Backlog: Kurt & Dave
Who: Kurt and Dave
When: January 18, 2012
Where: Boys bathroom
What: Bathroom Confessional
Dave gathered his books from his locker. Yesterday had been a total disaster. First that weird blackout that happen and of course it had to be on his birthday. That was just his luck. As soon as that happen any plans he had made were instantly out the window. He didn’t even get a present. His Dad didn’t even remember. They both spent the entire night watching the news and looking on the internet for any information for what had caused this event. And that was exactly what this was, a global event. Something that has never happened before in recorded human history. His dad and him spent hours bouncing theories off of each other. That part was actually pretty fun. So I guess I present even if dad forgot. Well that was not entirely true Dave woke up this morning with a note from his dad and slice of chocolate cake from the cafe down the street. It was a damn good piece of cake. His dad was awesome, Dave would never want to disappoint him. And that dream he had during the black out... what the hell did it even mean? Yeah Dave’s had plenty of dreams about Kurt but nothing without Kurt actually being there and most certainly not about killing himself. Yeah, he’s thought about it but never dreamed about it. Dave realized he had been standing there with his head in his locker for about ten minutes. Dave finished getting his books and started on his way to class.
Kurt stood there, watching Dave for a couple of minutes.. Why didn´t Dave move? His thoughts drifted off to the black out. He had been thinking about it a lot since then. Mostly just about why it had happened.. and he was confused. Why had Dave been part of his dream? He hadn´t had many experiences at all about Dave.. heck, he wouldn´t even have known his name if it wasn´t for that dream. He had no idea how his subconscious had known. He must´ve heard it somewhere... he blinked a couple of times and returned to the real world from his thoughts and realized how weird it must´ve looked.. As Dave stared into his locker and Kurt stared at him. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure he wasn´t followed, and then hurried to class.
Dave had nearly run into Kurt as he hurried to class. “Excuse me Kurt.” That was shockingly sincere for Dave. He moved quickly past the boy. Dave had forgotten to put up his guard for a moment and then remembered where he was. “Remember to stay out of my why next time, Fancy.” He sneered loudly to make sure others had heard Dave made his way toward his class as quickly as possible. ‘What the hell is wrong with me? If I keep that up everyone will know.’ The bathroom was as good a place as any to get some privacy. He made his way to one of the stalls and locked himself in and sat on the toilet. Panic attacks were nothing new to Dave. He had little ones nearly on a daily basis. This one though left him a bit shaken and he didn’t understand why.. He figured he could ride first period out in the bathroom and no one would notice.
Kurt walked to his break period a bit early.. he didn´t feel completely up to it so he left math early. He went to the bathroom to splash some water in his face. He sighed heavily and brushed the hair out of his eyes. He looked into the mirror. “Kurt Hummel.. you´ve got to get yourself together now.. It was just a bad, bad dream...” The hallways were still quiet.
Dave heard footsteps in the bathroom. He kept quiet while he listened to the other boy speak. Dave took a deep breath and sighed. ‘What the hell’ he thought to himself. “You have a bad one too?” Dave asked still in the stall. He hoped Kurt had heard him.
Kurt jumped two feet into the air. “Who is it?!” he was obviously on guard. He looked towards the stalls and took a few steps back, towards the door.
“It’s Dave uh... I mean Karofsky.” Dave slowly opened the door. “Are we alone?” Sounding more like a little kid than he rightly should have.
Kurt’s brows furrowed. “Yes..” he tried to keep calm and rational.. he was close enough to the door that he could flee if this got out of hand. “Why? If you throw a pee balloon at me...!” threateningly
Dave raised his hands up quickly. “I won’t...I never did. uh...I threw mine around you but i didn’t hit you with them.” Dave knew that probably didn’t make Kurt feel better about the incident. He would if he knew what was really in the balloons.
“And I´m supposed to believe that?” Kurt looked at him skeptically.. but there was still something in his eyes. Hesitation of some kind.. he remembered how Dave had been his boyfriend in his weird dream.. and how terrified he was of losing him. He turned his gaze away. “What do you want?”
“It’s true...I’ve never slushied you either. I’ve slushie Hudson, he deserved it, and some of the others...” Dave ran his fingers threw his hair. “..But I haven’t slushied you. That’s gotta count for a modicom of trust doesn’t it?”
“Why do you WANT my trust?” Kurt looked up into his eyes. He was tense and a slight bit confused.
“It’s just after yesterday...” Dave searched for the right words. “I’m scared. That blackout shook be to my core and I’m not sure how to process it.”
Kurt stood still for a moment. “...you remember it too? I thought it was a dream..” he shuddered at the thought and felt all cold inside. “..it was strange.. nobody knows what caused it..
“My dad thinks it was the government playing with the HAARP weapon. He’s a conspiracy nut. that show that has Jesse Ventura said that it could be used to control people’s minds. A website he goes to says they think it malfunctioned.” Dave shrugged. “It’s as good a theory as any out there eventho.... I’m sorry I tend to babble when I’m nervous.”
Kurt stares at him. “...you´re kidding.” he was feeling a bit insecure again. “...you make it sound like your dad is the hero of some sci-fi show..”
“Nah…he just watches waaay too much TV. I’m a second generation Whovian, and proud of it. But that other show, some of that conspiracy theory stuff, is insane.” Dave started to feel relaxed. “Personally, I think they’re nuts with the HAARP weapon theory’ I’m mean yeah interesting theory but no solid proof. I like to think that it makes earthquakes and controls the weather. I mean it stand for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. So they are doing something to the Aurora Borealis using radio waves. Worst case scenario, we flip the magnetic poles but not a massive human blackout.” Dave thought he might be boring Kurt. “Oh lord I did it again with the babbling…seriously just tell me to shut up.”
