Tragi-Com
This is what life is like
when all you can do
is trust medical professionals
who aren't listening to you
to not listen to you,
yet
you must listen to them
and follow their instructions
to the best of your ability
while also trying to listen
to your SELF as if you mattered.
AND IT IS HARD GOING, YO!
PART ONE:
Once upon a time I was 19
and hospitalized for 4 days
due to an acute asthma attack.
2 days in ICU.
2 days recovering.
This was my shortest
and also my last hospital stay
for my asthma, by the way!
WOO!
Day 4, morning.
Early rounds are being done,
I expect to leave that afternoon.
I am given my morning IV injections
which is in my elbow joint.
The pain starts as a cold burn...
which turns into a hot burn...
traveling up my arm
*fast*.
I tell the nurse, something is wrong
my arm is **very** uncomfortable,
my upper arm feels like a spreading burn
*on the inside*
and I am pretty surprised by it.
I've had *a lot* of hospital visits
and IVs
and it was unusual.
The nurse, she feels the arm itself.
Fine.
She notes the description
and medication on my notes,
she says that perhaps I am developing a reaction
to Penicillin.
I suppose that is a possibility,
but I tell her
that what it feels *most like*
is there is something wrong with the IV itself.
Usually I get a new IV on day 3,..
but generally, I stay 5 days.
Being a curious child with A LOT OF HOSPITAL TIME
I had had it explained to me
many times
that they really do need to set a new IV
even though I already have one
that is working "perfectly fine"
except that there is some light discomfort
during fast injections.
I asked if maybe I needed a new IV.
She inspected the IV,
admitted I was probably right.
But that they had figured
with me leaving today,
it would probably last.
The pain died down as she rubbed my arm
and worked the pain through the shoulder joint lightly.
From what I remember,
I got the rest of my shots through the skin
my IV was removed within a couple hours
and as the doctor (not my doctor.. but a floor doctor I assumed)
gave me my instructions before discharge.
"You will want to remember to avoid Penicillin from now on."
I tell him the story, and explain what the likely case was.
"That's possible. However, better safe than sorry.
Medication allergies can start small, or balloon surprisingly,
with how often you are hospitalized,
and how many medications you are on
you will want to everyone to keep track
that you MAY be allergic to Penicillin."
Um, okay doc.
Gotcha.
So for the last 20 years,
I just tell all my medical peeps
I'm allergic to Penicillin.
It's not the 1950s, and WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY
so it's not a big deal
USUALLY*.
PART DEUX
I am 22.
But,
When I was 16,
my front tooth cracked in half.
It stayed that way AWHILE
until we wrangled up a few hundred dollars
to get it filled.
BECAUSE AMERICA.
Now, at 22... that large
half-a-tooth filling
up the front of my mouth
cracks out.
Plus, there is an infection.
Dentist recommends root canal
and crown.
After a couple thousand dollars
are wrangled up
(THANKS GRANDMA)
I get a root canal, and crown.
However, I still have a periodic abscess
above that tooth.
It just comes and goes.
No pain, I had a fuck'n root canal
but... its *uncomfortable*
because it swells up,
and I know it's... like..
NOT GOOD, right?
I ask my dentist.
He gives me antibiotics
(non penicillin-based)
and I let him know that it
only temporarily kills the problem.
It keeps coming back.
He says he can give me another root canal,
if I'd like.
He said that.
Well, HE said it, so it was more like,
"I can give you another root canal,
if that's what you'd LIKE."
with a flat
absent tone.
Um..... nevermind.
Guess I will just... be infected
for now?
Ok! Thanks!
PART TRACE
At 28.
I have a new dentist.
He points out the tooth abscess.
I tell him my tale.
He says, "We should really get in
because that is a failed root canal.
He should have done it again for you, for free."
That DOES explain my other dentist's tone
as if I were bothering him
by worrying about a recurring tooth infection
he was probably responsible to solve,
but knowing I was naive
and easier to get OUT of his office,
than INTO it.
Anyways.
My expensive crown is drilled,
I undergo a root canal
and the experience of
nitrous AND halcyon
and it was... pretty cool.
It is the only time where I was at the dentist,
AND OKAY WITH IT.
Ever.
