Those summer nights chapter 8
2 months later
Luke lóved his work at the hospital. He loved almost everything about it. Every day was different and even though he always felt dead tired after the end of his shift, he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do for a living.
When he returned from his summer job, he looked forward to starting his job at the hospital. He still had a few days to adjust again and get ready for his first day.
He had visited his family, enjoyed spending time with them, especially with his brother and sisters, but at the same time he was happy he had his own place.
His mother's seemingly innocent questions about how he spend his summer and with who, started to annoy him quickly. It didn't help that his ex still lived at his mother's house and even though he usually wasn't home when Luke visited (Luke made sure of that), there were things that reminded Luke of him everywhere. Clothes, personal items and sometimes Luke could even smell his cologne.
It made Luke not want to go to his mother's house anymore so instead he started to invite his siblings to his apartment.
He tried not to think about a certain neurosurgeon who made his summer an incredible experience, and focus on his job.
And it worked, to some extend. But when he came home after a long shift and crawled into bed exhausted, his mind always drifted to blue eyes, capable hands with slender fingers and strong arms that could keep Luke warm. Sometimes he let his mind go further and he pleasured himself with thoughts of Reid, of Reid's body and how he could make Luke feel.
But there were nights that he couldn't sleep, no matter how tired he was. Nights that his mind was filled with images of him and Reid being together, just living their life. Those nights were difficult, when he tossed and turned and wasn't able to grasp hold of any sleep.
His feelings for Reid were the same as the day Reid left him standing outside his house. If anything, they seemed to get stronger, but still... he hadn't tried to contact Reid.
It wasn't that Luke wasn't content with his life, because he was. He had a great job, great friends and he loved his family, crazy as they were. But he did miss something extra in his life. He missed someone to call his own, someone to care of, to love and to spend his days and nights with. And he wanted Reid to be that one.
But if his past relationship taught him anything, then he wasn't going to run after Reid. He had done that with his ex for a long time and it had gotten him nowhere. He'd been called clingy, overbearing and smothering. And even though Luke didn't really understand why, because why would you not want to take care of the one you love or spend time with them, the experience had made him careful.
Caring for people was in his nature, otherwise he wouldn't have become a nurse, but he had become cautious in how far he wanted to go with giving his care and affection in his personal life.
He had to be sure it was wanted by the person he gave it to. And he wasn’t sure Reid was in the same place as he was.
*
The moment Luke turned the key to unlock the door to his apartment, his phone started ringing. He recognized the ringtone he assigned to his mother and sighed. After the day the had, he was not in the mood for fending off the remarks about his life. So for a moment he contemplated not picking up, but he knew she would call him until he picked up.
Luke kicked the door shut behind him and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“Hi mom.” Luke let himself fall down on the couch when he greeted his mother.
“Hey sweetie. How are you?”
“I just came home from work and I’m tired.” He rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t lying, he really was tired.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” His mother asked concerned.
“No mom, it’s fine. I’m just gonna grab something to eat and then go to bed early.” Luke answered.
“Thanks for the offer, though.” He added, because he did appreciate her concern.
“So… how have you been? I haven’t seen you much lately.” His mother asked.
Luke stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen to inspect if there was anything edible left in there.
“I’ve just been busy, mom. You know, new job and all. It takes time to get used to everything. And I need to focus on that, I just don’t have the time or energy for much else.”
He found a container with left-overs that grandma Emma had given to him yesterday, telling him he needed to eat healthy if he was so busy all the time.
“I know, I know. I just don’t want you to over-work yourself. You need to take care of yourself, sweetie. Especially in your condition.” She added.
“Mom, I don’t have a condition." Luke said. "And I am taking care of myself. In fact, I'm about to eat some of grandma's meatloaf, so really, there nothing to be concerned about. And I don't think I can overwork myself in two months." He put the container in the microwave, adjusted the time and pressed 'start'.
