angry...
aang: ...and that a huge comet was going to pass by our world at the end of summer, and it would power up the firebenders! so if we wanted to end the war, we had to do it before the comet arrived.
roku: *pops in* luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. you must feel the force around you... no, wait, that's the wrong one, again. *runs out to look for the correct script*
sokka: did you all notice he's going backwards? how interesting.
aang: *blinks at roku, then turns to sokka* what's a glo worm?
sokka: i think you were frozen in the glacier when that particular trend happened.
katara: *strongly ignores out-of-place 80's pop culture references* and lots of stuff happened to us, too. like, at one point we were really close to finding our father again.
aang: i almost learned firebending, too. and ooh, we saved a village from an exploding volcano! that was cool.
sokka: *singsongs* katara had a cruuuuuush on some guerrilla-type duuuuuude with funky eyebrows... *wiggles own eyebrows*
katara: hey, it's not my fault jet fell in love with me.
(*and the jetara shippers rejoice!*)
sokka: oh, he fell in love with you. suuuuure.
katara: *glares at sokka* sokka got dumped!
sokka: I DID NOT!
aang: and he also dressed up as a woman!
sokka: I DID N--! oh, wait, i did.
katara: *eyebrow raised* you're not going to complain about that?
sokka: nah, it's not that big a deal. aang did it too, in the second season. and i absolutely believe i was prettier than him, so... *shrugs*
katara: *raises other eyebrow*
aang: hey, i resent that! i was a pretty girl, wasn't i, katara?
katara: are you guys listening to yourselves?
sokka: *to aang* oh, come on, the only thing you had over me was bigger--
katara: *wide-eyed* whoa-KAY! topic change, RIGHT now!
sokka: *deadpan* ...i was going to say shoes.
katara: whatever, let's just continue with the recap, alright? so we reached the north pole, and we found a waterbending master. he wasn't very nice at first, but he warmed up to us because, erm, he was in love with our grandmother.
sokka: *mutters* which i really don't even want to think about... *shudder*
katara: mater pakku taught me some serious waterbending, and then i was left in charge of teaching it to aang.
sokka: because arrow boy's got some serious attention deficit issues.
aang: *defensive* hey, it's not my fault! i'm not made for institutionalized learning, the monks' methods were different...
sokka: *rolls eyes* yeah, we've heard this speech before.
katara: *supportive* don't worry, aang, we understand. besides, it's not like you would've had much time to learn, because then the fire nation attacked the south pole.
aang: oooh, yeah! this is the really cool part! *starts doing random airbending whoosh-y sounds*
sokka: *pumped* yeah, 'cause lucius malfoy-- i mean, admiral zhao found a way to stop the waterbenders: killing the moon. pretty ambitious, don't you think?
aang: i tried to stop him, but first i had to reach the avatar state, so i could be at the peak of my power.
katara: *face darkens* but then zuko appeared.
aang: and katara had to stop him from kidnapping me, so she fought him and it was sooooooo cool!
sokka: you can't know that if you didn't see it.
aang: i don't need to have seen it to know that katara was awesome!
katara: *blushes* actually, it was a pretty awesome fight, wasn't it? *turns to zuko*
zuko: *nods* it was very good.
(*and the zutara shippers rejoice!*)
aang: but then zhao killed the moon.
sokka: and aang. freaked. out.
katara: yes, he reached the avatar state and merged with the spirit of the ocean and completely destroyed the fire nation army.
aang: *cringes* it wasn't pretty.
sokka: are you kidding? he was one amazing, fishy killing machine! *starts doing-- or trying to do-- random airbending whoosh-y sounds*
katara: it wasn't that great, sokka. i think that day was pretty hard on all of us.
sokka: *mellows down* you don't have to tell me twice. my potential girlfriend had to become the new incarnation of the moon. that was one of the worst days ever.
aang: *puts hand on sokka's shoulder* if it's any consolation, sokka, she was kind of out of your league.
katara: yeah, i mean, shooting for the moon, that's kind of a hard goal...
sokka: *dryly* thanks, you guys. i know i can always count on you to make me feel better.
aang: *big grin* no problem, always willing to help, man!
katara: *chuckles* anyway, we saved the north pole tribe, so we headed back south towards the earth kingdom, in order to find aang an earthbending master.