Kurt tried following him in what he was saying but it was... hard. “Why do you spend your time learning stuff like that when you could learn to become a decent human being?” He still didn´t trust Dave.. he stood here in front of who he perceived to be one of the people who had made his life a living hell was tough. But still, the bullying hadn´t been so bad yet that he didn´t stay. The blackout had made a difference.
Dave’s face fell. “You’re right Kurt. I’m an ass, but I have to be, out there, or they’ll eat me alive.” Dave ran his fingers through his hair again out of frustration. “Do you remember what it was like for me in fifth and sixth grade? I was the butt of a lot jokes for those years. I had to learn to toughen up and strike first and show them that I could be a guy that they shouldn’t mess with. It’s what you have to do to survive here.” Dave leaned back against the stall door. “Do you even know what it’s like to be afraid that they’ll know you aren’t like them?” ‘Shit’ Dave thought. ‘I may have said too much.’
Kurt listened to him and his eyes softened up as Dave went on. He listened quietly untill the end, but that was when Kurt got a bit on the defensive side again. “If I know what it´s like!? You bet!” he almost yelled. “But I can´t hide the way you do! I could never harm someone to blend in the way you do!” he wasn´t officially out of the closet yet. He knew many had already figured out his secret. The bullying was proof enough of that. But still, he feared that if he came out, even to his friends, the bullying would get even worse. And what would his dad say? He was terrified.
Dave flinched at Kurt’s words. “I haven’t harmed anyone?” Dave had a look of confusing. “Yeah I’ve slushied and shoulder checked people and maybe thrown around some name calling...but so has your precious Finn up until recently.” Dave almost spit that last part out like venom.
“Don´t say a WORD about Finn!” Kurt pointed threateningly up at Dave. He was very tense.. He took a step closer to him. “Finn has been one of the few people who stood up to you and your little Neanderthal friends!”
“Oh yeah...It’s real easy to stand up to people you’ve always looked down on.” tears were welling up in Dave’s eyes. “All of sudden he’s nice to you for a second and you become one of his lap dogs.” Dave was getting angrier. “I know my balloons missed. Can you say the same for his?”
Kurt was shocked. Was Dave CRYING?! “... N, no but...” he stuttered. He was staring at him wide eyed. He fell silent. It was as if his voice disappeared and he had no idea what to make of himself. He was so.. confused. Was Dave telling the truth? Couldn´t really doubt it anymore..
Dave turned away from Kurt to wipes his eyes. “It’s a stupid argument anyway...The pee balloon thing. It wasn’t even freaking pee.” Dave turn back to Kurt. “Why do even think I was there in the first place with Hudson and the football team. It was so I could be the one to fill them up. They all thought it was piss but It was a one part solution of mountain dew ,one part warm water and the a cup of ammonia for smell.” Dave stood a little taller. “And that is the wonders of science gone wrong..or right if you are the victim.” He looked at Kurt to see if what he was saying was being heard or falling on deaf ears.
Kurt blinked a couple of times.. Dave knew a thing or two about science. Who would ever have thought that? “... I don´t know if I can trust you, Karofsky..” he said, slowly. “This could all just be something you´re making up.. or part of some plan to make me believe you so you can lure me into a trap..” his voice was quiet to make sure only Dave heard it. He was very serious. “.. but.. if this is not just something you´ve learned from a tv-show or something.. I think it´s such a waste of intelligence that you use your it to make pee balloons..” he wasn´t smiling yet. He didn´t know what to believe. He picked up his bag.
“How is it a waste? I get straight As in my math, history. and science classes...Hell I don’t even have to go to my math class I gave the teacher the answers every problem in the book second week here. He gives me problems from other books to do in my free time. As long as I show up on test day he’s cool with it. I may even get to skip some of my math classes and go straight to the higher levels.” Dave was babbling again. “Now English and foreign languages those can suck it. And you defend people who think I can leave for ten minutes and come back with a gallons worth of piss in neatly tied balloon. I ask you which seems to be more of a waste?”
Kurt listened to what Dave had to say and sighed once. “That´s all very impressive David.. if not a bit of an insult to my best subjects..” French having been one of them. “But that was not my point. My point is.. if you have such a gifted brain, it´s a waste using your talents to do mean things to people.. or help the mean people, if you really didn´t want to harm me.” he felt a bit better now.. relieved, in a way. There was a chance he had an ally in the enemy’s camp.“Look I love hockey and baseball... and what do you think the other players on the teams would be like if I didn’t go along with them? Do you know how much shit I went thru just to convince them that it was against my religion to grow a mullet?” Dave cringed at the thought of that hair style. “All I’m saying is that I have a part to play out there and as far as I can tell I’m doing a HELL of a job keeping them off my back.” Dave points to the wall as the says them as if a group of people are standing there.
Kurt cringed with him at the thought of that most unfashionable hairstyle. He looked behind him at the wall for a moment. Then back at Dave. “Then it´s a question of priority... you have every right to have your own point of view.. just don´t expect me to agree with it.” he turned to the door and opened it.
“Wait? You’re leaving?...”Dave’s voice again sounded like a scared little boy. “But I thought...” Seriously, what had Dave thought? “...we were talking about stuff and...” Dave stepped closer to Kurt. “...could you just not hate me for what I do or may say?” Dave was pleading with his eyes. “I don’t mean it.”
