Anxiety
...is getting the better of me.
I'm still up. Unable to fall asleep.
Staying up on the pretext of enjoying the cool night, smelling the storm as it comes, listening to raindrops fall and thunders roar.
Seriously, even the joy of a rain storm has been dulled recently.
I am still waiting. It is killing me. From mild hopes, I've sunk to despair. I want it so bad. Words can't describe. Maybe it can, but finding the words for it will just be like putting a knife in and twisting it around, asking,"do you feel it now?"
I've cried, I've prayed, I've pleaded. I would need to prostrate next.
-takes a deep breath-
God, I really, really want this. I'm surrendering it to you. Total, complete surrender. I don't want to. But I know that You know best.
...when my world is falling down, in You I will be found, I'm staying in Your arms today, always, always and forever...