"Maybe not." His mother laughed a little. "But I can't help but worry about you." Luke then heard some noise in the background. He stared at the microwave, counting down the seconds till his food was ready.
"Noah says hi." His mother's voice sounded again.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Thanks. Listen, my food is almost ready, so I'm gonna go, okay?" He said, ending the call abruptly. “Bye mom.”
He pressed ‘end’ and tossed the phone onto the countertop, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. He would celebrate the day his mother could have a conversation with him without mentioning Noah.
The microwave dinged, indicated his food was warm. Luke pulled out the plate and moved to sit on the couch. He turned on the TV, searched for something to watch on Netflix and ate quietly. Just as he was finishing up washing his plate, his phone rang again. Casey.
“Hey Case, what’s up?” Luke cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder, while he dried off his plate.
“Luke! Do you have any plans for Halloween?” Casey asked very enthousiastically.
“Maybe I’ll take Ethan trick or treating, but I haven’t checked with my mom yet. Why?”
“You want to hang out later? I could come over?” Casey said.
Luke frowned. It wasn’t like Casey to stay in on any holiday, but especially not on Halloween. “Don’t you have a standing invitation from Malone’s?” Casey was notorious for partying hard at Malone’s, a bar in the centre of town.
“Yeah.” Casey sighed. “But I’m not feeling it this year. I don’t know. Maybe… maybe I just want to spend some time with my best bro!”
Luke snorted. “We see each other more than once a week, Case. What’s going on?”
It stayed silent for a few moments. Then Casey said, “Allison doesn’t know if she wants to go through with the wedding.”
“What?” Luke was stunned. Allison had been the one to press Casey into marrying her, Casey had just wanted to make her happy. “Why?”
“Well, apparently she doesn’t know if I’m the one.” Casey said with emphasis on ‘the one’.
“Wow. That’s rough.. “ Luke said empathically. “You didn’t see it coming?”
“I don’t know, maybe? She’s been a little distant lately, but I thought she was just busy and tired, you know? But turns out, she’s been having coffee with Chris, her ex and my uncle.”
“Are you serious?” Luke was shocked. “Did she cheat on you?” Again, Luke added silently.
“She says she didn’t, but right now, I don’t know what to believe.” Casey sounded downright miserable.
“Did you break up or… “ Luke hesitantly asked.
“Not yet. But right now, everything is messed up. On one hand I want to convince her that we áre meant te be, but after everything we’ve been through… I mean if she still has doubts after all this time then I don’t know what to do about it.”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it. It’s something that she has to feel and know in her heart to be true. When she doesn’t… I don’t know what to tell you right now.” It was hard hearing his best friend in pain, but Luke didn’t know how to fix it. “Do you want me to go talk to her?”
“No, that’s alright. I don’t know if that would make it better or worse.”
“Thanks.” Luke said in a mock-offense tone.
It made Casey laugh for a moment, but then he got serious again. “It’s just difficult, being here with her. I don’t know how to act, you know? Do I pretend everything is fine or do I ignore her or what?”
He sighed again.
Luke sat up straighter. “You know, if you wanted to get away for a while, you can always stay with me, if you want? I have an extra room, you know that.”
“Really?” Casey “Because I could be there in about 30 minutes.”
“Wow, you really do want to get out.” Luke laughed.
“Yeah, but if it’s inconvenient… I mean, it doesn’t have to be tonight.”
“Just get your ass over here, Case. I’ll make sure the spare room is ready for you.”
“Thank you Luke. Really, thank you.” Casey’s voice was thin but sincere.
“No need to thank me, you’re my best friend. Now, come on, I’ll see you soon.”
Luke ended the call and fell backwards into the pillows. He couldn’t wrap his head around what Casey had just told him. In his eyes, Allison and Casey were great together. Sure, they had their … up and downs, so to speak, but in the end they really loved each other. Or, at least, that what Luke thought.