aang: meanwhile, zuko was labeled a traitor to the fire nation, so he ran away and traveled incognito with his uncle iroh. and he angsted. a lot.
zuko: i did not! i was just... very reserved.
iroh: i like tea. *grins*
sokka: and we learned that, as bad as zuko was, he wasn't the one that got the psycho gene in his family. *discretely points off-camera, where azula is gleefully blowing people up with lightning* erm... *turns to zuko* seriously, man, i pity you. and i thought i had it bad with my own sister-- EEP! *dodges kick from katara and fireball from zuko* i take it back, you're ALL psycho! psycho people!
katara: *still glaring at sokka* so now we had azula on our tails, and she wasn't alone. she had her two girl-flunkies with her at all times.
ty lee: hi! i'm ty lee. i like pink and i'm very flexible... *winks at sokka*
sokka: *drools*
mai: *deadpan* i hate everything.
ty lee: *elbows mai suggestively* except prince zuko!
mai: *deadpan* yes. i love zuko.
aang, zuko, katara: *eyebrow raised*
iroh: *drinks jasmine tea*
sokka: *coughs* so we went back to omashu.
aang: funny how we flew back so fast this time around! seemed much longer in the first season.
sokka: that's the magic of TV for ya. anyway, we tried to get the king to teach aang earthbending--
katara: --but like we said, he was crazy and very unhelpful. yet we still like him for some reason...
aang: but it's okay, because later on we found toph!
toph: hey, everyone. i'm toph. i'm an earthbender. i'm awesome.
sokka: meh, she's... *stops and thinks* actually, she is awesome.
aang: yeah! she was the champion of an earthbending tournament and everything!
katara: that's true. and while her personal hygiene may leave a bit to be desired, she's a really great person.
toph: *grins* aw, thanks, guys. you're definitely not as pathetic as you look.
aang: uh... thanks?
sokka: *defensive* hey! *turns to ty lee and mai* we don't look pathetic, do we?
mai: *deadpan* she's blind, stupid. it's not like she'd know what you look like.
sokka: oh. *blinks* hey! that's not an answer!
*awkward silence*
sokka: *gritted teeth* fine. i get it.
aang: *chirpy* ...sooo, toph taught me how to earthbend!
katara: *eager to get off the awkward topics* yes, and then we learned that there was a solar eclipse coming soon, which would make the firebenders powerless. so we set out to warn the earth kingdom about this, so they could help.
toph: *sigh* but then big furry was kidnapped.
sokka: yeah, appa ran off to join the circus!
ty lee: *to appa, gasps* you too?
katara: *bops sokka on the head* be sensitive! that was a really hard time for aang.
sokka: no kidding! i think we've all learned that aang gets pret-ty moody when appa's not around.
aang: *hugglez appa, voice muffled by the fur* and i'm never, ever going to let you be taken from me, never!
appa: *bellows*
sokka: but thankfully for appa, my girlfriend found him and saved him. *pause* yes, ladies and gentlemen, i have a girlfriend. *puffs chest out*
katara: *to the audience* and if you're wondering how that happened (*points to sokka*)... don't worry, we wonder about that, as well.
sokka: *glares at katara*
toph: oh, don't be like that, katara. sokka isn't that bad. i mean, even i sort of liked him a bit...
(*and the soph shippers rejoice!*)
sokka: *brightens* thanks, toph!
toph: ...but then he went back to being his usual idiot self, and i realized the error of my ways.
sokka: *sulks*
toph: but still, he's not that bad.
suki: *pops in* hey, i like him.
(*and the soki shippers rejoice!*)
sokka: SUKI! *glomps*
katara: *laughs* i think it's hilarious that he can go from sulking to ecstatic so easily.
mai: *deadpan* bipolar much?
katara: hehe, probably. um, so where were we?
toph: lost appa.
katara: right. so we wandered through the desert for a while, then found our way to the earth kingdom's capital, ba sing se. we went through a lot of stuff in that journey, let me tell you.
sokka: *shudders as he remembers* we had to walk.
toph: *shudders as she remembers* at one point, we actually had to swim.
sokka: and we almost sacrificed momo to a water serpent!
momo: *screeches*
aang: oh, that's right! we hadn't introduced momo. *points to momo* sorry, pal. this is momo, everyone!
