There's no denying that I was a mess for a while. I say mess because I can't find the right word to define how I was. I could make excuses for miles, and try to explain what losing your best friend is like, how that effects you inside in a way that no one can cure or understand, but excuses aside, I'm not proud of how I handled myself or how good I ( Read more... )

i feel like the karma police just let me off with a warning...

There's something about a voice that's personal, not unlike the particular odor or shape of a given human body. Summoned through belly, hammered into form by the throat, given propulsion by bellows of lungs, teased into final form by tongue and lips, a vocal is a kind of audible kiss, a blurted confession, a soul-burp you really can't keep from ( Read more... )

FUCKYOU.

Oh jeezus some nights are so unbearable without you. I don't know what it is that jolts me into the reality of the indescribable space between us now, but when it does the smallest things seem impossible without you here. I went to Dominoes tonight and bought pepperoni pizza with ten blazin hot buffalo wings, and I just broke down crying, this ( Read more... )

As the Tucson Monsoons presented themselves in an array of thunder and pouring rain this evening, I turned off all the lights in the apartment, laid back, pulled the blinds back and just listened. For some reason, it hit me in this moment exactly what I want to be. Rain, is just water, at a glance, it maybe wouldn't seem like much, but it is the ( Read more... )

dear fucking god, i can't stop shaking. atreyu is tonite.
i
just
forgot
how
to
breathe.

fuck yes. :D

ah there you are old enemy, i never thought you'd think so low of me, but when no one speaks, actions scream.
fuck you.
i'll think of you no longer.

mercy me my baby comes home today!!!!!!!! fuck yes. happiness in a bag.

i seek to improve.
i want to dance again.
i want to ace my classes.
i want to cut this body out.
i want to feel as though i've accomplished something.

i want to start me over.

here i go.

as much as i've always believed in magic, i can't believe this time.
the future holds too much for us to comprehend or define.
and i won't fear the cards,
i'll just follow
my
heart.
because i know everything is going to be alright.