RP LOG with tenderluvnlisa & cutandlearn | Decision time
Chris was yet again a screwed up mess as he stormed out of Bella's office, and to the fuck with any of her staff who wanted to eyeball him and start rumours. His brother was goddamn dying from cancer and if he wanted to cry and and yell and make a scene, he was going to do it. Or had already done it, rather. When he left the beach, he had told himself he would be so cool about the whole thing and go in calm and collected, but the journey between the beach and the hospital, getting stuck in traffic in the cab, left him with too much time to stew and get worked up again. The baby thing had put a spanner in his works and it was a spanner that maybe deep down he wanted in the works. He had been so sure of his decision but maybe at the end of the day, he really couldn't just walk away and not help Rick. It had been part of his psyche forever, and now this was the ultimate help Rick needed. Did Chris really have the capacity to just walk away?
For now, he was going to do a damn good job mimicking it at least, and he was roughly trying to wipe his cheeks with the back of his hand as he tried to do a bolt from the oncology unit and probably the whole hospital. He had meant what he said when he gave Bella the ultimatum. He had his fill of all the damn bullshit, it was time to stop screwing around with everything and just deal with it all. If she didn't tell Rick, he would... and then he would have Rick transferred to the oncology unit in Orlando or Jacksonville. The past few months of secrets and concealing and dancing around with information and changes had taken it's toll and he finally - and inevitably - hit a brick wall with it all.
But he wasn't looking or concentrating when he veered around the corner to the elevators and he crashed roughly into someone rounding the corner from the opposite direction. They only narrowly missed knocking each other to the ground, but she had her stethoscope in her hand an in an effort not to fall over, had thrown her arm up and caught Chris firmly in the eye with the drum of it. "God-friggin-damnit! Can't anyone just give me a fucking brea--" He stopped abruptly when he realised who he had crashed into and the beginnings of his frustrated and still upset rant Round Two got cut off as he just looked like he wanted to dive out the nearest window all of a sudden.
Lisa had been trying her best to stay out of the way and just get back to work as she tried to forget Chris' outburst but it was hard. It was hard to unhear that your boss was having a patient's baby. Not only that, but the patient was the brother of your own brother's best friend. Lisa had gone from feeling like she'd just stumbled into a job at the best hospital around to feeling like she'd somehow wound up on the set of a soap opera. Now she bit back a curse as she slammed into another person and felt her stomach drop out as she realised it was Chris. She'd never had a problem with him apart from when she'd first met him and suffered at the hands of a Deleo-centred crush, but now she just really didn't want to have to try and talk to him while still trying to just act like she hadn't seen, or heard anything. She wasn't even sure if he'd known it was her in the office and she had been hoping to getaway with it.
As she saw the expression of his face though, she realised he had noticed it was her. "I'm so sorry, Chris. Are you okay? Are you bleeding?"
The eye was stinging and felt like it was watering enough to create a small tidal wave, but he took his hand away to look at his fingers, finding no blood there. "No... it's fine, don't worry about it. It's my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going." He was starting to wonder if he was ever going to be the cool and confident guy he had been just a few weeks ago, but it seemed to be getting more and more unlikely as the days passed. The morning started out good. He made his decision and then there was amazing sex just for the sake of it. If the news hadn't been dropped on him, he would probably still be at home in bed naked with Serena and a small sob almost escaped when he realised how much he wanted that to be, but that was shot in the ass now. "I- I didn't even realise you were in town, let alone working here. Dave didn't say. But then, I haven't had the chance to see him much these past few weeks..."
"He's been working his ass off. Getting three hours sleep. I haven't even seen him, and he's my brother. But then I did kind of just drop it on him. It was supposed to be a surprise." Lisa hooked her stethoscope around her neck to get it out of the way before she tried to get a look at Chris' face. She scrunched her nose up in concentration. "So, you know... surprise! Just what you always wanted. Dorky little Lisa back to follow you around like a bad smell."
"The life of Alpha," Chris commented and cleared his throat. "I dunno, doesn't following constitute actually coming at someone from behind and not in front?" he joked, but there wasn't much punch behind it and if he smirked, anyone would have blinked and missed it. "He knows you're here right? Because seriously, you ask me to keep any secrets, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself, in the nicest possible way."
Lisa arched an eyebrow. "I missed you too, Chris. It's so nice to see you again. Yes, he knows I'm here. I told him online. It's been hard enough to get him on the phone. I was just hoping he'd find it eventually. You don't have to keep any of my secrets. I don't even have any. Not like... Nothing. No secrets. I don't know about any secrets, I swear."