momo: *screeches*
sokka: i think the fact that he wasn't introduced until halfway through this recap says a lot.
katara: don't listen to him, momo.
sokka: anyway, when we got to ba sing se, we discovered something really weird was going on.
aang: *in an overdramatic whisper* they had replacements for this tour guide woman called joo dee. and they all had the same creepy smile.
katara: *cue twilight zone theme* later on we discovered that people in the city, including the king, were being brainwashed to make them believe there was no war!
sokka: *ponders* well, it's no wonder they chose m. night shyamalan to direct our live-action movie.
toph: you guys forgot to mention that this jet person showed up again.
katara: oh, right! he showed up in ba sing se, with his gang of rebel boys.
smellerbee: i'm a girl.
katara: seriously? *stares at smellerbee*
longshot: ...
sokka: ...right. so jet shows up, only this time he's in love with zuko!
(*and the jetko shippers rejoice!*)
zuko: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?
sokka: *dodges fireball* dude, he was! he was stalking you, just like you stalked aang in the first season! if that's not love, i don't know what love is.
zuko: *trembling with rage* i was trying. to restore. my honor.
jet: *pops in, points at zuko* and he's fire nation! they killed my parents! i had to keep an eye on him!
sokka: and what, you're inigo montoya now?
katara: whatever the reason, jet's presence was what helped us figure out the brainwashing thing. so we're thankful for that. and we're really sorry you got hurt because of it.
aang: *rather quickly* but then we got appa back! so we didn't really care.
jet: *glares at aang*
aang: *enthusiastically ignoring jet's glare* so we stormed the ba sing se castle! and it was sooooo cool!
toph: *pumped up* yeah! it was actually one of the best fights i've been in!
sokka: *big grin* we were really awesome, weren't we?
katara: *grins* yeah, we kinda were.
zuko: *scoffs* sure, and we're supposed to take your word for it. there's no point in saying you're awesome if nobody was there to see it.
aang, sokka, toph, katara: *pause*
sokka: *ponders* can we round up the castle guards, you think?
toph: i'm pretty sure they're around somewhere.
katara: it doesn't really matter, you guys, since it didn't really help.
sokka: yeah, we told the king about the hypnosis thing and even when he finally believed us, he couldn't help.
katara: yeah, what is it with earth kings and being useless?
aang: but we still like him for some reason. *grins*
mai: *deadpan* perhaps it had something to do with his pointless bear.
toph: *standing up excitedly* and then azula took over the castle--
katara: --and toph was kidnapped--
sokka: --and katara found iroh and zuko working in a quaint little tea shop--
aang: --and sokka had to go help his father fight--
hakoda: hi, i'm hakoda. i'm sokka and katara's fa--
katara: --and aang left to go train with a guru who would teach him to control the avatar state!
hakoda: --ther. yeah, i guess i don't get much screentime, do i? *shuffles out*
sokka: *waving to his dad, but continuing katara's train of thought* only aang didn't learn to control the avatar state, (*wiggles his eyebrows*) because apparently he luuuuurves my sister too much to let go of his earthly connections.
(*and the aangtara shippers rejoice again!*)
aang: *blushes* but then katara got captured, and i knew i had to go back and help, even if i wasn't done with my training yet.
toph: should've taken your time, though. there was no rush. after all, she got locked up in a small, dimly-lit, wet cave with zuko. *wiggles her eyebrows*
(*and the zutara shippers rejoice again!*)
katara: *blushes* i thought he had changed for the better.
sokka: *unimpressed* yeah, they bonded over their mommy issues.
toph: and she even offered to heal his scar.
katara: but then, showing how completely stupid he is when it comes to family (*glares at zuko*), he betrayed us to join up with azula. iroh was sent to prison, aang almost died and the fire nation took over the capital of the earth kingdom. *glares at zuko some more*
zuko: *cringes* i said i was sorry, didn't i? she's my sister. what was i supposed to do?
sokka: zuko, zuko, my man... *shakes head while wrapping arm around zuko's shoulders* you gotta take control, dude. you're the oldest, you have to know how to handle her.
