Those summer nights chapter 7
Luke was buzzing with nervous excitement. He felt his heartbeat in his throat when he walked from the beach to the house. His shift had ended 10 minutes ago and he'd packed his things quickly. He'd shouted goodbye to his colleagues and friends, declining their invite to come and hang out with them. When Casey had come up to him, wiggling his eyebrows and teasing him about hooking up with the hot doctor, again, Luke hadn't even talked back, he'd just smiled and slung his bag over his shoulder, not bothering to close the zipper. He just slapped Casey on the shoulder.
"See you tomorrow, Case."
"Yeah. Sure." Casey answered, a little surprised because Luke always reacted whenever Casey teased him. Always. "Have fun with your doctor tonight."
Luke turned around and smiled wickedly. "I will."
But now, when he'd almost reached the house, his courage seemed to slip a little and his nerves began to take over. Silently he scolded himself that there was nothing to be nervous about. He was just a guy about to have sex, like many other young guys. Nothing special about it. Except that this was special to Luke and it did mean a lot. But he wanted it, oh, he wanted it badly. He couldn't remember the last time he wanted someone like this. And what he knew for sure was that Reid wanted him back just as much.
Luke took the stairs two at the time and pulled open the back door.
"Reid?" He called out. There was nobody in the room, but there were traces of Reid everywhere.
He walked across the room towards the stairs. "Reid?" He called out again.
"I'm upstairs!" Reid's voice came down muffled.
Luke bounded up the stairs, leaving his backpack(??) at the bottom of the stairs, heading straight for Reid's bedroom. He froze on the doorstep when he saw what was going in there.
"What- what are you doing?" Luke's voice was hoarse and he tried to swallow, but his mouth felt dry.
"I'm packing." Reid answer, walking back into the closet to get more of his things.
Luke's knuckles went white around the doorframe. "I can see that." He said slowly. "But why?"
For a few moments Reid didn't answer, he emerged from the closet with a armful of clothes and dumped them on the bed. He began folding all the pieces expertly before starting to explain what happened.
"I got a call from Terry. There's an emergency at the hospital that needs my expertise and skills. I have to get into the operation room as soon as possible." He said while arranging the folded pieces into his suitcase.
"Oh." Luke said, still hovering in the doorway. "How soon is that?"
Finally, Reid stopped what he was doing and stood up straight. He lifted his head and looked Luke straight in his eyes. "A taxi is on its way now, so maybe half an hour?"
"Half an hour?" Luke was shocked. That soon?
Reid sighed and walked towards Luke. He cupped Luke's cheek with one hand and stroked his cheekbone, making Luke lean into the touch.
"I'm sorry." He said. "This isn't... I didn't...."Reid sighed again. "There's nothing I can do about it. I can't say no."
Luke swallowed. "No, no, of course you can't." Then he bit his lip. "But are you coming back? He asked tentatively.
The answer came quick. "I don't think so, no."
But when Reid took in Luke's face, disappointment so obvious on it, he sighed. "Listen, I was going to leave anyway in a few days. I don't know how things will go with my patient, but I probably won't have any free time left when I'm done operating. You know how it goes, Luke."
Luke nodded briefly. "Yes, I know. It's just-... This isn't how I thought tonight would go." He said with a weak smile.
Reid moved his hand to the back of Luke's neck and pulled him forward, his other arm sliding around Luke's back.
"I know, me too." He kissed Luke quickly, but firmly. When he pulled back, Luke chased his mouth with his eyes closed, pulling Reid back into in a deeper, wetter kiss. It made Reid forget about what he was doing and he kissed Luke back, his hands gripping the fabric of Luke's shirt.
They kissed for minutes, not minding anything but the feel and taste of each other.
It was when Reid felt Luke's arousal pressing against his own, that he broke the kiss, breathing a little heavy, "We’ve gotta stop."
Luke didn't respond, he felt that if he would open his mouth right now, he would say things that Reid didn't want to hear. So he just removed his hands from their favorite place, Reid's hair, and tried to take a step back. But then Reid put his hand under Luke’s chin and lifted his head.
