Prompt 177, Stand Up Comedy, "Birthday Present"
Title: Birthday Present
Author: Sofipitch
Series: manga/brotherhood
Word Count: 980
Rating: PG
Characters: Edward, Winry, Mustang, Alphonse, Hawkeye
Summary: They weren’t going to be sleeping at night anymore.
Warnings: obnoxious Mustang
A/N: They aren’t words to express how much I loathe the way this piece came out. (I have an inability to tell jokes correctly.)
Edward had been staring at that box for a while now. He didn't know what could possibly be in it, but he knew that whatever it was, it probably wasn't going to be something he liked. It was probably going to be some cruel heartless joke that would have him cursing out the Mustang name for years to come. And the anticipation only built up more and more by the second.
Ethan, like most children, went by the rule of opening the smaller gifts first and the bigger ones last. The present Mustang was so kindly giving him for his birthday was the biggest of all, therefore last. Edward’s eye was twitching as his son wove his way through all the gifts, all he could think about was what monstrosity lay in the box with blue wrapping paper and a red bow on top.
Winry seemed oblivious to Edward’s obvious dilemma, or was just out right choosing to ignore it. She sat on the ground next to Ethan collecting all the wrapping paper around the boy as he tore through the gifts, with Sara sitting in her lap. Edward wondered why people even bothered to wrap the gifts up so beautifully, it didn’t matter to the child. They only thing that was important was what lay inside. You could wrap the gift in newspaper and they wouldn’t care. Edward had even suggested this to Winry, which only got him a sharp look in return.
Ethan finally got to the biggest gift. Edward sent one panicked look Winry’s way, which she returned with a glare, warning him to not say anything. With the chorus of his friend’s voices cheering him on, Ethan ripped through the packaging concealing the biggest gift. Alphonse stifled a laugh, Riza sighed and shook her head, Mustang smiled evilly, and Edward had to resist the urge to castrate him. “Never let Winry invite Mustang to one of your children’s birthday parties again. Much less get them a gift.”
Ethan and all the children present gasped in awe. Ethan turned to his mother excitedly. “Mom! Uncle Roy got me a drum set!”
Winry gave a weak smile. “And what do you tell your Uncle Roy?”
Ethan turned to Mustang, “Thank you Uncle Roy!”
Roy smiled. “You’re welcome. Do you like it?”
“Of course, it’s awesome! Can you help me put it together Mom? Pleeaaseee!”
Winry got up and handed Sara to Edward, ready to put together the one thing that wouldn’t be allowing her to sleep for years to come. Winry usually wasn’t a big fan of Ed’s “ways to get back at Mustang for all the short jokes over the years” (Ed had counted all the times Mustang had called him short and was now intent on getting revenge as may times as Roy had insulted him. How her husband had kept count, Winry would never know.) But when she had seen the drums set and the implications of constant noise, a part of her was hoping that Ed carry out with his task of getting back at the major general.
“No it’s okay Winry, I’ll do it.” Alphonse stepped in the way and went over to Ethan, who was trying to shred the box open with his finger nails. “You just go sit down and relax.”
Winry rolled her eyes at her brother. “I can do it Al, I don’t need-“
Al pulled her closer and whispered into her ear. “I’m going to set it up with Alchemy, but I’m going to see if there is a way for me to make it quieter.” Al smirked. “So that Ethan can enjoy his gift and you and Ed can sleep at night.”
Winry smiled and whispered, “Thank you Al.”
He gave crooked grin. “No problem.”
Al walked over to the box and removed the many children who were gathered around it, who were trying in a futile attempt to get to the inner contents of the box. He shot Mustang a look no one could decipher as he pulled out the parts to the many different drums. Mustang just gave Al a dumb look in return. Riza shot him a stern one, which was also returned with an innocent one.
Ed walked over to Winry with Sara squirming in his arms. “What’s Al doing?”
Winry leaned over and said in a hushed voice, “Al’s gonna try to make the drum produce less noise with alchemy. That’s why he’s setting it up.” Ed gave a relived look and Winry smiled.
They both sat down and Winry tried to feed Sara her lunch while Ed held her in place. Mustang walked over while Winry was trying to get Sara to open her mouth. “So, do you guys think he liked it?”
They both shot the man a dark look. “Of course he likes it.” Ed answered. “Maybe he can join you on your stand up comedy act.”
“Or maybe he can try and tune it out.” Winry offered. Sara let out a whine and Winry picked her up and carried her up the stairs to her room to rest. Not, of course, before shooting Roy a sharp look.
Mustang’s eyes widened at Winry’s remark. “Wow,” he turned to Edward, “she bites?”
Ed snorted. “You don’t know the half of it.”
They both turned to the living room when the heard Ethan “play” the drums. All the children invited to the party started throwing themselves over each other wanting to get a chance to play with the gift. Al smiled and winked at Ed.
“Isn’t that supposed to be louder?” Mustang asked eyeing the drum set the children were pushing each other over to play with. He could have sworn he had bought the loudest one.
Ed rolled his eyes at the man’s question. “Thank goodness for Alphonse.” He said under his breath. Without him, he wouldn’t have been sleeping tonight.