Awwww,.... shit.
One of the less offensive comments on some random youtube video:
"I do rate the "fuckability" of almost every woman I see for the first time. what of it? since when is being a heterosexual man a shameful thing?"
/facepalm
This afternoon I was PLENTY productive... for a person who called in sick to work.
Spending a day making calls, getting the side yard plowed, elevating my knee with a hot water bottle on it, and watching youtube videos is an okay day... ESPECIALLY for a Monday, even though it would have been cool to march in the MLK parade or simply take the day off because federal holiday celebrating civil rights struggles and/or achievements should be a holiday from fancy-business job....
BUT IT ISN'T.
Anyways.
Watched too much "Get Doug With High" and "Daily Show", and interviews with John Stewart, Colbert, and Louis CK.
Because for 3 more days it is still a free country.
Watched "Anomalisa" because I heart Charlie Kaufman movies,... and it was just as awkward and sad as I was told it was going to be. However, they did not warn me about claymation sad man cunnilingus and there are SOME THINGS that you have just never seen before... and it really makes you stop and go, "Hmmm,.. never seen THAT before..." but, of course that is 25% of the point of watching Kaufman movies in the first place, amiright?
I wanna get back to that "fuckability" comment. I gotta.
The topic of the video was women comedians
"comediennes", if you will
because OBVIOUSLY comedy is a gender-specific word.
O wait. Sorry.
I should restate that.
Obviously comedy is a gender-specific WORLD.
My mistake.
Anyways, it is EXACTLY that sentiment that nearly
pushed me over the edge back when I was
attempting to find straight males
I could stand to talk with
let alone, consider fucking/dating.
This THING where I was judged as a female
in their eyes/fantasies
before they decided whether I was worthy of
their time/attention
let alone
respect/consideration.
I HATED THIS PART MOST
of ALL PARTS of my gender.
AND I BLEED EVERY MONTH, motherfuckers!
Ok,.. now I am on Mirena, and I DON'T bleed every month
BUT THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT!
That of all the shitty parts of being female
how females are TREATED by a vast majority
of men who even lay eyes on us.
Men are subjected to this, too.
In a way.
But there is a reason women are a "minority class"
even though we are a physical and literal numerical majority.
Because sociological minority v. majority is about
power *not* population.
My least favorite part of being female has long been
how being treated like a female FEELS like.
I assume people with dark skin *especially*
know what I mean.
Dark-skinned women?
Fuggedaboutit!
Where the power structure,
personified by most individuals you meet
size you up
and decide
*exactly* how interested they are
in putting energy
into the experience of meeting you.
I'm a fat lady,
Always have been.
I am also very friendly,
charming, and quick-witted.
I am comfortable with people,
at ease with myself,
and confident in my actions.
Therefore people have to TRY to ignore me,
if I want them to see me.
I've always had plenty of dating luck,
I'm not complaining about that.
My issue, with the whole treatment
was straight men who only related to me
through their attraction level to me.
The 'Friend-Zone' is an offshoot of this problem,
where people resent platonic friendship offered
by the people they are physically attracted to.
Another offshoot, as far as I know has not
been given a clever name.
I will call it the 'Hag-or-Fag Zone'.
It's where someone WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY
because of their lack of attraction to you.
They scan you, and you register with them
as Not Worth Their Time.
You get denied adequate customer service,
they ignore your human presence,
they don't even want to talk with you.
The times that strangers take the time to consciously rate your 'fuckability'
and then decide EXACTLY how to treat you
now that that's been settled.
I hated it most of all.
That feeling of judgment and then
acceptance or rejection
of all INTEREST IN ME AS A POSSIBLE HUMAN BEING.
I hated the guys who are attracted,
and therefore don't know how to be a friend.
I hated the guys who are not attracted,
and therefore don't even want to be around me.
Maybe someone will explain it to me someday in a way that
doesn't make me think such people
who actively spend conscious effort gauging every [preferred-gender human]
they see on some 'fuckability' scale
is a goddamned asshole?
Luckily, I know so many AWESOME heterosexual men
who do NOT treat women like sex objects first, and humans (maybe) later
that I can counter-balance my bad experiences
with good ones.
THANKFULLY.
I especially appreciate my awesome guy friends who I pick
based on the fact they have always treated me like a human
before they develop how they treat me as a female.
-instead of vice versa.
Where our genders are not a part of our general interaction,
it's recognized as honest subtext, rather than being the whole context.
It's one of the reasons I decided to pursue Sailor.
I LOVED the way he treated everyone he knew with the utmost respect.
PERIOD. Always.
Full stop.
Human decency and respect is sexy, yo.
WAY sexier than judgmental sexual objectification could EVER be!
Just,... wanted to share that... comment.
Just,... wanted to share my... experience.
Have other ladies consciously experienced the guys who just...
can't function with you as a human based on whether they are attracted or not?
Like.. on any level?
Guys? Does this have a mirror of your experience with girls doing the same thing to you?
LGBTQ community? Samesies? Differences?
Post-script:
Google tells me that usage of the word "judgmental" has been low-level for over 200 years and only began spiking into common use in the late 1950s... and plateaued sometime in the 1980s into current levels of use.
