Prompt 177, Stand Up Comedy, "The Democracy of Humor"
Title: The Democracy of Humor
Author: seta_suzume
Series: manga/Brotherhood
Word Count: 684
Rating: PG
Characters: Roy, Havoc, OCs
Summary: General Mustang brings an old friend along to his favorite comedy club.
Warnings: none
"Any of you ever gone and taken the opportunity to watch the potential State Alchemists take the practical segment of their exam? They let you do that now, you know. It's part of the new transparency in government measures. They list the scheduling in the papers. Really. Look it up," Dan Spade launched into an exploration of Roy's favorite subject in his catalogue of comedy, "It's amazing! Amazingly funny that is.
"Let me tell you, these are not Electric or Flame caliber alchemists. Do you remember the Electric Alchemist? Her workshop out in Kolde is still running. You can still go see her machines. It's not as neat as it once was though. My granny took me there back when I was a kid. Dolores Perry was a pretty wild lady, believe it or not. If you visited her lab, you could watch her create and conduct lightning. She could run the entire lab on the stuff. Gotta wonder what she did with that when she wasn't at work. Now they just plug the devices in like everybody else. Last week I went and watched a guy trying to work electricity to pass his exam. He made one lightbulb flicker on. Compare this guy to Perry, he's, like, the 'Static Shock Alchemist!'"
Dan Spade seemed undeterred by the subdued response he received, tugging on his checkered bow tie and continuing on in this manner. "And then, of course you all know the Flame Alchemist. He's made good. Maybe you saw that movie that's based on his exploits?"
"Don't talk about that," Roy grumbled quietly into his drink.
Jean Havoc smirked, but chose not to add his own comments about the film. "Did you know Electric? Would she like being joked about like this?"
"Eh, I think she'd be proud that people are still talking about her lab."
Fortunately for the general's mood, the comedian stuck with his theme of "State Alchemists then and now" comparison. "General Mustang can snap his fingers and make fire. A few days ago, I saw an alchemist paint a diagram about a yard in diameter just to turn the mixture he poured out of one tiny flask into a handful of salt crystals.
"You know they'll certify just about anybody these days. And the names they get! I can't make this stuff up! Have you met the Topiary Alchemist? He does a lot of very artistic work with trees. I think it's an agricultural thing. Anyone in the audience who can explain it to me without putting me to sleep I will buy a drink for tonight after the show!"
Havoc turned to Roy. "Hybrid fruit; tree splicing," he answered in a heartbeat.
"Someone's going to owe you a drink," Havoc grinned wider than he had at any of the jokes.
"There's the Cobalt Alchemist. I think she makes…paint? Honestly, I couldn't tell you for sure. What do you think the Cobalt Alchemist should be doing?
"I want to know who's certifying these people, don't you? Are our taxes going towards paying for these people's research grants? Do you want to be supporting whatever work is done by the Saline Alchemist? The Ester Alchemist? The Blue Rose Alchemist? …Of course, the last time I read about an alchemist with an incomprehensibly flowery name, it turned out he was an explosives expert- yes, you over there looking uncomfortable- you know who I'm talking about, mister- so I guess one should not always judge an alchemist by his name. For all I know, Blue Rose is going to revolutionize plastics! Or medicine! Or…something. I have no idea what that guy does."
"This stuff is terrible," Havoc groaned, "I thought your sense of humor was at least a little more sophisticated than this, sir."
"It's not the humor in the jokes that's making me laugh," Roy explained, "I love these observations for themselves. Because it means that when ordinary people think of alchemy, it's not as some horrifying tool of war. And because this awkward, silly man is being allowed to publicly make them."
"Well, freedom of speech is a beautiful thing."
Author: seta_suzume
Series: manga/Brotherhood
Word Count: 684
Rating: PG
Characters: Roy, Havoc, OCs
Summary: General Mustang brings an old friend along to his favorite comedy club.
Warnings: none
"Any of you ever gone and taken the opportunity to watch the potential State Alchemists take the practical segment of their exam? They let you do that now, you know. It's part of the new transparency in government measures. They list the scheduling in the papers. Really. Look it up," Dan Spade launched into an exploration of Roy's favorite subject in his catalogue of comedy, "It's amazing! Amazingly funny that is.
"Let me tell you, these are not Electric or Flame caliber alchemists. Do you remember the Electric Alchemist? Her workshop out in Kolde is still running. You can still go see her machines. It's not as neat as it once was though. My granny took me there back when I was a kid. Dolores Perry was a pretty wild lady, believe it or not. If you visited her lab, you could watch her create and conduct lightning. She could run the entire lab on the stuff. Gotta wonder what she did with that when she wasn't at work. Now they just plug the devices in like everybody else. Last week I went and watched a guy trying to work electricity to pass his exam. He made one lightbulb flicker on. Compare this guy to Perry, he's, like, the 'Static Shock Alchemist!'"
Dan Spade seemed undeterred by the subdued response he received, tugging on his checkered bow tie and continuing on in this manner. "And then, of course you all know the Flame Alchemist. He's made good. Maybe you saw that movie that's based on his exploits?"
"Don't talk about that," Roy grumbled quietly into his drink.
Jean Havoc smirked, but chose not to add his own comments about the film. "Did you know Electric? Would she like being joked about like this?"
"Eh, I think she'd be proud that people are still talking about her lab."
Fortunately for the general's mood, the comedian stuck with his theme of "State Alchemists then and now" comparison. "General Mustang can snap his fingers and make fire. A few days ago, I saw an alchemist paint a diagram about a yard in diameter just to turn the mixture he poured out of one tiny flask into a handful of salt crystals.
"You know they'll certify just about anybody these days. And the names they get! I can't make this stuff up! Have you met the Topiary Alchemist? He does a lot of very artistic work with trees. I think it's an agricultural thing. Anyone in the audience who can explain it to me without putting me to sleep I will buy a drink for tonight after the show!"
Havoc turned to Roy. "Hybrid fruit; tree splicing," he answered in a heartbeat.
"Someone's going to owe you a drink," Havoc grinned wider than he had at any of the jokes.
"There's the Cobalt Alchemist. I think she makes…paint? Honestly, I couldn't tell you for sure. What do you think the Cobalt Alchemist should be doing?
"I want to know who's certifying these people, don't you? Are our taxes going towards paying for these people's research grants? Do you want to be supporting whatever work is done by the Saline Alchemist? The Ester Alchemist? The Blue Rose Alchemist? …Of course, the last time I read about an alchemist with an incomprehensibly flowery name, it turned out he was an explosives expert- yes, you over there looking uncomfortable- you know who I'm talking about, mister- so I guess one should not always judge an alchemist by his name. For all I know, Blue Rose is going to revolutionize plastics! Or medicine! Or…something. I have no idea what that guy does."
"This stuff is terrible," Havoc groaned, "I thought your sense of humor was at least a little more sophisticated than this, sir."
"It's not the humor in the jokes that's making me laugh," Roy explained, "I love these observations for themselves. Because it means that when ordinary people think of alchemy, it's not as some horrifying tool of war. And because this awkward, silly man is being allowed to publicly make them."
"Well, freedom of speech is a beautiful thing."