Chris tilted his head and pierce her with a gaze. "Oh, now I know you're just lying. I know you heard what I said when I went into the office." He knew there was a history there, and also that she mostly knew him as C, the cool and chilled guy with a wicked sense of humour. Now she was getting C's stressed and flat alter-ego. He was even there in crappy old trackpants, shoes without socks and probably still had something akin to fuck hair. Serena always played with his hair when they had sex, and he had come to be more than used to that. "That is information that could ruin Bella's career."
"Somehow I don't think you were there to exactly save her career," Lisa found falling out of her mouth before she could stop and process her words. She held her hands up in a show of surrender and sighed. "Look, I'm not going to say anything, okay? I like it here. I like Dr Watson. This is my first day, C. My first day. I don't want anything messing that up. As far as I'm concerned I didn't hear anything. It's between you, Dr Watson, and your brother. But you should know he's getting worse. The swelling in his groin has grown, and he'll have to go on dialysis very soon so he can have the next round of chemo." Lisa looked over him quietly, his appearance not bothering her. She'd probably looked worse while she was looking after Dave. "He was getting a fever overnight, it wasn't a UTI."
"Just my brother's life," Chris mumbled in return and was back to rubbing his stingy eye again. His first reaction was to wonder why the hell Bella hadn't told him these changes, until he remembered he hardly gave her chance to tell him anything being so in her face. Now he had reigned in his emotions a little, he felt like a giant dick for doing what he did. He looked at her with a small shake of his head in disbelief before he cupped his hands over his face, really trying not to start crying again. He had to talk to Serena, and he wanted a hug. At this point, he would even settle for one off Proctor he felt like such shit. Kidney transplant, or Rick was on dialysis and more chemo... and then the clock was ticking. Dialysis wouldn't keep him alive forever. "I feel sick," he added with a heavy exhalation.
Lisa hooked her arm under Chris' and steered him in the direction of the doctors' lounge. He was a doctor, right? He could still go in there. He needed to go in there. She was just hoping all the other doctors were busy so they could have the room to themselves. She wondered if she should offer to call his girlfriend but she glanced up as the elevators dinged and saw a petite blonde come out of them wearing what looked like boyfriend clothes. A man's t-shirt, man's unzipped hoodie and even a pair of men's sweatpants. Lisa watched and waited for the blonde to show some kind of recognition towards Chris and when she saw it, she nodded her head to indicate for her to meet them at the end of the hall.
Serena had let out a sigh of relief at seeing Chris being guided by a nurse, and one that seemed to understand that Serena was there for him. The brunette was looking vaguely familiar for a reason but she couldn't quite put her finger on why. All she knew was that she had never dressed so quickly after receiving a text message. Chris' clothes seemed destined to get a work out and Serena had borrowed them when putting her own on seemed too much like a chore. It was a habit she was falling into a lot these days. "Chris," she murmured when she followed her boyfriend and the nurse into the doctors' lounge. Thankfully it really was devoid of anyone else and she just wrapped her arms around him when the brunette stepped back.
Chris had been to caught up in trying to figure out kidney versus baby in his screwed brain to even realise Serena had arrived. But as soon as he realised, his breath left him in a rush. "Oh thank god," he said with a small sob and wrapped his arms tightly around her in the hug. He really didn't want to let go and he buried his face in her shoulder to just try and steal some sort of... something she had to help him deal with this. He pulled back a little and kissed her, only to break it off and start hugging her again. "I'm sorry about this morning, babe, I know I freaked out. I'm getting good at that lately, trust me." He did manage to somehow collect himself and pulled out of the embrace again, but he kept a tight grip on Serena's hand. "I should... this is Lisa. Bella's new nurse that I totally screwed up in front of too, but yeah, she's Dave's sister."
Lisa offered a smile as she gave Serena a small wave. Now she could see what Bella had been talking about. The two young doctors really did have a connection that it was impossible not to notice. And Serena was definitely pretty. She also obviously cared about Chris deeply. "That's me. Lisa Tyler, nurse and Dave's sister. I've heard a lot about you, Serena. All good I promise. It's nice to meet you."
Serena returned Lisa's smile. "Nice to meet you, too. I'm glad to see Dave's family finally join us in Miami. In fact, everyone's siblings seem to be coming to visit lately. One big family..." She turned her head to kiss Chris' cheek. "It's okay, baby. I get it. Bella let me know you were here. I'm sorry I just blurted it out so stupidly but I hate all these secrets." She looked between Lisa and Chris. "Is Bella okay?"