zuko: *eyebrow raised*
katara: *eyebrow raised* yes, let him know the true order of things, oh ever wonderful brother of mine whom i respect more than anyone. *sarcastic*
sokka: *oblivious* thanks, katara. see, you have to let her know who's in cha-- (*gets interrupted by crackling lightning bolts*) AAAAHHH! AZULA'S COMING OVER!!! *hides behind katara*
iroh: *grin hidden by his cup of jasmine tea*
toph: *ROTFLHAO*
sokka: *noticing azula's nowhere to be found* heh, yeah, i pretended to be scared to lull her into a false sense of security. *notices katara's about to say something* and stopinterruptingourrecap!
katara: really, sokka? i'm interrupting?
sokka: yes, you are.
katara: no, i'm not!
sokka: yes, you are!
katara: i'm not! you--!
toph: *makes earth shake to get the squabbling duo to shut up* ANYWAY, that's when everybody started getting weird.
aang: *frowns* weird? what do you mean? i didn't notice anyone acting weird.
sokka: are you kidding me? aang, you practically transformed into zuko!
aang: *wide-eyed* what? no, i didn't! it's just that, well, everybody thought i was dead, and that i'd failed, and i had to restore--
sokka: --your honor? *sarcastic* gee, where have i heard that before?
aang: *points at sokka defensively* YOU said it TOO!
sokka: yeah, well-- uh, i-- when i, erm-- well, that was different! *arms crossed*
aang: *eyebrow raised*
iroh: *pouring himself some more tea* well, it is a catchy line, is it not?
zuko: *facepalm* really not helping, uncle.
toph: and then katara practically transformed into zuko!
katara: no, i didn't... did i?
sokka: *raises eyebrow at katara* crawling-in-the-dark... mysterious, costumed vigilante... ring any bells?
katara: all right, i get it. *eyeroll*
sokka: and you were very snippy, too. we all thought it was because your boyfriend was this close to biting the dust, but turns out, it was all daddy issues.
zuko: *to katara* you too?
toph: are you sure it wasn't just your time of the month, katara? you came off seeming really hormonal.
katara: *gritted teeth* it wasn't. *pause* and FYI, toph: please don't talk about it until you know what it's like.
sokka: aaaand getting off the "girly issues" topic...
aang: zuko angsted. a lot.
iroh: *lifting index finger, with a smile* that is an understatement! he became a soap opera character. secret relatives and everything! it is kind of like star wars in a way.
EVERYBODY: *waits for roku to pop in with a yoda quote*
*cue rolling hayball*
iroh: *eyebrow raised* well, talk about missed opportunities.
zuko: and i did not angst. i was... troubled.
ty lee: *giggles* no, you were pretty angsty.
zuko: *glares*
sokka: *shrugs* i guess that's to be expected, getting all weird, once you've been in mai's, uh, company for so long.
(*and the maiko shippers rejoice!*)
mai: *deadpan* you wish you were that lucky.
sokka: *inches away* uh, sorry, but i have a girlfriend. *pause, then turns to audience* yes, people. i have a girlfriend. *puffs chest out*
suki: *pats sokka's head* there, there. they believe you.
toph: *singsongs* i guess there are such things as miracles!
sokka: *glares at toph*
toph: *practical tone* you know, you glaring at me isn't really effective, since i can't see it.
sokka: *points* and you're very lucky you can't! 'cause it's a mean glare. really mean. you'd wet your pants in regret with that glare. *shakes head*
katara: says he who suddenly developed a confidence crisis not so long ago.
piandao: *pops in* "the way of the sword doesn't belong to any one nation... knowledge of the arts belongs to us--"
roku: *stomps in* okay, how come he gets a real quote and all i get are yoda reruns?! *throws hands into the air in anger and stomps out*
sokka: *eyebrow raised* anyway, by then the show had suddenly transformed into a john hughes movie.
katara: oh, come on, sokka. it wasn't that bad.
sokka: *scoffs* it wasn't that bad, she says. *starts counting with his fingers* let's see, we had iroh-hulk, that robocop, tenshin-han wannabe mercenary, the breakfast club on the beach... katara, we had a freakin' footloose episode! *cue kenny loggins song* didn't we, aang?
aang: *blinks* i don't know what that is.
sokka: we need to get you hooked up to the internet ASAP.
aang: *scratches head* am i the only one not getting these obscure references?
