the roadtrip
day zero- prepping for the big trip
a bunch of folks stopped by while i was packing on monday and tuesday to drop off gifts/goodies and to stare at my face in an attempt to memorize its many facets and curvatures.
tuesday night, in particular, the little group i now call the usc triumvirate (christine, jaclyn, and amanda) came by to show their respects. or so i thought...
it started off innocently enough, chitchatting and the ol' "what are we gonna do without you, jer? you're our heroooo" bit. then they saw how many clothes i was attempting to load into my poor black stallion. they wondered what all i could possibly be taking in 8 outrageously sized glad trash bags since the room was already going to be furnished.
"clothes," i said. and when they looked at me with disbelieving eyes, i said, "yea, i know it looks like a lot but im only taking 25 pairs of pants...."
my mistake.
i received the full force of the clothes nazi triumvirate. and so went a couple of hours of them slashing my wardrobe into half.
"but, but, i love this hoodie!" was no match for their stares.
psh...you'd think they'd empathize with a clotheshorse like myself...afterall, they were trojans- who better to understand superficiality?
(BTW girls- it IS hot here. so it looks like i DID need those shorts and skirts that you made me cut out.)
jess came over around midnight and i didnt finish packing til about 2am. we were set to leave at 6am...
day one- the big day
i woke up around 5 and then proceeded to spend 20 minutes frantically looking for my car keys. (they ended up being in the pocket of the jeans i'd worn the night before. nandi and jess are rubbing off on me.) my mom woke up earlier than i did to make us some deliciously fluffy egg muffin-like sandwiches for the road. a few hugs from the fambam and i was off on the road to pick up lindsay aka poopsie. we approached her apt a little before 7 and kept calling her cellphone to no avail. ten minutes later, she runs down- she had just woken up.
first stop- vegas
i know, i know, the 4th of july was supposed to be my last hurrah there but it was on the way and our friend that we hadnt seen since college graduation said we could stay with him. we ended up just having lunch at the in-n-out there and leaving. it was ridiculously hot there.
second stop- provo, utah
ever wondered what brigham young university looked like? we did...sorta.
after making countless jokes about "lets stock up on all the coke and coffee we can before we hit utah!" we could, we finally hit utah, where it proceeded to rain. if that wasnt weird enough, the mcdonalds there provided dvd rentals. wtf?
we had to make a gas stop before we stayed the night at salt lake city so we exited in provo, home of the infamous crazy mormon crier, julie, from real world new orleans. i kid you not, we were the only non-white folk we saw there. there were cars full of people that would just staaare at us. not the "you're hot" stare, but the "mum, what is them?" stare. after we got our gas, we took a picture in front of the brigham young university sign and jetted off towards salt lake city.
third stop- midvale, utah
a few exits shy of salt lake city, we figured we'd get cheaper motel rates there. what we got was a fatty "utah doesnt want you" rejection. turns out there was a convention in salt lake city that drew 25,000 people and so there were no available motels in sight. on a random wednesday night! they said "try wyoming".
i kid you not.
its a bit after 11pm by this point but we have not choice but to head to wyoming.
day two- or rather, day one cont'd
fourth stop- evanston, wyoming
i think it's about 12:30 by this time. there werent too many motels in site so we go to the motel 8.
in fourth grade, i CHOSE to do a state report on wyoming. out of all 50 states, i chose WYOMING, dammit. i gave them some love and now it was time for them to return the favor. but i guess karma doesnt quite work that way because all we got was a fatty "wyoming doenst want you" rejection. the reason we got was- "its that time of year. everything's booked."
TIME OF YEAR? that everyone is driving thru wyoming? i mean, REALLY?! we're laughing at this point at the complete absurdity of it all. either that, or we were tired to the point of hysteria. but jess, our little nocturnal bat, said we should just drive thru the night until we hit chicago. we almost had no choice. we stopped to take a bathroom break. i stayed in the car while jess and linds got out. jess was clinging to the mace as linds was clinging to jess.
fifth stop- nebraska
it was my leg of the trip and my contacts felt like they were permanently stuck to my irises so we stopped at a gas station/dairy queen. the scene was just like out of a movie. you had about 6 men in their sixties or so, just hanging around, reading the newspaper inside, at 9am. i think about half of them were wearing overalls. i waited for the gas attendant/dairy queen worker to make me a blizzard. he said he'd be right there. 2 minutes later, one of the old men yells, "TIMMMY...there are some lovely ladies here that want ice cream. come help them". "timmy" yells back to the local that he saw us and would be right there. a minute later, someone else's granddaddy haggles poor timmy and apologizes to us that there's only one worker there. soon, they're all hassling timmy until he finally comes over.
