[The feed is focused on a patch of dense foliage. Nothing happens for a few seconds but you hear the familiar roar of a space lion as it crashes through the vegetation, apparently drawing closer to the Guide. A branch bends down, suddenly visible at the top of the screen, as the lion approaches. Several more seconds pass and then the branch snaps ( Read more... )

OI, YOU!

[Have a feed of a shirtless man with a bunch of weird tattoos pointing directly at the Guide]

( CUT FOR BIG TEXT AND DUMBASSERY )

[It's another exciting night on the Thor! Your Guide is currently showing Kamina trying to open a pickle jar while this plays in the background ( Read more... )

[Amidst all you annoying lolis and shotas, Kamina remains unaffected. Sometimes being a little dumb has its advantages okay? His reading skills have improved greatly after being on the Thor for almost a year and he's currently showing off those skills to a crowd of children that are gathered around him]

Sofia grinned wildly, overtaken by passion[ ( Read more... )

[Here's Kamina in what appears to be some kind of lingerie shop. He's looking down at something at the moment, the Guide panning over to what you could only assume to be the alien owner of the place. He quickly looks back up with a big grin on his face]

OI, DO YOU HAVE HUGE TITS?!

[the alien owner is already tentaclepalming and muttering a " ( Read more... )

[The feed shows a packed classroom with the main focus being on the door. There is no teacher or instructions left on the board, only a strange thumping sound that seems to be getting louder and louder. After a few more seconds, the door is suddenly thrown open and Kamina hurries into the classroom. He's about ten minutes late and there's toilet ( Read more... )

[If you're browsing through your Guide tonight then you'll most likely stumble across the classy image of Kamina fooling around with a bra. He seems a bit...quieter than usual which we'll write off to him being awestruck for the moment ( Read more... )

[There's some rustling before a loud smack is heard]

WHO THE HELL PUT A WALL HERE?!

[Silence follows for a few brief moments before more rustling]

OI! THIS IS GETTING ANNOYING! IT'S TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ( Read more... )

[For the past month, Kamina has been working as a lifeguard. It seemed like a perfect fit at the time: minimal work while getting to ogle women in swimsuits. The latter part hasn't exactly worked out, however, as the majority of "females" he's seen have possessed tentacles or an extra appendage or head ( Read more... )

Good evening everyone! Maraich reporting for Space Chic Magazine! As some of you already know, I happen to be a fashion guru. And this month I'm using my knowledge to help all of you in this very article ( Read more... )