EVERYBODY: yes! *nods*
aang: *sweatdrop* oh. *shrugs* well, at least it's a catchy song! *starts bobbing his head to the music*
sokka: *staring* i swear, it's like toph and i were the only normal ones left.
toph: *chuckles* sure, sokka. you're in the normal group.
sokka: *steam coming out of his ears* that's IT! you think you're so tough, huh? *points at toph* you wanna go outside and settle this like men?
toph: i'm a girl.
smellerbee: so am i!
aang: *blinks* they weren't even talking about you.
longshot: ...
katara: moving on, the day of the eclipse finally came! and we went through with our plan, but it was a flop.
sokka: *sigh*
toph: but we were all pretty awesome, i think!
aang: *brightly* yeah, i think we were pretty badass!
sokka: *big grin* it was a rather badass couple of episodes for everybody, wasn't it?
katara: *nods* yeah, we were all mostly at our best.
zuko: yeah, even my standing up to my father was pretty cool.
katara: *eyebrow raised* and we're supposed to take your word for it? *teasingly* zuko, there's no point in saying you're awesome if nobody was there to see it...
zuko: *glares*
aang: *nervously scratches the back of his head* and i, um, kindofkissedkatara.
(*and the aangtara shippers rejoice, yet again!*)
katara: *blush*
sokka: *cringes* aw, please, i don't need to hear about these things! *shakes head* so anyway, the adults got captured and we had to figure out how to teach aang firebending so he could defeat firelord ozai even in our current eclipse-less state.
toph: luckily for us, zuko showed up! he joined the group and offered to teach aang.
zuko: *mutters* after much squabbling about it.
sokka: and him and aang visited the dragons and did their little fusion dance (*wiggles fingers*) in order to regain their firebending mojo.
trunks: *pops in* think we should sue for copyright infringement?
goten: *pops in* nah, why bother. we're much cuter than they are when we do the fusion dance thingy.
*both pop out*
sokka: ...again, who are these people?
katara: *continuing on as if nothing had happened* and then zuko and sokka went on a mission to rescue suki and dad.
suki: *hugs sokka* my hero!
sokka: *blush* what are you talking about? you practically did all the work! you were really amazing.
hakoda: don't say that, son. it was mostly your plan.
zuko: *mutters* well, part of it.
sokka: *smile* but i wouldn't have done it without you guys. i mean, zuko here channeled his inner harrison ford...
zuko: *half smile*
sokka: ...until azula channeled her inner mr. anderson, that is.
zuko: *frowns*
aang: *ponders* who's that?
sokka: *completely ignoring aang's cluelessness* and we wouldn't have been able to leave that place without mai's intervention, anyway.
suki: yeah, it's a good thing your marital differences weren't irreconcilable, zuko.
zuko: *cringes*
sokka: i still don't get how that happened, BTW. i mean, mai? really?
zuko: *glares* hey, i have feelings!
(*and the maiko shippers rejoice again!*)
toph: *whispers* more like he has urges.
katara: *stares* you're way too young to be insinuating stuff like that.
sokka: *to mai* but regardless of my opinion of you as a person, mai, i have to say that was a fantastic display of awesomeness there.
mai: *deadpan* yes. i am awesome.
ty lee: ooh, what about me? aren't i awesome, too?
*crickets chirping*
ty lee: *frowns* meanies!
sokka: anyway, (*dramatic tone*) and then, in one last moment of absolute awesomeness before the series finale, zuko and katara...
*dramatic pause*
*more dramatic pause*
*yet more dramatic pause*
ty lee: ...ran off to elope?
(*and the zutara shippers rejoice, yet again!*)
sokka: *still dramatic tone* ...ran off to elo-- wait, no. *raises eyebrow at ty lee* dude, we were just talking about mai.
ty lee: *shrugs*
sokka: so, as i was saying, (*again the dramatic tone*) zuko and katara...
*dramatic pause*
*more dramatic pause*
*yet more--
toph: *eyeroll* oh please... zuko and katara had a ninja mission!
