Backlog: Dave & Kurt
Who: Kurt and Dave
When: January 21, 2012
Where: Phone, McKinley
What: One Step Forward Two Steps back.
Dave at at his desk in his room and stared at his phone. It had been three days since he had spoken to Kurt in the boys bathroom. He takes a deep breath and hits the send button. “This is gonna suck.” Dave whispers to himself as he raises the phone to his ear.
Kurt is sitting at home, giving himself a French manicure. He looks towards his phone. “....bad time.” he mutters and pics it up carefully, not to ruin his work. “Kurt Hummel´s cell-phone” a small sigh escapes his lips. Friendly tone, overall.
Dave sat up straight when he heard Kurt’s voice. “Hey..ummm Kurt it’s Dave...Dave Karofsky.” ‘Real smooth Dave.’ “Y-you gave me your number the other day...” Dave ran his fingers threw his hair and down to the back of his neck. “...and you told me to call you.” Dave was stalling.
Kurt looked down at his nails once, before he pulled up his knees and rested his arm on them. “I know..” he had been thinking about it a lot. He looked out the window. He was not sure why Dave called him.. he was a bit worried that Dave had bad news. “Do you have anything to tell me?” he asked, trying to pull Dave out of his shell.
“I...” Dave’s voice was shaky.”...want you to promise not to judge me on my decision.” Dave swallowed hard. “I’m not going to be able to join glee club. I thought I might me able too but the other guys on the hockey team...” He leaned forward in his chair. “...would definitely not be cool with it.”
Kurt was silent for a moment. “... Ok.” he answered. “Ok, that´s your choice..” he sounded completely neutral.” it was no surprise to him that Dave couldn´t handle the pressure of what his friends would do.. he could take the bullying. He didn´t like it, but he knew he had to. Dave didn´t. He had a choice.
“I’m sorry...” Dave stood up and walked over to his bed and laid down on it. “But the other guys heard about the run in with the guys on the football team. They wanted to know why I was defending you. I told them I wasn’t. That I thought what they did was messed up, I mean come on they shoved you into traffic. I told them what I said about Fags hitting each other. They got a good laugh out of the but then Cooper said ‘next thing you know Karofsky go gay and join up the glee club with the other fags’.” Dave choked out the last word. “I didn’t take that well...I said some things I’m not proud of about you and Hudson.” Dave felt ashamed. “But it took their focus off of me. I’m sorry, Kurt.”
Kurt shook his head to himself, even though he knew Dave couldn´t see his disappointment. “It´s OK, Dave.. you know I´m not crazy about what you and your friends say about me and the rest of the glee club. To put it mildly. But as I´ve already said to you.. Your point of view. But don´t expect me to be happy about it.” he looked down at his toes and started working on a pedicure. “I hope you become brave enough to stand up for yourself and who you are.. or else you´re always going to stay on their level.” He couldn´t help but be very disappointed.. he didn´t know what he had expected. Dave to just suddenly turn around and become one of the losers for old times sake? Heavens, Kurt himself barely remembered that they had been friends! He only had a couple of memories from that time.. one of them being building a sand castle where their action figures lived together.. and Kurt knew he had a kindergarten boyfriend, but he was pretty sure that was somebody else.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get there in this town.” Dave was playing with the fringe on his blanket. “I have to ask you something though.” He rubbed his eye with the heel of his palm. “Can I still keep your number if I ever need someone to talk to? Dave looked up at the fan on his ceiling waiting for an answer.
Kurt made a thinking sound. “.. Yes, of course” It couldn't hurt helping another closeted gay teen, could it? That alone was enough to make it feel like they had some kind of connection. And he would almost say that Dave´s case was worse than his own.. Or, at least they were both in the risk of getting horribly harassed or beat up. “But the same rule still applies. If my number gets out to any of the stick swinging Neanderthals you hang around with, you have to delete it.” or else he´d have to change his number. Either one.
“I promise. It’s not saved under your name anyway so if they see it they won’t know that it’s yours.” Dave smiled to himself for thinking ahead. “I mean I can’t have them bothering ‘Doctor Lowenstein’ now can I.” Dave chuckled to himself.
“How do you know of my goddess Barbra!?” Kurts voice was high pitched as he asked that. He was clearly surprised... Almost stunned and breathless. “Naming someone after Barbra Streisand in any shape or form is like the highest form of flattery!”
