(no subject)
My family is all out in Coney Island now, and all I have been doing all day is binging and purging...while i wait for my friends to come over. The past 4 days, I haven't kept anything down...which is good and bad...since I don't gain weight, but it is getting a little annoying to always have to purge...I feel like I have to go out of my way to purge..and it gets me so tired to be constantly purging. Oh well...as of now I am done purging for today...I'll probably just make a smoothie later on today and that will be it. But, I'm not even hungry so whatever lol. anyways, the other day when I was at Ashley's I was talking to Ashley and she said Steve says I am TOO COMPLICATED...wtf does that mean. I mean, he's the one who is always so depressed and stuff...so by him knowing about my ed, he thinks I am complicated...wtf. I don't even do anything or talk about it to him so I don't see how he says that. He says he doesn't like me...meanwhile he is always trying to cuddle and kiss me and it really pisses me off.
I also hate how people get grossed out by me...I mean Veronika says I gross her out since I purge...meanwhile she used to do it to...which I don't even understand how we can both eat the same thing..for instance yesterday we both had a bag of chips...and I went down stairs at my beach club to go purge...and she just sat there...i don't get it at ALL...how can she eat that and not even throw it up...idk whatever, I guess its better off she doesn't throw up since it is bad for you...whatever. Yesterday my grandma commented that I look like I lost weight...I am sooOooOo pissed because she said it right in front of my mom...now my mom is going to be all down my back...ugh. This weekend has felt so LONG...but I wish it wouldn't end since I don't feel like going to school tomorrow. I really need a fucking job and get the fuck out of my house. I can't stand my mom...all she does is yell and control me...its sooOooOo annoying...and just makes me more closed off towards her.
I also hate how people get grossed out by me...I mean Veronika says I gross her out since I purge...meanwhile she used to do it to...which I don't even understand how we can both eat the same thing..for instance yesterday we both had a bag of chips...and I went down stairs at my beach club to go purge...and she just sat there...i don't get it at ALL...how can she eat that and not even throw it up...idk whatever, I guess its better off she doesn't throw up since it is bad for you...whatever. Yesterday my grandma commented that I look like I lost weight...I am sooOooOo pissed because she said it right in front of my mom...now my mom is going to be all down my back...ugh. This weekend has felt so LONG...but I wish it wouldn't end since I don't feel like going to school tomorrow. I really need a fucking job and get the fuck out of my house. I can't stand my mom...all she does is yell and control me...its sooOooOo annoying...and just makes me more closed off towards her.