Kurt stopped. He had his hand resting on the doorknob. “.. I will think about it.” he answered. “But the things you say hurt, David.” he looked up at him. “I don´t know what you expect from all of this.. Or why you suddenly want to talk to me and want me to understand you... Is it the blackout..?”
“Kinda...” Dave paused for a moment.”But I’ve wanted to tell you forever that I’m not like them.” He retreated into his mind’s eye think of the blackout. “It was like a twisted version of what I most desired...”Kurt being his boyfriend.”...and what I feared the most. “ People finding out he was gay. “I just knew that if I never told you at least some of the truth I would regret it.” Again tears came up to the surface of his eyes.
Kurt thought about his own blackout for a moment. “mine was just.. strange. It was things I had never thought of before.. I have no idea where my subconscious got it from..” he was still convinced it was a dream.. A very lifelike dream. “Some of the truth..? Why don´t you tell me the rest?”
“I can’t...” Dave turned away from Kurt. “I’ve only ever told one person.” Tears started to fall. “My mom had been real sick the past few years...and I prayed everyday that she would get better.” Dave walked to the sink and grabbed it’s edges. “I told god if she got better I’d tell someone what was wrong with me.”Dave swallowed hard. “So I could get help....My mom got better..It looked like a full recovery. So I told her my secret and she said she already knew. I was so happy it was the best night’s sleep I had had in a long time. The next morning I was going to tell my dad but when he woke me up that morning he told me my mom had...” Dave dropped to his knees unable to control the flow of tears.
Kurt got a strange, strange feeling inside.. He almost felt sick. What Dave told him reminded him of his own mother... And.. it sounded like Dave’s secret was the same as his own.. he was convinced that was impossible, but.. it still brought tears to his eyes. He slowly walked the few steps from his spot by the door to Dave. He slowly sat down behind him and placed both of his hands on Dave’s shoulders. His head dropped to rest against Dave’s back. “... My mom died too..” he whispered, his voice shaky.
“I know...I remember when she died. You looked so sad after.” Dave was still shaking. “I don’t think you’ve looked truly happy since.” Dave tried to steady his breathing. “Lord, I sound like such a creeper.”
Kurt listened to Dave’s voice. He felt so warm.. it was nice. “..You noticed?” he whispered. “I don´t even remember knowing you back then..” he admitted. He stroke Dave’s shoulders a bit to calm him down.
“You really didn’t. I was too scared to get close to you.” Dave sat up straight and turned around to face Kurt. “I don’t think we’ve hung since kindergarten.”Dave grabbed Kurt’s hand. “Then first and second grade weren’t in the same classes. So I guess you forgot about me. But I could never forget you.” Dave realized he was holding Kurt’s hand and suddenly dropped it. “Sorry... I uh didn’t mean to.”
Kurt´s gaze was very distant.. he tried to remember Dave.. Now that he really thought back, he did have a couple of memories for a curly haired boy with chubby cheeks.. “I think I remember you..” He mumbled. He was surprised himself. He looked up at him. “If we had been friends.. why were you scared to talk to me?” he quickly looked down at their hands as he felt Dave let go. He hadn´t even noticed it himself. “It´s.. alright, I guess..”
“Before I tell you don’t get mad at me or you can but, let me finish what I say before you storm out or slap me or whatever.” Dave just spat that out rather quickly.
Kurt had to think that over for a moment. “Alright...” he said, positioning himself more comfortable on the cold tile floor. “I´m ready.” his brows were furrowed.
“I was scared of you because the other kids were calling you ‘gay’ or ‘fag’ and other names that meant you were different from them.” Dave fidgeted back and forth. “I learned at an early age from my uncle what those words meant and what ‘normal’ people say about them.” Dave steadied himself for what he was about to say. “If I became friends with you then...” He paused a bit longer and in a quick mumble. “TheywouldknowIwaslikeyou.”
“..Pardon?” Kurt didn´t hear the last part. He obviously didn´t want to hit Dave right now.. “I´m not gay!” He said it VERY quickly. It was a lie, but he didn´t want to come out.. not to one of his bullies, or.. former bullies, and not right now.. it might have helped if he had heard what Dave said.
“What?...You’re not?...But everyone says...” Dave was panic stricken. ‘I mean yeah it should be safe to come out to a gay kid but if he was wrong he just screwed himself royally. He jumped to his feet and started pacing the floor. “I didn’t say you were...” ‘Terrible back pedal there Dave’ was all he could think. “Just forget I said anything.”
Kurt was quiet for a moment... “Did you just come out to me..?” Kurt asked, insecurely.. he looked a bit skeptical right there.
“”I had to open the box.” Dave threw his hands in the air. “Couldn’t leave it closed. There it is quantum theory slapping me in the face. Don’t assume the cat’s going to be alive when there is a 50 percent chance that the cat’s .going to be dead.” Dave looked up to the sky. “Frack you, Schrodinger and your little cat too.” He looked back at Kurt. “I’m sorry I assumed you were gay.” Dave started walking toward the door. “Just please don’t tell anyone. They’ll kill me out there.”
Kurt followed him.. He didn´t know what to make of it. “...I would´ve never thought you were...” he mumbled. He looked up at the back of Dave’s head. He quickly looked to either side in the empty hallway. The break was long over. “I have French now...” he looked up at him. “I promise not to tell anyone.” He figured it was for the best to keep his own secret.. at least for now.
“Kurt..I still have to be an ass. Just remember if I’m with the other assholes. Whatever I say to you... It’s not directed at you it’s directed at myself.” He looked up at Kurt one more time. “I can’t let them know....ever.” Dave turned the opposite direction Kurt was going and slowly walked away.
