rinse and repeat...
i made anthony leave and go to his mothers for the time being until he gets his own place in may. for both of our own sanity, its just for the best. we were doing ok not fighting just co-existing, but the last few days has been nothing but attitude and more attitude from him no matter what. i just think its highly unnecessary for all the other stuff going on. i am so overwhelmed with everything, the last thing i need is to still be stressed out by his lil mood swings still and lil fucking attitude. and i shouldnt have to just ignore it and let him still treat me like garbage. we broke up. i dont have to take it now.
i definitely am going to take this time this week to get alot of research done for my presentationl, work on alllllll the papers i have due the tues i get back (6 papers...), and start getting the rest of this house sort of organized. im switching liams room with my room. its in the back part of the house so the sun doesnt come thru the windows like it does in his room right now. this summer itll be too hot for him if he stays in there and plus the porch windows are in his room so if i wanna have some company after hes in bed i wont wake him sitting out and talking on the porch. i cant wait to paint and put some effort into my bedroom. i havent had a decently decorated bedroom in like almost 5 years. i think with everything thats stressing me out, being able to take control of this apartment has really been a kind of therapy. im getting to be creative and the physical aspect of cleaning it all and then putting together furniture and moving things around...it helps and is a whole lot of fun!
i also think im going to really make the effort to start getting to bed by the latest 1am. im going to try to get up at 6am and work out before liam gets up. i was trying on bathing suits the other day....lets just say i almost bought a wet suit instead....by the look of my non muscular body im gonna be hiding quite a bit this summer. i really let myself go...i was in such good shape for hte last few years i was getting used to looking half way decent...ill get there, i still have a couple months to start toning up for summer. plus itll be good for me mentally as well to just work everything out. i wish i could take dance classes still. the timing just sucks. i miss dancing so much. i feel like a huge part of me is missing. maybe thats what alot of my problem has been these last few months....ive had no outlet...i was really starting to break out as a decent dancer right before i got pregnant with liam i would give anything to be back into shape and back to where i was and then some....hopefully this summer i can start taking classes again. i cant wait for this semester to be over!!!!!!!
well its late and my time is up i shoulda been in bed a couple of hours ago when liam went down....
i definitely am going to take this time this week to get alot of research done for my presentationl, work on alllllll the papers i have due the tues i get back (6 papers...), and start getting the rest of this house sort of organized. im switching liams room with my room. its in the back part of the house so the sun doesnt come thru the windows like it does in his room right now. this summer itll be too hot for him if he stays in there and plus the porch windows are in his room so if i wanna have some company after hes in bed i wont wake him sitting out and talking on the porch. i cant wait to paint and put some effort into my bedroom. i havent had a decently decorated bedroom in like almost 5 years. i think with everything thats stressing me out, being able to take control of this apartment has really been a kind of therapy. im getting to be creative and the physical aspect of cleaning it all and then putting together furniture and moving things around...it helps and is a whole lot of fun!
i also think im going to really make the effort to start getting to bed by the latest 1am. im going to try to get up at 6am and work out before liam gets up. i was trying on bathing suits the other day....lets just say i almost bought a wet suit instead....by the look of my non muscular body im gonna be hiding quite a bit this summer. i really let myself go...i was in such good shape for hte last few years i was getting used to looking half way decent...ill get there, i still have a couple months to start toning up for summer. plus itll be good for me mentally as well to just work everything out. i wish i could take dance classes still. the timing just sucks. i miss dancing so much. i feel like a huge part of me is missing. maybe thats what alot of my problem has been these last few months....ive had no outlet...i was really starting to break out as a decent dancer right before i got pregnant with liam i would give anything to be back into shape and back to where i was and then some....hopefully this summer i can start taking classes again. i cant wait for this semester to be over!!!!!!!
well its late and my time is up i shoulda been in bed a couple of hours ago when liam went down....