(*and the zutara shippers rejoice, regardless!*)
katara: *smirk* actually, we were pretty awesome.
zuko: *smug* yeah, we were awesome.
ty lee: *pouts* why is everybody awesome but me?
mai: *deadpan* there, there.
sokka: actually, i was going to say zuko and katara's characters totally sucked in that play while my character was super cool.
toph: why didn't you mention aang, too? his character was the suckiest of them all.
aang: *sulks*
sokka: i didn't want to make him relive it for fear that he would jump out a window to end his misery.
toph: *practical tone* you know, he's an airbender... it's not like he'd die anyway, he can fly and stuff.
sokka: *snorts* shyeah, like peter pan... he was played by a girl in the theatre play, too, you know.
toph: *snickers* epic fail, twinkletoes.
aang: *sulks some more*
katara: *quickly stepping in before aang can effectively jump out a window* anyway, then sozin's comet arrived! the big finale, you guys. that was exciting, wasn't it? so much stuff happened.
sokka: *mischievous grin* yeah. like when aang ran away!
aang: *facepalm* aw, come on, you guys...
toph: *exaggerated surprise* whaaaaat? sokka, surely you jest! aang would never just run away like that. *teasing grin*
aang: *defensive* i did not just run away all the time!
katara: *cringes* actually, aang, you kind of did.
aang: *sputters* but-- well-- i-- well, you know what? i'm the avatar! it's a tough job, keeping the balance in the world! i think i'm entitled to a little thinking time once in a while, so i can find solutions to life-altering ethical dilemmas.
sokka: *practical tone* actually, the past avatars didn't have any trouble finding solutions to life-altering ethical dilemmas. they knew what they had to do. that's why the creators thought they were useless as wisdom-imparting figures.
bryke: *pop in* roku, you're useless as a wisdom-imparting figure. you're fired.
roku: *jawdrop*
mai: *deadpan* there, there.
lion-turtle: *mutters something that nobody can understand because of the audio effects*
sokka: and while that's all very convenient... we don't get it. *gives up figuring bryke out*
aang: *rolleyes* hey, i came back, didn't i? that's what matters. *pause* and that i was awesome!
sokka: *mock supportive* sure, aang! at least after you found your (*cough*) "push for avatar state" button.
aang: *glares*
sokka: *pauses* ...what? nobody's got a dirty joke about the avatar button? *confused*
zuko: that only happens when someone else innocently says something slightly suggestive and you bring up the dirty joke.
sokka: *glares*
aang: *laughs* oh, good, we're back to teasing sokka now! the natural order of things has been reinstated. *nods*
katara: seriously, though, sokka, you gotta admit that "atomic man" thing aang did with all the elements was pretty awesome.
suki: and the spiritbending.
toph: *slugs aang's arm* yeah, twinkletoes, that wasn't bad at all. personally, i would've beat the crap out of lord pants-on-fire, but hey, your way works too. i hear it was shiny and everything.
aang: *blush* aw, guys, thanks. you were all pretty awesome yourselves.
suki: *excited* we were! sokka, toph and i took down the airships that were going to burn all the other nations.
toph: *grins* i think it says something that i can metalbend even when i'm thousands of feet off the ground.
suki: *nods* sure does.
toph: and then sparky and sweetness did their ninja thing again!
(*and the zutara shippers rejoice, once again!*)
aang: *excited* yeah! it was reeeeeally cool. zuko dueled azula and then katara totally took her down!
sokka: not that it was terribly hard, since azula had gone completely BONKERS... *cringes as he receives glares from his sister and zuko* what? it's a law of life: you go crazy, you get sloppy. azula got sloppy!
katara: the only sloppy thing around here is your--
suki: *intervening quickly* okay, okay, let's play nice, kids. what matters is that we took the psychos down.
sokka: and zuko was crowned fire lord, then katara and aang made out-- which, BTW: ewwww...
(*and the aangtara shippers rejoice, once again!*)
sokka: ...and so did zuko and mai-- which, again: ewwww...
(*and the zukomai shippers rejoice again!*)
sokka: *ignores the fangirly screeching* ...and balance was restored to the world.
suki: at least until zuko left us with that crazy cliffhanger.
*everybody turns to zuko*
zuko: *defensive* what? she's my mother, i have to find her!
iroh: *sips tea and mutters about soap operas*
sokka: *ponders* do you think they'll touch upon that on the movie?
m. night shyamalan: *pops in* no, we won't.
