A broken record...
I really feel like a broken record. I mean all i do is complain about Anthony and how tired I am of his games, but ugh i can't help it he just really knows how to get to me. He is killing me smalls!! I don't know after that FCA thing I thought you know things were going to be different, at school he talks to me here and there. He told me that he was going to write in my journal to tell me how he feels about me and us, but he obviously hasn't. It's just like he knows what to say or do to get my hopes up, and bam out of no where he crushes me. He makes my hopesfall, awww that's one of his favorite bands, sigh. It just kills me to know that I am not progressing with him, and I am nowhere near to figuring out what it is exactly that he wants, or how he feels about me. I feel like it is just some big game with him, and that I am here only when it is convienent to him. It just sucks when he comes near me and talks to me, that I have to put on some act, and act like it doesn't bother me that nothing has changed. When he told me why I told evryone that we aren't together anymore, he said that I should view it as me kicking him out. But what does that exactly mean? We are together, we aren't, we are only when he feels like it? Ugh I sware he is the most complicating person, but yet I like him! He always asks for a kiss, but alhtough I am dying to,I resist for the fact that I don't know how he feels, and yeah I am still a little hurt for what he did. I just feel so confused and I don't know, i guess I am expecting him to do something spontaneous, and you know come over or call and just pour his heart out. Kind of like in Pretty Woman, you know at the end, but yeah I guess I am in my own little fantasty world, but you know at this point any indication of how he feels is fine with me!
TWO DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!
TWO DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!