My heart aches
Well below was Anthony's response to me. So yeah I got dumped, and it sucks, it really does. He basically said that he doesn't have time for a girlfriend, and that he sees no point if I am leaving. What I don't understand is he knew the circumstances when I first got here, but yet he continued with me and kept reassuring me that it would work somehow. I knew that I was leaving and that once I left we weren't going to see other, but the way I viewed was make the best out of it while it lasts. If you think about the way he views it, it is a very sad way to view things. I mean it's like saying,"oh why live and have fun if we are going to die anyway." You should try to make the best out of what you have and not view it as in a whats the point negative kind of way. After I read it I called him, and when I told him how I took his response he hung up on me. That so isn't the way I wanted to end things. If he wants to be friends, I can deal with that. I just needed to why he told me the things he did at FCA. I mean why did he say let's just say you kicked me out of the house for awhile, why did he ask for kisses, why did he say that he missed me, and when I said what he was going to write in my journal he said it was nothing bad. What he wrote did write answer alot of my questions, it still leaves me wondering why. I just don't want things to go back the way they were at school when he ignored me, if all he wants to be is friends that's fine, I just don't want to be enemies with him. So yesterday was such a bad day. Robin came over and we were just chilling trying to figure out what to do, like everyone was out of town but us. My dad took us for ice cream, and when we came back we went to Kara's house and watched a movie. It was pretty depressing because she was with her bf, Tillman, and he such a sweetheart. The whole night he hugged her and said how beatiful she us, and we watched this really nice love story. I woudn't have gotten my hopes up if Anthony didn't tell me that it was something good, I mean how is not having time for me good? My heart is sooo broken. I feel really sad, and what sucks is that its my birthday tomorrow and I am going to have a broken heart. Tonight me and the girls are going to do something to get my mind of Anthony. So Anthony if you read this, quit being a jerk, I don't want to argue with you, I just need to tell you somethings, don't worry its not bad. so give me a call if you read this. Why do things have to change? If only they could stay teh same. LIke that night when me and Anthony first met, it was such a great night. We talked, laughed, we had so much in common, it was great. If only every day could be that way, and they could have if only he let it.