Comments | game_byrd: Bricks in the Wall, Chapter 23: No Retaliation

game_byrd

Bricks in the Wall, Chapter 23: No Retaliation

Jun 02, 2012 16:48

Title: No Retaliation
Characters: Peter, Sylar
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Violent sex, coercion during sex, possible dub-con. Peter gets really dark.
Word count: 7,000
Setting: The Wall.
Summary: Peter tries to resist Sylar’s advances, but his own darkest desires betray him.
Notes: Beta by means2bhuman. Set a few days after a fist fight between the two of ( Read more... )

bricks, sylar, !fandom: heroes, peter, rated nc-17

Comments 8

lornrocks June 4 2012, 13:24:17 UTC

While this whole thing was wonderful, it really is that last part that makes it.

Oh boys.

I do love a slow build, that's for sure.

game_byrd June 4 2012, 23:00:32 UTC

Oh, thank you! My writing style became weird towards the end, but I felt it fit better than a longer form. I'm glad it didn't put you off!

Huge comment 1/3 dancingdragon3 June 5 2012, 06:52:46 UTC

Right away I’m intrigued by the warnings. Sadly, they do not deter my reading At All. The length tells me to settle in for a good, long ride. I wish for a glass of wine, especially as I’m all jacked up on coffee, but alas, all I have is ginger ale. But since it’s been awhile since I left a decent comment around here, this is a good thing. And...GO!

Another rejection of Sylar’s advances was delivered; the man in question tried to kill Peter with his eyes. Peter weathered Sylar’s angry glare, answering with a slow, unimpressed blink and looking away.

I love the opening! Great characterization with their expressions and actions.

“Improving the scenery.” Ha ( ... )

Huge comment 2/3 dancingdragon3 June 5 2012, 06:54:31 UTC

Several breathless minutes later....Oh man! That was hot! I love the gradual slide from medical massage to porn scenarios. (**Disclaimer** This does not happen in real life, people!)

The description was perfect. Every inch of this is win. I was so completely sucked in I couldn’t stop reading for a moment. And the time you spent on Sylar’s lips. ::sigh:: Man, Peter is so hot for him. It’s kind of funny when you step back and realize that Peter is completely macking on him and he doesn’t even realize it at first. I don't know that I've ever seen such glorious denial. I am loving this story.

Oh, and I thought it was totally in character for Peter to freak out and escape. More, I’m glad he did. It ups the tension with a well placed emotional flip. :-) Now on to the next part!

LOL to Peter pumping weights to relieve the sexual tension. ::picturing it::

“I won’t hurt you,” Sylar added desperately, grasping at straws for what to offer.Be still my heart. That is such a perfect thing for Sylar to say. This scene is so quiet, I’m barely ( ... )

Huge comment 3/3 dancingdragon3 June 5 2012, 07:02:47 UTC

Several amazed minutes later...Woah. That was...woah. That’s what you were worried about? It’s fabulous! Absolutely perfect! I mean, I certainly wouldn’t have minded seeing one of the sex scenes in more detail, but the way this flows and captures the passage of time is great. And that last part is pure poetry.

Peter lay half propped up, his fingers tracing the bruises and bite marks that littered Sylar’s jaw, neck and upper chest. The guy had a couple on his back, too, one on his arm and another decorating a butt cheek. Other than a few possible bruises, Peter was untouched. “Do you mind? These marks?”

“No.”

Peter smiled faintly, frightened by what he was becoming. “I’ve never done this to anyone.” His eyes went up to Sylar’s, which were steady and unbothered by the surprising violence of Peter’s passion. He seemed serene - utterly fulfilled by the use he was being put to.

“I’m glad,” Sylar said in one of his customary plurisignifications.That was my favorite scene. Possessive!Peter is a fave of mine, as you know. So what does ( ... )

Re: Huge comment 3/3 game_byrd June 5 2012, 11:45:44 UTC

I don't have time this morning (nor probably tonight) to reply properly to such wonderful comments, but I want to make a quick reply about plurisignification. It's a real word. It was one of the "A Word A Day" words from a couple weeks ago. It means to mean more than one thing with the same statement. In this case, Sylar means he's glad in a general sense (glad of the use Peter is putting him to; glad of Peter's passion), and he's also glad that Peter's never done that to anyone before (both because it makes Sylar special, and because Sylar agrees that it's inappropriate to mark up your lover that much ... which of course just makes it hotter that Peter did it to him ( ... )

means2bhuman June 8 2012, 08:52:41 UTC

I feel so bad about not commenting on this before - everything is awesome and even better, I adore the additions! DD gave serious comment love better than I would be able to word - slowing down the action and drawing it out. I particularly adored (strangely as it's not my style) the scene snippets, that was marvelous ( ... )