“Oh..Is it?” He had no idea what Kurt was talking about. “Well..I’m glad Kurt But what does me calling you Doctor Lowenstein have to do with Barbra Streisand?” Dave had a confused look on his face. “It’s what my mom would always call her best friend when she wanted to talk about her problems that and I thought it was a fun name to say...Lo-ween-stein.”
Kurt was till smiling.. even though it had shown to just be a coincidence. “Barbra Streisand played Doctor Lowenstein in Prince of Tides.” he explained. “she is brilliant in every way! And brilliant in her imperfections!” He sounded like a love struck teenage boy.. which he was to some extent.
“Well that makes since...my mom loved Barbra Streisand...Sorry but I wasn’t a big fan. My Dad and I usually would go fishing or something when her and her friends would have their marathons.” Dave got quiet thinking of his mom before she got sick laughing with her friends and one of their get-togethers.
“I wouldn´t expect you to be a Barbra Streisand fan anyway... Hence why I was so surprised to be Doctor Lowenstein” Kurt smiled at the last words. “I´d think you were more a comic-book-and-exploding-cars kinda type.” like Finn, more or less.
“Comics yes...I love those, As for exploding cars...seems a waste. Car chases on the other hand are awesome to watch. Zooming down the street at like 100 miles an hour zipping in and out of traffic..but come to think of it some of the best chase scenes do end in at least one of them going boom,” Dave chuckled. “Wow, Kurt. I felt like crap when I first called and I know you don’t like the way I’m choosing to be but you do make it easy to relax and just talk.” Dave couldn’t help but think life would be so much easier without high school.
Kurt let himself drop back against the pillows. He looked up into the ceiling. “I´m not surprised..” He smiled at how Dave talked so excitedly about the car chase scenes. “I would rather repair cars than make them go boom, as you so picturesquely explained it.” there was a tone of laughter in his voice. Not a total laugh, but enough to show that he enjoyed himself. He fixed a stray hair on his forehead. “This is how it could be all the time, David..” he said, softly. “If you chose to leave the ham-brains on your team.. I´m sure you could find a more accepting hockey team somewhere in town.. or in one of the neighboring ones, since this one generally don´t have so much to offer on it´s own.. Not in fabulous restaurants either..”
“Kurt...” Dave’s voice got serious. “That’s not going to happen.” He signed at the thought of his situation. “If I’m going to get out of this town I need to be on the school hockey team. That’s who the college recruiters come to see. Not some local non-school affiliated team....which by the way is non-existent in this town. I mean baseball is starting soon but is the same there too.” Dave just had a bleak look at what his future may hold. “I can’t Kurt if they got a clue about me that would end any future I ever wanted in sports. And don’t tell me that’s not true...I want you right now to tell me any professional Baseball player or Hockey player that is gay.”
“I honestly don´t know, David.. I´m not that into sports..” Kurt honestly said.. but then again, he WAS into the ATHLETES.. if football players and such could be categorized as athletes. Kurt smiled and blushed at the thought. He got serious again. “But if there is no openly gay football or baseball players.. maybe you could help change that. Not that I think it´s that easy to change the homophobic view of sports fans, but it has to start somewhere. If you were brave enough, maybe you could do that. Start a revolution!”
“Oh...is that I’ll I have to do.” Dave sneered. “I’m a freshman in high school, Kurt, Seriously though. What revolution am I going to be able to start in Lima ‘Freaking’ Ohio?” Dave honestly couldn’t believe what Kurt had said. “That has got to be the absolute worst advice I have ever heard. It’s like you want me to go out there and get my ass kicked as payback or...” Dave had a sudden fear rush through his mind. “Wait!? You haven’t told Hudson have you?”
Kurt sighed. Ok, maybe that had just been wishful thinking. “I´m sorry, David... And NO, I would never tell Finn!! I know you hate each other, and I don´t believe in outing other people at all.” he said, his voice giving away that he was a bit tired.. either tired-tired, or tired of something Dave had said. He looked towards the window. It was dark out. He stood up to put his nail polish and all away. “Sorry I tried to blow some spirit into you. I won´t do that again. Goodnight, David.”
“Good!” Dave yelled into the phone. “But you or I don’t have to worry about it cause I’ll loose your number and you can delete mine and We can just pretend none of this ever happen!!” Dave slammed the phone shut. ‘Real smooth asshole.’ He couldn’t help but think. ‘Kurt will probably out you before homeroom tomorrow.’ “You’re an idiot.” Dave said to himself as he placed his phone on the nightstand and started to get ready for bed. ‘Kurt said he didn’t believe in outing. I guess I’ll see if that’s true tomorrow.’ was all Dave thought about as he started to drift to sleep not remembering to ‘loose’ Kurt’s number.
