Because you. you just know. you just do
Stress is arriving. It was here but tolerable. no longer. Classes have ended but the work has just tripled. I'm trying to get things done but it goes slowly or it works against me. I have to get my apartment sublet, and I want it to just be DONE but I can't MAKE people have interest in it, and MAKE them need my furniture. Luckily Parrish and I aren't too worried about apartments for next year. She will make it so much fun. I have to admit, however, I already miss my apartment on Roy.
I have a final I should be doing. It's a take home, and not TOO much work, except I haven't done much of the readings. And then papers, an essay, most importantly my application for summer and the application for the scholarship to go. FUCK they should have been done last month.
Last night brando and I were going to head to benelux to get a beer. It's two for one night on wednesdays, and since he 1) lives right by it and 2) they sponsor our team, I figured it'd be a quick date. Little do I remember that Wednesdays also are seminar days for the Beck class- which means Paul, eric, the whole gang apparently go there. Last I heard they were going to Thompson house. I honestly considered the possibility of running into someone, and figured they WOULDN'T be there because I didn't know they had class. Luckily I was hanging with Margherita and Parrish before hand, and they get the invite to go out (let's ignore the fact that I'm excluded now from group events because of Paul) to Benelux. I call Brandon to make sure that he's not there already, saying that we need to change plans. whatever, crisis averted we had a fun night, until I hear from Brahm, who usually is fair on the topic and just advises me to not make a spectacle of my new relationship: he usually warns not to 'make out on campus,' but this generally means that brandon and I walk down the sidewalk everywhere in montreal just standing next to each other for fear of someone seeing us. Saying goodbye is just that. Brahm told me I shouldn't ever hide myself on campus for fear of seeing Paul, which was what I had done since Feb. He says 'benelux on a wednesday. really?' as if I should have KNOWN that they always go there still, and have a reserve on it. I told him I figured they went to Thompson house. "ha. I question you not realizing paul would be there"
WTF?
HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
But, tactician that he is, he thought it would be 'ridiculously awkward' and that I may want to avoid that.
No.....shit....
I resent that I have to prescreen my movements. I made a bad call but it was avoided. Paul will find out some time.
I think this is karma. On monday we had the CSA Hirundo Launch wine and cheese and then afterwards went to Patricia's since she was hosting the 'afterparty.' I like patricia, don't get me wrong. she comes off as a little dramatic and ditzy, but mad nice and committed to classics. Apparently she and paul hooked up twice and she really liked him. I know that she did for a while. Because I know everything, right? Actually, yes, I did know that in the same way that I do just KNOW things. According to Parrish (drunk parrish) everyone more or less had found out about it, but he obviously isn't over me, and is probably using Patricia as a rebound. Well, if something good could come of it then fine, awesome, but I'm skeptical. Drunk Veronica goes and tries to fix everyone's problems on monday eve- I have a talk with Eric who just broke up with Parrish because he's not dealing with his parent's divorce AT ALL and it's affecting his commitment and relationships. I don't necessarily blame him for hurting parrish so much. He really crushed her; she was explicit with him that if there was a problem they need to be honest about it, and thinking nothing was up she fell for him HARD. Obviously he didn't talk about it, but he is hurting too. However, he's making a constructive decision and is stopping their relationship now while he can. It's a painful decision but it has to happen. He dealt with it badly and he knows that. I see a lot of paul and myself in that situation I was trying to have him talk about the divorce and to be proactive about it lest he repeat his father's mistakes. More or less fail.
Paul asks me what I'm doing or something, and...well I'm fuzzy about the conversation but was like I'm trying to help, and make right of what has already happened. And see to it that more people don't get hurt, and give him this knowing look. He looks so taken aback, and I say 'patricia. everyone knows. don't hurt her' or something dumb. He looked offended and I knew at that moment I should have just shut up. That evening he stayed over anyway, and after a big miscommunication I think they've ended it/broken up. I don't know what 'it' really entailed, but I'm feeling like I caused it. I didn't mean to be ruining paul even after we broke up. I feel badly but don't want to tell him anything about it because I don't want him to admit or know that I think that he stopped things with her because of what I said. I don't WANT that power over him. I was ok with the whole paul-patricia thing. I'll admit, I was a little taken aback, and was a bit annoyed at how Patricia acted around me. Almost as her senior I would say that I expected some reverence or more careful treading. I recognize that it isn't her 'style' and let it pass because she is 1) genuinely nice and 2) I suspect she could potentially know about Brandon and I.
