Saints fic.
Sweet, a new layout~
Anyway, I am still fucking around with the Saints chapter, AS IT STILL MAKES ME NOT HAPPY. So here is a bit that I added/edited in. It's not so much that Gaara is hard for me to write, he's really easy actually, but getting Sakura? hrnnnnnnnnnnnn. Not so easy.
--
“But...” the words were stuck in her throat, all of it was throne into turmoil. “It's going to create something so much worse...” she could see the copy cats, only they wouldn't have these words, have these conversations about hope, about justice about lies that needed protecting.
“Probably. You will have to cross that path when you come to it.”
“I didn't want to cross this one!” she tried not to yell, instead it came out a furious whisper.
There was no answer. Slowly, blearily, eyes blurring her vision as she looked down at a little girl kick a ball around, she realised, there never would be.
“I asked to speak to you, personally.” he said, crossing his arms in front of him.
She turned a sharp look at him “Why?”
“Because you are a doctor. I didn't know you, just what Naruto said. That you treated him all the same, didn't even ask questions. That you could defend yourself.”
She swallowed, thinking back on that night, how she's smashed the man's face into the ground, there hadn't been much time for thought, trapped and struggling, then a distraction - then, she'd solved her own problems.
“Before this, you were simply a doctor that could look after herself in the dark places, and occasionally fought those dark places with your own hands.”
She nodded. How was he so astute, so able to cut to the quick? She dug her fingers into her palm painfully, obscurely it made her angry. Who was he to say such things?
“Now you think that purpose is gone, that you've some how corrupted yourself by shedding blood.”
Sakura dared to look up, to find that for the first time in their little conversation, he was looking intently at her.
“You haven't though. That's what scared you, really, your loss of purpose. But there was no need, you're just the same. The purpose remains the same. You must fight the dark with your own two hands.” he gestured down, to Naruto, where a blur of yellow hair played football with the orphan students.
“He will need reminding, sometimes. Sasuke has a depressingly corruptive presence, Kakashi won't speak against it. This, Sakura, is why I asked to speak with you.”
To find a balance.
“You will have to be the feeling that they will lose sight of. You will save lives, both theirs and the ones you will do so by proxy.”
What if... What if...
She never wanted this to happen, she didn't want this responsibility... but Gaara's words, they played in her mind.
“Most importantly, you will bring hope. Shedding a man's blood doesn't have to be undignified, treat them as you would a doctor give pain killers to a dying patient.”
What if...
There was no what if. There was no going back, she could wish, scream and beg all she liked. But there was no going back. She cleared her eyes. She... there was a knot in her throat. Different to the one of this past week. It was no longer a stinging regret. What if... She swallowed the knot down. There was. There was the patient in front of you. A choice, a choice for life and death you had to make. There was always the hope that she could bring.
Maybe... maybe...
--
Stolen from celticoak
A. Age: 19
B. Bed size: Single, once upon a time, Queen.
C. Chore you hate: Vaccuming
D. Day: Saturdays
E. Essential start to your day: Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee
F. Favourite colour: Red
G. Gold or Silver: Silver, Gold looks weird on me.
H. Height: 5'5/6? I THINK? I've no ideaaa.
I. Instruments: I've taken lessons for Guitar, Piano and Voice.
J. Job title: ... Let's just put it as 'professional student' in that NO ONE WILL EMPLOY ME.
K. Kids: ... If I had any, I'd be able to stand my own, probably, everyone else's? KEEP THEM AWAY.
L. Live: Queensland, Australia. Wish I lived: Scotland.
M. Mum’s name: Rosalie, she hates it.
N. Nicknames: Lily, Lily Rex, Fonsy, Miss Lys, Death Star, Empress of Destruction
O. Overnight hospital stays: Too many too count.
Q. Quote from a movie: "Real men hide their feelings. Why? BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS." Boondock Saints II. :3
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: Awkward question. Several. But none living.
T. Time you wake up: Anywhere between... 8 and 10am, depending how loud my house mates are.
U. Underwear: Black 'n Lacy.
V. Vegetables you dislike: Tomatoes, dear god EW.
W. What makes you run late: Uh, everythiiing.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Ankles, wrists, fingers, as well as several ultrasounds, so does that count?
