(no subject)
I haven't updated in a month, exactly. Sorry, I just don't have time, and when I do, I don't update because no one reads these things anyway, so it's basically just like talking to myself anyway.
In the past month, I've had my first drinking experience.
It was fun. I just went to a bonfire out on the beachs with a few of my friends, and I got drunker then all hell. I made an ass out of myself. Within the whole night I was at times, a mean, funny, or emotional drunk. Not really mean, just wouldn't let anyone help me, and I cracked everyone up. Towards the end, I started to cry and flip out about everything bad that's been happening in my life lately. When I got home, I had sand everywhere, because I rolled around in the sand and down hills of sand, before and after I fell in the water. I crawled everywhere because I couldn't even stand up. My mom came to pick me and my two friends up to take us back home, everyone else was still there. I had no hangover in the morning, I just kind of felt stupid.
My grandpa just went back to the hospital. He has something wrong wiht his heart that has been caused by the chemotherapy. His heart is slowly deteriorating(sp). The doctors can't do anything, and he can't keep doing chemo. He has to come home and take antibiotics for a month, to get rid of this bacteria that is on his heart. He's going to die soon, and I'm not ready for it to happen. I had another breakdown last night at my boyfriends house. And I don't know what to do.
My uncle, is still sick, he's having to take more and more medicine for all of his pain. He too is going to pass soon, and I'm not ready for that to happen either, not even close. Having these people so sick around me makes me sick, and makes me wish I could do something to help them get better. Because I want them to be here when I go to prom and get married, and graduate. But I know they probably won't be, and it makes my sad.
School is going fine, tomorrow is my last day of spring break and then back to the hell hole. But we only have like 2 months left or something like that. I got my prom dress this week, at macy's, I like it. I wanted something different, but it didn't end up being different. But I guess it's okay. I don't really have anything more to talk about because nothing has been going on in my life accept for school and things with my family. I need to get ready to be on my own because it's right around the corner, and I'm not ready for that really either.
I mean I am ready to be alone, but I'm not ready to have to get a job and make my own living and all that stuff. I'm excited about graduating next year and going to college. I'm going to be a lawyer, I've decided for sure. I want to be a lawyer even though it's going to take a while and even though that means when I have kids I'll have to get a nanny or have them in daycare. But that's what I want to do. I also can't wait untili I turn 18, so that I can vote. I'm so excited about that the most.
I need to go on a diet. Something that I can stick to, does anyone have any suggestions? If you do, that would be a great help!
In the past month, I've had my first drinking experience.
It was fun. I just went to a bonfire out on the beachs with a few of my friends, and I got drunker then all hell. I made an ass out of myself. Within the whole night I was at times, a mean, funny, or emotional drunk. Not really mean, just wouldn't let anyone help me, and I cracked everyone up. Towards the end, I started to cry and flip out about everything bad that's been happening in my life lately. When I got home, I had sand everywhere, because I rolled around in the sand and down hills of sand, before and after I fell in the water. I crawled everywhere because I couldn't even stand up. My mom came to pick me and my two friends up to take us back home, everyone else was still there. I had no hangover in the morning, I just kind of felt stupid.
My grandpa just went back to the hospital. He has something wrong wiht his heart that has been caused by the chemotherapy. His heart is slowly deteriorating(sp). The doctors can't do anything, and he can't keep doing chemo. He has to come home and take antibiotics for a month, to get rid of this bacteria that is on his heart. He's going to die soon, and I'm not ready for it to happen. I had another breakdown last night at my boyfriends house. And I don't know what to do.
My uncle, is still sick, he's having to take more and more medicine for all of his pain. He too is going to pass soon, and I'm not ready for that to happen either, not even close. Having these people so sick around me makes me sick, and makes me wish I could do something to help them get better. Because I want them to be here when I go to prom and get married, and graduate. But I know they probably won't be, and it makes my sad.
School is going fine, tomorrow is my last day of spring break and then back to the hell hole. But we only have like 2 months left or something like that. I got my prom dress this week, at macy's, I like it. I wanted something different, but it didn't end up being different. But I guess it's okay. I don't really have anything more to talk about because nothing has been going on in my life accept for school and things with my family. I need to get ready to be on my own because it's right around the corner, and I'm not ready for that really either.
I mean I am ready to be alone, but I'm not ready to have to get a job and make my own living and all that stuff. I'm excited about graduating next year and going to college. I'm going to be a lawyer, I've decided for sure. I want to be a lawyer even though it's going to take a while and even though that means when I have kids I'll have to get a nanny or have them in daycare. But that's what I want to do. I also can't wait untili I turn 18, so that I can vote. I'm so excited about that the most.
I need to go on a diet. Something that I can stick to, does anyone have any suggestions? If you do, that would be a great help!