Chris gave a slight laugh. "Hey, you seriously have nothing on the serving I gave Bella. I fucked up," he told Serena, but he was glancing between the two girls. "I think I somehow misprojected my anger onto her and she copped it all. Luckily, she has the doctor mojo and took it all without question, but I... I... I threatened her. I told her she had to tell Rick or I wouldn't let her ever see him again." The guilt was evident in his tone and his shoulders slumped as he looked down at the floor. He really wasn't proud of what he did now it was all over and done with. He hadn't meant to take it all out on Bella, but her news had been a catalyst for screwing up his decision in his head just when he was sure, and he still wasn't sure what the hell he was supposed to do. "We should all get funny hats that say who we belong to," he added as an afterthought, the Dr C part of his brain still trying to claw its way through.
Lisa laughed softly as she reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze and then moved away to make them all a cup of tea. She wasn't about to comment about the threats. While she'd never had reason to threaten Dave's oncologist when he was sick, she did understand the misdirected anger. It could come out at any moment, aimed at anyone. She'd once yelled at a poor teenaged checkout operator and then promptly burst into tears on her. A family member suffering cancer always took its toll. "The hats are a good idea..."
Serena watched Lisa for a moment before she tugged on Chris' hand and forced him to sit down on one of the lounges. She rubbed her free hand against his arm and sighed. "Baby... She'll understand it's hard on you. She will. I'm just not sure you made the right move, but it's done now. Do you think she's really telling Rick?"
Chris wiped at his cheeks now that he had calmed down a little... for the moment. "I dunno. I guess she will. Don't worry, she gave back pretty much as good as she was getting. I just didn't like what she said to me, and it probably pissed me off even more to push me to make with the threats. Seriously think Rick would hate me forever if I tried to keep Bella from him in any capacity. I dunno how he will even take the news. I don't. As much of a bastard as I am when I say this, I cannot vouch for Rick's fatherly skills at all. But I just... I..." Okay, the tears were back and he choked up on the words. "She said, even if if he survives everything, his body'll take too much of a hit to be able to have kids anymore. If he doesn't get a kidney, he might die. Bella would be left up shit creek and the kid won't ever know its father." He looked over at Lisa, and then realised he had no clue if Dave was in the same sort of boat. They hadn't had a chance to talk about it in depth, but it seemed like a tragedy that someone like Dave wouldn't be able to have kids. "I'm sorry, Lis. This must suck for you. It's hell awkward, I know. You didn't need any of this shit on your first day."
Lisa managed to hold all three mugs as she brought them over and sat on the sofa across from Serena and Chris. "It's okay, C. I know it sucks for you and I really don't envy you. It was different with Dave. There wasn't any... ah, pregnancies. No secrets. Except from you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I wanted him to tell you, but I guess he just had his reasons. And you know what he's like. He gets so stubborn when he wants to be. This is maybe his one chance. Both of them get a chance... If Rick survives. Even if he doesn't, this is a piece of him that will survive and live on."
"Thank you," Serena said to Lisa as she leaned forward to pick up one of the mugs. She offered it to Chris with a small smile. "Here, baby. Drink it... Don't forget you're exhausted. All you've done is drive. You weren't even home for that long after we--after we stayed up. You need to take care of yourself as well as everyone else. As well as your brother. I know you thought you'd made the decision, but it's okay to take a little more time. I didn't mean to smash it all to pieces, but I thought you should have known. Lisa's right thought, this is a huge thing for both of them. A chance at something neither of them were supposed to have. Could have... Maybe you just need to wait and see how Rick will take it."
Chris held his hand up before he accepted the mug. "Just to make a point, there very much were secrets. I didn't see him damn well telling me he had cancer in a hurry. I can't help thinking what would have happened if he had died. I would have just got a phone call out of the blue, and I just..." He shook his head, feeling a chill creep over his skin at just the thought. "But I get it. I do. He said he had a real bad time of it, and I can't say how I would have reacted to it. Probably really badly if these past few weeks are anything to go by. I just can't friggin believe she's knocked up. Rick knocked a chick up. Do you know how many times I pulled the piss out of him for something like that. I always warned him he would do it, I would just have really preferred it wasn't like this and... and... I-I have to do it. I have to give him the kidney. I can't have a niece or nephew grow up without its dad. I couldn't live with myself if he died and I knew I could save him. I'll make him be a fucking good father if it kills me. I'll kill him with my bare hands if he doesn't finally step up."