Y. Yummy food you make: Uh, Bacon? uhm. I really don't do the cooking thing.
Z. Zoo: My mind.
Anyway, I am still fucking around with the Saints chapter, AS IT STILL MAKES ME NOT HAPPY. So here is a bit that I added/edited in. It's not so much that Gaara is hard for me to write, he's really easy actually, but getting Sakura? hrnnnnnnnnnnnn. Not so easy.
--
“But...” the words were stuck in her throat, all of it was throne into turmoil. “It's going to create something so much worse...” she could see the copy cats, only they wouldn't have these words, have these conversations about hope, about justice about lies that needed protecting.
“Probably. You will have to cross that path when you come to it.”
“I didn't want to cross this one!” she tried not to yell, instead it came out a furious whisper.
There was no answer. Slowly, blearily, eyes blurring her vision as she looked down at a little girl kick a ball around, she realised, there never would be.
“I asked to speak to you, personally.” he said, crossing his arms in front of him.
She turned a sharp look at him “Why?”
“Because you are a doctor. I didn't know you, just what Naruto said. That you treated him all the same, didn't even ask questions. That you could defend yourself.”
She swallowed, thinking back on that night, how she's smashed the man's face into the ground, there hadn't been much time for thought, trapped and struggling, then a distraction - then, she'd solved her own problems.
“Before this, you were simply a doctor that could look after herself in the dark places, and occasionally fought those dark places with your own hands.”
She nodded. How was he so astute, so able to cut to the quick? She dug her fingers into her palm painfully, obscurely it made her angry. Who was he to say such things?
“Now you think that purpose is gone, that you've some how corrupted yourself by shedding blood.”
Sakura dared to look up, to find that for the first time in their little conversation, he was looking intently at her.
“You haven't though. That's what scared you, really, your loss of purpose. But there was no need, you're just the same. The purpose remains the same. You must fight the dark with your own two hands.” he gestured down, to Naruto, where a blur of yellow hair played football with the orphan students.
“He will need reminding, sometimes. Sasuke has a depressingly corruptive presence, Kakashi won't speak against it. This, Sakura, is why I asked to speak with you.”
To find a balance.
“You will have to be the feeling that they will lose sight of. You will save lives, both theirs and the ones you will do so by proxy.”
What if... What if...
She never wanted this to happen, she didn't want this responsibility... but Gaara's words, they played in her mind.
“Most importantly, you will bring hope. Shedding a man's blood doesn't have to be undignified, treat them as you would a doctor give pain killers to a dying patient.”
What if...
There was no what if. There was no going back, she could wish, scream and beg all she liked. But there was no going back. She cleared her eyes. She... there was a knot in her throat. Different to the one of this past week. It was no longer a stinging regret. What if... She swallowed the knot down. There was. There was the patient in front of you. A choice, a choice for life and death you had to make. There was always the hope that she could bring.
Maybe... maybe...
--
Stolen from celticoak
A. Age: 19
B. Bed size: Single, once upon a time, Queen.
C. Chore you hate: Vaccuming
D. Day: Saturdays
E. Essential start to your day: Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee
F. Favourite colour: Red
G. Gold or Silver: Silver, Gold looks weird on me.
H. Height: 5'5/6? I THINK? I've no ideaaa.
I. Instruments: I've taken lessons for Guitar, Piano and Voice.
J. Job title: ... Let's just put it as 'professional student' in that NO ONE WILL EMPLOY ME.
K. Kids: ... If I had any, I'd be able to stand my own, probably, everyone else's? KEEP THEM AWAY.
L. Live: Queensland, Australia. Wish I lived: Scotland.
M. Mum’s name: Rosalie, she hates it.
N. Nicknames: Lily, Lily Rex, Fonsy, Miss Lys, Death Star, Empress of Destruction
O. Overnight hospital stays: Too many too count.
Q. Quote from a movie: "Real men hide their feelings. Why? BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS." Boondock Saints II. :3
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: Awkward question. Several. But none living.
T. Time you wake up: Anywhere between... 8 and 10am, depending how loud my house mates are.
U. Underwear: Black 'n Lacy.
V. Vegetables you dislike: Tomatoes, dear god EW.
W. What makes you run late: Uh, everythiiing.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Ankles, wrists, fingers, as well as several ultrasounds, so does that count?
Y. Yummy food you make: Uh, Bacon? uhm. I really don't do the cooking thing.
Z. Zoo: My mind.