Last night in Atalnta
I hadn't explicitly mentioned it on my journal, but for some time I have been planning a trip to Germany and Austria. I departed today at 5pm after finalizing the packing, storage, or disposal of my all material possessions, and am presently on the plane somewhere over Nova Scotia.
Last night I went to Haas with a few people for dinner and drinks to just have a nice evening before I left the city for an unknown amount of time. Although I invited a bunch of folks, I didn't have expectations for any real turnout owing to competing events, but as the evening progressed, a few people who I don't often see came out of the woodwork to wish me off.
We drank and cavorted there for a while, I spending probably more than I really should have (but less than I really care about), taking pictures with my new camera, and trying to rip phonebooks in half. I had planned an early evening so as to go home and pack my suitcase and take care of the 20 other things I needed to do before leaving, but of course the wine wouldn't stop appearing and so naturally we ended up back at my house for beer and drunken packing starting about 1am. Had a lot of fun in doing that, and it was useful to have people present to make suggestions on what to bring and whatnot. Stayed up ridiculous late of course, and crashed out on the floor since I no longer have a bed.
All told, quite a fun night. I had the pleasant social evening I wanted for sure. Hopefully when I arrive in Amsterdam and start going through my suitcase I won't regret packing under such circumstances though...
In no particular order, and probably for no reason other than to kill time on an airplane, I present the attendees and a few thoughts about each of them:
Kirk - I have known Kirk for something like a decade, and we've always been great friends, even if we have a something of a history of goading one another on to dangerous feats of bravado and stupidity, often involving guns or motorized vehicles, or both. Over time we have come in and out of actively spending time, but lately we've been on an upswing. I left him my motorcycle to do some work on while I am gone, since as far as I can tell the guy can fix fucking anything. He also claims to be a "strong man" and although I have seen him rip a deck of cards in half, last night the phone book ripping wasn't going so well (although better for him than me for sure.)
Joe - Have known Joe for a few years now, but we haven't spent huge swaths of time together at this point. We have had a lot of strong conversations about our psyches and views on the world, and although I can certainly say we are from very different molds, I think we both enjoy the other's perspective on our beliefs. He has also been an enthusiastic consumer of ideas on chaos magick and so forth, and I have of course enjoyed talking about my experiences in that area. Joe has always had a streak of extreme and consistent generosity towards me, which I have never quite understood, but have appreciated nonetheless. He has printed numerous books and business cards for me as purely generous gestures, and wrote one of the most sincere and flattering letters I have ever received as a gift for me last night.
Brooke - A lifetime ago I was actually engaged to Brooke, but I hadn't seen her but very occasionally for the last 6 or 7 years. Without going into inappropriate personal detail, she has had rather a hard time since shortly after we separated, and for those reasons we did not keep in touch for the most part. Periodically she would pop up in my life, but usually not for very long before going towards something else again. Nic recently mentioned she was on myspace, so I contacted her there and we have gone out a few times over the past week, and I have enjoyed reacquainting with her a great deal. Things seem to have taken rather a good turn for her of late both internally and externally, and if nothing else it pleases me to see that.
She has always been a beautiful girl, and that remains the case into the present. I mentioned it in my last post as well, but I personally think she has a fantastic sense of style. If I was paying someone to redecorate my house or buy clothes for me, I would probably hire her. As it stands I am not paying people to do those things, but she did give me a neat lucite keychain with a beetle in it and a good luck charm for my trip.
There is a type of underlying familiarity present in seeing her again after being so close to her so long ago, but also there are of course differences in the present. Someone told me when I mentioned I wanted to call her, that she would not be the same person I remebered. And that was partially true, but then again she wasn't so different as to not have me feeling pleased by her presence over the past week. I think there is a lot to be said for the fact that I haven't spent much time at all with her outside the context of a romance between us, and so even years after we separated, it feels a little odd to not have her behave towards me in those ways. I suppose I should learn what lessons I can from that though as this may be something of a recurring theme in my life...
