Doom
So a billion things have been happening.
I had a confusing encounter with Shihan last week (due to a misunderstanding involving the terms of my employment) and basically I am still working for him (with no problems so far) but I have the distinct feeling that his wife secretly hates me. I can't really prove it but she doesn't chat with me anymore, and if I ask her if she wants me to do anything around the dojo she tells me to ask Shihan (she doesn't give me a reason).
I have been working on acquiring a new hookah because while I like my current one, the release valve broke off during a recent nondescript vaguely suspicious camping trip a couple weeks ago. While still functional (with a couple alterations) I think it's time to get a nicer hookah with a longer hose. Mostly because people keep yanking on the hose and sending coals flying everywhere.
My cat has put perfect claw puncture marks in the top of my thigh because Sophie has decided that not unlike our dining room curtains my leg is a perfect place to climb. Though of course she can't just start at the ankle and work her way up, that would give me time to stop her, no no she needs to take a running leap sinking claws deep into my hip and upper thigh. Any attempts to shake her off result in deeper wounds and so scruffing her is the only real option.
I have been missing my friends, tons and being a lonely lonely person has caused my sister to try to get me a significant other. So after awkwardly turning down various chicks and dudes alike she came up with Tina. The words qualifying her as good girlfriend material being that she is 19, so not younger than me, and quote "she's white like you are!" . . .As if all of my failed relationships prior had involved various other races and our skin color was the cause of our failure. Regardless I soon after began receiving text messages from Tina. Text messages containing such gems as "Well I used to go to Odella (a homeschooling program) but I don't like school so I didn't finish," or "I live with my mom but I don't have a job cause this one chick stopped having me babysit for her" and "I have 5 tats and 4 pircings (misspelled) I'm thinking of getting more do you have lots too?" And who could forget "AM I PRETTY?" This was after sending me a grainy cell phone picture of her in her bathroom (toilet in full view) using the 'fat girl angle shot' method of photography in which the camera is tilted in such a way as to hide flab. Thereby showing only a marked and over makeup filled face and what appears to be a white blob extending towards the camera away from the shoulder. According to my sister this kind of badgering is entirely acceptable because "she recently had a big break up like five months ago and is upset." After suffering this text horror (and receiving no advice from a certain E. Long) for about 3 days I convinced my sister to tell her that I was "still recovering from an unfortunate one-sided love affair in which I was shot down by a bearded man who cared not for me at all". Apparently I will text Tina when I am ready to love again. I think I shall just never date again. I must face the facts, I have no game, am not attractive, and I only attract creepy failures of society who think I am "hawt" but who my sister needed to entice to start texting me.
I need to finish doing college loan things, and my dad is sort of helpful but not really, in that he is willing to purposely get turned for a loan so that I can get another loan from the govt. which is ten times better. The only problem being that he was "pre-approved" and did not want to continue the application process because he won't actually take out a loan, and because apparently if you are fully approved for a loan you can't just. . .you know not take it. That wouldn't make any sense. After calling the financial services people approximately eight times, I have no new helpful information and need to go through a couple more hoops to get situated money-wise. Suck.
Oh right. . .I'm going to die. This Sunday is my black belt test. It will be at shortest five hours long most likely more and I need to demonstrate everything I have ever learned perfectly and fight continuously for twenty minutes. Plus I have to do all the stances fifteen minutes each leg, and perform all of my wazas (made up defenses from an attack with at least 5 moves. . .I have 35). I'm forgetting a couple of the requirements right now but not that I need a five page essay outlining the historic, cultural, and philosophical differences between the three different disciplines studied at my dojo. I need another couple page essay explaining my teaching philosophies as pertaining to the martial arts and children. Despite all of the training I have been putting in, I feel more and more concerned about it. It's only four days away! Plus the fee to take the test is huge! If I fail then I will only be money down and wanting to commit ritualistic seppuku only I won't have any honor, and since I don't have a second in command no one will be able to decapitate me so that my disemboweling isn't so horrific. Suck Suck Suck
I had a confusing encounter with Shihan last week (due to a misunderstanding involving the terms of my employment) and basically I am still working for him (with no problems so far) but I have the distinct feeling that his wife secretly hates me. I can't really prove it but she doesn't chat with me anymore, and if I ask her if she wants me to do anything around the dojo she tells me to ask Shihan (she doesn't give me a reason).