Kurt let him go. He turned and walked to his own class. This was his last period that day. He walked out towards the parking lot afterwards. He knew his dad was coming to pick him up.
After Hiding out in the library for the rest of the school day Dave made his way to the parking lot.
He noticed Kurt Standing outside waiting. He was about to turn and go toward his truck when he saw three letterman jackets walking toward Kurt. “Shit this isn’t going to end well.” Dave mumbled to himself. Dave stood back to see what was about to happen.
Kurt didn´t see neither Dave nor the jocks untill it was too late. One of the football players shoved him roughly out unto the street. Kurt gasped and fell hard to the ground. He only just saved his face from hitting the ground with a few inches to spare. A car that was coming their way almost hit him but luckily got the car to pull to the other side of the road in the last second. It didn´t stop, though, but moved on immediately. The driver yelled some insult out the window at them.
Dave ran up to the jocks. He was going to just try and watch from a distance just incase it escalated into something worse but too late. “What The Hell, dudes? Are you trying to go to
jail?”
The jock laughed. “What is it to you, Karofsky?
“Nothing...I just thought since you new Quarterback being in Homo Explosion and that other fairy you got on your team I figured you fags didn’t hit each other.” Dave puffed up trying to seem bigger than what he already was. ‘Hey it works for other species why not humans.’ he thought.. He may have been a freshman but he was still bigger than most of the members of the team.
“What the hell did that little puck head just say to us?” The three football jocks took their focus from Kurt and were looking at Dave. ‘Please Kurt just get out of here This would be an awesome time for my telepathy to kick in...Damn I read way to many comic books’ Dave prepared himself for the attack.
Kurt quickly got up and jumped of the road as another car came towards him. He looked back at Dave. Adrenalin was burning in his veins. He wanted to do something.. at least something, since he knew this could end very badly.. Dave was big, but probably not big enough to take on all those guys. “Karofsky..!” his voice was shaky. He decided to try some acting and.. pretended to faint. He pretended to slowly lose consciousness and fell to the ground with a weak sigh. The small bruise on his forehead might be enough to help him.
The jocks scattered think they were going to get in trouble for this. Dave ran to Kurt’s side. “Hummel? are you alright dude?” Dave gently put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and gave it a small shake.
Kurt didn´t move or react at all. He breathed slowly in and out through his lips which were halfway parted.. He opened one eye a bit.. then closed it again. He wanted to make sure the jocks were gone.
“I saw that you faker.” A smile was definitely in Dave’s voice. “I ought to leave you here on the ground and let the next car run you down.” Dave grabbed Kurt’s arm “Get up before someone sees us or calls an ambulance.” Dave slightly tugged on Kurt’s arm.
Kurt grinned at Dave. “Pretty impressing performance, if I must say so myself.” he sent him a sly smile before he got up and brushed the dirt of his clothes. He got off the road. He glanced wearily around. “.. did they just run away..?”
“I think they thought something was seriously wrong we you fell and now matter what any of them say when stuff gets real we are all a bunch of kids...and yes it was an excellent performance.” Dave winked at him. “I could have handled them...” He lied. “But thanks for the back-up.”
“Oh I´m sure you could.” Kurt answered, obviously faking admiration. He blinked at him flirtatiously.. just to tease him. He laughed. “You might be a big guy, but I doubt you could take a bunch of gorillas on by yourself, fist to fist. Sometimes a bit of sneakiness is needed.. and I thought that was the right time to pay you back for trying to save me.” he walked with him. “I need both acting- and singing skills if I´m to make it at Broadway!”
“I could totally see you doing that one day. You have a great voice....uh I mean..I’ve heard you a couple times as I uh.. w-walked past the choir room sometimes the auditorium but umm.. I w-wasn’t looking to sneak around or anything please don’t think I would.” Dave stumbled the works out as he fidgeted with his jacket.
.Kurt looked up at Dave He smiled at his shy stuttering. “Thank you, David.” he answered. It was ok.. His cheeks flushing a bit at the attention he was receiving from his former bully, now savior. “Have you thought about joining glee club? We need new members.. I know you´re trying to stay on your hockey buddies´ good side, but then you wouldn´t have to bully anybody and you wouldn´t be alone..”
Dave saw the slight blush on Kurt’s face. ‘Knew it’ He thought to himself. “I’ll think about it Kurt. Lord knows if Finn can do it anyone can. Maybe show him he’s not so special” Dave put his hands in his jacket pockets. “I won’t keep you waiting too long for my answer but I need to weigh the pros and cons, You know make a chart and crunch the numbers.” Dave just stared at Kurt. “You must think I’m an absolute dork.” He shook his head at himself.
Kurt’s smile grew smaller at his insult directed at Finn. But he didn´t say anything, as he knew Dave hated the guys guts after what he had done to him.. it was still hard for Kurt to believe. “I´ll wait for your answer... you can have my number if you promise that it won´t get out to any of your dear gorilla friends.” he could see Burt’s car approaching them.
Dave pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’d lov-like to have have your number a lot.” Dave blushed slightly at his flub. “And I promise no gorillas will get your number, Magilla and King Kong be damned.” Dave laughed at his own joke.
Kurt laughed at his joke as well. Just a little bit. He stopped as Burt’s car pulled over. He quickly gave Dave his number. Burt rolled down the window. “Is that kid bothering you, Kurt?” he asked, protectively. Kurt looked back at Burt. “No dad, it´s alright.. this is Dave. We were friends when we were younger.”
Dave reached his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you again, Mr. Hummel. My name’s Dave Karofsky.”