I cannot wait to get the hell out of this.
so here I sit, In the shatner building knowing I won't see anyone, and waiting til 2 for a drs appointment. It's finally time to deal with this lung problem. More anti-biotics. Great. So what if I have another reaction to them? I can't wait to swell up again. And get hives. awww ew.
I have a final I should be doing. It's a take home, and not TOO much work, except I haven't done much of the readings. And then papers, an essay, most importantly my application for summer and the application for the scholarship to go. FUCK they should have been done last month.
Last night brando and I were going to head to benelux to get a beer. It's two for one night on wednesdays, and since he 1) lives right by it and 2) they sponsor our team, I figured it'd be a quick date. Little do I remember that Wednesdays also are seminar days for the Beck class- which means Paul, eric, the whole gang apparently go there. Last I heard they were going to Thompson house. I honestly considered the possibility of running into someone, and figured they WOULDN'T be there because I didn't know they had class. Luckily I was hanging with Margherita and Parrish before hand, and they get the invite to go out (let's ignore the fact that I'm excluded now from group events because of Paul) to Benelux. I call Brandon to make sure that he's not there already, saying that we need to change plans. whatever, crisis averted we had a fun night, until I hear from Brahm, who usually is fair on the topic and just advises me to not make a spectacle of my new relationship: he usually warns not to 'make out on campus,' but this generally means that brandon and I walk down the sidewalk everywhere in montreal just standing next to each other for fear of someone seeing us. Saying goodbye is just that. Brahm told me I shouldn't ever hide myself on campus for fear of seeing Paul, which was what I had done since Feb. He says 'benelux on a wednesday. really?' as if I should have KNOWN that they always go there still, and have a reserve on it. I told him I figured they went to Thompson house. "ha. I question you not realizing paul would be there"
WTF?
HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
But, tactician that he is, he thought it would be 'ridiculously awkward' and that I may want to avoid that.
No.....shit....
I resent that I have to prescreen my movements. I made a bad call but it was avoided. Paul will find out some time.
I think this is karma. On monday we had the CSA Hirundo Launch wine and cheese and then afterwards went to Patricia's since she was hosting the 'afterparty.' I like patricia, don't get me wrong. she comes off as a little dramatic and ditzy, but mad nice and committed to classics. Apparently she and paul hooked up twice and she really liked him. I know that she did for a while. Because I know everything, right? Actually, yes, I did know that in the same way that I do just KNOW things. According to Parrish (drunk parrish) everyone more or less had found out about it, but he obviously isn't over me, and is probably using Patricia as a rebound. Well, if something good could come of it then fine, awesome, but I'm skeptical. Drunk Veronica goes and tries to fix everyone's problems on monday eve- I have a talk with Eric who just broke up with Parrish because he's not dealing with his parent's divorce AT ALL and it's affecting his commitment and relationships. I don't necessarily blame him for hurting parrish so much. He really crushed her; she was explicit with him that if there was a problem they need to be honest about it, and thinking nothing was up she fell for him HARD. Obviously he didn't talk about it, but he is hurting too. However, he's making a constructive decision and is stopping their relationship now while he can. It's a painful decision but it has to happen. He dealt with it badly and he knows that. I see a lot of paul and myself in that situation I was trying to have him talk about the divorce and to be proactive about it lest he repeat his father's mistakes. More or less fail.
Paul asks me what I'm doing or something, and...well I'm fuzzy about the conversation but was like I'm trying to help, and make right of what has already happened. And see to it that more people don't get hurt, and give him this knowing look. He looks so taken aback, and I say 'patricia. everyone knows. don't hurt her' or something dumb. He looked offended and I knew at that moment I should have just shut up. That evening he stayed over anyway, and after a big miscommunication I think they've ended it/broken up. I don't know what 'it' really entailed, but I'm feeling like I caused it. I didn't mean to be ruining paul even after we broke up. I feel badly but don't want to tell him anything about it because I don't want him to admit or know that I think that he stopped things with her because of what I said. I don't WANT that power over him. I was ok with the whole paul-patricia thing. I'll admit, I was a little taken aback, and was a bit annoyed at how Patricia acted around me. Almost as her senior I would say that I expected some reverence or more careful treading. I recognize that it isn't her 'style' and let it pass because she is 1) genuinely nice and 2) I suspect she could potentially know about Brandon and I.
I cannot wait to get the hell out of this.
so here I sit, In the shatner building knowing I won't see anyone, and waiting til 2 for a drs appointment. It's finally time to deal with this lung problem. More anti-biotics. Great. So what if I have another reaction to them? I can't wait to swell up again. And get hives. awww ew.