timmy is tall, pudgy, and most of his teeth have rotted. looks like he's done too much ice cream eating and not enough flossing. he tells me that im lucky cuz im gonna have the first ice cream of the day and that even HE hasnt had one yet. im thinkin he doesnt necessarily need anymore but then neither do i so i stay silent. another local yells out, "if you wanna give me a sample, i'll tell you whether it's good or not". and then the locals begin to talk about whether they liked fried green tomatoes (the food and the movie). about 15 minutes after i arrived, i get back in the car with a mint oreo blizzard.
sixth stop- omaha, nebraska
we wanted one of the famous omaha steaks so we stop at the cracker barrel there. jess said she's been there before but then after we ate, she realized that she hadnt been to one before- she had confused it with claimjumper. if you ever eat at a cracker barrel, try their blueberry pancakes. hooooly crap. im almost positive its the best thing the midwest has to offer.
seventh stop- joliet, illinois
about 45 minutes away from chicago, we got a fabulous rate of $63 for a night at the ramada inn.
after having driven 42 hours straight, we were obviously restless. delirium hit.
day three- CHI-TOWN!
linds's boyfriend booked us a great deal at the westin in chicago so we thought we'd live the lap of luxury for once. we even got a free upgrade with a nice little view of the chicago river.
we settle in around noon and then head out for some shopping at michigan ave and have some amazing chicago deep dish pizza at pizzeria uno. we figure we'd go out but not do anything too crazy since we had a long drive to niagara falls the next day.
after some advice from friends and the hotel concierge, we decided on the y bar and soundbar. not realizing that the clubs there close at 4, we got to y bar a little after 10 to see hardly anyone there. linds and jess dove right into the long islands while i had some cranberry vodka, screwdiver, and vodka shot. before long, the three of us were drunk out of our minds and i was sending picture and video messages thru my phone to all sorts of people. (looking back on msgs the next day, i noticed that i agreed to marry one of nandi's friends.)
we scooted around the corner to the soundbar, a big club. i not-so-distinctly remember the bottom floor having walls made of glass. not such a good idea because i almost ran right into one. then i proceeded to yell, "ahhhhh!! how do we get in? how? we need more drinks!" although, clearly, this was the time to put a stop to the alcohol.
we managed to find an entrance where we bought some cosmos and the bartender threw in some free kamikaze shots for us. then, some girl that worked there came over to us and told us to dance with some big black guys that were sitting down because they were professional baseball players. then, jess and linds went to the bathroom while i sat on a big comfy chair.
the rest of the night was pure madness. i will omit it from the story in respect to jess but let's just say there was much puking and the words "I SWEAR I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE TONIGHT!" were thrown out more than 50 times. i specifically remember linds yelling "P-I-C-T-U-R-E" to me and me taking about a minute to let that register before i got out my camera. we proceeded to take this little gem.
when jess saw it the next day, she commented, "you guys are bitches." ha.
day four- on the way to niagara falls
my first thought was, "indiana is all the way up here?" obviously, geography is not one of my strongsuits. we finally get to the canadian border. the female customs officer there asks for our passports. i didnt know we had to show our passports to get to friggin canada but luckily, we had them with us, just in case. we fumbled to get them out and the lady told us a little rudely that "next time, you should have them ready". um, lady, there's no other car around. is it that important for us to save your that extra 15 seconds? work for your pay, dammit! she asked us if we had any weapons, firearms and such and so i scoffed. but then she asked if we had pepper spray and we were like, shit, we're offending criminals! so jess had her mace confiscated. $15 down the hole. damn maple leaves. (yes, about a third of my friends list are canadian bacon, but dammit, i said it and i'll say it again!)
we finally got to lundy's lane around 1am and the place was still poppin. tons of people walking around but we were pooped. the inn we were staying at lost my reservations, (damn indians), but they gave us someone else's reservation so it was all good.
day five- final destination reached at last!
we head out to niagara falls around 11 and i must say it's absolutely amazing. it was raining and we didnt have umbrellas so we each bought these little white trash bags with canadian flags on them ponchos. observe.
we then went to a denny's for brunch where their meatlovers skillet was a whopping $14.55!!!! even with the currency exchange rate, thats highway robbery! plus we had to wait 45 minutes for our goddamn expensive food.
we hit u.s. customs to get back into the country and noticed they were much more lenient than canada was. they didnt ask us if we had firearms or anything. then we rationalized that there were probably many more american criminals trying to make their way into canada than vice versa.
new york was raining cats and dogs and there was scary lightning that lit up the sky like daylight but we trudged thru and made it to boston.
and now, here i am, in beantown. hurrah.
a bunch of folks stopped by while i was packing on monday and tuesday to drop off gifts/goodies and to stare at my face in an attempt to memorize its many facets and curvatures.
tuesday night, in particular, the little group i now call the usc triumvirate (christine, jaclyn, and amanda) came by to show their respects. or so i thought...
it started off innocently enough, chitchatting and the ol' "what are we gonna do without you, jer? you're our heroooo" bit. then they saw how many clothes i was attempting to load into my poor black stallion. they wondered what all i could possibly be taking in 8 outrageously sized glad trash bags since the room was already going to be furnished.