Kurt deleted Dave’s number as Dave had told him to. He went to bed in a very bad mood. “.. Ungrateful bastard..” he muttered. The next day he was proudly walking down the hallway as usual, as he kept a watchful eye on everyone he passed. He was a bit more wary than usual because of his fight with David the last night.. as far as Kurt knew, it wouldn´t be beyond him to take revenge and go back to bullying as always.. then they really could forget it ever happened. The blackout was always in the back of his mind, but he ignored it right now. He was convinced it was no more than a dream. He stopped by his locker to pick up his books. He quickly looked over his shoulder once.. he didn´t see anybody. One of his eyebrows rose. This was too easy.. something had to be going on..
As Dave rounded the corner of the hallway with two of his teammates he saw Kurt standing next to his locker. This was it. The guys on the team decided Dave should show everyone where the Hockey team stood when it came people like Kurt. He felt the sweat of the cold drink in his hand. It was like caring a ton of bricks in his hand. Kurt had all the cards as Dave saw it. He knew doing this could piss Kurt off so bad that he would out Dave. He just prayed Kurt would understand. That he meant it when he said he didn't believe in outing. As the neared Kurt he hoped that Kurt could see the apologetic look in his eyes. Dave raised the cup up and tossed the red icy liquid.
Kurt was less attentive now that he had made sure no one was there. He didn´t see Dave or the other guys coming. The only thing he manages to see before he feels the freezing cold slushie hits his face is which color it has, and who threw it at him. It stings his eyes. He grabs the door of the locker to keep himself steadily standing. He gasps as if he has trouble breathing for a second and his teeth are almost chattering. He tries to remove most of it from his face with his hands, but what he cannot remove is the humiliation he feels. That´s more painful than the icy stinging in itself, and he can´t even run away to the bathroom yet since he cannot see.
Dave didn’t even look back, he could't. The walls were back up and the line in the sand was no longer blurred. What had he been think talking to Kurt? Dave knew why...It’s because he wanted someone to know what he was going through. No. Not someone... Kurt. Even if Kurt hated him now it would be for the right reasons. He was a coward and his mask back on. Dave crumpled up the empty cup in his hand and threw it into the trash. He walked with his ‘friends’ to their classes. Things were finally back to normal.
When: January 21, 2012
Where: Phone, McKinley
What: One Step Forward Two Steps back.
Dave at at his desk in his room and stared at his phone. It had been three days since he had spoken to Kurt in the boys bathroom. He takes a deep breath and hits the send button. “This is gonna suck.” Dave whispers to himself as he raises the phone to his ear.
Kurt is sitting at home, giving himself a French manicure. He looks towards his phone. “....bad time.” he mutters and pics it up carefully, not to ruin his work. “Kurt Hummel´s cell-phone” a small sigh escapes his lips. Friendly tone, overall.
Dave sat up straight when he heard Kurt’s voice. “Hey..ummm Kurt it’s Dave...Dave Karofsky.” ‘Real smooth Dave.’ “Y-you gave me your number the other day...” Dave ran his fingers threw his hair and down to the back of his neck. “...and you told me to call you.” Dave was stalling.
Kurt looked down at his nails once, before he pulled up his knees and rested his arm on them. “I know..” he had been thinking about it a lot. He looked out the window. He was not sure why Dave called him.. he was a bit worried that Dave had bad news. “Do you have anything to tell me?” he asked, trying to pull Dave out of his shell.
“I...” Dave’s voice was shaky.”...want you to promise not to judge me on my decision.” Dave swallowed hard. “I’m not going to be able to join glee club. I thought I might me able too but the other guys on the hockey team...” He leaned forward in his chair. “...would definitely not be cool with it.”
Kurt was silent for a moment. “... Ok.” he answered. “Ok, that´s your choice..” he sounded completely neutral.” it was no surprise to him that Dave couldn´t handle the pressure of what his friends would do.. he could take the bullying. He didn´t like it, but he knew he had to. Dave didn´t. He had a choice.
“I’m sorry...” Dave stood up and walked over to his bed and laid down on it. “But the other guys heard about the run in with the guys on the football team. They wanted to know why I was defending you. I told them I wasn’t. That I thought what they did was messed up, I mean come on they shoved you into traffic. I told them what I said about Fags hitting each other. They got a good laugh out of the but then Cooper said ‘next thing you know Karofsky go gay and join up the glee club with the other fags’.” Dave choked out the last word. “I didn’t take that well...I said some things I’m not proud of about you and Hudson.” Dave felt ashamed. “But it took their focus off of me. I’m sorry, Kurt.”
