Passions Rampant, Invasions Impending
In this issue:
Delenn of Troy
G'Kar Strikes Back
Morden Repentant
Bester In Love
And much, much more!
From our correspondent Giselle Burton, with additional reporting by Den Randall
BREAKING NEWS: Coup D'État on Babylon 5
Sheridan's Fate a Mystery
Following recent revelations about his past, renegade Earth Force Captain John Sheridan disappeared to parts unknown. Officially, he is supposed to visit Proxima III, but this magazine has never been fooled by propaganda, and has learned the shocking truth.
_delenn of Minbar, long suspected as the Grey Eminence of the Station, has finally shown her hand. "Sleeping her way to the top, then ditching the guys one by one," Catherine Sakkai, former fiancée of Ambassador Jeffrey Sinclair, was heard to comment. "It's an old story. I never trusted her, not after the way she put the moves on Jeff all the time. Once she got him where she wanted him, on Minbar, she went for Sheridan like lightning. Mark my words: you can tell who's going to be on top next by looking at Delenn's social schedule."
At the moment, that person seems to be londo_mollari (see also: Narn/Centauri War, this issue). After Sheridan's mysterious departure, which took place only a few days before citizengkar left the station, several intimate dinners between Delenn and Mollari took place. Their purpose was a mystery until the Drazi ambassador, strictly in the interest of intergalactic peace, kindly provided our staff with recordings. We can now inform our readers that the insatiable Centauri and the cold-blooded Minbari Fatale have cemented their sinister pact by all kind of unnatural practices, involving tentacles, headbones and red-haired strangers. Knowing the Centauri penchant for poison and torture, and the Minbari ruthlessness which nearly cost every single person on Earth their lives, we shudder to think what Captain Sheridan's true state must be now. If he isn't already dead, he is undoubtedly languishing in some dark Centauri prison cell. Who will be the next victim as this guilty pair of war criminals proceeds on their way to ultimate power? Galaxy Gab's readers will find out!
HELL HATH NO FURY
Renewal of Narn/Centauri War Imminent?
As the torrid affair between Centauri Ambassador and Acting Prime Minister Londo Mollari and Citizen G'Kar of Narn came to its inevitable end, voices of relief were heard everywhere in the galaxy. "I knew G'Kar could never love someone as petty and ridiculous as Mollari," Na'Toth confided to an source who wishes to remain anonymous. "He did his duty - finally," the Centauri Minister of the Interior, Vazini, commented.
However, all relief quickly faded as it became apparent what terrible consequences the break-up will have for millions of innocent people everywhere. Due to tireless investigation, Galaxy Gab has learned that G'Kar departed to Minbar in order to train an army of fanatic followers so he can take his revenge to Centauri Prime itself. Having seen how easily his people were defeated by the Centauri in the last war, the scorned Narn obviously intends to rely on superior Minbari and Human fighting power in the next round.
He even has a new puppet Emperor for a future regime at hand; Ambassadorial Aide Vir Cotto, whose plot against Mollari was discovered by our reporter Giselle Burton a month ago, has arrived on Minbar as well and has begun talks with disgruntled Centauri expatriates.
Meanwhile, Mollari has taken steps of his own to secure allies in the impending struggle; see "Ship of Horrors" and "Coup d'État", this issue. Will war annihilate both races this time? Those of our readers who wish to visit either Centauri Prime or Narn are advised to do so now, before both planets vanish from the face of the universe. A fate much more preferable than seeing Earth enslaved by either race, which is undoubtedly what would come next.
MORDEN FINDS RELIGION
Shadow Associate Turns Over New Leaf
"I've seen Jesus," mr_morden, formerly thought to be one of the most evil men of the galaxy, declares to all and sunder these days. In a most surprising development, undoubtedly connected to our magazine's tireless efforts of making him see the light in terms of his responsibility to his illegitimate children, Mr. Morden, "Klaus" to his friends, has decided to change his life for the better.