Luke rubbed his eyes for a moment, then pushed himself off the couch to go put clean sheets on the bed in the spare room.
*
Living with Casey turned out to be both annoying and great. Annoying because Casey was messy, like really messy and didn’t clean anything. But great because he cooked amazing meals and made sure the fridge was always stocked with everything Luke liked.
Like Casey wanted, they’d stayed home on Halloween and watched old horror movies. It was fun and they felt like going back to all the summers they lived together at the beach. Maybe it was because of this that Casey brought up the subject of ‘Reid’ to Luke.
“Do you ever think about that doctor? The one you met this summer?” He asked one evening, seemingly innocent while mashing up potatoes for diner.
Luke almost choked on the coke he was drinking and coughed violently. “Jeez, warn a guy, will you?” He wheezed.
Casey looked at him amused. “I think I got my answer.” He said in a sing-song voice.
Luke tried to throw a napkin at his head, but the air worked against him and it fell limply between them.
“Shut up.”
“Very mature.”
“Shut up.”
Casey finished mashing the potatoes and pulled out two plates. He loaded them up with meat, vegetables and the potatoes. He then put on the plates in front of Luke and sat down across from him with his own plate.
“I’m serious though. You were pretty hung up on him then.” Casey said before stuffing his mouth.
Luke looked at his full plate miserable. “I still am.” He admitted quietly.
Casey looked at him pensive, while chewing his food. “What are you going to do about it? And don’t start with the ‘I don’t want to be clingy’ thing. Because sending him a text or calling him is not clingy and you know it.”
Luke shrugged. He started eating hoping it would get him out of answering to Casey. But Casey didn’t let go this time. He knew what Luke in love looked like and he was determined to urge Luke to follow his heart.
Luke swallowed and said, “It’s not what we agreed upon. It was just for the summer and nothing more.”
“But you didn’t know then how you would feel now.” Casey argued.
“True, but that doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like he has tried to contact me.” Luke shoved another mouthful into his mouth.
Casey looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. “Is that what this is about? Are you afraid he doesn’t feel the same way?”
Luke sighed. “Of course I’m afraid he doesn’t feel the same way. What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me now? Besides he’s not a relationship-kind-of-person. He said so himself. What good would it do me to set myself up for rejection?”
Casey leaned forward to catch Luke’s eyes. “Then you’ll know and you can move on. It’s been months now and you’re still in love with him even without seeing him or talking to him. It’s time to do something.”
Luke stared at his best friend. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about doing exactly what Casey was saying. But the fear of rejection was always bigger than his courage. But Casey was right. He couldn’t hang on to a dream, it was better and healthier to know for sure where he stood. He felt like maybe now he could actually do it.
“You’re right.” He told Casey.
“What?”
Luke laughed at Casey’s face. “What, you didn’t think I would agree with you?”
“Oh, I know you agree with me, I just didn’t know if you’d be man enough to admit it.” Casey grinned.
Luke narrowed his eyes at him. “There are so many ways I could go with that sentence that I’m not even going to bother.”
Casey just laughed.
They finished eating and Luke cleaned everything up, since Casey had cooked.
Luke went to his room and sat down on his bed. He stared at his phone for a long time, trying to find the courage to do what he wanted to do.
Finally, he opened his list of contacts and found Reid easily. But then the problem was, what to say?
Just ‘hello?’ or ‘How are you?’. It sounded so stupid. It took him about an hour of weighing the possibilities before he finally settled on ‘Happy Thanksgiving, Reid. I hope you’re doing well. Luke.”
He wasn’t completely satisfied with it, but is was the best he could think of.
He typed the short message in and then his thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button. Then with sudden determination he pressed send and immediately threw his phone on his bed and ran downstairs.
“So, I sent Reid a text.” He said casually while sitting down next to Casey, who was lounging on the couch, reading a magazine.
Casey jumped up and enveloped him in a hug. “Well done! Good for you, man!”
