WAAAARRR.

May 23, 2008 22:16

SPECIAL FORKS_IT FEATURE!!
HARRY POTTER OWNS TWILIGHT?
Really? Are you sure you're not just wasting your time with this?

It's happened, and it was only a matter of time.

"We'll smack the truth in their faces with such an epic force," says hpownstwilight's el-jay community title/subtitle, "they won't know what hit them!" The promise-come-threat infers just what Twilighters have been dreading: the Harry Potter fans' next weapon in the ongoing one-sided, one-brain-celled, one group diagnosis of why-are-you-wasting-your-carbon-footprints-on-caring-so-deeply-about-not-caring-about-a-book-series-itis fandom war. The weapon? After intense and life-threatening weeding through the posts made by the invite-only members of hpownstwilight, courageous investigatory journalists have uncovered the divisive plan to uproot and disprove the Twilight fandom's love for Twilight: poorly-crafted mocking and a manipulated graphic of Robert Pattinson playing dead.

When confronted by with the issue of provoking a war, hpownstwilight member boleyn stated she could feel one coming and that: "IDK. We can take them." papered replied: "LOL, I am FAIRLY SURE that the number of HP fans >>>>>> the number of Twilight fans, LMFAO. They probably don't want to do that, lmfao."

Part of their mocking strategy incorporates the long-held effective means of generalizing and talking up one's ass, such as claiming "Only Twilight fans have said stuff like" JKR is an "untalented bitch." "They're just upset that Stephenie Meyer couldn't write a good enough book. OR SOMETHING. idk," according to downpour. Upon further research, it has been confirmed that downpour has not read the epilogue to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ("the morning of the first of September was crisp and golden as an apple") and has biassedly compared both series while suffering from an acute case of JKR Worship-kemia, a disease similar to that of the Stephenie Meyer's Word is the Word of God-itis.

Reliable and amused sources close to the Twilight fandom are "glad" to report that hpownstwilight will be ineffective towards the fandom's feelings towards Stephenie Meyer's popular book series. However, these same sources are inclined to warn the Twilight fandom that such mockery will most likely continue despite the majority of Twilighters rolling on the floor and laughing their asses off about it.

hpownstwilight had this to say about Twilight fans roaming their community: "If you think Twilight is better than Harry Potter, GTFO," as well as assuring others that they have in fact, "all read the books" and that the community is not "SOLELY" based on "bashing Twilight." They are simply "loyal Harry Potter fans saying that the book comes nowhere CLOSE to the caliber of Harry Potter." More investigation will be conducted on whether or not hpownstwilight realizes that the only people who are comparing the two series happen to be them at this point, and that by bashing Twilight they are only spamming their own flists with more "Twilight-related things." It's been confirmed that no one cares but them. And just them.

blush has made the following statement about the issue: "It's summer. Take a walk. Lug your HP books out on a picnic. Take an elderly person to see Prince Caspian. JOIN A BANDOM."

forks_it recommends either the trifecta of Cobra Starship/The Academy Is/Fall Out Boy or perhaps Taking Back Sunday. Those kids are pretty chill.

Source: hpownstwilight, blush's personal journal with permission

!crystal, hpownstwilight, personal journals

Previous post Next post
Up
[]