FUCKKKKKKKK
Im so fucken tired of people. Last night Joes chick was dumb. Today Patsy disrespected my grandmother. Tonight Mikies fuckin little friend is a dumb ass bitch. Hes all mad at me and frankly Im fine with it. He can be mad. And fuck it I am a racist person I guess. Cause I can not fucken stand stupid ass black woman. THey are fucken dumb. I think Im just gonna bounce for awhile. Probley be better. Cause my mental place right now I am gonna end up killing someone. Fucken people piss me soooo fucken much. And I am so tired of people acting all hard. What the fuck are you gonna do to me? haha Fucken try Im fucken tired of people. Treaten me. Im right here Im not going anywhere.
And Jose is all saying shit about how he dosnt want to have to explain me to people and wants me to watch what i fucken say. I am who I fucken am damnit. Im not changing for anyone anymore!!! I did that shit with Matthew. I will never fuken do it again. NEVER! You want to be with me then be with me but dont try to fucken change me. And if your fucken ashamed of me then theres the fucekn door!
Im done... Men arnt worth my time. And fuckem woman piss me off. At the moment I am truly unsure why I care. I am so tired of giving so much more then I get back. Its tiering. I give and I give and I love and Love and it dosnt fucken matter. It truly dosnt.
I have Mikie telling me he is crazy about me and in love with me. But aperntly not at least not enough cause he "cant" be with me. Im in love with someone who cant love me back the way I deserve and love him.
I decide to give up on Mikie. Cause he has made his choice and made it clear. You can say the perfect things and make me feel amazing. But what it comes down to is actions speak louder then all the words in the world.
Jose aperntly is ashamed of me. Of course another guy Im with has issues with how close I am to Mikie. And fuck what do I do? I have tried to change things but I cant. I refuse to hide and not speak my truth anymore. Its my fult I didnt in the first place. Or Mike would be mine. Im sorry I cant not be what I am with him.
Jose tells me he understands our friendship. But dosnt want to have to explain it to his friends. Well Im sorry I am who I am. Sorry you have to explain shit. Whos fucken bussiness is it anyway? NO ONES! What I say to Mikie is between Mikie and myself. Not Mikies dumbass fucken friends Not Jose's fucken friends. The only people who have a right to say something is Jose and Lena. Thats it. And you have a problem I will do what I can to what i have to do to make sure it dosnt happen again.
Im sooo just done at the moment. Dont with it all. Done with everyone. It seems like everyone in my life I keep giving and giving everything and for what to get hurt over and over again?
Mikie, Jose, Serafin....Im losing everyone and everything. Everyone I charish so much. I am so tired of being hurt. Dont I deserve someone who wont hurt me? Someone who will actually be proud to be with me? Someone who truly wants me for me?
I just dont want to hurt.....Im so tired of hurting.....
And Jose is all saying shit about how he dosnt want to have to explain me to people and wants me to watch what i fucken say. I am who I fucken am damnit. Im not changing for anyone anymore!!! I did that shit with Matthew. I will never fuken do it again. NEVER! You want to be with me then be with me but dont try to fucken change me. And if your fucken ashamed of me then theres the fucekn door!
Im done... Men arnt worth my time. And fuckem woman piss me off. At the moment I am truly unsure why I care. I am so tired of giving so much more then I get back. Its tiering. I give and I give and I love and Love and it dosnt fucken matter. It truly dosnt.
I have Mikie telling me he is crazy about me and in love with me. But aperntly not at least not enough cause he "cant" be with me. Im in love with someone who cant love me back the way I deserve and love him.
I decide to give up on Mikie. Cause he has made his choice and made it clear. You can say the perfect things and make me feel amazing. But what it comes down to is actions speak louder then all the words in the world.
Jose aperntly is ashamed of me. Of course another guy Im with has issues with how close I am to Mikie. And fuck what do I do? I have tried to change things but I cant. I refuse to hide and not speak my truth anymore. Its my fult I didnt in the first place. Or Mike would be mine. Im sorry I cant not be what I am with him.
Jose tells me he understands our friendship. But dosnt want to have to explain it to his friends. Well Im sorry I am who I am. Sorry you have to explain shit. Whos fucken bussiness is it anyway? NO ONES! What I say to Mikie is between Mikie and myself. Not Mikies dumbass fucken friends Not Jose's fucken friends. The only people who have a right to say something is Jose and Lena. Thats it. And you have a problem I will do what I can to what i have to do to make sure it dosnt happen again.
Im sooo just done at the moment. Dont with it all. Done with everyone. It seems like everyone in my life I keep giving and giving everything and for what to get hurt over and over again?
Mikie, Jose, Serafin....Im losing everyone and everything. Everyone I charish so much. I am so tired of being hurt. Dont I deserve someone who wont hurt me? Someone who will actually be proud to be with me? Someone who truly wants me for me?
I just dont want to hurt.....Im so tired of hurting.....