Lisa just sat there and listened, hoping that now Chris had made this particular decision that he wouldn't regret it. It was becoming clearer that Chris must have originally decided against giving Rick his kidney. She let her own mug stay put for a moment as she folded her hands in her lap and leaned forward a little. "It's a big decision, Chris. There's still a lot of ramifications. You need to be sure, but I guess you don't really need a nurse giving Dr C the run down."
Serena felt the air rush out of her lungs as Chris said the words, and she squeezed his hand tightly. Truth was the operation was just as likely to go well as it was to turn bad. She wasn't ignorant to the fact that Chris had made his first decision somewhat because of what it meant for Serena. She looked at him, her eyes searching his face. "Whatever happens... You won't be alone. You'll never be alone, Chris. You and me all the way, remember? You jump, I jump."
Chris was suddenly highly nervous. He felt like he wanted to pee, throw up and cry all at once, which wouldn't be a pretty sight. Not the image he was hoping to project around two hot chicks at all. "Just stupid shit goes through your head, like whether you'll feel heavier on one side one organ down, even though I'm a damn surgeon and know crap like that his bullshit. I've never had an operation before, so I'm scared what the anesthetic will do. It can be fucked up shit when it wants to be. That's all the little things, without even stopping to let myself get drowned in the big things, but... that baby... it's life has to come before mine. I just know it has to. If something happens, hopefully I'll leave behind a really good looking niece or nephew..." The words caught in his throat again. It was hard enough for him to think he might not get to meet his own niece and nephew, to think that Rick might not meet his own kid was almost unfathomable for him.
"You're one of a kind, Chris. But I think this is the part that I leave you two to it. I won't breathe a word to Dr Watson yet. Not if you want to be the one to tell her, or talk to your brother first. I'm taking good care of him, I promise," Lisa assured Chris as she picked up her mug to take with her. She leaned down to kiss his cheek before winking at him. "It was good seeing you again, C. I'm just sorry it had to happen like this. Call if you need anything. And you know Dave's always going to be there for you."
Serena looked up at Lisa. "Thanks again for taking care of him. I really appreciate it, and it really was nice to meet you, Lisa. Now I can definitely see the family resemblance." She turned her attention back to Chris and ran her fingers through his hair, trying to tidy it up. "Surgery is a scary thing, there's no getting around it, but you'll be under the best care. You're at the best hospital. And you're doing the right thing for Rick and his baby. For his family... It's not going to be easy, and I won't tell you it'll be okay because I can't promise that, but whatever happens... You made the right decision."
Chris nodded and gave Lisa a tired smile. "Ditto on the needing anything. Don't let my appearance fool you, I can be quite helpful when I'm not in an emotional crisis," he joked. "I'll talk to Rick, but don't be thinking you need to make with the secrets with Dave. You can talk to him about this. I know he won't go spilling any secrets, unlike me." He gave her a small wave and watched her leave with a sigh, groaning a little as he buried his face in his hands. "Did I? I thought I already had made the right decision. I'm so tired, I just... want to be back home in bed with you. Everything just exploded in this horrible mess and I don't know if this is the right decision, but it feels like it's what I need to do."
"Which is what makes it the right decision," Serena told him softly. She rubbed her hand against his back and leaned forward to catch his gaze. "As much as I want to take you home, it's maybe to better to talk to Rick first before anything else. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here with you. Even if we have to push someone out of their hospital bed and claim it as ours while you get some sleep."
Chris sighed and started to rub his eyes slowly and lethargically. "I need to talk to him... I do. I need to at least admit to him that I was going to chicken out, but it wasn't anything to do with him. Not at the end of the day. I thought it might have been. I thought I might have been holding my kidney hostage to punish him and make him hurt how much he's made me hurt over the years, but it wasn't that. I was just angry with all that. It still hurts that I haven't had him around, and maybe I really won't believe he'll stick around after I give him a kidney, but it's probably something I need to see to believe. I wasn't going to do it because... I wanted us. You and me. I'm not ready to give that up yet."
Serena slipped her arms around him in a hug and held Chris tightly. "Neither am I. I'm really not, and it's why I wanted to ask you not to do this, but the truth is... It's not right. It's not right of me to ask you to choose me or your brother. I love you, and this is part of who you are. You save people, and now you can save your brother. I am in awe of how strong you are, Chris. Even if you don't feel like it. We'll find your brother, and you can talk to him. Just be honest with him, he'll get it."