Then he pulled back and looked at Luke expectantly. “And?”
Luke grimaced. “I don’t know. I threw my phone out of sight and came downstairs.”
“Why?” Casey laughed. “Don’t you want to know his reply?”
“Don’t laught at me, this is really serious, Case. What if he doesn’t answer? Or… what if he does and it’s …” Luke shook his head.
“As I said before, then you’ll know. And that’s better than staying in the dark.” Casey stopped laughing, but kept smiling. He squeezed Luke’s shoulder in support. “Come on, go get your phone and we’ll go out. Take your mind of things.” And he gave Luke a little push against his shoulder in the direction of the door.
“Yo’s?” Luke asked as he did as Casey asked. “Shoot some pool?”
“Sure.” Casey replied, while pulling his shoes from under the table.
Luke took the stairs two at the time and contemplated putting on a clean shirt, when he saw his phone laying on the bed with the screen lit up, indicating he received some kind of message in the previous minutes.
Immediately his heart rate picked up and he snagged up the phone to look who tried to reach him.
Thanks! You too. Things are good. How are you? Reid
It was short and nothing special really, but Luke couldn’t help but do a small happy dance. He let himself fall onto his bed with his phone clutched in his hand.
He re-read the message few times, smiling because it just like Reid, not fuss and to the point.
Luke briefly considered not replying immediately, because he didn’t want to come across as too eager or demanding, but then again, Reid hadn’t wasted anytime texting him back…
I’m good. My job is amazing, I love it and I’m learning everyday. I’m living with Casey now, as friends (Luke felt it was vital to emphasize that last part). He’s dealing with some stuff. It’s fun though. Reminds me of the summer… Luke.
He’d meant it as a bit of a joke, but when Luke hit ‘send’, he realized that living with Casey did remind him of how they lived during the summer, it reminded him of the carefree time they spent at the beach. And even though he really loved his job, a part of Luke wanted to go back there and just enjoy life as it came every day. The easy way he and Reid fell into step with each other, no expectations, just enjoying every day, was something he missed.
During his relationship with Noah, Luke had often wondered and worried about the future. It was hard for him to enjoy their everyday-life together, he was constantly trying to appease Noah and try to fit himself into Noah’s life. It took him too long to realize that Noah never really made room for him. Not permanently.
You need Casey to remind you of last summer? I must have done something wrong… Reid
Luke barked out a surprised laugh. Just like that, with a few texts, he felt like the months he had no contact with Reid melted away and they picked up right where they left off.
Grinning he quickly started to text Reid back.
About half an hour later, Casey - who had been waiting for Luke downstairs, came up to see what was keeping Luke.
He peeked through Luke’s open door and found him laying on his bed, reading something on his phone with red cheeks.
“Whatcha doin’?” Casey suddenly said, startling Luke into shrieking and almost dropping the phone.
Casey started laughing and it didn’t take long for Luke to join in.
“Asshole.” Luke laughed.
Casey grinned. “I couldn’t help myself.” He nodded towards Luke. “What were you so focused on?”
Luke’s cheeks flushed and he couldn’t help the goofy grin that spread over his face. “Reid texted back.”
“Ah…, that explains why you didn’t come back down.”
“I’m sorry, I totally forgot.” Luke apologized, sitting up straight.
“It’s okay. But I guess we’re staying in tonight?” Casey asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah, I guess we are. We can go tomorrow though?” Luke suggested, feeling a little bit guilty about ditching Casey for Reid.
“Sure.” Casey said easily. He didn’t really care, only wanted to go out to take Luke’s mind of Reid. “I think I’m going to bed early.”
Luke frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, Luke. I’m fine. I just want to clear my head a little bit and maybe a good night’s sleep will do that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke offered hesitantly.
“No. Not now anyway. But maybe later.” Casey said. “You enjoy your texts with hot doc.” He wiggled his eyebrows. ‘
Luke laughed and threw a pillow at him. “Shut up.”