When: January 18, 2012
Where: Boys bathroom
What: Bathroom Confessional
Dave gathered his books from his locker. Yesterday had been a total disaster. First that weird blackout that happen and of course it had to be on his birthday. That was just his luck. As soon as that happen any plans he had made were instantly out the window. He didn’t even get a present. His Dad didn’t even remember. They both spent the entire night watching the news and looking on the internet for any information for what had caused this event. And that was exactly what this was, a global event. Something that has never happened before in recorded human history. His dad and him spent hours bouncing theories off of each other. That part was actually pretty fun. So I guess I present even if dad forgot. Well that was not entirely true Dave woke up this morning with a note from his dad and slice of chocolate cake from the cafe down the street. It was a damn good piece of cake. His dad was awesome, Dave would never want to disappoint him. And that dream he had during the black out... what the hell did it even mean? Yeah Dave’s had plenty of dreams about Kurt but nothing without Kurt actually being there and most certainly not about killing himself. Yeah, he’s thought about it but never dreamed about it. Dave realized he had been standing there with his head in his locker for about ten minutes. Dave finished getting his books and started on his way to class.
Kurt stood there, watching Dave for a couple of minutes.. Why didn´t Dave move? His thoughts drifted off to the black out. He had been thinking about it a lot since then. Mostly just about why it had happened.. and he was confused. Why had Dave been part of his dream? He hadn´t had many experiences at all about Dave.. heck, he wouldn´t even have known his name if it wasn´t for that dream. He had no idea how his subconscious had known. He must´ve heard it somewhere... he blinked a couple of times and returned to the real world from his thoughts and realized how weird it must´ve looked.. As Dave stared into his locker and Kurt stared at him. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure he wasn´t followed, and then hurried to class.
Dave had nearly run into Kurt as he hurried to class. “Excuse me Kurt.” That was shockingly sincere for Dave. He moved quickly past the boy. Dave had forgotten to put up his guard for a moment and then remembered where he was. “Remember to stay out of my why next time, Fancy.” He sneered loudly to make sure others had heard Dave made his way toward his class as quickly as possible. ‘What the hell is wrong with me? If I keep that up everyone will know.’ The bathroom was as good a place as any to get some privacy. He made his way to one of the stalls and locked himself in and sat on the toilet. Panic attacks were nothing new to Dave. He had little ones nearly on a daily basis. This one though left him a bit shaken and he didn’t understand why.. He figured he could ride first period out in the bathroom and no one would notice.
Kurt walked to his break period a bit early.. he didn´t feel completely up to it so he left math early. He went to the bathroom to splash some water in his face. He sighed heavily and brushed the hair out of his eyes. He looked into the mirror. “Kurt Hummel.. you´ve got to get yourself together now.. It was just a bad, bad dream...” The hallways were still quiet.
Dave heard footsteps in the bathroom. He kept quiet while he listened to the other boy speak. Dave took a deep breath and sighed. ‘What the hell’ he thought to himself. “You have a bad one too?” Dave asked still in the stall. He hoped Kurt had heard him.
Kurt jumped two feet into the air. “Who is it?!” he was obviously on guard. He looked towards the stalls and took a few steps back, towards the door.
“It’s Dave uh... I mean Karofsky.” Dave slowly opened the door. “Are we alone?” Sounding more like a little kid than he rightly should have.
Kurt’s brows furrowed. “Yes..” he tried to keep calm and rational.. he was close enough to the door that he could flee if this got out of hand. “Why? If you throw a pee balloon at me...!” threateningly
Dave raised his hands up quickly. “I won’t...I never did. uh...I threw mine around you but i didn’t hit you with them.” Dave knew that probably didn’t make Kurt feel better about the incident. He would if he knew what was really in the balloons.
“And I´m supposed to believe that?” Kurt looked at him skeptically.. but there was still something in his eyes. Hesitation of some kind.. he remembered how Dave had been his boyfriend in his weird dream.. and how terrified he was of losing him. He turned his gaze away. “What do you want?”
“It’s true...I’ve never slushied you either. I’ve slushie Hudson, he deserved it, and some of the others...” Dave ran his fingers threw his hair. “..But I haven’t slushied you. That’s gotta count for a modicom of trust doesn’t it?”
“Why do you WANT my trust?” Kurt looked up into his eyes. He was tense and a slight bit confused.
“It’s just after yesterday...” Dave searched for the right words. “I’m scared. That blackout shook be to my core and I’m not sure how to process it.”
Kurt stood still for a moment. “...you remember it too? I thought it was a dream..” he shuddered at the thought and felt all cold inside. “..it was strange.. nobody knows what caused it..
“My dad thinks it was the government playing with the HAARP weapon. He’s a conspiracy nut. that show that has Jesse Ventura said that it could be used to control people’s minds. A website he goes to says they think it malfunctioned.” Dave shrugged. “It’s as good a theory as any out there eventho.... I’m sorry I tend to babble when I’m nervous.”
Kurt stares at him. “...you´re kidding.” he was feeling a bit insecure again. “...you make it sound like your dad is the hero of some sci-fi show..”
“Nah…he just watches waaay too much TV. I’m a second generation Whovian, and proud of it. But that other show, some of that conspiracy theory stuff, is insane.” Dave started to feel relaxed. “Personally, I think they’re nuts with the HAARP weapon theory’ I’m mean yeah interesting theory but no solid proof. I like to think that it makes earthquakes and controls the weather. I mean it stand for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. So they are doing something to the Aurora Borealis using radio waves. Worst case scenario, we flip the magnetic poles but not a massive human blackout.” Dave thought he might be boring Kurt. “Oh lord I did it again with the babbling…seriously just tell me to shut up.”
