Open Letter to this Would-Be Blackmailer of mine:
Every so often this missive lands in my Junk Mail folder, and, you know what? It underwhelms me every darn time because whoever you are, you have no TEETH. Let me drop some clues.
E-mail threat to destroy my life
1) I live in a place where nobody really knows me. I'm no pillar of the community.
2) I work for an ADULT ENTERTAINMENT business now. So making me look like I participate does me no harm in that regard.
3) I'm publicly ACE. I have no ex-wives, no ex-lovers, no current sexual partners to embarrass. Queer to Stay, dig?
4) I know I'm already on the "creep" list with local law enforcement due to my balloon fetishism. So I may as well be open about that too.
5) My computer has no microphone and no camera installed. Any video or audio "evidence" you have therefore must be BOGUS.
6) I doubt you're really trying to get ME. I know there is another person on Hotmail with a very similar address to mine. She's a Republican Trump supporter in Arizona. If you're trying to nail her, sad news for you--YOU FAILED.