dear journal
i hate my life right now
i have found myself in positions i
.. saw coming
and tonight, i ask if it's cool i go into the new bathroom, and they say okay.
so i go to clean it, cause the sides of the tile were not changed in the shower, and i know they were horrible..
but. of course
i did that wrong.
mom went off on me and how i should never put clorox on tile or the countertops
how i know better
and how everything on the tiles needs to set for a few days.
so i fucked that up too.
so yesterday i got off work, drove home passing out at the wheel..so i took a nap that ended up being over 3 hours long..slept in this morning until 7 !! which is horrible, considering i wake up at 4:45 on a regular basis. and today,was the longest day EVER..came home and worked out to come back to pizza for dinner.and yells from my mother.
friends
jennifer
i feel she blames me for a lot. and lately, she's been silly and ends with she wants time .a long time away from me.. then a wk later asks when this 'not talking to her' thing is going to end. blamed me for claudia taking scissors to a pair of socks. for making her feel the way she does..i belittle her and make her feel stupid in front of people. she's told me this, but from what i gather, apparently i do it A LOT MORE OFTEN THAN WHAT I THOUGHT ..and she doesnt want to change me, but she wants to change the way i make her feel. --read that again---
chris
lady from work. is using my name so she can have some twisted affair with a younger male. her story is a bit complexed, but know there's a [[[good]]] reason why i dont tell her to stop. AND when the time's right, i will ask her to stop. like ...the right time being this wk.sometime.
chis
my ex. wanting some kind of attention from me. i guess. i just want to get into his pants.nothing else. he's planning on moving to LA with his mom and start his own company. he wants to hire me for 40,000 a year working from home finding trucks for him.. sounds good to me, heh.
scott
my sponger -- confuses the hell out of me. and i really dont think ill be meeting him when i go visit L.A. which is a loss.. im not sure what he expects from me, but im flaky, and a liar, and suspicious. ...as well as a long list of others, im sure. i finally saved one of our conversations...let aryn read it at work.lol she got a lot more worked up about it than i thought..haha it was cute, and makes me feel better about the whole situation with me a)not feeling bad and b)being confused as hell after the convo is over
i need a vacation.
END of next month is too far away :|
dear god, make me a bird so i can fly far far away from here
dear god, please make me a bird, so i can fly far far away from here..
i have found myself in positions i
.. saw coming
and tonight, i ask if it's cool i go into the new bathroom, and they say okay.
so i go to clean it, cause the sides of the tile were not changed in the shower, and i know they were horrible..
but. of course
i did that wrong.
mom went off on me and how i should never put clorox on tile or the countertops
how i know better
and how everything on the tiles needs to set for a few days.
so i fucked that up too.
so yesterday i got off work, drove home passing out at the wheel..so i took a nap that ended up being over 3 hours long..slept in this morning until 7 !! which is horrible, considering i wake up at 4:45 on a regular basis. and today,was the longest day EVER..came home and worked out to come back to pizza for dinner.and yells from my mother.
friends
jennifer
i feel she blames me for a lot. and lately, she's been silly and ends with she wants time .a long time away from me.. then a wk later asks when this 'not talking to her' thing is going to end. blamed me for claudia taking scissors to a pair of socks. for making her feel the way she does..i belittle her and make her feel stupid in front of people. she's told me this, but from what i gather, apparently i do it A LOT MORE OFTEN THAN WHAT I THOUGHT ..and she doesnt want to change me, but she wants to change the way i make her feel. --read that again---
chris
lady from work. is using my name so she can have some twisted affair with a younger male. her story is a bit complexed, but know there's a [[[good]]] reason why i dont tell her to stop. AND when the time's right, i will ask her to stop. like ...the right time being this wk.sometime.
chis
my ex. wanting some kind of attention from me. i guess. i just want to get into his pants.nothing else. he's planning on moving to LA with his mom and start his own company. he wants to hire me for 40,000 a year working from home finding trucks for him.. sounds good to me, heh.
scott
my sponger -- confuses the hell out of me. and i really dont think ill be meeting him when i go visit L.A. which is a loss.. im not sure what he expects from me, but im flaky, and a liar, and suspicious. ...as well as a long list of others, im sure. i finally saved one of our conversations...let aryn read it at work.lol she got a lot more worked up about it than i thought..haha it was cute, and makes me feel better about the whole situation with me a)not feeling bad and b)being confused as hell after the convo is over
i need a vacation.
END of next month is too far away :|
dear god, make me a bird so i can fly far far away from here
dear god, please make me a bird, so i can fly far far away from here..