*everybody stares and waits for him to expand on his answer*
*silence*
sokka: *eyebrow twitch* ...ooookay.
toph: so, mr. shamalama, since you're already here, can i make a few... (*discreetly makes earth shake*) ...polite suggestions as to who can play me in the movies?
katara: better not get into that topic. it's gotten enough heat already all over the 'net.
aang: really? why? are the casting choices that bad?
zuko: *grumbles about being played by disney brats*
toph: *to aang, snorts* let's just say that being represented by a girl would be the least of your troubles, twinkletoes.
aang: *eyes wide, pulls shyamalan to the side for a private conversation*
sokka: hmmm, i think aang is also giving him a few, eh... polite suggestions.
toph: *ponders* hmmm, ziyi zhang as me, do you think? she's not that old...
EVERYBODY: *eyebrow raised*
katara: let's just get off this topic, alright? so! the show ended. what did we learn?
sokka: *facepalm* that's what you ask? who are you, barney?
barney: *pops--
EVERYBODY: NO! *push overexcited purple dinosaur out the door*
katara: *glares* oh, come on, you guys. just humor me, i'm curious. (*hands on hips*) and you owe me for cooking all your meals for the past few months.
toph: *mock cringe* ooh, sugar queen's pulling the "guilt-tripping mom" card. *chuckles*
sokka: fine, fine, but only because you fed me. *eyeroll* i learned... that there IS such a thing as just a bear. *fake curiosity* and what did YOU learn, dear little sister?
katara: *mischievous smile* well, dear older brother, i learned that we should keep you away from any kind of art: drawing, painting, sculpting...
toph: don't forget haiku.
katara: *snaps fingers* right, the haiku!
sokka: *glares* i hate you all.
mai: *deadpan* you too?
ty lee: *bouncing excitedly* i learned that ty lee is awesome!
suki: *practical tone* uh, you can't say that because, well, you're ty lee.
ty lee: *genuinely confused* so?
suki: see, it's not correct to call yourself awesome because the whole idea of being awesome means that it's other people who... (*pause, notices ty lee's epxression*) you know what, never mind.
katara: erm, okay. aang, what about you?
aang: *just coming back* i, uh... oh, i learned that smellerbee is a girl!
smellerbee: *nods*
longshot: ...
zuko: i learned that i can't do imitations.
suki: *grins* i learned that zuko likes fluffy things!
zuko: *fire blazing* WHAT? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?!
aang: *inches closer to appa* buddy, i think it's best if you keep away from zuko for a while.
zuko: *facepalm*
toph: i learned that the creators were kinda stupid in hiding ozai's face for so long. i mean, it was obvious that he'd look like an evil zuko...
sokka: *thinks* you really think so? 'cause to me he looks a bit more like a slightly-more-sane azula--
toph: *waves hand in front of her unseeing eyes*
sokka: --oh, right. *glares* why do you feel the need to keep doing that, toph?
toph: *ROTFLHAO* i wouldn't keep doing it if you didn't keep falling for it!
iroh: i like tea. *grins*
katara: well, i guess that's about it for today. we'll see you all in the movie... right, mr. shyamalan?
m. night shyamalan: yes, i've been thinking that to make things more interesting, we're going to add a subplot where you kids come into contact with a series of ghosts from beyond...
sokka: hey, that could work! i mean, katara saw a ghost once. didn't ya, sis?
katara: why just me? you've seen your fair share of ghosts too, you know.
sokka: *exaggerated sniff* YUE IS NOT A GHOST, OKAY? she is a spirit. (*adamant*) she did not die, technically. there's a difference.
katara: and anyway, i'm pretty sure he meant aang. i mean, hellooo, bridge between our world and the spirit world?
toph: *pulls shyamalan to the side* okay, i know who can play me! hikki. yeah, i know she's not chinese, but it's close enough, right? it's not like the fans would be too outraged.
m. night shyamalan: *ponders* yeah, close enough... *thinks maybe selena gomez*
aang: *groans at the thought of yet another movie-casting fandom blowup*
momo: *screeches*
sokka: our original idea was to have momo's screech be the closing word for this recap... but that would be too cliché, if you know what i mean. *pats momo* so that's as much of an "that's all, folks!" as you're going to get.
aang: is that supposed to be a reference to something?
*FINIS*