"clothes," i said. and when they looked at me with disbelieving eyes, i said, "yea, i know it looks like a lot but im only taking 25 pairs of pants...."
my mistake.
i received the full force of the clothes nazi triumvirate. and so went a couple of hours of them slashing my wardrobe into half.
"but, but, i love this hoodie!" was no match for their stares.
psh...you'd think they'd empathize with a clotheshorse like myself...afterall, they were trojans- who better to understand superficiality?
(BTW girls- it IS hot here. so it looks like i DID need those shorts and skirts that you made me cut out.)
jess came over around midnight and i didnt finish packing til about 2am. we were set to leave at 6am...
day one- the big day
i woke up around 5 and then proceeded to spend 20 minutes frantically looking for my car keys. (they ended up being in the pocket of the jeans i'd worn the night before. nandi and jess are rubbing off on me.) my mom woke up earlier than i did to make us some deliciously fluffy egg muffin-like sandwiches for the road. a few hugs from the fambam and i was off on the road to pick up lindsay aka poopsie. we approached her apt a little before 7 and kept calling her cellphone to no avail. ten minutes later, she runs down- she had just woken up.
first stop- vegas
i know, i know, the 4th of july was supposed to be my last hurrah there but it was on the way and our friend that we hadnt seen since college graduation said we could stay with him. we ended up just having lunch at the in-n-out there and leaving. it was ridiculously hot there.
second stop- provo, utah
ever wondered what brigham young university looked like? we did...sorta.
after making countless jokes about "lets stock up on all the coke and coffee we can before we hit utah!" we could, we finally hit utah, where it proceeded to rain. if that wasnt weird enough, the mcdonalds there provided dvd rentals. wtf?
we had to make a gas stop before we stayed the night at salt lake city so we exited in provo, home of the infamous crazy mormon crier, julie, from real world new orleans. i kid you not, we were the only non-white folk we saw there. there were cars full of people that would just staaare at us. not the "you're hot" stare, but the "mum, what is them?" stare. after we got our gas, we took a picture in front of the brigham young university sign and jetted off towards salt lake city.
third stop- midvale, utah
a few exits shy of salt lake city, we figured we'd get cheaper motel rates there. what we got was a fatty "utah doesnt want you" rejection. turns out there was a convention in salt lake city that drew 25,000 people and so there were no available motels in sight. on a random wednesday night! they said "try wyoming".
i kid you not.
its a bit after 11pm by this point but we have not choice but to head to wyoming.
day two- or rather, day one cont'd
fourth stop- evanston, wyoming
i think it's about 12:30 by this time. there werent too many motels in site so we go to the motel 8.
in fourth grade, i CHOSE to do a state report on wyoming. out of all 50 states, i chose WYOMING, dammit. i gave them some love and now it was time for them to return the favor. but i guess karma doesnt quite work that way because all we got was a fatty "wyoming doenst want you" rejection. the reason we got was- "its that time of year. everything's booked."
TIME OF YEAR? that everyone is driving thru wyoming? i mean, REALLY?! we're laughing at this point at the complete absurdity of it all. either that, or we were tired to the point of hysteria. but jess, our little nocturnal bat, said we should just drive thru the night until we hit chicago. we almost had no choice. we stopped to take a bathroom break. i stayed in the car while jess and linds got out. jess was clinging to the mace as linds was clinging to jess.
fifth stop- nebraska
it was my leg of the trip and my contacts felt like they were permanently stuck to my irises so we stopped at a gas station/dairy queen. the scene was just like out of a movie. you had about 6 men in their sixties or so, just hanging around, reading the newspaper inside, at 9am. i think about half of them were wearing overalls. i waited for the gas attendant/dairy queen worker to make me a blizzard. he said he'd be right there. 2 minutes later, one of the old men yells, "TIMMMY...there are some lovely ladies here that want ice cream. come help them". "timmy" yells back to the local that he saw us and would be right there. a minute later, someone else's granddaddy haggles poor timmy and apologizes to us that there's only one worker there. soon, they're all hassling timmy until he finally comes over.
