One Of Those Major Life Events You Hear About
By this time tomorrow, Helen and I will be nearing the end of the final walkthrough of the new house. Need to make sure the present owners didn't torch the basement or sacrifice a goat in the kitchen and neglect to clean up.
Scant minutes later, it'll be time for the closing. I've been through one of these before, but the numbers are much, much larger than last time. The check that we will bring to the closing looks like my annual gross salary, and that scares the bejabbers out of me. I'm not meant to make purchases that I can't cover with my cash card.
The worst thing about closing isn't even the fantastic amount of money involved ... it's signing my full legal name (all four names and eight syllables) a lot. I intend to keep track of how many times, actually. Next lifetime, I resolve to become famous enough that just one name is sufficient. Why should Bono be the only one to have things easy?
Edit:
Back from the closing. I signed my name 39 times, and initialed things 63 times. Due to the similarity of her name with a series of deadbeats with judgements against them, Helen had to sign 9 more times to indicate that she wasn't them. Or maybe that quickie marriage in Vegas is coming back to haunt her.
Edit:
Signed the papers to sell our old place; that's 9 times more each. I told our lawyer when everything is settled and we get the cash, I want one of those giant checks like they hand to lottery winners. Mostly, I just want to try to stuff it in a deposit envelope at the ATM.
Scant minutes later, it'll be time for the closing. I've been through one of these before, but the numbers are much, much larger than last time. The check that we will bring to the closing looks like my annual gross salary, and that scares the bejabbers out of me. I'm not meant to make purchases that I can't cover with my cash card.
The worst thing about closing isn't even the fantastic amount of money involved ... it's signing my full legal name (all four names and eight syllables) a lot. I intend to keep track of how many times, actually. Next lifetime, I resolve to become famous enough that just one name is sufficient. Why should Bono be the only one to have things easy?
Edit:
Back from the closing. I signed my name 39 times, and initialed things 63 times. Due to the similarity of her name with a series of deadbeats with judgements against them, Helen had to sign 9 more times to indicate that she wasn't them. Or maybe that quickie marriage in Vegas is coming back to haunt her.
Edit:
Signed the papers to sell our old place; that's 9 times more each. I told our lawyer when everything is settled and we get the cash, I want one of those giant checks like they hand to lottery winners. Mostly, I just want to try to stuff it in a deposit envelope at the ATM.