"Come on, you can help me pack."
Ten minutes later, everything was packed into the suitcases and they had put them in the hallway. It was then that Reid noticed Luke's bag. It was thrown against the bottom of the stairs and the contents threatened to spill out.
Reid bent down to put everything back into the bag, when he stumbled upon a familiar box between the clothes. He stared at it, his mind going in a million different directions, but stubbornly coming back to same thing: Luke was ready. He'd come here with the intention to fuck. Reid swallowed. He had been waiting for this day because he desperately wanted to bury himself into Luke's ass, make him forget everything else but Reid's name. He kept staring at the box until he heard Luke's footsteps coming down the stairs, then he sprung into action and quickly shoved everything back into the bag and closed the zipper.
"I checked the rooms again, but I don't think you forgot anything." Luke said, coming to a stop next to Reid.
Right. He was leaving and definitely not introducing his dick to Luke's ass. Or the other way around, he didn't care.
"Reid?" Luke asked, waving his hand in front of Reid when he didn't answer.
Reid just stared at him, taking him in, his eyes, his mouth with the ridiculously sexy lips, his crazy hair and broad shoulders and like that, the control he'd fought so hard to keep since Luke walked into the house, suddenly was gone.
He lunged at Luke, grabbing his face and kissing him with such force that Luke stumbled back against the wall, which was just fine with Reid. He pressed himself as close as possible to Luke's body, trying to feel all of him. "God, Luke, I want you." He murmured, kissing along Luke's cheek to his ear, licking and sucking at the soft lobe.
Luke was startled when he suddenly had his arms full of Reid, but he got on board quickly and moaned when Reid continued to suck on his neck, sliding his hands down Reid's back to pull him even closer.
Reid started to push Luke's shirt up and lowered himself to his knees when a car honked just outside, breaking the intensity of the moment.
"No, no, no..." Luke chanted, burying his hands in Reid's hair. Reid let his head lean against Luke's stomach, his breath coming out in harsh pants. "Fuck." He muttered, sliding his hands up Luke's torso again. After a few moments, he stood up again, cupped Luke's cheeks in both his hands and kissed him again. This time he kept it sweet and warm.
"I think that's me." He said, slowly moving away from Luke. He opened the front door to find the taxi waiting for him at the side of the road.
Luke pushed himself of off the wall and moved to grab one of Reid's bags. Reid took the other and together they walked towards the taxi, shoulders touching, and stuffed the bags in the trunk.
Wordlessly they made their way back to the house where Luke lifted up his own bag and Reid made sure all the lights were off before closing the front door and locking it.
"I hate goodbyes." Luke said, his hands twisting around the strap of his bag.
"Then we won't say it." Reid joked, placing his hand on Luke's arm. "Listen, I-I had a great time with you this summer, Luke, and I really wish I didn't have to go right now." Reid inhaled deeply. "But it is what it is. So, I want you to enjoy the time you have left here and when you go back and start working as a nurse, you're going to be amazing."
"Yeah?" Luke tried to smile.
"Of course. I'm never wrong." Reid said with a wink. "Oh, and don't let that ex-boyfriend of yours mess with you. Okay?"
Luke nodded, appreciating Reid's words. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest and he wanted to give something back. So he grabbed Reid's face in his hands. "And you go to your patient and be amazing, okay?" He leaned in and kissed Reid again, trying to hold all his emotions in check and be casual about never seeing Reid again, even though the kiss didn't last long, to Luke it meant everything.
When it ended, he was unable to lift his eyes and look at Reid when he pulled back, but he heard the last words "I'm sorry." whispered against his ear.
Luke didn't say anything back this time. He was trying to deal with not being ready to let go yet, not with his hands or with his heart.
He felt Reid's lips on his own one more time, just a soft press. And the next thing was the car door closing and the sound of the engine starting.
When Luke finally dared to look up, all he saw was two red lights in the distance.
After standing there, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened, he pulled out his phone.