timmy is tall, pudgy, and most of his teeth have rotted. looks like he's done too much ice cream eating and not enough flossing. he tells me that im lucky cuz im gonna have the first ice cream of the day and that even HE hasnt had one yet. im thinkin he doesnt necessarily need anymore but then neither do i so i stay silent. another local yells out, "if you wanna give me a sample, i'll tell you whether it's good or not". and then the locals begin to talk about whether they liked fried green tomatoes (the food and the movie). about 15 minutes after i arrived, i get back in the car with a mint oreo blizzard.
sixth stop- omaha, nebraska
we wanted one of the famous omaha steaks so we stop at the cracker barrel there. jess said she's been there before but then after we ate, she realized that she hadnt been to one before- she had confused it with claimjumper. if you ever eat at a cracker barrel, try their blueberry pancakes. hooooly crap. im almost positive its the best thing the midwest has to offer.
seventh stop- joliet, illinois
about 45 minutes away from chicago, we got a fabulous rate of $63 for a night at the ramada inn.
after having driven 42 hours straight, we were obviously restless. delirium hit.
day three- CHI-TOWN!
linds's boyfriend booked us a great deal at the westin in chicago so we thought we'd live the lap of luxury for once. we even got a free upgrade with a nice little view of the chicago river.
we settle in around noon and then head out for some shopping at michigan ave and have some amazing chicago deep dish pizza at pizzeria uno. we figure we'd go out but not do anything too crazy since we had a long drive to niagara falls the next day.
after some advice from friends and the hotel concierge, we decided on the y bar and soundbar. not realizing that the clubs there close at 4, we got to y bar a little after 10 to see hardly anyone there. linds and jess dove right into the long islands while i had some cranberry vodka, screwdiver, and vodka shot. before long, the three of us were drunk out of our minds and i was sending picture and video messages thru my phone to all sorts of people. (looking back on msgs the next day, i noticed that i agreed to marry one of nandi's friends.)
we scooted around the corner to the soundbar, a big club. i not-so-distinctly remember the bottom floor having walls made of glass. not such a good idea because i almost ran right into one. then i proceeded to yell, "ahhhhh!! how do we get in? how? we need more drinks!" although, clearly, this was the time to put a stop to the alcohol.
we managed to find an entrance where we bought some cosmos and the bartender threw in some free kamikaze shots for us. then, some girl that worked there came over to us and told us to dance with some big black guys that were sitting down because they were professional baseball players. then, jess and linds went to the bathroom while i sat on a big comfy chair.
the rest of the night was pure madness. i will omit it from the story in respect to jess but let's just say there was much puking and the words "I SWEAR I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE TONIGHT!" were thrown out more than 50 times. i specifically remember linds yelling "P-I-C-T-U-R-E" to me and me taking about a minute to let that register before i got out my camera. we proceeded to take this little gem.
when jess saw it the next day, she commented, "you guys are bitches." ha.
day four- on the way to niagara falls
my first thought was, "indiana is all the way up here?" obviously, geography is not one of my strongsuits. we finally get to the canadian border. the female customs officer there asks for our passports. i didnt know we had to show our passports to get to friggin canada but luckily, we had them with us, just in case. we fumbled to get them out and the lady told us a little rudely that "next time, you should have them ready". um, lady, there's no other car around. is it that important for us to save your that extra 15 seconds? work for your pay, dammit! she asked us if we had any weapons, firearms and such and so i scoffed. but then she asked if we had pepper spray and we were like, shit, we're offending criminals! so jess had her mace confiscated. $15 down the hole. damn maple leaves. (yes, about a third of my friends list are canadian bacon, but dammit, i said it and i'll say it again!)
we finally got to lundy's lane around 1am and the place was still poppin. tons of people walking around but we were pooped. the inn we were staying at lost my reservations, (damn indians), but they gave us someone else's reservation so it was all good.
day five- final destination reached at last!
we head out to niagara falls around 11 and i must say it's absolutely amazing. it was raining and we didnt have umbrellas so we each bought these little white trash bags with canadian flags on them ponchos. observe.
we then went to a denny's for brunch where their meatlovers skillet was a whopping $14.55!!!! even with the currency exchange rate, thats highway robbery! plus we had to wait 45 minutes for our goddamn expensive food.
we hit u.s. customs to get back into the country and noticed they were much more lenient than canada was. they didnt ask us if we had firearms or anything. then we rationalized that there were probably many more american criminals trying to make their way into canada than vice versa.
new york was raining cats and dogs and there was scary lightning that lit up the sky like daylight but we trudged thru and made it to boston.
and now, here i am, in beantown. hurrah.