Kurt tried following him in what he was saying but it was... hard. “Why do you spend your time learning stuff like that when you could learn to become a decent human being?” He still didn´t trust Dave.. he stood here in front of who he perceived to be one of the people who had made his life a living hell was tough. But still, the bullying hadn´t been so bad yet that he didn´t stay. The blackout had made a difference.
Dave’s face fell. “You’re right Kurt. I’m an ass, but I have to be, out there, or they’ll eat me alive.” Dave ran his fingers through his hair again out of frustration. “Do you remember what it was like for me in fifth and sixth grade? I was the butt of a lot jokes for those years. I had to learn to toughen up and strike first and show them that I could be a guy that they shouldn’t mess with. It’s what you have to do to survive here.” Dave leaned back against the stall door. “Do you even know what it’s like to be afraid that they’ll know you aren’t like them?” ‘Shit’ Dave thought. ‘I may have said too much.’
Kurt listened to him and his eyes softened up as Dave went on. He listened quietly untill the end, but that was when Kurt got a bit on the defensive side again. “If I know what it´s like!? You bet!” he almost yelled. “But I can´t hide the way you do! I could never harm someone to blend in the way you do!” he wasn´t officially out of the closet yet. He knew many had already figured out his secret. The bullying was proof enough of that. But still, he feared that if he came out, even to his friends, the bullying would get even worse. And what would his dad say? He was terrified.
Dave flinched at Kurt’s words. “I haven’t harmed anyone?” Dave had a look of confusing. “Yeah I’ve slushied and shoulder checked people and maybe thrown around some name calling...but so has your precious Finn up until recently.” Dave almost spit that last part out like venom.
“Don´t say a WORD about Finn!” Kurt pointed threateningly up at Dave. He was very tense.. He took a step closer to him. “Finn has been one of the few people who stood up to you and your little Neanderthal friends!”
“Oh yeah...It’s real easy to stand up to people you’ve always looked down on.” tears were welling up in Dave’s eyes. “All of sudden he’s nice to you for a second and you become one of his lap dogs.” Dave was getting angrier. “I know my balloons missed. Can you say the same for his?”
Kurt was shocked. Was Dave CRYING?! “... N, no but...” he stuttered. He was staring at him wide eyed. He fell silent. It was as if his voice disappeared and he had no idea what to make of himself. He was so.. confused. Was Dave telling the truth? Couldn´t really doubt it anymore..
Dave turned away from Kurt to wipes his eyes. “It’s a stupid argument anyway...The pee balloon thing. It wasn’t even freaking pee.” Dave turn back to Kurt. “Why do even think I was there in the first place with Hudson and the football team. It was so I could be the one to fill them up. They all thought it was piss but It was a one part solution of mountain dew ,one part warm water and the a cup of ammonia for smell.” Dave stood a little taller. “And that is the wonders of science gone wrong..or right if you are the victim.” He looked at Kurt to see if what he was saying was being heard or falling on deaf ears.
Kurt blinked a couple of times.. Dave knew a thing or two about science. Who would ever have thought that? “... I don´t know if I can trust you, Karofsky..” he said, slowly. “This could all just be something you´re making up.. or part of some plan to make me believe you so you can lure me into a trap..” his voice was quiet to make sure only Dave heard it. He was very serious. “.. but.. if this is not just something you´ve learned from a tv-show or something.. I think it´s such a waste of intelligence that you use your it to make pee balloons..” he wasn´t smiling yet. He didn´t know what to believe. He picked up his bag.
“How is it a waste? I get straight As in my math, history. and science classes...Hell I don’t even have to go to my math class I gave the teacher the answers every problem in the book second week here. He gives me problems from other books to do in my free time. As long as I show up on test day he’s cool with it. I may even get to skip some of my math classes and go straight to the higher levels.” Dave was babbling again. “Now English and foreign languages those can suck it. And you defend people who think I can leave for ten minutes and come back with a gallons worth of piss in neatly tied balloon. I ask you which seems to be more of a waste?”
Kurt listened to what Dave had to say and sighed once. “That´s all very impressive David.. if not a bit of an insult to my best subjects..” French having been one of them. “But that was not my point. My point is.. if you have such a gifted brain, it´s a waste using your talents to do mean things to people.. or help the mean people, if you really didn´t want to harm me.” he felt a bit better now.. relieved, in a way. There was a chance he had an ally in the enemy’s camp.“Look I love hockey and baseball... and what do you think the other players on the teams would be like if I didn’t go along with them? Do you know how much shit I went thru just to convince them that it was against my religion to grow a mullet?” Dave cringed at the thought of that hair style. “All I’m saying is that I have a part to play out there and as far as I can tell I’m doing a HELL of a job keeping them off my back.” Dave points to the wall as the says them as if a group of people are standing there.
Kurt cringed with him at the thought of that most unfashionable hairstyle. He looked behind him at the wall for a moment. Then back at Dave. “Then it´s a question of priority... you have every right to have your own point of view.. just don´t expect me to agree with it.” he turned to the door and opened it.
“Wait? You’re leaving?...”Dave’s voice again sounded like a scared little boy. “But I thought...” Seriously, what had Dave thought? “...we were talking about stuff and...” Dave stepped closer to Kurt. “...could you just not hate me for what I do or may say?” Dave was pleading with his eyes. “I don’t mean it.”