"Are you free tonight?" Luke asked when someone on the other end picked up,
"I thought you were spending the night at Reid's?" Casey asked.
"Reid's gone." Luke's tone was flat as he was still staring off into the direction Reid disappeared in.
"What? What do you mean, gone?" Casey sounded confused.
"I mean that he's gone. He just left." Luke closed his eyes, his own words hitting him hard suddenly.
"Left as in not coming back?" Casey asked. "Where are you?"
"I'm outside his house." Luke turned to look back at the beautiful house where he spend so many happy hours with Reid.
"Okay, well... just- come home, Luke. We'll talk then, okay?" Casey said.
"Yeah, I'll be right there." Luke disconnected and hoisted his bad higher onto his shoulder.
-----
"So, what happened?" Casey asked, once Luke was home and sprawled out on the couch.
Luke had one arm slung over his eyes. "He got a call from the hospital and had to leave immediately. When I got to his house tonight, we had about 20 minutes before his taxi was there."
"Oh. Wow... that's pretty brutal, man." Casey sympathized.
Luke snorted. "Yeah, you could say that." Then he sat up. "You know what bothers me? I know we kind of agreed that this was just a summer thing, but he didn't even seem fazed. Like he didn't really care that we're never going to see each other again."
"It bothers you because you do care." Casey said softly.
Luke made a face. "I know it's stupid, but yeah... I do. I knew what I was getting into and still I let my feelings make everything difficult."
"You can't help how you feel, man. It either happens or it doesn't, you can't stop it." Casey stood up to get himself a beer and Luke a coke. He threw the can at Luke, who caught it in one hand. "Don't open it yet." Casey grinned.
Luke put it down on the coffee table and let himself fall back into the cushions. "What am I going to do now, Case? I don't want to hang on to something that is never going to be real."
"Why can't it be real though?" Casey asked, sipping his beer.
"Because- because that's... not what we agreed on." Luke said weakly.
"So? Things can change, right?"
Luke shrugged.
"Or are you scared that things have just changed for you, but not for him?" Casey asked carefully.
Luke sighed. "I don't know. He never said anything about it..."
"But neither did you." Casey interjected.
"True." Luke agreed. "That doesn't have to mean anything."
Luke's thoughts went back tot that afternoon, when Reid had sat on his lap and they just enjoyed sitting together quietly. Reid had admitted that he liked it, just sitting there watching the ocean. It definitely was a moment and it made the ache in Luke's chest hurt even more.
"I just know we could be good together, you know? There is something there. I don't want to let that go to waste." Luke said.
"Then don't." Casey said, leaning back with an easy smile.
"What?" Luke looked up, frowning.
"You still have his number right?"
"Yes?" Luke answered hesitantly.
"So? It's not like he dropped of the face of the earth? You can easily stay in touch. Jesus, Luke, it's not like you to be this dense." Casey said a little exasperated.
Luke's frown got deeper. "I don't want to go against his wishes, Case. He'll resent me for it, and he'll think I'm clingy. We both know he wouldn't be the first."
"Luke, stop it." Casey said sharply. "We're not going down that road again."
The sharpness in Casey's voice made Luke look up and look at his best friend. He saw the concern in Casey's eyes and it moved him. He really couldn't ask for a better friend than Casey.
Out of the blue, Luke suddenly said, "I love you, Case. And thank you for being here for me." His eyes suddenly stung.
Casey leaned forward, put his hand on Luke's knee and squeezed gently. "Anytime. And I love you too." He stood up and stretched out his arms. "I think I'm going out for a while. You wanna come?"
"No thanks." Luke answered, gently opening up the coke can. "I'm not in the mood."
"Okay, you get this one night to mope, but after that you're coming with me, you hear?" Casey warned.
"We'll see." Luke laughed.
"I'll see you tomorrow, amigo. And in the meantime, think about what I said." And with that, Casey was gone.
Luke sat back, flipped on the TV and tried to focus on what he saw. But after about 10 minutes, he gave up and switched the tv off. It was no use; he couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was how different this day ended than Luke had thought this morning. Now that Reid had left-that their 'thing' was over, he couldn't help but think that maybe he should have given up his inhibitions sooner. But if he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn't ready before. It would not have been a good experience, no matter how much he liked Reid.