Participating in a charity function as a Karaoke singer was only the start. Mr. Morden's debut as a singer on this occasion was described by all guests as a "fiery event". The demands for a repeat performance are rising, and a career seems imminent. "Yeah, we're in negotiations," the management of Rebo and Zooty declared. "Mind you, this insistence he heard the Voice of God is all very well, but I wish he'd cut it down; too much of that religious stuff turns off the fans, and if he wants to bring in cash for orphans, that's not the way to go."
Morden then embarked on a selfles rescue mission, and, in an effort to clarify misunderstandings haunting him to this day, posted reports on his gallant but doomed defense of Anna Sheridan's virtue, assaulted by the late and lecherous Justin on Z'Ha'dum. Still, he is determined to bring his old Associates into his new life as well, so they might share his new enlightenment.
"They are my family," Mr. Morden insists, lips trembling. "Z'ha'dum is my home."
While scepticism on the part of our readers and indeed some members of this magazine's staff is understandable, we hope Mr. Morden is sincere and wish him the best for his future as a singer for orphans and rescuer of strayed puppies everywhere.
TELEPATHIC TRIANGLES
Bester and Garibaldi: Enemies… or more?
Following the recent arrival of Psi Cop Alfred Bester on Babylon 5, the station's inhabitants were baffled to find that as the days went by, no arrests took place. Neither Mr. Garibaldi, now known as a low-level telepath, nor Mr. Smith, a newcomer whose gloves and general behaviour pointed to telepathic abilities as well, were confronted by the Psi Cop.
Instead, Bester was soon standing shyly and in nervous silence in front of Mr. Garibaldi's doors, before wandering away again, and practising poignant romantic phrases to the thin air in Babylon 5's medlab. Has love finally melted his iron sense of duty and disdain of mundanes?
"Well, he does have a thing for this Garibaldi guy," a member of Psi Corps who was promised anonymity said. "I did hear him praise his skills on more than one occasion. Of course, back then I thought he meant investigative skills, but who knows…"
Meanwhile, more rivals for Mr. Garibaldi's affection seem to pop up by the minute. Aside from his ongoing involvement with Jeffrey Sinclair, he could be seen in a state of transpiration and what witnesses describe as "obvious arousal" next to a long-haired, bearded middle-aged man whom station gossip identifies as one Qui-Gon Jinn. On the other hand, newcomer Roger Smith went as far as a public embrace with Mr. Garibaldi. Clearly, Mr. Bester will have his work cut out for him. The romantics in our staff wish him the best of luck!
SHIP OF HORROR
Army of Madmen Prepared To Invade
(Special report by Den Randall)
Risking everything, our reporter Den Randall went undercover as john__crichton and Captain Bialar Crais, employed by Londo Mollari for their doubtful services, left the station on the Centauri Cruiser Black Glory. (Formerly known as Purple Splendour.) At the moment, we have lost contact with Mr. Randall, but his last, desperate calls painted a picture dark enough to chill the blood of every citizen in our galaxy.
Navigating blind through a wormhole, Mr. Crichton guided the Black Glory directly to a waiting space craft populated by an army of bloodthirsty human-looking androids in black uniforms, though without any visible connection to the Psi Corps. They are led by an individual named Scorpius whose species is unclear, though there seems to be some resemblance to the idols the Brakiri use on the Day of the Dead. Given that Ambassador Mollari sponsored the entire expedition, it is all too likely that this army is waiting to join him and Ambassador Delenn in either their impending attack on Earth or in the next war with the Narn, whichever comes first. We can only hope the inhabitants of Babylon 5 will take our warning to heart and rise against the guilty pair to prevent this. Failing that, our prayers rest with President Clark who has vowed to die rather than to see Earth fall prey to an alien invasion.
Next Issue: He Said, She Said: Saffron and Malcolm Reynolds Talk. And: Memoirs Of Mayhem: Damar Confesses.