*
Luke lóved his work at the hospital. He loved almost everything about it. Every day was different and even though he always felt dead tired after the end of his shift, he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do for a living.
When he returned from his summer job, he looked forward to starting his job at the hospital. He still had a few days to adjust again and get ready for his first day.
He had visited his family, enjoyed spending time with them, especially with his brother and sisters, but at the same time he was happy he had his own place.
His mother's seemingly innocent questions about how he spend his summer and with who, started to annoy him quickly. It didn't help that his ex still lived at his mother's house and even though he usually wasn't home when Luke visited (Luke made sure of that), there were things that reminded Luke of him everywhere. Clothes, personal items and sometimes Luke could even smell his cologne.
It made Luke not want to go to his mother's house anymore so instead he started to invite his siblings to his apartment.
He tried not to think about a certain neurosurgeon who made his summer an incredible experience, and focus on his job.
And it worked, to some extend. But when he came home after a long shift and crawled into bed exhausted, his mind always drifted to blue eyes, capable hands with slender fingers and strong arms that could keep Luke warm. Sometimes he let his mind go further and he pleasured himself with thoughts of Reid, of Reid's body and how he could make Luke feel.
But there were nights that he couldn't sleep, no matter how tired he was. Nights that his mind was filled with images of him and Reid being together, just living their life. Those nights were difficult, when he tossed and turned and wasn't able to grasp hold of any sleep.
His feelings for Reid were the same as the day Reid left him standing outside his house. If anything, they seemed to get stronger, but still... he hadn't tried to contact Reid.
It wasn't that Luke wasn't content with his life, because he was. He had a great job, great friends and he loved his family, crazy as they were. But he did miss something extra in his life. He missed someone to call his own, someone to care of, to love and to spend his days and nights with. And he wanted Reid to be that one.
But if his past relationship taught him anything, then he wasn't going to run after Reid. He had done that with his ex for a long time and it had gotten him nowhere. He'd been called clingy, overbearing and smothering. And even though Luke didn't really understand why, because why would you not want to take care of the one you love or spend time with them, the experience had made him careful.
Caring for people was in his nature, otherwise he wouldn't have become a nurse, but he had become cautious in how far he wanted to go with giving his care and affection in his personal life.
He had to be sure it was wanted by the person he gave it to. And he wasn’t sure Reid was in the same place as he was.
*
The moment Luke turned the key to unlock the door to his apartment, his phone started ringing. He recognized the ringtone he assigned to his mother and sighed. After the day the had, he was not in the mood for fending off the remarks about his life. So for a moment he contemplated not picking up, but he knew she would call him until he picked up.
Luke kicked the door shut behind him and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“Hi mom.” Luke let himself fall down on the couch when he greeted his mother.
“Hey sweetie. How are you?”
“I just came home from work and I’m tired.” He rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t lying, he really was tired.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” His mother asked concerned.
“No mom, it’s fine. I’m just gonna grab something to eat and then go to bed early.” Luke answered.
“Thanks for the offer, though.” He added, because he did appreciate her concern.
“So… how have you been? I haven’t seen you much lately.” His mother asked.
Luke stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen to inspect if there was anything edible left in there.
“I’ve just been busy, mom. You know, new job and all. It takes time to get used to everything. And I need to focus on that, I just don’t have the time or energy for much else.”
He found a container with left-overs that grandma Emma had given to him yesterday, telling him he needed to eat healthy if he was so busy all the time.
“I know, I know. I just don’t want you to over-work yourself. You need to take care of yourself, sweetie. Especially in your condition.” She added.
“Mom, I don’t have a condition." Luke said. "And I am taking care of myself. In fact, I'm about to eat some of grandma's meatloaf, so really, there nothing to be concerned about. And I don't think I can overwork myself in two months." He put the container in the microwave, adjusted the time and pressed 'start'.