Kurt shook his head to himself, even though he knew Dave couldn´t see his disappointment. “It´s OK, Dave.. you know I´m not crazy about what you and your friends say about me and the rest of the glee club. To put it mildly. But as I´ve already said to you.. Your point of view. But don´t expect me to be happy about it.” he looked down at his toes and started working on a pedicure. “I hope you become brave enough to stand up for yourself and who you are.. or else you´re always going to stay on their level.” He couldn´t help but be very disappointed.. he didn´t know what he had expected. Dave to just suddenly turn around and become one of the losers for old times sake? Heavens, Kurt himself barely remembered that they had been friends! He only had a couple of memories from that time.. one of them being building a sand castle where their action figures lived together.. and Kurt knew he had a kindergarten boyfriend, but he was pretty sure that was somebody else.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get there in this town.” Dave was playing with the fringe on his blanket. “I have to ask you something though.” He rubbed his eye with the heel of his palm. “Can I still keep your number if I ever need someone to talk to? Dave looked up at the fan on his ceiling waiting for an answer.
Kurt made a thinking sound. “.. Yes, of course” It couldn't hurt helping another closeted gay teen, could it? That alone was enough to make it feel like they had some kind of connection. And he would almost say that Dave´s case was worse than his own.. Or, at least they were both in the risk of getting horribly harassed or beat up. “But the same rule still applies. If my number gets out to any of the stick swinging Neanderthals you hang around with, you have to delete it.” or else he´d have to change his number. Either one.
“I promise. It’s not saved under your name anyway so if they see it they won’t know that it’s yours.” Dave smiled to himself for thinking ahead. “I mean I can’t have them bothering ‘Doctor Lowenstein’ now can I.” Dave chuckled to himself.
“How do you know of my goddess Barbra!?” Kurts voice was high pitched as he asked that. He was clearly surprised... Almost stunned and breathless. “Naming someone after Barbra Streisand in any shape or form is like the highest form of flattery!”
“Oh..Is it?” He had no idea what Kurt was talking about. “Well..I’m glad Kurt But what does me calling you Doctor Lowenstein have to do with Barbra Streisand?” Dave had a confused look on his face. “It’s what my mom would always call her best friend when she wanted to talk about her problems that and I thought it was a fun name to say...Lo-ween-stein.”
Kurt was till smiling.. even though it had shown to just be a coincidence. “Barbra Streisand played Doctor Lowenstein in Prince of Tides.” he explained. “she is brilliant in every way! And brilliant in her imperfections!” He sounded like a love struck teenage boy.. which he was to some extent.
“Well that makes since...my mom loved Barbra Streisand...Sorry but I wasn’t a big fan. My Dad and I usually would go fishing or something when her and her friends would have their marathons.” Dave got quiet thinking of his mom before she got sick laughing with her friends and one of their get-togethers.
“I wouldn´t expect you to be a Barbra Streisand fan anyway... Hence why I was so surprised to be Doctor Lowenstein” Kurt smiled at the last words. “I´d think you were more a comic-book-and-exploding-cars kinda type.” like Finn, more or less.
“Comics yes...I love those, As for exploding cars...seems a waste. Car chases on the other hand are awesome to watch. Zooming down the street at like 100 miles an hour zipping in and out of traffic..but come to think of it some of the best chase scenes do end in at least one of them going boom,” Dave chuckled. “Wow, Kurt. I felt like crap when I first called and I know you don’t like the way I’m choosing to be but you do make it easy to relax and just talk.” Dave couldn’t help but think life would be so much easier without high school.
Kurt let himself drop back against the pillows. He looked up into the ceiling. “I´m not surprised..” He smiled at how Dave talked so excitedly about the car chase scenes. “I would rather repair cars than make them go boom, as you so picturesquely explained it.” there was a tone of laughter in his voice. Not a total laugh, but enough to show that he enjoyed himself. He fixed a stray hair on his forehead. “This is how it could be all the time, David..” he said, softly. “If you chose to leave the ham-brains on your team.. I´m sure you could find a more accepting hockey team somewhere in town.. or in one of the neighboring ones, since this one generally don´t have so much to offer on it´s own.. Not in fabulous restaurants either..”