Delenn of Troy
G'Kar Strikes Back
Morden Repentant
Bester In Love
And much, much more!
From our correspondent Giselle Burton, with additional reporting by Den Randall
BREAKING NEWS: Coup D'État on Babylon 5
Sheridan's Fate a Mystery
Following recent revelations about his past, renegade Earth Force Captain John Sheridan disappeared to parts unknown. Officially, he is supposed to visit Proxima III, but this magazine has never been fooled by propaganda, and has learned the shocking truth.
_delenn of Minbar, long suspected as the Grey Eminence of the Station, has finally shown her hand. "Sleeping her way to the top, then ditching the guys one by one," Catherine Sakkai, former fiancée of Ambassador Jeffrey Sinclair, was heard to comment. "It's an old story. I never trusted her, not after the way she put the moves on Jeff all the time. Once she got him where she wanted him, on Minbar, she went for Sheridan like lightning. Mark my words: you can tell who's going to be on top next by looking at Delenn's social schedule."
At the moment, that person seems to be londo_mollari (see also: Narn/Centauri War, this issue). After Sheridan's mysterious departure, which took place only a few days before citizengkar left the station, several intimate dinners between Delenn and Mollari took place. Their purpose was a mystery until the Drazi ambassador, strictly in the interest of intergalactic peace, kindly provided our staff with recordings. We can now inform our readers that the insatiable Centauri and the cold-blooded Minbari Fatale have cemented their sinister pact by all kind of unnatural practices, involving tentacles, headbones and red-haired strangers. Knowing the Centauri penchant for poison and torture, and the Minbari ruthlessness which nearly cost every single person on Earth their lives, we shudder to think what Captain Sheridan's true state must be now. If he isn't already dead, he is undoubtedly languishing in some dark Centauri prison cell. Who will be the next victim as this guilty pair of war criminals proceeds on their way to ultimate power? Galaxy Gab's readers will find out!
HELL HATH NO FURY
Renewal of Narn/Centauri War Imminent?
As the torrid affair between Centauri Ambassador and Acting Prime Minister Londo Mollari and Citizen G'Kar of Narn came to its inevitable end, voices of relief were heard everywhere in the galaxy. "I knew G'Kar could never love someone as petty and ridiculous as Mollari," Na'Toth confided to an source who wishes to remain anonymous. "He did his duty - finally," the Centauri Minister of the Interior, Vazini, commented.
However, all relief quickly faded as it became apparent what terrible consequences the break-up will have for millions of innocent people everywhere. Due to tireless investigation, Galaxy Gab has learned that G'Kar departed to Minbar in order to train an army of fanatic followers so he can take his revenge to Centauri Prime itself. Having seen how easily his people were defeated by the Centauri in the last war, the scorned Narn obviously intends to rely on superior Minbari and Human fighting power in the next round.
He even has a new puppet Emperor for a future regime at hand; Ambassadorial Aide Vir Cotto, whose plot against Mollari was discovered by our reporter Giselle Burton a month ago, has arrived on Minbar as well and has begun talks with disgruntled Centauri expatriates.
Meanwhile, Mollari has taken steps of his own to secure allies in the impending struggle; see "Ship of Horrors" and "Coup d'État", this issue. Will war annihilate both races this time? Those of our readers who wish to visit either Centauri Prime or Narn are advised to do so now, before both planets vanish from the face of the universe. A fate much more preferable than seeing Earth enslaved by either race, which is undoubtedly what would come next.
MORDEN FINDS RELIGION
Shadow Associate Turns Over New Leaf
"I've seen Jesus," mr_morden, formerly thought to be one of the most evil men of the galaxy, declares to all and sunder these days. In a most surprising development, undoubtedly connected to our magazine's tireless efforts of making him see the light in terms of his responsibility to his illegitimate children, Mr. Morden, "Klaus" to his friends, has decided to change his life for the better.
