The Sudden Stop
The houseguest I had earlier this year has been comfortably living in her own place for several months now. She had visited her parents for Christmas and came back Sunday night. Monday we met up for lunch, talked about how the visit went and how insane her mother was and then parted ways.
About two hours later she called me telling me that her mother had died. It was sudden, completely unexpected, and quite a jolt for my friend. There are a lot of conflicting emotions for her. The woman was not the greatest of mothers and due to her projecting her own inadequacies upon her daughter had left her with a plethora of issues herself. But she did love her. She did it the wrong way. She did a lot of wrong things. But she did love her daughter.
When I got the news I kicked into auto pilot. I kept her on the phone with me and talking while I got dressed and Uriel and I drove to her place, picked her up, and brought her to our place. She'll probably camp on the futon until she feels better, and that's alright. I convinced her to kennel her cats so they're safe and being minded after and her boyfriend will be here on Sunday to drive her to the funeral and back.
She's going through a lot of emotions that I only really understand shades of. I've lost a parent, but there was distance and the acceptance that there would never be closure. She had literally seen the woman the day before and suddenly this happens. I'm glad she's here and not in that little apartment of hers that we brought her in from in nowheresville Tennessee. I'm glad she sees our house as a place of safety and calm. But I regret the hell she is going through right now. Doubly so because of all the conflicting emotions that range between regret and relief and all the things between.
Hopefully 2016 will be a little more stable for her than 2015 was.
About two hours later she called me telling me that her mother had died. It was sudden, completely unexpected, and quite a jolt for my friend. There are a lot of conflicting emotions for her. The woman was not the greatest of mothers and due to her projecting her own inadequacies upon her daughter had left her with a plethora of issues herself. But she did love her. She did it the wrong way. She did a lot of wrong things. But she did love her daughter.
When I got the news I kicked into auto pilot. I kept her on the phone with me and talking while I got dressed and Uriel and I drove to her place, picked her up, and brought her to our place. She'll probably camp on the futon until she feels better, and that's alright. I convinced her to kennel her cats so they're safe and being minded after and her boyfriend will be here on Sunday to drive her to the funeral and back.
She's going through a lot of emotions that I only really understand shades of. I've lost a parent, but there was distance and the acceptance that there would never be closure. She had literally seen the woman the day before and suddenly this happens. I'm glad she's here and not in that little apartment of hers that we brought her in from in nowheresville Tennessee. I'm glad she sees our house as a place of safety and calm. But I regret the hell she is going through right now. Doubly so because of all the conflicting emotions that range between regret and relief and all the things between.
Hopefully 2016 will be a little more stable for her than 2015 was.