just a short one
well...beks 18th was...really really fun...for me neways hahaa. had an absolute ball. umm..kinda a bit too much to type about. but heapsa fun..lotsa stupid things sed. lotsa good and bad and random things. a couple of embarrassing things. i was just shocked at how much truth i told...sometimes repetitively. at least i kinda had control over big things that i couldn't tell...i wonder what woulda happened if i didn't have to work the next day...def prob woulda drunk more, if i coulda been bothered to get them. instead on enlisting slaves which i kinda did...hmm i'm really not too pleasant to be around hahhaa esp. if ur sober.
mum was actually ok with it hahaaa...i didn't think she'd get angry tho actually. she just tut-tutted me and sed i was silly lol oh well..and i was still a bit off when i was in bed and had another 'down'/sad reaction...continuing on from the ones i had at beks..lol strange..not strange..more pitiful i guess.
and i dunno if its a good thing or bad thing to remember most of what happened.. there are things that i kinda half want and don't want to remember and some things that i just wish i didn't see/hear cos i remember them and therefore it still plays on my mind. which is kind of annoying.
ergh...i need my 2nd/3rd journals...where are u!!!??
so neway, after the party, went home, slept for a lil...WORKED.
SLEPT 16 hours straight...i really didn't think that was poss. and there i thought i'd just take a one hour nap sunday arvo.
and today i went to Host Scheme Day. and i had a great time :) met some new people: kate, marina, erin, umm..chris' friend, he was real nice...name escapes me tho..tim? steve? haha i dunno whooopz!, adam *just*, caught up w/ sophie and doug a bit...saw some Camp 3 ppl around..skirted around others...and saw quite a few VSC ppl as well.
neways...ate lotsa free food n stuff..nice atmostphere. have another similar thing on thurs.
so after meeting some more new, interesting people today and experiencing that night at beks and pretty much an accumulation of years of....stuff (hmm i think its called 'growing up') i need TIMEOUT from some things and some people...just to get my head around things...which is different from Me-Time. like..i think 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' reallly does work. like, i really miss some people from highschool or primary cos they're friends...or i just miss seeing people in general who i've never really spoken to but who i enjoy being around cos they make me laugh or whatever.
umm...like this guy called ian in primary...he was SO annoying...we used to have these dumb races to get home or something..and i really quite hated him, he wasn't very nice that much and was very know-it-all...but he just made me laugh. and ryan too, similar situation. carolynn and emily and sarah, i used to hang out w/ them a lot and they were fantastic friends but when i moved school..pfft...didn't exactly miss them too much.
u hate them, u find them annoying and sometimes, u like them heaps! but then, if they're gone perhaps for a bit, u find out whether u really enjoyed their company or not BUT...as in the case of ian/ryan etc. its really GONE.
but its actually quite hard to get TIMEOUT time cos most of the time i don't actually WANT it, but feel i NEED it. its hard when u need something but don't want it..like...medicine...dentists...
so i guess that what my cousin meant about just NOT having most of ur highschool friends with u nemore when u start uni. maybe she just wanted to 'get away' and just left for too long and in turn...found a few 'replacements' (sounds awful).
hmmm soo...i told amy i'm going to her concert thing on wednesday night...meh i got nothing better to do mosta this week..y not...and i BLOODY owe it to her!!! i've 'turned her down' perhaps a coupla dozen times in the...TWELVE YEARS i've lived next to her and i haven't SEEN her in TWELVE YEARS. jeeez 12...doesn't seem that long!
neways...i feel quite awful now come to think of it...i'll have me-time at the library tomorrow to reflect i guess.
edit: i just wanna roll up into a ball.
edit: i'm just tired and listening to keith urban >.
mum was actually ok with it hahaaa...i didn't think she'd get angry tho actually. she just tut-tutted me and sed i was silly lol oh well..and i was still a bit off when i was in bed and had another 'down'/sad reaction...continuing on from the ones i had at beks..lol strange..not strange..more pitiful i guess.
and i dunno if its a good thing or bad thing to remember most of what happened.. there are things that i kinda half want and don't want to remember and some things that i just wish i didn't see/hear cos i remember them and therefore it still plays on my mind. which is kind of annoying.
ergh...i need my 2nd/3rd journals...where are u!!!??
so neway, after the party, went home, slept for a lil...WORKED.
SLEPT 16 hours straight...i really didn't think that was poss. and there i thought i'd just take a one hour nap sunday arvo.
and today i went to Host Scheme Day. and i had a great time :) met some new people: kate, marina, erin, umm..chris' friend, he was real nice...name escapes me tho..tim? steve? haha i dunno whooopz!, adam *just*, caught up w/ sophie and doug a bit...saw some Camp 3 ppl around..skirted around others...and saw quite a few VSC ppl as well.
neways...ate lotsa free food n stuff..nice atmostphere. have another similar thing on thurs.
so after meeting some more new, interesting people today and experiencing that night at beks and pretty much an accumulation of years of....stuff (hmm i think its called 'growing up') i need TIMEOUT from some things and some people...just to get my head around things...which is different from Me-Time. like..i think 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' reallly does work. like, i really miss some people from highschool or primary cos they're friends...or i just miss seeing people in general who i've never really spoken to but who i enjoy being around cos they make me laugh or whatever.
umm...like this guy called ian in primary...he was SO annoying...we used to have these dumb races to get home or something..and i really quite hated him, he wasn't very nice that much and was very know-it-all...but he just made me laugh. and ryan too, similar situation. carolynn and emily and sarah, i used to hang out w/ them a lot and they were fantastic friends but when i moved school..pfft...didn't exactly miss them too much.
u hate them, u find them annoying and sometimes, u like them heaps! but then, if they're gone perhaps for a bit, u find out whether u really enjoyed their company or not BUT...as in the case of ian/ryan etc. its really GONE.
but its actually quite hard to get TIMEOUT time cos most of the time i don't actually WANT it, but feel i NEED it. its hard when u need something but don't want it..like...medicine...dentists...
so i guess that what my cousin meant about just NOT having most of ur highschool friends with u nemore when u start uni. maybe she just wanted to 'get away' and just left for too long and in turn...found a few 'replacements' (sounds awful).
hmmm soo...i told amy i'm going to her concert thing on wednesday night...meh i got nothing better to do mosta this week..y not...and i BLOODY owe it to her!!! i've 'turned her down' perhaps a coupla dozen times in the...TWELVE YEARS i've lived next to her and i haven't SEEN her in TWELVE YEARS. jeeez 12...doesn't seem that long!
neways...i feel quite awful now come to think of it...i'll have me-time at the library tomorrow to reflect i guess.
edit: i just wanna roll up into a ball.
edit: i'm just tired and listening to keith urban >.