"Maybe not." His mother laughed a little. "But I can't help but worry about you." Luke then heard some noise in the background. He stared at the microwave, counting down the seconds till his food was ready.
"Noah says hi." His mother's voice sounded again.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Thanks. Listen, my food is almost ready, so I'm gonna go, okay?" He said, ending the call abruptly. “Bye mom.”
He pressed ‘end’ and tossed the phone onto the countertop, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. He would celebrate the day his mother could have a conversation with him without mentioning Noah.
The microwave dinged, indicated his food was warm. Luke pulled out the plate and moved to sit on the couch. He turned on the TV, searched for something to watch on Netflix and ate quietly. Just as he was finishing up washing his plate, his phone rang again. Casey.
“Hey Case, what’s up?” Luke cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder, while he dried off his plate.
“Luke! Do you have any plans for Halloween?” Casey asked very enthousiastically.
“Maybe I’ll take Ethan trick or treating, but I haven’t checked with my mom yet. Why?”
“You want to hang out later? I could come over?” Casey said.
Luke frowned. It wasn’t like Casey to stay in on any holiday, but especially not on Halloween. “Don’t you have a standing invitation from Malone’s?” Casey was notorious for partying hard at Malone’s, a bar in the centre of town.
“Yeah.” Casey sighed. “But I’m not feeling it this year. I don’t know. Maybe… maybe I just want to spend some time with my best bro!”
Luke snorted. “We see each other more than once a week, Case. What’s going on?”
It stayed silent for a few moments. Then Casey said, “Allison doesn’t know if she wants to go through with the wedding.”
“What?” Luke was stunned. Allison had been the one to press Casey into marrying her, Casey had just wanted to make her happy. “Why?”
“Well, apparently she doesn’t know if I’m the one.” Casey said with emphasis on ‘the one’.
“Wow. That’s rough.. “ Luke said empathically. “You didn’t see it coming?”
“I don’t know, maybe? She’s been a little distant lately, but I thought she was just busy and tired, you know? But turns out, she’s been having coffee with Chris, her ex and my uncle.”
“Are you serious?” Luke was shocked. “Did she cheat on you?” Again, Luke added silently.
“She says she didn’t, but right now, I don’t know what to believe.” Casey sounded downright miserable.
“Did you break up or… “ Luke hesitantly asked.
“Not yet. But right now, everything is messed up. On one hand I want to convince her that we áre meant te be, but after everything we’ve been through… I mean if she still has doubts after all this time then I don’t know what to do about it.”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it. It’s something that she has to feel and know in her heart to be true. When she doesn’t… I don’t know what to tell you right now.” It was hard hearing his best friend in pain, but Luke didn’t know how to fix it. “Do you want me to go talk to her?”
“No, that’s alright. I don’t know if that would make it better or worse.”
“Thanks.” Luke said in a mock-offense tone.
It made Casey laugh for a moment, but then he got serious again. “It’s just difficult, being here with her. I don’t know how to act, you know? Do I pretend everything is fine or do I ignore her or what?”
He sighed again.
Luke sat up straighter. “You know, if you wanted to get away for a while, you can always stay with me, if you want? I have an extra room, you know that.”
“Really?” Casey “Because I could be there in about 30 minutes.”
“Wow, you really do want to get out.” Luke laughed.
“Yeah, but if it’s inconvenient… I mean, it doesn’t have to be tonight.”
“Just get your ass over here, Case. I’ll make sure the spare room is ready for you.”
“Thank you Luke. Really, thank you.” Casey’s voice was thin but sincere.
“No need to thank me, you’re my best friend. Now, come on, I’ll see you soon.”
Luke ended the call and fell backwards into the pillows. He couldn’t wrap his head around what Casey had just told him. In his eyes, Allison and Casey were great together. Sure, they had their … up and downs, so to speak, but in the end they really loved each other. Or, at least, that what Luke thought.
Luke rubbed his eyes for a moment, then pushed himself off the couch to go put clean sheets on the bed in the spare room.