"It's not even about Rick, or me, or anyone else now. Not anymore. It's about that kid, and to be honest, it deserves a chance at not having a screwed up childhood like we did. I'm not saying that Bella wouldn't manage it if she was on her own, but it has to be better if she's not on her own. And... Rick should have this chance to prove himself. Maybe he missed the boat with me, maybe it's always going to be hard with us, but this is different. I'll just... talk to him, and then I'll tell Bella she's got the green light. Only after I have a huge greasy taco, because I might not be able to eat much after they strip me of a kidney," Chris added as a sheepish after thought. "And I don't care what Proctor says, I want sex before I get put under, so we're going to have to find somewhere to deal with that too."
Word Count | 4,403
For now, he was going to do a damn good job mimicking it at least, and he was roughly trying to wipe his cheeks with the back of his hand as he tried to do a bolt from the oncology unit and probably the whole hospital. He had meant what he said when he gave Bella the ultimatum. He had his fill of all the damn bullshit, it was time to stop screwing around with everything and just deal with it all. If she didn't tell Rick, he would... and then he would have Rick transferred to the oncology unit in Orlando or Jacksonville. The past few months of secrets and concealing and dancing around with information and changes had taken it's toll and he finally - and inevitably - hit a brick wall with it all.
But he wasn't looking or concentrating when he veered around the corner to the elevators and he crashed roughly into someone rounding the corner from the opposite direction. They only narrowly missed knocking each other to the ground, but she had her stethoscope in her hand an in an effort not to fall over, had thrown her arm up and caught Chris firmly in the eye with the drum of it. "God-friggin-damnit! Can't anyone just give me a fucking brea--" He stopped abruptly when he realised who he had crashed into and the beginnings of his frustrated and still upset rant Round Two got cut off as he just looked like he wanted to dive out the nearest window all of a sudden.
Lisa had been trying her best to stay out of the way and just get back to work as she tried to forget Chris' outburst but it was hard. It was hard to unhear that your boss was having a patient's baby. Not only that, but the patient was the brother of your own brother's best friend. Lisa had gone from feeling like she'd just stumbled into a job at the best hospital around to feeling like she'd somehow wound up on the set of a soap opera. Now she bit back a curse as she slammed into another person and felt her stomach drop out as she realised it was Chris. She'd never had a problem with him apart from when she'd first met him and suffered at the hands of a Deleo-centred crush, but now she just really didn't want to have to try and talk to him while still trying to just act like she hadn't seen, or heard anything. She wasn't even sure if he'd known it was her in the office and she had been hoping to getaway with it.
As she saw the expression of his face though, she realised he had noticed it was her. "I'm so sorry, Chris. Are you okay? Are you bleeding?"
The eye was stinging and felt like it was watering enough to create a small tidal wave, but he took his hand away to look at his fingers, finding no blood there. "No... it's fine, don't worry about it. It's my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going." He was starting to wonder if he was ever going to be the cool and confident guy he had been just a few weeks ago, but it seemed to be getting more and more unlikely as the days passed. The morning started out good. He made his decision and then there was amazing sex just for the sake of it. If the news hadn't been dropped on him, he would probably still be at home in bed naked with Serena and a small sob almost escaped when he realised how much he wanted that to be, but that was shot in the ass now. "I- I didn't even realise you were in town, let alone working here. Dave didn't say. But then, I haven't had the chance to see him much these past few weeks..."
"He's been working his ass off. Getting three hours sleep. I haven't even seen him, and he's my brother. But then I did kind of just drop it on him. It was supposed to be a surprise." Lisa hooked her stethoscope around her neck to get it out of the way before she tried to get a look at Chris' face. She scrunched her nose up in concentration. "So, you know... surprise! Just what you always wanted. Dorky little Lisa back to follow you around like a bad smell."
"The life of Alpha," Chris commented and cleared his throat. "I dunno, doesn't following constitute actually coming at someone from behind and not in front?" he joked, but there wasn't much punch behind it and if he smirked, anyone would have blinked and missed it. "He knows you're here right? Because seriously, you ask me to keep any secrets, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself, in the nicest possible way."
Lisa arched an eyebrow. "I missed you too, Chris. It's so nice to see you again. Yes, he knows I'm here. I told him online. It's been hard enough to get him on the phone. I was just hoping he'd find it eventually. You don't have to keep any of my secrets. I don't even have any. Not like... Nothing. No secrets. I don't know about any secrets, I swear."
Chris tilted his head and pierce her with a gaze. "Oh, now I know you're just lying. I know you heard what I said when I went into the office." He knew there was a history there, and also that she mostly knew him as C, the cool and chilled guy with a wicked sense of humour. Now she was getting C's stressed and flat alter-ego. He was even there in crappy old trackpants, shoes without socks and probably still had something akin to fuck hair. Serena always played with his hair when they had sex, and he had come to be more than used to that. "That is information that could ruin Bella's career."
