TKTHA-Chapter 5

Aug 21, 2009 15:55

Jin woke up to the sound of suppressed sobs. He slowly opened his eyes, the light from the window stinging his unprepared eyes, to find Kame in tears on the bed. He slowly made his way over to sit next to the man who had yet to realize that he was awake. He raised his hand in order to wrap his arm around the younger man, only to drop it before he made contact when he saw the papers in the pale hands. “You read my story.” It came out as barely a whisper, but it was enough to cause Kame to sharply turn his head up in surprise.

After a moments silence, Kame whispered through his tears, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay that you read my story. I’m just …why are you crying?” Jin quickly, but gently interrupted.

“Why…why is it so sad?” Kame returned Jin’s question with a question of his own. Akanishi just stared blankly back at the young man, so Kazuya just dropped his head as tears continued to fall from his eyes.

After staring at the other man in silence for awhile, without reason, Jin reached out his hand and stroked Kame’s cheek with his thumb causing Kazuya to look up again. As their eyes met, Jin lent in and captured Kazuya’s lips with his own.

Kazuya immediately sank into the soft, soothing feeling of the other man’s lips on his own, until the picture of another man crossed before his eyes, causing him to sharply snap his eyes open, violently push Jin back and run out of the room. As Kame ran out the door, a sinking feeling could be felt in Jin’s heart as he hit the bed in frustration.

Kamenashi ran as fast as he could out of the cottage, through the town, and into the woods where he collapsed beneath a tree and banged his head into the trunk as he sat and thought.

***

Hours passed by as both men pondered what had happened and what it meant. Kamenashi spent most of the day thinking about Tatsuya and why his kiss with Jin felt like he betrayed the older man.  He continued to think into the afternoon, until his stomach rumbled with hunger, and he decided to go back into town for some food.

He went into the only inn in the town and sat down at a table as he waited for a serving girl to come. Thinking under the tree, he had come to the conclusion that he would kindly ask Akanishi to never do something like that again and that he would prefer it if they just remained friends, and if he was not okay with that, he would leave and find a place in the next town to stay. He had figured out his plan thoroughly. He had even thought of how he was going to tell the older man. Coming up with that plan had only taken a few minutes, but what he had thought about all day was Tatsuya.

He still felt a lingering sense of commitment towards Tatsuya, although he had left the older man who was probably living his happily ever after with Ryo by now. Why couldn’t he just move on with his life? Why couldn’t he let go of Tatsuya fully in his heart? He really wanted to. He wanted this seemingly everlasting pain to go away. He wanted to move on and put his full focus on his new life.  He hadn’t lived with Jin for very long, but he knew that he liked it there. He wanted to be able to spend time with Akanishi without lasting sentiments towards his old love.  But he just couldn’t let go of Tatsuya, not yet.

The one thing that really worried him was if Akanishi took his rejection the wrong way. He wanted to stay with Akanishi because he wanted to move forward with his life and he thought having Jin as a friend would be a great start. He just wasn’t ready to move on to a new love that fast. There was still the chance that he would want to be with the other in the future, after he had taken some time to get over the love of his life. He doubted he would ever really be able to love anyone as much as he still loved Tatsuya, but he might be willing to try with Jin, just not now.

But even if Jin did want him to leave and Kazuya did end up regretting rejecting him, he figured he could always come back when he was ready and hope that Akanishi was still there and that he wasn’t already married to the beautiful wife he probably deserved.

By the time the serving girl came, Kazuya had already worked everything out in his mind and just had to put everything into practice.

***

Back at the cottage, Jin was cursing at himself in betweens bouts of being worried sick for the younger man. He hadn’t wanted to scare Kame away like that. He would say he hadn’t even really wanted to kiss the younger man, but he knew it would be a lie. He had quite enjoyed the kiss, but he hadn’t meant to do it. He didn’t really know why he did it; it was just that one second he was staring at the captivating man next to him and the next he was pressing his lips to the other’s. He knew he probably shouldn’t have done that and he was going to pull away at first and apologize, but then Kazuya was responding and he seemed to be enjoying it too, until he suddenly stopped and pushed Jin away.

Earlier he had gone looking for the younger man to let him know that he wasn’t expecting anything from Kame and if he wanted to forget that the kiss had ever happened, it would be fine, but he hadn’t found him, and now all he could do was sit at home and wait. But, he hated waiting.

A/N: Thanks for reading/commenting!

akame, fics, the key to happiness: acceptance, multichap

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