Kurt stopped. He had his hand resting on the doorknob. “.. I will think about it.” he answered. “But the things you say hurt, David.” he looked up at him. “I don´t know what you expect from all of this.. Or why you suddenly want to talk to me and want me to understand you... Is it the blackout..?”
“Kinda...” Dave paused for a moment.”But I’ve wanted to tell you forever that I’m not like them.” He retreated into his mind’s eye think of the blackout. “It was like a twisted version of what I most desired...”Kurt being his boyfriend.”...and what I feared the most. “ People finding out he was gay. “I just knew that if I never told you at least some of the truth I would regret it.” Again tears came up to the surface of his eyes.
Kurt thought about his own blackout for a moment. “mine was just.. strange. It was things I had never thought of before.. I have no idea where my subconscious got it from..” he was still convinced it was a dream.. A very lifelike dream. “Some of the truth..? Why don´t you tell me the rest?”
“I can’t...” Dave turned away from Kurt. “I’ve only ever told one person.” Tears started to fall. “My mom had been real sick the past few years...and I prayed everyday that she would get better.” Dave walked to the sink and grabbed it’s edges. “I told god if she got better I’d tell someone what was wrong with me.”Dave swallowed hard. “So I could get help....My mom got better..It looked like a full recovery. So I told her my secret and she said she already knew. I was so happy it was the best night’s sleep I had had in a long time. The next morning I was going to tell my dad but when he woke me up that morning he told me my mom had...” Dave dropped to his knees unable to control the flow of tears.
Kurt got a strange, strange feeling inside.. He almost felt sick. What Dave told him reminded him of his own mother... And.. it sounded like Dave’s secret was the same as his own.. he was convinced that was impossible, but.. it still brought tears to his eyes. He slowly walked the few steps from his spot by the door to Dave. He slowly sat down behind him and placed both of his hands on Dave’s shoulders. His head dropped to rest against Dave’s back. “... My mom died too..” he whispered, his voice shaky.
“I know...I remember when she died. You looked so sad after.” Dave was still shaking. “I don’t think you’ve looked truly happy since.” Dave tried to steady his breathing. “Lord, I sound like such a creeper.”
Kurt listened to Dave’s voice. He felt so warm.. it was nice. “..You noticed?” he whispered. “I don´t even remember knowing you back then..” he admitted. He stroke Dave’s shoulders a bit to calm him down.
“You really didn’t. I was too scared to get close to you.” Dave sat up straight and turned around to face Kurt. “I don’t think we’ve hung since kindergarten.”Dave grabbed Kurt’s hand. “Then first and second grade weren’t in the same classes. So I guess you forgot about me. But I could never forget you.” Dave realized he was holding Kurt’s hand and suddenly dropped it. “Sorry... I uh didn’t mean to.”
Kurt´s gaze was very distant.. he tried to remember Dave.. Now that he really thought back, he did have a couple of memories for a curly haired boy with chubby cheeks.. “I think I remember you..” He mumbled. He was surprised himself. He looked up at him. “If we had been friends.. why were you scared to talk to me?” he quickly looked down at their hands as he felt Dave let go. He hadn´t even noticed it himself. “It´s.. alright, I guess..”
“Before I tell you don’t get mad at me or you can but, let me finish what I say before you storm out or slap me or whatever.” Dave just spat that out rather quickly.
Kurt had to think that over for a moment. “Alright...” he said, positioning himself more comfortable on the cold tile floor. “I´m ready.” his brows were furrowed.
“I was scared of you because the other kids were calling you ‘gay’ or ‘fag’ and other names that meant you were different from them.” Dave fidgeted back and forth. “I learned at an early age from my uncle what those words meant and what ‘normal’ people say about them.” Dave steadied himself for what he was about to say. “If I became friends with you then...” He paused a bit longer and in a quick mumble. “TheywouldknowIwaslikeyou.”
“..Pardon?” Kurt didn´t hear the last part. He obviously didn´t want to hit Dave right now.. “I´m not gay!” He said it VERY quickly. It was a lie, but he didn´t want to come out.. not to one of his bullies, or.. former bullies, and not right now.. it might have helped if he had heard what Dave said.
“What?...You’re not?...But everyone says...” Dave was panic stricken. ‘I mean yeah it should be safe to come out to a gay kid but if he was wrong he just screwed himself royally. He jumped to his feet and started pacing the floor. “I didn’t say you were...” ‘Terrible back pedal there Dave’ was all he could think. “Just forget I said anything.”
Kurt was quiet for a moment... “Did you just come out to me..?” Kurt asked, insecurely.. he looked a bit skeptical right there.
“”I had to open the box.” Dave threw his hands in the air. “Couldn’t leave it closed. There it is quantum theory slapping me in the face. Don’t assume the cat’s going to be alive when there is a 50 percent chance that the cat’s .going to be dead.” Dave looked up to the sky. “Frack you, Schrodinger and your little cat too.” He looked back at Kurt. “I’m sorry I assumed you were gay.” Dave started walking toward the door. “Just please don’t tell anyone. They’ll kill me out there.”
Kurt followed him.. He didn´t know what to make of it. “...I would´ve never thought you were...” he mumbled. He looked up at the back of Dave’s head. He quickly looked to either side in the empty hallway. The break was long over. “I have French now...” he looked up at him. “I promise not to tell anyone.” He figured it was for the best to keep his own secret.. at least for now.
“Kurt..I still have to be an ass. Just remember if I’m with the other assholes. Whatever I say to you... It’s not directed at you it’s directed at myself.” He looked up at Kurt one more time. “I can’t let them know....ever.” Dave turned the opposite direction Kurt was going and slowly walked away.