*
Living with Casey turned out to be both annoying and great. Annoying because Casey was messy, like really messy and didn’t clean anything. But great because he cooked amazing meals and made sure the fridge was always stocked with everything Luke liked.
Like Casey wanted, they’d stayed home on Halloween and watched old horror movies. It was fun and they felt like going back to all the summers they lived together at the beach. Maybe it was because of this that Casey brought up the subject of ‘Reid’ to Luke.
“Do you ever think about that doctor? The one you met this summer?” He asked one evening, seemingly innocent while mashing up potatoes for diner.
Luke almost choked on the coke he was drinking and coughed violently. “Jeez, warn a guy, will you?” He wheezed.
Casey looked at him amused. “I think I got my answer.” He said in a sing-song voice.
Luke tried to throw a napkin at his head, but the air worked against him and it fell limply between them.
“Shut up.”
“Very mature.”
“Shut up.”
Casey finished mashing the potatoes and pulled out two plates. He loaded them up with meat, vegetables and the potatoes. He then put on the plates in front of Luke and sat down across from him with his own plate.
“I’m serious though. You were pretty hung up on him then.” Casey said before stuffing his mouth.
Luke looked at his full plate miserable. “I still am.” He admitted quietly.
Casey looked at him pensive, while chewing his food. “What are you going to do about it? And don’t start with the ‘I don’t want to be clingy’ thing. Because sending him a text or calling him is not clingy and you know it.”
Luke shrugged. He started eating hoping it would get him out of answering to Casey. But Casey didn’t let go this time. He knew what Luke in love looked like and he was determined to urge Luke to follow his heart.
Luke swallowed and said, “It’s not what we agreed upon. It was just for the summer and nothing more.”
“But you didn’t know then how you would feel now.” Casey argued.
“True, but that doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like he has tried to contact me.” Luke shoved another mouthful into his mouth.
Casey looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. “Is that what this is about? Are you afraid he doesn’t feel the same way?”
Luke sighed. “Of course I’m afraid he doesn’t feel the same way. What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me now? Besides he’s not a relationship-kind-of-person. He said so himself. What good would it do me to set myself up for rejection?”
Casey leaned forward to catch Luke’s eyes. “Then you’ll know and you can move on. It’s been months now and you’re still in love with him even without seeing him or talking to him. It’s time to do something.”
Luke stared at his best friend. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about doing exactly what Casey was saying. But the fear of rejection was always bigger than his courage. But Casey was right. He couldn’t hang on to a dream, it was better and healthier to know for sure where he stood. He felt like maybe now he could actually do it.
“You’re right.” He told Casey.
“What?”
Luke laughed at Casey’s face. “What, you didn’t think I would agree with you?”
“Oh, I know you agree with me, I just didn’t know if you’d be man enough to admit it.” Casey grinned.
Luke narrowed his eyes at him. “There are so many ways I could go with that sentence that I’m not even going to bother.”
Casey just laughed.
They finished eating and Luke cleaned everything up, since Casey had cooked.
Luke went to his room and sat down on his bed. He stared at his phone for a long time, trying to find the courage to do what he wanted to do.
Finally, he opened his list of contacts and found Reid easily. But then the problem was, what to say?
Just ‘hello?’ or ‘How are you?’. It sounded so stupid. It took him about an hour of weighing the possibilities before he finally settled on ‘Happy Thanksgiving, Reid. I hope you’re doing well. Luke.”
He wasn’t completely satisfied with it, but is was the best he could think of.
He typed the short message in and then his thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button. Then with sudden determination he pressed send and immediately threw his phone on his bed and ran downstairs.
“So, I sent Reid a text.” He said casually while sitting down next to Casey, who was lounging on the couch, reading a magazine.
Casey jumped up and enveloped him in a hug. “Well done! Good for you, man!”
Then he pulled back and looked at Luke expectantly. “And?”