But afterwards my best friend
took me to get Frozen Yogurt.. to make me feel better.
I did not know how FROZEN YOGURT **WORKED**.
I didn't know how cups worked.
I didn't know what money WAS, except that it was called "money".
Halcyon is less fun, when trying to join the real world,
it seems.
Great for escaping the mental terror of dentist visits
but bad for higher brain functions.
ANYWAYS.... so
that tooth... has broken in half.
Twice.
It has also had a root canal.
Twice.
My dentist gave me antibiotics to run
for the root canal healing.
Not penicillin, because I have to tell everyone
I am allergic to it,
of course.
The infection comes back.
Same as ever.
I tell my dentist.
He is surprised and he says,
in a tone much like the dentist before him:
"Well, if a root canal doesn't take care of it,
let alone, two.. we'll have to extract it.
I can do that for you, if you'd like."
Repeat chorus:
Um..... nevermind.
Guess I will just... be infected
for now?
Ok! Thanks!
PART HAIRS
So, now I am 36,
and that tooth
that has been through SO MUCH
decided to JUMP OUTTA MY MOUTH
like a kid on a rope swing.
I am surprised/not-surprised.
The infection above it,
has been going on for over 10 years.
But it stayed in for the whole ride!
GOOD JOB, TOOTH!
You really stuck it out!
During a consult with a new dentist
(because I have Poor People's insurance
ie: "State insurance" and this means
you are passed from practice to practice
as they all "take turns" taking State Patients)
because my tooth took a dive.
Me and New Dentist talk about all the options
and he notes:
"You have an infection above it."
Yes, yes I do.
He nods. And goes on to other questions.
The hygienist comes in.
Does a last check of me.
"You have an infection above that stump,
did you know?"
Why yes, yes I did know.
I am ASSUMING that when the root is extracted,
it will be treated then....?
I half-ask her to support my supposition.
"Oh yes. But, it might help if you were on anti-biotics
before the extraction, to help calm it down."
I thought that was AN EXCELLENT idea in my mind.
I knew it wouldn't STOP the infection,
but anti-biotics, before the surgery
seem like a good way to get a good start on it.
"Would you like me to have the doctor write you a prescription?"
Yes. Yes I would.
She comes back, "It says you are allergic to penicillin,
but you're fine with amoxicillin, right?
"Um,.... I will just repeat that I am allergic to penicillin.
I don't usually GET amoxicillin, so... I don't really know!"
She hands me a prescription for Amoxicillin.
I know it is a common anti-biotic,
But I also know it is a common anti-biotic that I haven't been prescribed
IN A VERY LONG TIME.
So.... I WONDER.
I go to the pharmacy to fill the Prescription.
The pharmacist calls me over.
"We have on record that you are allergic to penicillin,
however you were prescribed amoxicillin, which is pencillin-based.
What is your penicillin reaction?
I TELL HER PART ONE of my story.
She goes:
"Hmmm,.... well if your reactions were not hives, rash, or trouble breathing/swallowing,
then... you shouldn't be too worried.
Would you like this prescription?"
I consider repeatin chorus:
Um..... nevermind.
Guess I will just... be infected
for now?
Ok! Thanks!
But then I say,
"Sure, I guess I'll take it."
Feeling an uncomfortable wonder.
Do I really trust 19 year old me,
that I am INDEED NOT ALLERGIC to penicillin?
Just so I don't have to correct new dentist
and his assistant
who is clearly not thinking?
But honestly,
I don't think ANYONE really cares
which offers me plenty of company in apathy.
But also, I am wondering:
What if penicillin
was just the -in I needed
to cure this ancient infection?
PART HEX
So:
I took the penicillin.
1: I am not allergic to penicillin.
2: The root abscess is boisterous and not even annoyed by the pencillin.
3: My gut is half-water.
4: My broken tooth is still waiting for extraction.
5: That is all I know.
These conundrums
of who is the authority,
who to listen to,
who to trust,
who is listening to you... like... at all.
Deciding to NOT listen to a doctor from the past,
and instead to listen to a doctor who is clearly making a mistake,
because I trust myself more,
than either of them.
Not smart, of course.
Lucky for me I'm not actually allergic to penicillin,
eh eh??