Luke sighed. It didn't even matter now. He was back to spending nights alone.
*
"See you tomorrow, Case."
"Yeah. Sure." Casey answered, a little surprised because Luke always reacted whenever Casey teased him. Always. "Have fun with your doctor tonight."
Luke turned around and smiled wickedly. "I will."
But now, when he'd almost reached the house, his courage seemed to slip a little and his nerves began to take over. Silently he scolded himself that there was nothing to be nervous about. He was just a guy about to have sex, like many other young guys. Nothing special about it. Except that this was special to Luke and it did mean a lot. But he wanted it, oh, he wanted it badly. He couldn't remember the last time he wanted someone like this. And what he knew for sure was that Reid wanted him back just as much.
Luke took the stairs two at the time and pulled open the back door.
"Reid?" He called out. There was nobody in the room, but there were traces of Reid everywhere.
He walked across the room towards the stairs. "Reid?" He called out again.
"I'm upstairs!" Reid's voice came down muffled.
Luke bounded up the stairs, leaving his backpack(??) at the bottom of the stairs, heading straight for Reid's bedroom. He froze on the doorstep when he saw what was going in there.
"What- what are you doing?" Luke's voice was hoarse and he tried to swallow, but his mouth felt dry.
"I'm packing." Reid answer, walking back into the closet to get more of his things.
Luke's knuckles went white around the doorframe. "I can see that." He said slowly. "But why?"
For a few moments Reid didn't answer, he emerged from the closet with a armful of clothes and dumped them on the bed. He began folding all the pieces expertly before starting to explain what happened.
"I got a call from Terry. There's an emergency at the hospital that needs my expertise and skills. I have to get into the operation room as soon as possible." He said while arranging the folded pieces into his suitcase.
"Oh." Luke said, still hovering in the doorway. "How soon is that?"
Finally, Reid stopped what he was doing and stood up straight. He lifted his head and looked Luke straight in his eyes. "A taxi is on its way now, so maybe half an hour?"
"Half an hour?" Luke was shocked. That soon?
Reid sighed and walked towards Luke. He cupped Luke's cheek with one hand and stroked his cheekbone, making Luke lean into the touch.
"I'm sorry." He said. "This isn't... I didn't...."Reid sighed again. "There's nothing I can do about it. I can't say no."
Luke swallowed. "No, no, of course you can't." Then he bit his lip. "But are you coming back? He asked tentatively.
The answer came quick. "I don't think so, no."
But when Reid took in Luke's face, disappointment so obvious on it, he sighed. "Listen, I was going to leave anyway in a few days. I don't know how things will go with my patient, but I probably won't have any free time left when I'm done operating. You know how it goes, Luke."
Luke nodded briefly. "Yes, I know. It's just-... This isn't how I thought tonight would go." He said with a weak smile.
Reid moved his hand to the back of Luke's neck and pulled him forward, his other arm sliding around Luke's back.
"I know, me too." He kissed Luke quickly, but firmly. When he pulled back, Luke chased his mouth with his eyes closed, pulling Reid back into in a deeper, wetter kiss. It made Reid forget about what he was doing and he kissed Luke back, his hands gripping the fabric of Luke's shirt.
They kissed for minutes, not minding anything but the feel and taste of each other.
It was when Reid felt Luke's arousal pressing against his own, that he broke the kiss, breathing a little heavy, "We’ve gotta stop."
Luke didn't respond, he felt that if he would open his mouth right now, he would say things that Reid didn't want to hear. So he just removed his hands from their favorite place, Reid's hair, and tried to take a step back. But then Reid put his hand under Luke’s chin and lifted his head.
"Come on, you can help me pack."
Ten minutes later, everything was packed into the suitcases and they had put them in the hallway. It was then that Reid noticed Luke's bag. It was thrown against the bottom of the stairs and the contents threatened to spill out.