“Kurt...” Dave’s voice got serious. “That’s not going to happen.” He signed at the thought of his situation. “If I’m going to get out of this town I need to be on the school hockey team. That’s who the college recruiters come to see. Not some local non-school affiliated team....which by the way is non-existent in this town. I mean baseball is starting soon but is the same there too.” Dave just had a bleak look at what his future may hold. “I can’t Kurt if they got a clue about me that would end any future I ever wanted in sports. And don’t tell me that’s not true...I want you right now to tell me any professional Baseball player or Hockey player that is gay.”
“I honestly don´t know, David.. I´m not that into sports..” Kurt honestly said.. but then again, he WAS into the ATHLETES.. if football players and such could be categorized as athletes. Kurt smiled and blushed at the thought. He got serious again. “But if there is no openly gay football or baseball players.. maybe you could help change that. Not that I think it´s that easy to change the homophobic view of sports fans, but it has to start somewhere. If you were brave enough, maybe you could do that. Start a revolution!”
“Oh...is that I’ll I have to do.” Dave sneered. “I’m a freshman in high school, Kurt, Seriously though. What revolution am I going to be able to start in Lima ‘Freaking’ Ohio?” Dave honestly couldn’t believe what Kurt had said. “That has got to be the absolute worst advice I have ever heard. It’s like you want me to go out there and get my ass kicked as payback or...” Dave had a sudden fear rush through his mind. “Wait!? You haven’t told Hudson have you?”
Kurt sighed. Ok, maybe that had just been wishful thinking. “I´m sorry, David... And NO, I would never tell Finn!! I know you hate each other, and I don´t believe in outing other people at all.” he said, his voice giving away that he was a bit tired.. either tired-tired, or tired of something Dave had said. He looked towards the window. It was dark out. He stood up to put his nail polish and all away. “Sorry I tried to blow some spirit into you. I won´t do that again. Goodnight, David.”
“Good!” Dave yelled into the phone. “But you or I don’t have to worry about it cause I’ll loose your number and you can delete mine and We can just pretend none of this ever happen!!” Dave slammed the phone shut. ‘Real smooth asshole.’ He couldn’t help but think. ‘Kurt will probably out you before homeroom tomorrow.’ “You’re an idiot.” Dave said to himself as he placed his phone on the nightstand and started to get ready for bed. ‘Kurt said he didn’t believe in outing. I guess I’ll see if that’s true tomorrow.’ was all Dave thought about as he started to drift to sleep not remembering to ‘loose’ Kurt’s number.
Kurt deleted Dave’s number as Dave had told him to. He went to bed in a very bad mood. “.. Ungrateful bastard..” he muttered. The next day he was proudly walking down the hallway as usual, as he kept a watchful eye on everyone he passed. He was a bit more wary than usual because of his fight with David the last night.. as far as Kurt knew, it wouldn´t be beyond him to take revenge and go back to bullying as always.. then they really could forget it ever happened. The blackout was always in the back of his mind, but he ignored it right now. He was convinced it was no more than a dream. He stopped by his locker to pick up his books. He quickly looked over his shoulder once.. he didn´t see anybody. One of his eyebrows rose. This was too easy.. something had to be going on..
As Dave rounded the corner of the hallway with two of his teammates he saw Kurt standing next to his locker. This was it. The guys on the team decided Dave should show everyone where the Hockey team stood when it came people like Kurt. He felt the sweat of the cold drink in his hand. It was like caring a ton of bricks in his hand. Kurt had all the cards as Dave saw it. He knew doing this could piss Kurt off so bad that he would out Dave. He just prayed Kurt would understand. That he meant it when he said he didn't believe in outing. As the neared Kurt he hoped that Kurt could see the apologetic look in his eyes. Dave raised the cup up and tossed the red icy liquid.
Kurt was less attentive now that he had made sure no one was there. He didn´t see Dave or the other guys coming. The only thing he manages to see before he feels the freezing cold slushie hits his face is which color it has, and who threw it at him. It stings his eyes. He grabs the door of the locker to keep himself steadily standing. He gasps as if he has trouble breathing for a second and his teeth are almost chattering. He tries to remove most of it from his face with his hands, but what he cannot remove is the humiliation he feels. That´s more painful than the icy stinging in itself, and he can´t even run away to the bathroom yet since he cannot see.
Dave didn’t even look back, he could't. The walls were back up and the line in the sand was no longer blurred. What had he been think talking to Kurt? Dave knew why...It’s because he wanted someone to know what he was going through. No. Not someone... Kurt. Even if Kurt hated him now it would be for the right reasons. He was a coward and his mask back on. Dave crumpled up the empty cup in his hand and threw it into the trash. He walked with his ‘friends’ to their classes. Things were finally back to normal.