Kurt let him go. He turned and walked to his own class. This was his last period that day. He walked out towards the parking lot afterwards. He knew his dad was coming to pick him up.
After Hiding out in the library for the rest of the school day Dave made his way to the parking lot.
He noticed Kurt Standing outside waiting. He was about to turn and go toward his truck when he saw three letterman jackets walking toward Kurt. “Shit this isn’t going to end well.” Dave mumbled to himself. Dave stood back to see what was about to happen.
Kurt didn´t see neither Dave nor the jocks untill it was too late. One of the football players shoved him roughly out unto the street. Kurt gasped and fell hard to the ground. He only just saved his face from hitting the ground with a few inches to spare. A car that was coming their way almost hit him but luckily got the car to pull to the other side of the road in the last second. It didn´t stop, though, but moved on immediately. The driver yelled some insult out the window at them.
Dave ran up to the jocks. He was going to just try and watch from a distance just incase it escalated into something worse but too late. “What The Hell, dudes? Are you trying to go to
jail?”
The jock laughed. “What is it to you, Karofsky?
“Nothing...I just thought since you new Quarterback being in Homo Explosion and that other fairy you got on your team I figured you fags didn’t hit each other.” Dave puffed up trying to seem bigger than what he already was. ‘Hey it works for other species why not humans.’ he thought.. He may have been a freshman but he was still bigger than most of the members of the team.
“What the hell did that little puck head just say to us?” The three football jocks took their focus from Kurt and were looking at Dave. ‘Please Kurt just get out of here This would be an awesome time for my telepathy to kick in...Damn I read way to many comic books’ Dave prepared himself for the attack.
Kurt quickly got up and jumped of the road as another car came towards him. He looked back at Dave. Adrenalin was burning in his veins. He wanted to do something.. at least something, since he knew this could end very badly.. Dave was big, but probably not big enough to take on all those guys. “Karofsky..!” his voice was shaky. He decided to try some acting and.. pretended to faint. He pretended to slowly lose consciousness and fell to the ground with a weak sigh. The small bruise on his forehead might be enough to help him.
The jocks scattered think they were going to get in trouble for this. Dave ran to Kurt’s side. “Hummel? are you alright dude?” Dave gently put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and gave it a small shake.
Kurt didn´t move or react at all. He breathed slowly in and out through his lips which were halfway parted.. He opened one eye a bit.. then closed it again. He wanted to make sure the jocks were gone.
“I saw that you faker.” A smile was definitely in Dave’s voice. “I ought to leave you here on the ground and let the next car run you down.” Dave grabbed Kurt’s arm “Get up before someone sees us or calls an ambulance.” Dave slightly tugged on Kurt’s arm.
Kurt grinned at Dave. “Pretty impressing performance, if I must say so myself.” he sent him a sly smile before he got up and brushed the dirt of his clothes. He got off the road. He glanced wearily around. “.. did they just run away..?”
“I think they thought something was seriously wrong we you fell and now matter what any of them say when stuff gets real we are all a bunch of kids...and yes it was an excellent performance.” Dave winked at him. “I could have handled them...” He lied. “But thanks for the back-up.”
“Oh I´m sure you could.” Kurt answered, obviously faking admiration. He blinked at him flirtatiously.. just to tease him. He laughed. “You might be a big guy, but I doubt you could take a bunch of gorillas on by yourself, fist to fist. Sometimes a bit of sneakiness is needed.. and I thought that was the right time to pay you back for trying to save me.” he walked with him. “I need both acting- and singing skills if I´m to make it at Broadway!”
“I could totally see you doing that one day. You have a great voice....uh I mean..I’ve heard you a couple times as I uh.. w-walked past the choir room sometimes the auditorium but umm.. I w-wasn’t looking to sneak around or anything please don’t think I would.” Dave stumbled the works out as he fidgeted with his jacket.
.Kurt looked up at Dave He smiled at his shy stuttering. “Thank you, David.” he answered. It was ok.. His cheeks flushing a bit at the attention he was receiving from his former bully, now savior. “Have you thought about joining glee club? We need new members.. I know you´re trying to stay on your hockey buddies´ good side, but then you wouldn´t have to bully anybody and you wouldn´t be alone..”
Dave saw the slight blush on Kurt’s face. ‘Knew it’ He thought to himself. “I’ll think about it Kurt. Lord knows if Finn can do it anyone can. Maybe show him he’s not so special” Dave put his hands in his jacket pockets. “I won’t keep you waiting too long for my answer but I need to weigh the pros and cons, You know make a chart and crunch the numbers.” Dave just stared at Kurt. “You must think I’m an absolute dork.” He shook his head at himself.
Kurt’s smile grew smaller at his insult directed at Finn. But he didn´t say anything, as he knew Dave hated the guys guts after what he had done to him.. it was still hard for Kurt to believe. “I´ll wait for your answer... you can have my number if you promise that it won´t get out to any of your dear gorilla friends.” he could see Burt’s car approaching them.
Dave pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’d lov-like to have have your number a lot.” Dave blushed slightly at his flub. “And I promise no gorillas will get your number, Magilla and King Kong be damned.” Dave laughed at his own joke.
Kurt laughed at his joke as well. Just a little bit. He stopped as Burt’s car pulled over. He quickly gave Dave his number. Burt rolled down the window. “Is that kid bothering you, Kurt?” he asked, protectively. Kurt looked back at Burt. “No dad, it´s alright.. this is Dave. We were friends when we were younger.”
Dave reached his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you again, Mr. Hummel. My name’s Dave Karofsky.”