Stephen - What can I say about him? Also hovering in the decade or so of friendship area, Stephen has been one of the best companions I have ever had. I actually have probably less to say on him here, because, at least from my perspective, my relationship to him has been so consistently positive there isn't a lot of complexity to go into. He has definitely been there for all kinds of fucked up things in my life, and has never wavered in his loyalty, helpfulness, and genuine concern. Stephen is Duncan Idaho to my Paul Atreidis. In other words I plan to have him cloned every time he dies for 5000+ years.
http://picasaweb.google.com/fred.mephisto/LastNightInAtlanta/photo#5129786839082703650
Micah - Ah my young padwan. We met basically through online correspondence surrounding our mutual interest in magick, and that has consistently been a major element in our conversations. I probably can't justifiably paint myself as much of a teacher to he, but being quite a bit older it has a coloring of that I feel. In the end we learn from each other I would think. She has a really strong theoretical grip on magick in my view, especially when I consider what an outrageous moron I was in that regard (and others) at her age. (Might be argued that I still am, but let's leave that alone for now...) I always feel a bit bad when we are going to bars to gather and she can't order drinks though.
Pat - Have known Pat only a couple of months I reckon; met him due to his being Nicole's roommate. Definitely a fine upstanding gentleman if you ask me though. Hard working, door holding, cigarette giving away type of guy. Only recently had we gotten to talking much, but I've enjoyed it since it has been present. One thing I will say about him though, is that in my view, he is an intelligent, good looking, stylish, and generous guy, who but for one flaw would have all sorts of girls swarming him - he's short. I actually did not realize what an major factor that is to most girls until several girls commented to me on his height as a detraction to being interested in him - even really short girls! I dunno. Not much for me to do about it, but I just think that is a drag as I think he is quite cool.
Nicole - Hard to quantify, but I think that Nicole cares about me more than anyone else. Perhaps I might say instead that she does more active caring towards me than anyone. When I am down, she is the first person I would turn to for comfort, and I can't think she has ever let me down when I have done so. Certainly she has very much been there for me of late, and has really been medicinal for me. She makes me laugh, and this is of course good, but more than that she has a tremendous ability to create simple and honest fun around herself. She actually does things as well; this is not true of everyone.
I have always felt a brotherly positioning towards Nicole, and I would go to huge lengths for her if needed. That said, I also think she is highly attractive, but despite constant rumors and years of false accusations, we are not having sex.
Jared - Jared is my fucking brother, and that's about all there is to it. Although we are in fundamental ways different people, he is a person that I can talk to on serious matters and know there is a kindof core understanding of where my thinking is coming from. It seems to me that we are both somewhat stoic people, and ones for whom being extremely forthcoming about inner thoughts and feeling does not always come immediately, but when we do go into that depth speaking with each other, it is really powerful for me. My brother is tremendous advisor in many ways, and for reasons completely aside from him simply being of my blood I would look for his opinion on important matters in my life.
Last night I went to Haas with a few people for dinner and drinks to just have a nice evening before I left the city for an unknown amount of time. Although I invited a bunch of folks, I didn't have expectations for any real turnout owing to competing events, but as the evening progressed, a few people who I don't often see came out of the woodwork to wish me off.
We drank and cavorted there for a while, I spending probably more than I really should have (but less than I really care about), taking pictures with my new camera, and trying to rip phonebooks in half. I had planned an early evening so as to go home and pack my suitcase and take care of the 20 other things I needed to do before leaving, but of course the wine wouldn't stop appearing and so naturally we ended up back at my house for beer and drunken packing starting about 1am. Had a lot of fun in doing that, and it was useful to have people present to make suggestions on what to bring and whatnot. Stayed up ridiculous late of course, and crashed out on the floor since I no longer have a bed.
All told, quite a fun night. I had the pleasant social evening I wanted for sure. Hopefully when I arrive in Amsterdam and start going through my suitcase I won't regret packing under such circumstances though...
In no particular order, and probably for no reason other than to kill time on an airplane, I present the attendees and a few thoughts about each of them:
Kirk - I have known Kirk for something like a decade, and we've always been great friends, even if we have a something of a history of goading one another on to dangerous feats of bravado and stupidity, often involving guns or motorized vehicles, or both. Over time we have come in and out of actively spending time, but lately we've been on an upswing. I left him my motorcycle to do some work on while I am gone, since as far as I can tell the guy can fix fucking anything. He also claims to be a "strong man" and although I have seen him rip a deck of cards in half, last night the phone book ripping wasn't going so well (although better for him than me for sure.)
Joe - Have known Joe for a few years now, but we haven't spent huge swaths of time together at this point. We have had a lot of strong conversations about our psyches and views on the world, and although I can certainly say we are from very different molds, I think we both enjoy the other's perspective on our beliefs. He has also been an enthusiastic consumer of ideas on chaos magick and so forth, and I have of course enjoyed talking about my experiences in that area. Joe has always had a streak of extreme and consistent generosity towards me, which I have never quite understood, but have appreciated nonetheless. He has printed numerous books and business cards for me as purely generous gestures, and wrote one of the most sincere and flattering letters I have ever received as a gift for me last night.