"Somehow I don't think you were there to exactly save her career," Lisa found falling out of her mouth before she could stop and process her words. She held her hands up in a show of surrender and sighed. "Look, I'm not going to say anything, okay? I like it here. I like Dr Watson. This is my first day, C. My first day. I don't want anything messing that up. As far as I'm concerned I didn't hear anything. It's between you, Dr Watson, and your brother. But you should know he's getting worse. The swelling in his groin has grown, and he'll have to go on dialysis very soon so he can have the next round of chemo." Lisa looked over him quietly, his appearance not bothering her. She'd probably looked worse while she was looking after Dave. "He was getting a fever overnight, it wasn't a UTI."
"Just my brother's life," Chris mumbled in return and was back to rubbing his stingy eye again. His first reaction was to wonder why the hell Bella hadn't told him these changes, until he remembered he hardly gave her chance to tell him anything being so in her face. Now he had reigned in his emotions a little, he felt like a giant dick for doing what he did. He looked at her with a small shake of his head in disbelief before he cupped his hands over his face, really trying not to start crying again. He had to talk to Serena, and he wanted a hug. At this point, he would even settle for one off Proctor he felt like such shit. Kidney transplant, or Rick was on dialysis and more chemo... and then the clock was ticking. Dialysis wouldn't keep him alive forever. "I feel sick," he added with a heavy exhalation.
Lisa hooked her arm under Chris' and steered him in the direction of the doctors' lounge. He was a doctor, right? He could still go in there. He needed to go in there. She was just hoping all the other doctors were busy so they could have the room to themselves. She wondered if she should offer to call his girlfriend but she glanced up as the elevators dinged and saw a petite blonde come out of them wearing what looked like boyfriend clothes. A man's t-shirt, man's unzipped hoodie and even a pair of men's sweatpants. Lisa watched and waited for the blonde to show some kind of recognition towards Chris and when she saw it, she nodded her head to indicate for her to meet them at the end of the hall.
Serena had let out a sigh of relief at seeing Chris being guided by a nurse, and one that seemed to understand that Serena was there for him. The brunette was looking vaguely familiar for a reason but she couldn't quite put her finger on why. All she knew was that she had never dressed so quickly after receiving a text message. Chris' clothes seemed destined to get a work out and Serena had borrowed them when putting her own on seemed too much like a chore. It was a habit she was falling into a lot these days. "Chris," she murmured when she followed her boyfriend and the nurse into the doctors' lounge. Thankfully it really was devoid of anyone else and she just wrapped her arms around him when the brunette stepped back.
Chris had been to caught up in trying to figure out kidney versus baby in his screwed brain to even realise Serena had arrived. But as soon as he realised, his breath left him in a rush. "Oh thank god," he said with a small sob and wrapped his arms tightly around her in the hug. He really didn't want to let go and he buried his face in her shoulder to just try and steal some sort of... something she had to help him deal with this. He pulled back a little and kissed her, only to break it off and start hugging her again. "I'm sorry about this morning, babe, I know I freaked out. I'm getting good at that lately, trust me." He did manage to somehow collect himself and pulled out of the embrace again, but he kept a tight grip on Serena's hand. "I should... this is Lisa. Bella's new nurse that I totally screwed up in front of too, but yeah, she's Dave's sister."
Lisa offered a smile as she gave Serena a small wave. Now she could see what Bella had been talking about. The two young doctors really did have a connection that it was impossible not to notice. And Serena was definitely pretty. She also obviously cared about Chris deeply. "That's me. Lisa Tyler, nurse and Dave's sister. I've heard a lot about you, Serena. All good I promise. It's nice to meet you."
Serena returned Lisa's smile. "Nice to meet you, too. I'm glad to see Dave's family finally join us in Miami. In fact, everyone's siblings seem to be coming to visit lately. One big family..." She turned her head to kiss Chris' cheek. "It's okay, baby. I get it. Bella let me know you were here. I'm sorry I just blurted it out so stupidly but I hate all these secrets." She looked between Lisa and Chris. "Is Bella okay?"
Chris gave a slight laugh. "Hey, you seriously have nothing on the serving I gave Bella. I fucked up," he told Serena, but he was glancing between the two girls. "I think I somehow misprojected my anger onto her and she copped it all. Luckily, she has the doctor mojo and took it all without question, but I... I... I threatened her. I told her she had to tell Rick or I wouldn't let her ever see him again." The guilt was evident in his tone and his shoulders slumped as he looked down at the floor. He really wasn't proud of what he did now it was all over and done with. He hadn't meant to take it all out on Bella, but her news had been a catalyst for screwing up his decision in his head just when he was sure, and he still wasn't sure what the hell he was supposed to do. "We should all get funny hats that say who we belong to," he added as an afterthought, the Dr C part of his brain still trying to claw its way through.