I have been working on acquiring a new hookah because while I like my current one, the release valve broke off during a recent nondescript vaguely suspicious camping trip a couple weeks ago. While still functional (with a couple alterations) I think it's time to get a nicer hookah with a longer hose. Mostly because people keep yanking on the hose and sending coals flying everywhere.
My cat has put perfect claw puncture marks in the top of my thigh because Sophie has decided that not unlike our dining room curtains my leg is a perfect place to climb. Though of course she can't just start at the ankle and work her way up, that would give me time to stop her, no no she needs to take a running leap sinking claws deep into my hip and upper thigh. Any attempts to shake her off result in deeper wounds and so scruffing her is the only real option.
I have been missing my friends, tons and being a lonely lonely person has caused my sister to try to get me a significant other. So after awkwardly turning down various chicks and dudes alike she came up with Tina. The words qualifying her as good girlfriend material being that she is 19, so not younger than me, and quote "she's white like you are!" . . .As if all of my failed relationships prior had involved various other races and our skin color was the cause of our failure. Regardless I soon after began receiving text messages from Tina. Text messages containing such gems as "Well I used to go to Odella (a homeschooling program) but I don't like school so I didn't finish," or "I live with my mom but I don't have a job cause this one chick stopped having me babysit for her" and "I have 5 tats and 4 pircings (misspelled) I'm thinking of getting more do you have lots too?" And who could forget "AM I PRETTY?" This was after sending me a grainy cell phone picture of her in her bathroom (toilet in full view) using the 'fat girl angle shot' method of photography in which the camera is tilted in such a way as to hide flab. Thereby showing only a marked and over makeup filled face and what appears to be a white blob extending towards the camera away from the shoulder. According to my sister this kind of badgering is entirely acceptable because "she recently had a big break up like five months ago and is upset." After suffering this text horror (and receiving no advice from a certain E. Long) for about 3 days I convinced my sister to tell her that I was "still recovering from an unfortunate one-sided love affair in which I was shot down by a bearded man who cared not for me at all". Apparently I will text Tina when I am ready to love again. I think I shall just never date again. I must face the facts, I have no game, am not attractive, and I only attract creepy failures of society who think I am "hawt" but who my sister needed to entice to start texting me.
I need to finish doing college loan things, and my dad is sort of helpful but not really, in that he is willing to purposely get turned for a loan so that I can get another loan from the govt. which is ten times better. The only problem being that he was "pre-approved" and did not want to continue the application process because he won't actually take out a loan, and because apparently if you are fully approved for a loan you can't just. . .you know not take it. That wouldn't make any sense. After calling the financial services people approximately eight times, I have no new helpful information and need to go through a couple more hoops to get situated money-wise. Suck.
Oh right. . .I'm going to die. This Sunday is my black belt test. It will be at shortest five hours long most likely more and I need to demonstrate everything I have ever learned perfectly and fight continuously for twenty minutes. Plus I have to do all the stances fifteen minutes each leg, and perform all of my wazas (made up defenses from an attack with at least 5 moves. . .I have 35). I'm forgetting a couple of the requirements right now but not that I need a five page essay outlining the historic, cultural, and philosophical differences between the three different disciplines studied at my dojo. I need another couple page essay explaining my teaching philosophies as pertaining to the martial arts and children. Despite all of the training I have been putting in, I feel more and more concerned about it. It's only four days away! Plus the fee to take the test is huge! If I fail then I will only be money down and wanting to commit ritualistic seppuku only I won't have any honor, and since I don't have a second in command no one will be able to decapitate me so that my disemboweling isn't so horrific. Suck Suck Suck