Brooke - A lifetime ago I was actually engaged to Brooke, but I hadn't seen her but very occasionally for the last 6 or 7 years. Without going into inappropriate personal detail, she has had rather a hard time since shortly after we separated, and for those reasons we did not keep in touch for the most part. Periodically she would pop up in my life, but usually not for very long before going towards something else again. Nic recently mentioned she was on myspace, so I contacted her there and we have gone out a few times over the past week, and I have enjoyed reacquainting with her a great deal. Things seem to have taken rather a good turn for her of late both internally and externally, and if nothing else it pleases me to see that.
She has always been a beautiful girl, and that remains the case into the present. I mentioned it in my last post as well, but I personally think she has a fantastic sense of style. If I was paying someone to redecorate my house or buy clothes for me, I would probably hire her. As it stands I am not paying people to do those things, but she did give me a neat lucite keychain with a beetle in it and a good luck charm for my trip.
There is a type of underlying familiarity present in seeing her again after being so close to her so long ago, but also there are of course differences in the present. Someone told me when I mentioned I wanted to call her, that she would not be the same person I remebered. And that was partially true, but then again she wasn't so different as to not have me feeling pleased by her presence over the past week. I think there is a lot to be said for the fact that I haven't spent much time at all with her outside the context of a romance between us, and so even years after we separated, it feels a little odd to not have her behave towards me in those ways. I suppose I should learn what lessons I can from that though as this may be something of a recurring theme in my life...
Stephen - What can I say about him? Also hovering in the decade or so of friendship area, Stephen has been one of the best companions I have ever had. I actually have probably less to say on him here, because, at least from my perspective, my relationship to him has been so consistently positive there isn't a lot of complexity to go into. He has definitely been there for all kinds of fucked up things in my life, and has never wavered in his loyalty, helpfulness, and genuine concern. Stephen is Duncan Idaho to my Paul Atreidis. In other words I plan to have him cloned every time he dies for 5000+ years.
http://picasaweb.google.com/fred.mephisto/LastNightInAtlanta/photo#5129786839082703650
Micah - Ah my young padwan. We met basically through online correspondence surrounding our mutual interest in magick, and that has consistently been a major element in our conversations. I probably can't justifiably paint myself as much of a teacher to he, but being quite a bit older it has a coloring of that I feel. In the end we learn from each other I would think. She has a really strong theoretical grip on magick in my view, especially when I consider what an outrageous moron I was in that regard (and others) at her age. (Might be argued that I still am, but let's leave that alone for now...) I always feel a bit bad when we are going to bars to gather and she can't order drinks though.
Pat - Have known Pat only a couple of months I reckon; met him due to his being Nicole's roommate. Definitely a fine upstanding gentleman if you ask me though. Hard working, door holding, cigarette giving away type of guy. Only recently had we gotten to talking much, but I've enjoyed it since it has been present. One thing I will say about him though, is that in my view, he is an intelligent, good looking, stylish, and generous guy, who but for one flaw would have all sorts of girls swarming him - he's short. I actually did not realize what an major factor that is to most girls until several girls commented to me on his height as a detraction to being interested in him - even really short girls! I dunno. Not much for me to do about it, but I just think that is a drag as I think he is quite cool.
Nicole - Hard to quantify, but I think that Nicole cares about me more than anyone else. Perhaps I might say instead that she does more active caring towards me than anyone. When I am down, she is the first person I would turn to for comfort, and I can't think she has ever let me down when I have done so. Certainly she has very much been there for me of late, and has really been medicinal for me. She makes me laugh, and this is of course good, but more than that she has a tremendous ability to create simple and honest fun around herself. She actually does things as well; this is not true of everyone.
I have always felt a brotherly positioning towards Nicole, and I would go to huge lengths for her if needed. That said, I also think she is highly attractive, but despite constant rumors and years of false accusations, we are not having sex.
Jared - Jared is my fucking brother, and that's about all there is to it. Although we are in fundamental ways different people, he is a person that I can talk to on serious matters and know there is a kindof core understanding of where my thinking is coming from. It seems to me that we are both somewhat stoic people, and ones for whom being extremely forthcoming about inner thoughts and feeling does not always come immediately, but when we do go into that depth speaking with each other, it is really powerful for me. My brother is tremendous advisor in many ways, and for reasons completely aside from him simply being of my blood I would look for his opinion on important matters in my life.