A Test of Hearty Goodness.
How many times have you come across a book, movie, or tv show that depicts rugged farmer people making a living out on the open plains? How often have these depictions been so drenched in folksy zen observation and pipe-puffing down-to-earthiness that it made you wonder how people that wake up at four in the morning to mine utters have time to dream up so many life-affirming Hallmark quotes, or how anyone so down-to-earth can avoid being crushed by the gravity of their own dutiful head nods and telling hat-removals?
For those of you who answered "A bunch" to the two questions above, here's a little quiz on verbose farm narratives. Can you guess which of the following passages are a) from Willa Cather's literary classic "My Antonia", or b) the grizzled utterances of film star and oatmeal/diabetes spokesman Wilford Brimley. Bonus points for anyone who gets through the test without succumbing to sepia poisoning.
1."What we got here is a paradise, and nothing attracts a serpent like a paradise."
2."This cornfield, and the sorghum patch behind the barn, were the only broken land in sight. Everywhere, as far as the eye could reach, there was nothing but rough, shaggy, red grass, most of it as tall as I."
3."I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim."
4. "She often reminded me, when she was preparing for the return of the hungry men, that this country was not like Virginia; and that here a cook had, as she said, 'very little to do with.'"
5. "I love watching a good horse do what he's bred to do-I guess that's what I like the most about it. And I love to see good athletes do what they're bred to do."
6. "I'm not anybody's judge; I don't know what motivates people to do what they do. But I have a lot of admiration for anybody who can start with absolutely nothing and make a little something out of it."
7."I...thought of how she used to run barefoot over the prairie until after the snow began to fly, and how Crazy Mary chased her round and round the cornfields. It seemed to me wonderful that she should have got on so well in the world. Certainly she had no one but herself to thank for it."
8. "Now we need five minutes of his time and by hell we aim to get it - please excuse my language!"
9. "I was never one that claimed old folks could bring up their grandchildren. But it came about so; there wasn't any other way for you, it seemed like."
10. "What would anybody want to kill themselves in summer for? In threshing time, too! It's nice everywhere then."
Just Because: "'Hurrah! The murder!' the children murmured, looking pleased and interested."
For those of you who answered "A bunch" to the two questions above, here's a little quiz on verbose farm narratives. Can you guess which of the following passages are a) from Willa Cather's literary classic "My Antonia", or b) the grizzled utterances of film star and oatmeal/diabetes spokesman Wilford Brimley. Bonus points for anyone who gets through the test without succumbing to sepia poisoning.
1."What we got here is a paradise, and nothing attracts a serpent like a paradise."
2."This cornfield, and the sorghum patch behind the barn, were the only broken land in sight. Everywhere, as far as the eye could reach, there was nothing but rough, shaggy, red grass, most of it as tall as I."
3."I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim."
4. "She often reminded me, when she was preparing for the return of the hungry men, that this country was not like Virginia; and that here a cook had, as she said, 'very little to do with.'"
5. "I love watching a good horse do what he's bred to do-I guess that's what I like the most about it. And I love to see good athletes do what they're bred to do."
6. "I'm not anybody's judge; I don't know what motivates people to do what they do. But I have a lot of admiration for anybody who can start with absolutely nothing and make a little something out of it."
7."I...thought of how she used to run barefoot over the prairie until after the snow began to fly, and how Crazy Mary chased her round and round the cornfields. It seemed to me wonderful that she should have got on so well in the world. Certainly she had no one but herself to thank for it."
8. "Now we need five minutes of his time and by hell we aim to get it - please excuse my language!"
9. "I was never one that claimed old folks could bring up their grandchildren. But it came about so; there wasn't any other way for you, it seemed like."
10. "What would anybody want to kill themselves in summer for? In threshing time, too! It's nice everywhere then."
Just Because: "'Hurrah! The murder!' the children murmured, looking pleased and interested."