Lisa laughed softly as she reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze and then moved away to make them all a cup of tea. She wasn't about to comment about the threats. While she'd never had reason to threaten Dave's oncologist when he was sick, she did understand the misdirected anger. It could come out at any moment, aimed at anyone. She'd once yelled at a poor teenaged checkout operator and then promptly burst into tears on her. A family member suffering cancer always took its toll. "The hats are a good idea..."
Serena watched Lisa for a moment before she tugged on Chris' hand and forced him to sit down on one of the lounges. She rubbed her free hand against his arm and sighed. "Baby... She'll understand it's hard on you. She will. I'm just not sure you made the right move, but it's done now. Do you think she's really telling Rick?"
Chris wiped at his cheeks now that he had calmed down a little... for the moment. "I dunno. I guess she will. Don't worry, she gave back pretty much as good as she was getting. I just didn't like what she said to me, and it probably pissed me off even more to push me to make with the threats. Seriously think Rick would hate me forever if I tried to keep Bella from him in any capacity. I dunno how he will even take the news. I don't. As much of a bastard as I am when I say this, I cannot vouch for Rick's fatherly skills at all. But I just... I..." Okay, the tears were back and he choked up on the words. "She said, even if if he survives everything, his body'll take too much of a hit to be able to have kids anymore. If he doesn't get a kidney, he might die. Bella would be left up shit creek and the kid won't ever know its father." He looked over at Lisa, and then realised he had no clue if Dave was in the same sort of boat. They hadn't had a chance to talk about it in depth, but it seemed like a tragedy that someone like Dave wouldn't be able to have kids. "I'm sorry, Lis. This must suck for you. It's hell awkward, I know. You didn't need any of this shit on your first day."
Lisa managed to hold all three mugs as she brought them over and sat on the sofa across from Serena and Chris. "It's okay, C. I know it sucks for you and I really don't envy you. It was different with Dave. There wasn't any... ah, pregnancies. No secrets. Except from you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I wanted him to tell you, but I guess he just had his reasons. And you know what he's like. He gets so stubborn when he wants to be. This is maybe his one chance. Both of them get a chance... If Rick survives. Even if he doesn't, this is a piece of him that will survive and live on."
"Thank you," Serena said to Lisa as she leaned forward to pick up one of the mugs. She offered it to Chris with a small smile. "Here, baby. Drink it... Don't forget you're exhausted. All you've done is drive. You weren't even home for that long after we--after we stayed up. You need to take care of yourself as well as everyone else. As well as your brother. I know you thought you'd made the decision, but it's okay to take a little more time. I didn't mean to smash it all to pieces, but I thought you should have known. Lisa's right thought, this is a huge thing for both of them. A chance at something neither of them were supposed to have. Could have... Maybe you just need to wait and see how Rick will take it."
Chris held his hand up before he accepted the mug. "Just to make a point, there very much were secrets. I didn't see him damn well telling me he had cancer in a hurry. I can't help thinking what would have happened if he had died. I would have just got a phone call out of the blue, and I just..." He shook his head, feeling a chill creep over his skin at just the thought. "But I get it. I do. He said he had a real bad time of it, and I can't say how I would have reacted to it. Probably really badly if these past few weeks are anything to go by. I just can't friggin believe she's knocked up. Rick knocked a chick up. Do you know how many times I pulled the piss out of him for something like that. I always warned him he would do it, I would just have really preferred it wasn't like this and... and... I-I have to do it. I have to give him the kidney. I can't have a niece or nephew grow up without its dad. I couldn't live with myself if he died and I knew I could save him. I'll make him be a fucking good father if it kills me. I'll kill him with my bare hands if he doesn't finally step up."
Lisa just sat there and listened, hoping that now Chris had made this particular decision that he wouldn't regret it. It was becoming clearer that Chris must have originally decided against giving Rick his kidney. She let her own mug stay put for a moment as she folded her hands in her lap and leaned forward a little. "It's a big decision, Chris. There's still a lot of ramifications. You need to be sure, but I guess you don't really need a nurse giving Dr C the run down."