Otherwise this probably would have been a different story...
when all you can do
is trust medical professionals
who aren't listening to you
to not listen to you,
yet
you must listen to them
and follow their instructions
to the best of your ability
while also trying to listen
to your SELF as if you mattered.
AND IT IS HARD GOING, YO!
PART ONE:
Once upon a time I was 19
and hospitalized for 4 days
due to an acute asthma attack.
2 days in ICU.
2 days recovering.
This was my shortest
and also my last hospital stay
for my asthma, by the way!
WOO!
Day 4, morning.
Early rounds are being done,
I expect to leave that afternoon.
I am given my morning IV injections
which is in my elbow joint.
The pain starts as a cold burn...
which turns into a hot burn...
traveling up my arm
*fast*.
I tell the nurse, something is wrong
my arm is **very** uncomfortable,
my upper arm feels like a spreading burn
*on the inside*
and I am pretty surprised by it.
I've had *a lot* of hospital visits
and IVs
and it was unusual.
The nurse, she feels the arm itself.
Fine.
She notes the description
and medication on my notes,
she says that perhaps I am developing a reaction
to Penicillin.
I suppose that is a possibility,
but I tell her
that what it feels *most like*
is there is something wrong with the IV itself.
Usually I get a new IV on day 3,..
but generally, I stay 5 days.
Being a curious child with A LOT OF HOSPITAL TIME
I had had it explained to me
many times
that they really do need to set a new IV
even though I already have one
that is working "perfectly fine"
except that there is some light discomfort
during fast injections.
I asked if maybe I needed a new IV.
She inspected the IV,
admitted I was probably right.
But that they had figured
with me leaving today,
it would probably last.
The pain died down as she rubbed my arm
and worked the pain through the shoulder joint lightly.
From what I remember,
I got the rest of my shots through the skin
my IV was removed within a couple hours
and as the doctor (not my doctor.. but a floor doctor I assumed)
gave me my instructions before discharge.
"You will want to remember to avoid Penicillin from now on."
I tell him the story, and explain what the likely case was.
"That's possible. However, better safe than sorry.
Medication allergies can start small, or balloon surprisingly,
with how often you are hospitalized,
and how many medications you are on
you will want to everyone to keep track
that you MAY be allergic to Penicillin."
Um, okay doc.
Gotcha.
So for the last 20 years,
I just tell all my medical peeps
I'm allergic to Penicillin.
It's not the 1950s, and WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY
so it's not a big deal
USUALLY*.
PART DEUX
I am 22.
But,
When I was 16,
my front tooth cracked in half.
It stayed that way AWHILE
until we wrangled up a few hundred dollars
to get it filled.
BECAUSE AMERICA.
Now, at 22... that large
half-a-tooth filling
up the front of my mouth
cracks out.
Plus, there is an infection.
Dentist recommends root canal
and crown.
After a couple thousand dollars
are wrangled up
(THANKS GRANDMA)
I get a root canal, and crown.
However, I still have a periodic abscess
above that tooth.
It just comes and goes.
No pain, I had a fuck'n root canal
but... its *uncomfortable*
because it swells up,
and I know it's... like..
NOT GOOD, right?
I ask my dentist.
He gives me antibiotics
(non penicillin-based)
and I let him know that it
only temporarily kills the problem.
It keeps coming back.
He says he can give me another root canal,
if I'd like.
He said that.
Well, HE said it, so it was more like,
"I can give you another root canal,
if that's what you'd LIKE."
with a flat
absent tone.
Um..... nevermind.
Guess I will just... be infected
for now?
Ok! Thanks!
PART TRACE
At 28.
I have a new dentist.
He points out the tooth abscess.
I tell him my tale.
He says, "We should really get in
because that is a failed root canal.
He should have done it again for you, for free."
That DOES explain my other dentist's tone
as if I were bothering him
by worrying about a recurring tooth infection
he was probably responsible to solve,
but knowing I was naive
and easier to get OUT of his office,
than INTO it.
Anyways.
My expensive crown is drilled,
I undergo a root canal
and the experience of
nitrous AND halcyon
and it was... pretty cool.
It is the only time where I was at the dentist,
AND OKAY WITH IT.
Ever.