Reid bent down to put everything back into the bag, when he stumbled upon a familiar box between the clothes. He stared at it, his mind going in a million different directions, but stubbornly coming back to same thing: Luke was ready. He'd come here with the intention to fuck. Reid swallowed. He had been waiting for this day because he desperately wanted to bury himself into Luke's ass, make him forget everything else but Reid's name. He kept staring at the box until he heard Luke's footsteps coming down the stairs, then he sprung into action and quickly shoved everything back into the bag and closed the zipper.
"I checked the rooms again, but I don't think you forgot anything." Luke said, coming to a stop next to Reid.
Right. He was leaving and definitely not introducing his dick to Luke's ass. Or the other way around, he didn't care.
"Reid?" Luke asked, waving his hand in front of Reid when he didn't answer.
Reid just stared at him, taking him in, his eyes, his mouth with the ridiculously sexy lips, his crazy hair and broad shoulders and like that, the control he'd fought so hard to keep since Luke walked into the house, suddenly was gone.
He lunged at Luke, grabbing his face and kissing him with such force that Luke stumbled back against the wall, which was just fine with Reid. He pressed himself as close as possible to Luke's body, trying to feel all of him. "God, Luke, I want you." He murmured, kissing along Luke's cheek to his ear, licking and sucking at the soft lobe.
Luke was startled when he suddenly had his arms full of Reid, but he got on board quickly and moaned when Reid continued to suck on his neck, sliding his hands down Reid's back to pull him even closer.
Reid started to push Luke's shirt up and lowered himself to his knees when a car honked just outside, breaking the intensity of the moment.
"No, no, no..." Luke chanted, burying his hands in Reid's hair. Reid let his head lean against Luke's stomach, his breath coming out in harsh pants. "Fuck." He muttered, sliding his hands up Luke's torso again. After a few moments, he stood up again, cupped Luke's cheeks in both his hands and kissed him again. This time he kept it sweet and warm.
"I think that's me." He said, slowly moving away from Luke. He opened the front door to find the taxi waiting for him at the side of the road.
Luke pushed himself of off the wall and moved to grab one of Reid's bags. Reid took the other and together they walked towards the taxi, shoulders touching, and stuffed the bags in the trunk.
Wordlessly they made their way back to the house where Luke lifted up his own bag and Reid made sure all the lights were off before closing the front door and locking it.
"I hate goodbyes." Luke said, his hands twisting around the strap of his bag.
"Then we won't say it." Reid joked, placing his hand on Luke's arm. "Listen, I-I had a great time with you this summer, Luke, and I really wish I didn't have to go right now." Reid inhaled deeply. "But it is what it is. So, I want you to enjoy the time you have left here and when you go back and start working as a nurse, you're going to be amazing."
"Yeah?" Luke tried to smile.
"Of course. I'm never wrong." Reid said with a wink. "Oh, and don't let that ex-boyfriend of yours mess with you. Okay?"
Luke nodded, appreciating Reid's words. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest and he wanted to give something back. So he grabbed Reid's face in his hands. "And you go to your patient and be amazing, okay?" He leaned in and kissed Reid again, trying to hold all his emotions in check and be casual about never seeing Reid again, even though the kiss didn't last long, to Luke it meant everything.
When it ended, he was unable to lift his eyes and look at Reid when he pulled back, but he heard the last words "I'm sorry." whispered against his ear.
Luke didn't say anything back this time. He was trying to deal with not being ready to let go yet, not with his hands or with his heart.
He felt Reid's lips on his own one more time, just a soft press. And the next thing was the car door closing and the sound of the engine starting.
When Luke finally dared to look up, all he saw was two red lights in the distance.
After standing there, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened, he pulled out his phone.
"Are you free tonight?" Luke asked when someone on the other end picked up,
"I thought you were spending the night at Reid's?" Casey asked.
"Reid's gone." Luke's tone was flat as he was still staring off into the direction Reid disappeared in.
"What? What do you mean, gone?" Casey sounded confused.