Luke grimaced. “I don’t know. I threw my phone out of sight and came downstairs.”
“Why?” Casey laughed. “Don’t you want to know his reply?”
“Don’t laught at me, this is really serious, Case. What if he doesn’t answer? Or… what if he does and it’s …” Luke shook his head.
“As I said before, then you’ll know. And that’s better than staying in the dark.” Casey stopped laughing, but kept smiling. He squeezed Luke’s shoulder in support. “Come on, go get your phone and we’ll go out. Take your mind of things.” And he gave Luke a little push against his shoulder in the direction of the door.
“Yo’s?” Luke asked as he did as Casey asked. “Shoot some pool?”
“Sure.” Casey replied, while pulling his shoes from under the table.
Luke took the stairs two at the time and contemplated putting on a clean shirt, when he saw his phone laying on the bed with the screen lit up, indicating he received some kind of message in the previous minutes.
Immediately his heart rate picked up and he snagged up the phone to look who tried to reach him.
Thanks! You too. Things are good. How are you? Reid
It was short and nothing special really, but Luke couldn’t help but do a small happy dance. He let himself fall onto his bed with his phone clutched in his hand.
He re-read the message few times, smiling because it just like Reid, not fuss and to the point.
Luke briefly considered not replying immediately, because he didn’t want to come across as too eager or demanding, but then again, Reid hadn’t wasted anytime texting him back…
I’m good. My job is amazing, I love it and I’m learning everyday. I’m living with Casey now, as friends (Luke felt it was vital to emphasize that last part). He’s dealing with some stuff. It’s fun though. Reminds me of the summer… Luke.
He’d meant it as a bit of a joke, but when Luke hit ‘send’, he realized that living with Casey did remind him of how they lived during the summer, it reminded him of the carefree time they spent at the beach. And even though he really loved his job, a part of Luke wanted to go back there and just enjoy life as it came every day. The easy way he and Reid fell into step with each other, no expectations, just enjoying every day, was something he missed.
During his relationship with Noah, Luke had often wondered and worried about the future. It was hard for him to enjoy their everyday-life together, he was constantly trying to appease Noah and try to fit himself into Noah’s life. It took him too long to realize that Noah never really made room for him. Not permanently.
You need Casey to remind you of last summer? I must have done something wrong… Reid
Luke barked out a surprised laugh. Just like that, with a few texts, he felt like the months he had no contact with Reid melted away and they picked up right where they left off.
Grinning he quickly started to text Reid back.
About half an hour later, Casey - who had been waiting for Luke downstairs, came up to see what was keeping Luke.
He peeked through Luke’s open door and found him laying on his bed, reading something on his phone with red cheeks.
“Whatcha doin’?” Casey suddenly said, startling Luke into shrieking and almost dropping the phone.
Casey started laughing and it didn’t take long for Luke to join in.
“Asshole.” Luke laughed.
Casey grinned. “I couldn’t help myself.” He nodded towards Luke. “What were you so focused on?”
Luke’s cheeks flushed and he couldn’t help the goofy grin that spread over his face. “Reid texted back.”
“Ah…, that explains why you didn’t come back down.”
“I’m sorry, I totally forgot.” Luke apologized, sitting up straight.
“It’s okay. But I guess we’re staying in tonight?” Casey asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah, I guess we are. We can go tomorrow though?” Luke suggested, feeling a little bit guilty about ditching Casey for Reid.
“Sure.” Casey said easily. He didn’t really care, only wanted to go out to take Luke’s mind of Reid. “I think I’m going to bed early.”
Luke frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, Luke. I’m fine. I just want to clear my head a little bit and maybe a good night’s sleep will do that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke offered hesitantly.
“No. Not now anyway. But maybe later.” Casey said. “You enjoy your texts with hot doc.” He wiggled his eyebrows. ‘
Luke laughed and threw a pillow at him. “Shut up.”
*