But afterwards my best friend
took me to get Frozen Yogurt.. to make me feel better.
I did not know how FROZEN YOGURT **WORKED**.
I didn't know how cups worked.
I didn't know what money WAS, except that it was called "money".
Halcyon is less fun, when trying to join the real world,
it seems.
Great for escaping the mental terror of dentist visits
but bad for higher brain functions.
ANYWAYS.... so
that tooth... has broken in half.
Twice.
It has also had a root canal.
Twice.
My dentist gave me antibiotics to run
for the root canal healing.
Not penicillin, because I have to tell everyone
I am allergic to it,
of course.
The infection comes back.
Same as ever.
I tell my dentist.
He is surprised and he says,
in a tone much like the dentist before him:
"Well, if a root canal doesn't take care of it,
let alone, two.. we'll have to extract it.
I can do that for you, if you'd like."
Repeat chorus:
Um..... nevermind.
Guess I will just... be infected
for now?
Ok! Thanks!
PART HAIRS
So, now I am 36,
and that tooth
that has been through SO MUCH
decided to JUMP OUTTA MY MOUTH
like a kid on a rope swing.
I am surprised/not-surprised.
The infection above it,
has been going on for over 10 years.
But it stayed in for the whole ride!
GOOD JOB, TOOTH!
You really stuck it out!
During a consult with a new dentist
(because I have Poor People's insurance
ie: "State insurance" and this means
you are passed from practice to practice
as they all "take turns" taking State Patients)
because my tooth took a dive.
Me and New Dentist talk about all the options
and he notes:
"You have an infection above it."
Yes, yes I do.
He nods. And goes on to other questions.
The hygienist comes in.
Does a last check of me.
"You have an infection above that stump,
did you know?"
Why yes, yes I did know.
I am ASSUMING that when the root is extracted,
it will be treated then....?
I half-ask her to support my supposition.
"Oh yes. But, it might help if you were on anti-biotics
before the extraction, to help calm it down."
I thought that was AN EXCELLENT idea in my mind.
I knew it wouldn't STOP the infection,
but anti-biotics, before the surgery
seem like a good way to get a good start on it.
"Would you like me to have the doctor write you a prescription?"
Yes. Yes I would.
She comes back, "It says you are allergic to penicillin,
but you're fine with amoxicillin, right?
"Um,.... I will just repeat that I am allergic to penicillin.
I don't usually GET amoxicillin, so... I don't really know!"
She hands me a prescription for Amoxicillin.
I know it is a common anti-biotic,
But I also know it is a common anti-biotic that I haven't been prescribed
IN A VERY LONG TIME.
So.... I WONDER.
I go to the pharmacy to fill the Prescription.
The pharmacist calls me over.
"We have on record that you are allergic to penicillin,
however you were prescribed amoxicillin, which is pencillin-based.
What is your penicillin reaction?
I TELL HER PART ONE of my story.
She goes:
"Hmmm,.... well if your reactions were not hives, rash, or trouble breathing/swallowing,
then... you shouldn't be too worried.
Would you like this prescription?"
I consider repeatin chorus:
Um..... nevermind.
Guess I will just... be infected
for now?
Ok! Thanks!
But then I say,
"Sure, I guess I'll take it."
Feeling an uncomfortable wonder.
Do I really trust 19 year old me,
that I am INDEED NOT ALLERGIC to penicillin?
Just so I don't have to correct new dentist
and his assistant
who is clearly not thinking?
But honestly,
I don't think ANYONE really cares
which offers me plenty of company in apathy.
But also, I am wondering:
What if penicillin
was just the -in I needed
to cure this ancient infection?
PART HEX
So:
I took the penicillin.
1: I am not allergic to penicillin.
2: The root abscess is boisterous and not even annoyed by the pencillin.
3: My gut is half-water.
4: My broken tooth is still waiting for extraction.
5: That is all I know.
These conundrums
of who is the authority,
who to listen to,
who to trust,
who is listening to you... like... at all.
Deciding to NOT listen to a doctor from the past,
and instead to listen to a doctor who is clearly making a mistake,
because I trust myself more,
than either of them.
Not smart, of course.
Lucky for me I'm not actually allergic to penicillin,
eh eh??
Otherwise this probably would have been a different story...