For the record....on feminism in marriage

[fonda5150]

Ok….so I wasn’t planning on doing this (I truly do hate explaining myself, especially because doing so usually makes one sound like a bigger idiot than they started off sounding like), but after the chaotic drama that I inadvertently got mixed up in on 

Comments

[crfowler]

COMPROMISE............................ I would hate to get an inside look into the marriage of any woman or couple for that matter that hasn't perfected this fine art. I am the right there with you when it comes to equality and women's rights, damn straight a penis shouldn't matter on a pay scale. The problem is that while a marriage like any partnership should be equal and respectful a GOOD marriage is all about give and take. No I don't actually have any desire to have sex almost every Wednesday and Thursday because those are my nights off and Greg gets lonely on the others but at the same time he doesn't enjoy sitting through another episode of ER or mowin the grass every Sunday afternoon.
The point being you find the things in your marriage that work for you, give a little of this to get a little of that and in the end everyone feels happy and satisfied.

[fonda5150]

Thanks, you have no idea how much I appreciate your comment. Just knowing that I'm not the only one who's "letting my husband walk all over me" really helps my wounded pride. Wow, was I beginning to feel June Cleaver-ish, or what.

[tulipdream]

I hope you do not mind me commenting, but I saw your link to this entry on _marriedlife_ and was really impressed with everything you had to say on this topic. Respect and compromise are crucial parts of any interactions between adults, but especially in a marriage, and it seems that many people have forgotten this fact. We are all certainly entitled to have our basic needs fufilled, but cannot expect that our every want, whim and desire to be fufilled whenever we would like them to be.

Thank you writing your viewpoint on this subject. It was very interesting to read another woman's take on this issue and you really made me think :-)

[fonda5150]

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I don't mind ANY comments to my posts, positive, negative, or indifferent as long as they're intelligent and don't attack me PERSONALLY if my views don't happen to be the same as theirs.

It's always good to hear other's opinions. It's what keeps us thinking.

[snowbitch]

*hugs*

You worded my thoughts perfectly. I was just having this discussion with my husband last night.

I don't get it why people must use the word "feminism" to achieve equality between sexes. To me, it always has been "equality" and I feel that by using the word "feminism", we are putting some people on defense and we don't really achieve our objectives at the end of the day because of this.

I am too lazy to do the research right now. However, I do recall reading that *typically* men do have a higher sex drive than females due to biological reasons. In addition, I did not want the drama to continue and as such, I stopped replying even though I was pretty upset.

I really like you =)

[snowbitch]

oh.. and respect needs to be earned, not demanded!

[fonda5150]

Absolutely!

[fonda5150]

I didn't do the research to back it up either (me lazy too, ugh), but I've read it...many times (lots of psychology classes under my belt), just don't recall where...and have no desire to dig through the boxes of college text books in the closet.

[mrs_dragon]

This is very well written and well thought out. I agree that marriages are all about compromise...so is any other relationship, really. If you don't mind, I may link to this entry from my journal later. : )

[mrs_dragon]

PS. I came over from marriedlife too. : )

[fonda5150]

I don't mind at all if you link, in fact, I'd consider it an honor.

Thanks,
Fonda

[mrs_dragon]

Thanks ^_^ Here's the post, if you are curious:
http://mrs-dragon.livejournal.com/144301.html

[wrenwren8]

Although I myself am not married, I will offer up my perspective anyway :). I agree with all thats said above about equality and compromise for a health marriage. But as a Christian I will also say that while decisions should be made together, and consideration given from both partners, if an agreement cannot be reached, in the end, someone has to have the final say. I would have no problem letting that be the man. He wants the accura, you want the pontiac... In the end, how long is the debate gonna go on before someone gives? If I have had the opportunity to try to pursuade him and he does not give it consideration, then he was probably a poor choice in a mate to begin with. If he does give consideration and is not pursuaded by my arguments, then so be it. Is is sexist? I do not think so. It's more like a pecking order to keep things running smoothly. It's just a structure and dynamic of a relationship I would choose, which may not work for someone else. Has nothing to do with women's rights. Those decisions about a

[fonda5150]

Very well said. As usual (that's why I love you sooooo much).

My favorite saying: Pick your battles.

As with every disagreement, you have to decide if the result you want is worth what it will cost you to get it.

[of_salfarro]

if its always the man in all relationships then ya its sexist.

[fonda5150]

Agreed...but that's just it...a healthy relationship can't be ALWAYS anyone. The man or the woman.