That could be a fuckin' interesting socio-linguistic paper evident in those stats....
"I do rate the "fuckability" of almost every woman I see for the first time. what of it? since when is being a heterosexual man a shameful thing?"
/facepalm
This afternoon I was PLENTY productive... for a person who called in sick to work.
Spending a day making calls, getting the side yard plowed, elevating my knee with a hot water bottle on it, and watching youtube videos is an okay day... ESPECIALLY for a Monday, even though it would have been cool to march in the MLK parade or simply take the day off because federal holiday celebrating civil rights struggles and/or achievements should be a holiday from fancy-business job....
BUT IT ISN'T.
Anyways.
Watched too much "Get Doug With High" and "Daily Show", and interviews with John Stewart, Colbert, and Louis CK.
Because for 3 more days it is still a free country.
Watched "Anomalisa" because I heart Charlie Kaufman movies,... and it was just as awkward and sad as I was told it was going to be. However, they did not warn me about claymation sad man cunnilingus and there are SOME THINGS that you have just never seen before... and it really makes you stop and go, "Hmmm,.. never seen THAT before..." but, of course that is 25% of the point of watching Kaufman movies in the first place, amiright?
I wanna get back to that "fuckability" comment. I gotta.
The topic of the video was women comedians
"comediennes", if you will
because OBVIOUSLY comedy is a gender-specific word.
O wait. Sorry.
I should restate that.
Obviously comedy is a gender-specific WORLD.
My mistake.
Anyways, it is EXACTLY that sentiment that nearly
pushed me over the edge back when I was
attempting to find straight males
I could stand to talk with
let alone, consider fucking/dating.
This THING where I was judged as a female
in their eyes/fantasies
before they decided whether I was worthy of
their time/attention
let alone
respect/consideration.
I HATED THIS PART MOST
of ALL PARTS of my gender.
AND I BLEED EVERY MONTH, motherfuckers!
Ok,.. now I am on Mirena, and I DON'T bleed every month
BUT THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT!
That of all the shitty parts of being female
how females are TREATED by a vast majority
of men who even lay eyes on us.
Men are subjected to this, too.
In a way.
But there is a reason women are a "minority class"
even though we are a physical and literal numerical majority.
Because sociological minority v. majority is about
power *not* population.
My least favorite part of being female has long been
how being treated like a female FEELS like.
I assume people with dark skin *especially*
know what I mean.
Dark-skinned women?
Fuggedaboutit!
Where the power structure,
personified by most individuals you meet
size you up
and decide
*exactly* how interested they are
in putting energy
into the experience of meeting you.
I'm a fat lady,
Always have been.
I am also very friendly,
charming, and quick-witted.
I am comfortable with people,
at ease with myself,
and confident in my actions.
Therefore people have to TRY to ignore me,
if I want them to see me.
I've always had plenty of dating luck,
I'm not complaining about that.
My issue, with the whole treatment
was straight men who only related to me
through their attraction level to me.
The 'Friend-Zone' is an offshoot of this problem,
where people resent platonic friendship offered
by the people they are physically attracted to.
Another offshoot, as far as I know has not
been given a clever name.
I will call it the 'Hag-or-Fag Zone'.
It's where someone WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY
because of their lack of attraction to you.
They scan you, and you register with them
as Not Worth Their Time.
You get denied adequate customer service,
they ignore your human presence,
they don't even want to talk with you.
The times that strangers take the time to consciously rate your 'fuckability'
and then decide EXACTLY how to treat you
now that that's been settled.
I hated it most of all.
That feeling of judgment and then
acceptance or rejection
of all INTEREST IN ME AS A POSSIBLE HUMAN BEING.
I hated the guys who are attracted,
and therefore don't know how to be a friend.
I hated the guys who are not attracted,
and therefore don't even want to be around me.
Maybe someone will explain it to me someday in a way that
doesn't make me think such people
who actively spend conscious effort gauging every [preferred-gender human]
they see on some 'fuckability' scale
is a goddamned asshole?
Luckily, I know so many AWESOME heterosexual men
who do NOT treat women like sex objects first, and humans (maybe) later
that I can counter-balance my bad experiences
with good ones.
THANKFULLY.
I especially appreciate my awesome guy friends who I pick
based on the fact they have always treated me like a human
before they develop how they treat me as a female.
-instead of vice versa.
Where our genders are not a part of our general interaction,
it's recognized as honest subtext, rather than being the whole context.
It's one of the reasons I decided to pursue Sailor.
I LOVED the way he treated everyone he knew with the utmost respect.
PERIOD. Always.
Full stop.
Human decency and respect is sexy, yo.
WAY sexier than judgmental sexual objectification could EVER be!
Just,... wanted to share that... comment.
Just,... wanted to share my... experience.
Have other ladies consciously experienced the guys who just...
can't function with you as a human based on whether they are attracted or not?
Like.. on any level?
Guys? Does this have a mirror of your experience with girls doing the same thing to you?
LGBTQ community? Samesies? Differences?
Post-script:
Google tells me that usage of the word "judgmental" has been low-level for over 200 years and only began spiking into common use in the late 1950s... and plateaued sometime in the 1980s into current levels of use.
That could be a fuckin' interesting socio-linguistic paper evident in those stats....