Serena felt the air rush out of her lungs as Chris said the words, and she squeezed his hand tightly. Truth was the operation was just as likely to go well as it was to turn bad. She wasn't ignorant to the fact that Chris had made his first decision somewhat because of what it meant for Serena. She looked at him, her eyes searching his face. "Whatever happens... You won't be alone. You'll never be alone, Chris. You and me all the way, remember? You jump, I jump."
Chris was suddenly highly nervous. He felt like he wanted to pee, throw up and cry all at once, which wouldn't be a pretty sight. Not the image he was hoping to project around two hot chicks at all. "Just stupid shit goes through your head, like whether you'll feel heavier on one side one organ down, even though I'm a damn surgeon and know crap like that his bullshit. I've never had an operation before, so I'm scared what the anesthetic will do. It can be fucked up shit when it wants to be. That's all the little things, without even stopping to let myself get drowned in the big things, but... that baby... it's life has to come before mine. I just know it has to. If something happens, hopefully I'll leave behind a really good looking niece or nephew..." The words caught in his throat again. It was hard enough for him to think he might not get to meet his own niece and nephew, to think that Rick might not meet his own kid was almost unfathomable for him.
"You're one of a kind, Chris. But I think this is the part that I leave you two to it. I won't breathe a word to Dr Watson yet. Not if you want to be the one to tell her, or talk to your brother first. I'm taking good care of him, I promise," Lisa assured Chris as she picked up her mug to take with her. She leaned down to kiss his cheek before winking at him. "It was good seeing you again, C. I'm just sorry it had to happen like this. Call if you need anything. And you know Dave's always going to be there for you."
Serena looked up at Lisa. "Thanks again for taking care of him. I really appreciate it, and it really was nice to meet you, Lisa. Now I can definitely see the family resemblance." She turned her attention back to Chris and ran her fingers through his hair, trying to tidy it up. "Surgery is a scary thing, there's no getting around it, but you'll be under the best care. You're at the best hospital. And you're doing the right thing for Rick and his baby. For his family... It's not going to be easy, and I won't tell you it'll be okay because I can't promise that, but whatever happens... You made the right decision."
Chris nodded and gave Lisa a tired smile. "Ditto on the needing anything. Don't let my appearance fool you, I can be quite helpful when I'm not in an emotional crisis," he joked. "I'll talk to Rick, but don't be thinking you need to make with the secrets with Dave. You can talk to him about this. I know he won't go spilling any secrets, unlike me." He gave her a small wave and watched her leave with a sigh, groaning a little as he buried his face in his hands. "Did I? I thought I already had made the right decision. I'm so tired, I just... want to be back home in bed with you. Everything just exploded in this horrible mess and I don't know if this is the right decision, but it feels like it's what I need to do."
"Which is what makes it the right decision," Serena told him softly. She rubbed her hand against his back and leaned forward to catch his gaze. "As much as I want to take you home, it's maybe to better to talk to Rick first before anything else. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here with you. Even if we have to push someone out of their hospital bed and claim it as ours while you get some sleep."
Chris sighed and started to rub his eyes slowly and lethargically. "I need to talk to him... I do. I need to at least admit to him that I was going to chicken out, but it wasn't anything to do with him. Not at the end of the day. I thought it might have been. I thought I might have been holding my kidney hostage to punish him and make him hurt how much he's made me hurt over the years, but it wasn't that. I was just angry with all that. It still hurts that I haven't had him around, and maybe I really won't believe he'll stick around after I give him a kidney, but it's probably something I need to see to believe. I wasn't going to do it because... I wanted us. You and me. I'm not ready to give that up yet."
Serena slipped her arms around him in a hug and held Chris tightly. "Neither am I. I'm really not, and it's why I wanted to ask you not to do this, but the truth is... It's not right. It's not right of me to ask you to choose me or your brother. I love you, and this is part of who you are. You save people, and now you can save your brother. I am in awe of how strong you are, Chris. Even if you don't feel like it. We'll find your brother, and you can talk to him. Just be honest with him, he'll get it."
"It's not even about Rick, or me, or anyone else now. Not anymore. It's about that kid, and to be honest, it deserves a chance at not having a screwed up childhood like we did. I'm not saying that Bella wouldn't manage it if she was on her own, but it has to be better if she's not on her own. And... Rick should have this chance to prove himself. Maybe he missed the boat with me, maybe it's always going to be hard with us, but this is different. I'll just... talk to him, and then I'll tell Bella she's got the green light. Only after I have a huge greasy taco, because I might not be able to eat much after they strip me of a kidney," Chris added as a sheepish after thought. "And I don't care what Proctor says, I want sex before I get put under, so we're going to have to find somewhere to deal with that too."
Word Count | 4,403