Participating in a charity function as a Karaoke singer was only the start. Mr. Morden's debut as a singer on this occasion was described by all guests as a "fiery event". The demands for a repeat performance are rising, and a career seems imminent. "Yeah, we're in negotiations," the management of Rebo and Zooty declared. "Mind you, this insistence he heard the Voice of God is all very well, but I wish he'd cut it down; too much of that religious stuff turns off the fans, and if he wants to bring in cash for orphans, that's not the way to go."
Morden then embarked on a selfles rescue mission, and, in an effort to clarify misunderstandings haunting him to this day, posted reports on his gallant but doomed defense of Anna Sheridan's virtue, assaulted by the late and lecherous Justin on Z'Ha'dum. Still, he is determined to bring his old Associates into his new life as well, so they might share his new enlightenment.
"They are my family," Mr. Morden insists, lips trembling. "Z'ha'dum is my home."
While scepticism on the part of our readers and indeed some members of this magazine's staff is understandable, we hope Mr. Morden is sincere and wish him the best for his future as a singer for orphans and rescuer of strayed puppies everywhere.
TELEPATHIC TRIANGLES
Bester and Garibaldi: Enemies… or more?
Following the recent arrival of Psi Cop Alfred Bester on Babylon 5, the station's inhabitants were baffled to find that as the days went by, no arrests took place. Neither Mr. Garibaldi, now known as a low-level telepath, nor Mr. Smith, a newcomer whose gloves and general behaviour pointed to telepathic abilities as well, were confronted by the Psi Cop.
Instead, Bester was soon standing shyly and in nervous silence in front of Mr. Garibaldi's doors, before wandering away again, and practising poignant romantic phrases to the thin air in Babylon 5's medlab. Has love finally melted his iron sense of duty and disdain of mundanes?
"Well, he does have a thing for this Garibaldi guy," a member of Psi Corps who was promised anonymity said. "I did hear him praise his skills on more than one occasion. Of course, back then I thought he meant investigative skills, but who knows…"
Meanwhile, more rivals for Mr. Garibaldi's affection seem to pop up by the minute. Aside from his ongoing involvement with Jeffrey Sinclair, he could be seen in a state of transpiration and what witnesses describe as "obvious arousal" next to a long-haired, bearded middle-aged man whom station gossip identifies as one Qui-Gon Jinn. On the other hand, newcomer Roger Smith went as far as a public embrace with Mr. Garibaldi. Clearly, Mr. Bester will have his work cut out for him. The romantics in our staff wish him the best of luck!
SHIP OF HORROR
Army of Madmen Prepared To Invade
(Special report by Den Randall)
Risking everything, our reporter Den Randall went undercover as john__crichton and Captain Bialar Crais, employed by Londo Mollari for their doubtful services, left the station on the Centauri Cruiser Black Glory. (Formerly known as Purple Splendour.) At the moment, we have lost contact with Mr. Randall, but his last, desperate calls painted a picture dark enough to chill the blood of every citizen in our galaxy.
Navigating blind through a wormhole, Mr. Crichton guided the Black Glory directly to a waiting space craft populated by an army of bloodthirsty human-looking androids in black uniforms, though without any visible connection to the Psi Corps. They are led by an individual named Scorpius whose species is unclear, though there seems to be some resemblance to the idols the Brakiri use on the Day of the Dead. Given that Ambassador Mollari sponsored the entire expedition, it is all too likely that this army is waiting to join him and Ambassador Delenn in either their impending attack on Earth or in the next war with the Narn, whichever comes first. We can only hope the inhabitants of Babylon 5 will take our warning to heart and rise against the guilty pair to prevent this. Failing that, our prayers rest with President Clark who has vowed to die rather than to see Earth fall prey to an alien invasion.
Next Issue: He Said, She Said: Saffron and Malcolm Reynolds Talk. And: Memoirs Of Mayhem: Damar Confesses.