Family. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Fuck, man. I knew today was going to be a disaster when dad let Michael come over for Thanksgiving, I fucking knew it. I knew that he was going to bitch at me and drag me into it somehow. He got here like three hours ago and we've been arguing every since even though I asked him probably five times to stop talking about it. He insists on dwelling on my mom's mistakes and not acknowledging any of his own. He also ensures me that getting kicked out of both of our parents' houses, burning through five jobs in two years, being expelled from two different schools, and being arrested four times in the last year and a half were all a combination of misunderstandings, accidents, other peoples' incompetence and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. After I basically got tired of him trying to refute my points every single time I tried to tell him mom's point of view and explained that dwelling on the past offers no benefits whatsoever, I pretty much was like, "Okay, that's enough, I'm fucking done. Please stop". He then proceeded to call mom and is now, I assume, on the phone with her in the basement, bitching at her. Dad was standing RIGHT FUCKING THERE and I was like, dude, are you going to fucking let him do this? And dad was like, "Well they can talk if they want to.." after he JUST heard Michael say that his purpose in calling her was to make her feel like shit. I am so fucking tired of everybody in this family. I'm the only person out of all four of us who has made any positive changes whatsoever. Like, I get that I'm attached to these people for life, but holy shit, when my parents tell me to stay the fuck out of it and then turn around and drag me back in? Come on. I have my own significant problems to deal with and I really don't want to be the third parent here. Ad it really bugs me that dad let him call her and talk to her like that right after he said that he was going to call her and make her feel guilty for kicking him out, and told me to stay out of it. Like, what? This is my MOM we're talking about. Maybe she hasn't been the best mom, but she's our fucking mom. And you aren't the one who has to listen to her bawling her eyes out on the phone three times a fucking day and try to pick up her broken pieces.
w09hwsrhfbn8qgf0cDGOB[FGDSF GJ35=64 WRGSD9H. I am so fucking tired of writing about this and thinking about this and being part of this. Fuck it. I'm officially not involved in this shit anymore. If any of them try to talk to me about this I'm literally going to tell them to fuck off.
I really, really, really wish I could talk to Brandon about this. I don't want to write about it because I'm tired to fuck of talking about it and I don't want to burden him with my average, run-of-the-mill fucking problems that EVERYBODY has with their family when he's going through something so much worse. Thank God that Alli is there to always inject a little bit of logic and hope into the situation or I think I would have crumpled up and died already. So.. thank you, Alli.
w09hwsrhfbn8qgf0cDGOB[FGDSF GJ35=64 WRGSD9H. I am so fucking tired of writing about this and thinking about this and being part of this. Fuck it. I'm officially not involved in this shit anymore. If any of them try to talk to me about this I'm literally going to tell them to fuck off.
I really, really, really wish I could talk to Brandon about this. I don't want to write about it because I'm tired to fuck of talking about it and I don't want to burden him with my average, run-of-the-mill fucking problems that EVERYBODY has with their family when he's going through something so much worse. Thank God that Alli is there to always inject a little bit of logic and hope into the situation or I think I would have crumpled up and died already. So.. thank you, Alli.