"I mean that he's gone. He just left." Luke closed his eyes, his own words hitting him hard suddenly.
"Left as in not coming back?" Casey asked. "Where are you?"
"I'm outside his house." Luke turned to look back at the beautiful house where he spend so many happy hours with Reid.
"Okay, well... just- come home, Luke. We'll talk then, okay?" Casey said.
"Yeah, I'll be right there." Luke disconnected and hoisted his bad higher onto his shoulder.
-----
"So, what happened?" Casey asked, once Luke was home and sprawled out on the couch.
Luke had one arm slung over his eyes. "He got a call from the hospital and had to leave immediately. When I got to his house tonight, we had about 20 minutes before his taxi was there."
"Oh. Wow... that's pretty brutal, man." Casey sympathized.
Luke snorted. "Yeah, you could say that." Then he sat up. "You know what bothers me? I know we kind of agreed that this was just a summer thing, but he didn't even seem fazed. Like he didn't really care that we're never going to see each other again."
"It bothers you because you do care." Casey said softly.
Luke made a face. "I know it's stupid, but yeah... I do. I knew what I was getting into and still I let my feelings make everything difficult."
"You can't help how you feel, man. It either happens or it doesn't, you can't stop it." Casey stood up to get himself a beer and Luke a coke. He threw the can at Luke, who caught it in one hand. "Don't open it yet." Casey grinned.
Luke put it down on the coffee table and let himself fall back into the cushions. "What am I going to do now, Case? I don't want to hang on to something that is never going to be real."
"Why can't it be real though?" Casey asked, sipping his beer.
"Because- because that's... not what we agreed on." Luke said weakly.
"So? Things can change, right?"
Luke shrugged.
"Or are you scared that things have just changed for you, but not for him?" Casey asked carefully.
Luke sighed. "I don't know. He never said anything about it..."
"But neither did you." Casey interjected.
"True." Luke agreed. "That doesn't have to mean anything."
Luke's thoughts went back tot that afternoon, when Reid had sat on his lap and they just enjoyed sitting together quietly. Reid had admitted that he liked it, just sitting there watching the ocean. It definitely was a moment and it made the ache in Luke's chest hurt even more.
"I just know we could be good together, you know? There is something there. I don't want to let that go to waste." Luke said.
"Then don't." Casey said, leaning back with an easy smile.
"What?" Luke looked up, frowning.
"You still have his number right?"
"Yes?" Luke answered hesitantly.
"So? It's not like he dropped of the face of the earth? You can easily stay in touch. Jesus, Luke, it's not like you to be this dense." Casey said a little exasperated.
Luke's frown got deeper. "I don't want to go against his wishes, Case. He'll resent me for it, and he'll think I'm clingy. We both know he wouldn't be the first."
"Luke, stop it." Casey said sharply. "We're not going down that road again."
The sharpness in Casey's voice made Luke look up and look at his best friend. He saw the concern in Casey's eyes and it moved him. He really couldn't ask for a better friend than Casey.
Out of the blue, Luke suddenly said, "I love you, Case. And thank you for being here for me." His eyes suddenly stung.
Casey leaned forward, put his hand on Luke's knee and squeezed gently. "Anytime. And I love you too." He stood up and stretched out his arms. "I think I'm going out for a while. You wanna come?"
"No thanks." Luke answered, gently opening up the coke can. "I'm not in the mood."
"Okay, you get this one night to mope, but after that you're coming with me, you hear?" Casey warned.
"We'll see." Luke laughed.
"I'll see you tomorrow, amigo. And in the meantime, think about what I said." And with that, Casey was gone.
Luke sat back, flipped on the TV and tried to focus on what he saw. But after about 10 minutes, he gave up and switched the tv off. It was no use; he couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was how different this day ended than Luke had thought this morning. Now that Reid had left-that their 'thing' was over, he couldn't help but think that maybe he should have given up his inhibitions sooner. But if he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn't ready before. It would not have been a good experience, no matter how much he liked Reid.
Luke sighed. It didn't even matter now. He was back to spending nights alone.
*