Product Testimonials
"The other day I was carving the names of girls I liked in high school onto my arm, when I paused for a moment and thought "Wow, this thing's really sharp!" That's when I glanced at the box and saw the Edge-Co logo emblazoned on the side. "Naturally" I said, grinning at the box and nodding, even though it's not a person. Edge-Co knives come with a lifetime guarantee, so they'll never get dull or rusty. And they're dishwasher safe, to get rid of pesky coagulants. I bought my parents a set for Christmas, even though they aren't people. So the next time your preparing a meal in the kitchen, or just leading yourself down the winding path of mental collapse (in cursive), be sure to send your trembling hands towards an Edge-Co! Order within the next thirty days and receive the Sears three-in-one ratchet set, for those hard to reach jobs, or just on the go! The Sears three-in-one is a ratchet set for all occasions."
-John K., Scranton, PA
"Tuesday. Me and my Ford are haulin lumber down I-8. Four wheel drive engaged, all eight cylinders thundering like a herd of fuel-injected stallions galloping off a cliffside. You know, haulin. No g. G's are for fags. We're making good time when two lanes ahead of me some godless jap car hits the side of a bus. A church tour bus, full of nuns. Pregnant nuns. That was all I needed to see. Me and my Ford went into action. I changed lanes, stomped down on the gas, started screaming the national anthem. Yeah, I got a little teary. Always do when I hear the 'them. The acceleration, rated top in it's class by J.D. Powers and Associates, gets me caught up with time to spare, and as we plow over the pinko-mobile, the advanced ABS brakes and industry leading shocks, standard, make sure the ride stays smooth. Once I hit pavement again, the only thing left was to turn on the wiper fluid. Yeah, his blood may have been red. But was it white and blue?"
- Craig W., Little Rock, AK
-John K., Scranton, PA
"Tuesday. Me and my Ford are haulin lumber down I-8. Four wheel drive engaged, all eight cylinders thundering like a herd of fuel-injected stallions galloping off a cliffside. You know, haulin. No g. G's are for fags. We're making good time when two lanes ahead of me some godless jap car hits the side of a bus. A church tour bus, full of nuns. Pregnant nuns. That was all I needed to see. Me and my Ford went into action. I changed lanes, stomped down on the gas, started screaming the national anthem. Yeah, I got a little teary. Always do when I hear the 'them. The acceleration, rated top in it's class by J.D. Powers and Associates, gets me caught up with time to spare, and as we plow over the pinko-mobile, the advanced ABS brakes and industry leading shocks, standard, make sure the ride stays smooth. Once I hit pavement again, the only thing left was to turn on the wiper fluid. Yeah, his blood may have been red. But was it white and blue?"
- Craig W., Little Rock, AK