Acception [1/3]
Title: Acception [1/3]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: MinSang
Warning: BoyxBoy Love. Enough said.
Summary: It isn’t distance that separates a relationship. It is silence.
Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
--Paul Coelho
“You’re going to marry the heir of Song Corporation when you turn nineteen.”
Yeosang was seventeen years old when the news was delivered to him.
The black-haired boy looked up at his father questioningly, wondering if he had heard it right.
Marriage?
His father gave him a comforting smile and a gentle pat on his hair. Before he managed to respond anything, the room was filled with his brother’s roaring voice.
“Appa, are you serious? Marriage?”
Yeosang flinched at how surprisingly loud Seonghwa was. He turned to look at his older brother, disagreement was all over his face.
“Yes, marriage. Is there any problem, Seonghwa?”
“But-but what were you thinking, Appa? Yeosang cannot even speak!”
“He stutters. It’s different.”
“There isn’t a difference if he doesn’t want to let out a voice,” Seonghwa glanced at Yeosang, who avoided his eyes right away. “I can’t believe you’re willing to give your own son to an arranged marriage. And what’s up with the…two years? Why not make it…ten years or something?”
“It’s an arranged marriage, Seonghwa. It’s not like I’m selling him to be a slave. And since Yeosang is only fifteen, I thought it would be good to have much spare time before the wedding.”
“Arranged marriage is basically like a-a contract to be a slave!”
“Then would you do it instead for your brother, Seonghwa?”
Seonghwa abruptly fell silent. He gazed at their father in disbelief. “I am against it, Appa. And I… I don’t like those guys. I wouldn’t want Yeosang to be a part of them.”
“It’s your choice if you don’t want to have a work relationship with them. I’m leaving the company in your hands, and I trust that you’d make good decisions. I’ve always believed in you and your strength. But for Yeosang…”
His father’s eyes softened when he looked at his youngest son.
“Yeosang can just be the bride.”
“I-I can take care of him, Appa. Please, I can take care of him.”
“I understand your intention, Seonghwa, but it’s not the way it’s going to be. This,” their father put his hand up to prevent Seonghwa from continuing. “Is the end of the argument. It’s been decided, and it’s final. In the meantime, Yeosang can practice his speaking so that he stops stuttering. Surely two years would be enough, no?”
Yeosang couldn’t bring himself to respond.
“And it will also be enough time for the heir to prepare himself to be a decent husband for Yeosang.”
Seonghwa let out a frustrated growl at the fact that his father wouldn’t budge, no matter what he said. He exited the room and slammed the door loudly in the process, causing Yeosang to wince.
What do I do…?
Him? Marrying the heir of Song Corporation? Wouldn’t it just make the other family embarrassed of him?
“Yeosang.”
Yeosang snapped out of his thoughts at his father’s voice.
“Don’t listen to your brother. You’re going to be just fine. The heir of the Song Corporation is a good man. He will take good care of you, Yeosang. No one is allowed to hurt my precious son.”
Yeosang’s doubts were visible, but then he chose to nod.
“You’re going to be happy, Yeosang. I promise.”
***
It wasn’t that Yeosang couldn’t talk.
He just chose not to talk.
Yeosang was twelve-years-old when the incident happened.
He had always been a quiet, introverted person. He just liked having the moments to himself. Yeosang liked to read and doodle on his books whenever he wasn’t studying. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to make friends, but the people around him just looked so fake that he didn’t want to establish any relationship.
Yeosang survived the first few years of his elementary school peacefully.
Unfortunately, on the last year of school, he became the target of bullying.
The male didn’t even know why he became a target.
Was it his financial? His family had the same amount of money with every other student in the school. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to enroll in the prestigious school. Was it his attitude? Even though he was a loner, he never bothered anyone. He was a polite student, too. He never even talked back to a teacher. Was it because he didn’t have a mother anymore? She died a long time ago, when Yeosang was still so little. But there were a lot of other students with single parent, too.
The black-haired male endured the bullying every day, not understanding why it happened.
One day, the student who had been leading the bullying told him that his face was actually the problem. He said he didn’t look Korean. That, and the ugly birthmark on his face. He told him he didn’t belong there, that he should just go back to where he came from.
Rather than telling it to a teacher or his father, Yeosang decided to just keep it to himself. All the bullying were just words, anyway. He didn’t really care about not looking Korean. He was Korean, duh.
It started getting physical when the bully had had enough of him for never responding.
His table was kicked and he was pushed off his chair. His books were slammed onto the floor, followed by an opened water bottle splashing on him.
What made it worse, was that they laughed at him.
All of a sudden, Yeosang started feeling desperate, wondering why he was treated this way, just because his face was a bit different. He didn’t really want to, but he was sick so of it, that he burst out crying.
The next thing he knew, a loud fight broke in class, because apparently someone had just punched the bully. It all happened so fast that Yeosang didn’t really understand what went on, just the fact that he got called into the teacher’s lounge, and they told him to wait there, that his father was going to pick him up.
Even though he did nothing wrong, he could hear the teachers talked behind him in hushed voices, saying something about he deserved it, that he was so arrogant for being so good-looking, that the bully was hurt because of him, and so on.
None of it was the truth. But who would believe a loner?
Yeosang covered his ears with his hands, but they didn’t really help.
It traumatized him so much that he kind of stopped talking.
He locked himself in his room most of the time, refusing to go to school.
His father had him homeschooled since then. A tutor would come by every day with different subjects. They all made the efforts to be his friends, urging him to speak more.
Yeosang understood that they were all just being nice, but he found himself struggling with words. He was afraid of saying something, afraid of being misunderstood. He rarely said anything in school and people already misunderstood him. Though he managed to catch up with all the lessons, his communication skills worsened, resulting in miscommunication.
That he was so full of himself that he didn’t need any tutor.
They all stopped coming over.
Yeosang resorted to online courses. He felt like it was the best solution for him. He didn’t need to meet anyone physically and he could still study. He spent his days in front of his computer and only went out of his room to eat. Since his father and Seonghwa were never really around, he preferred to be in his room most of the time.
When his family finally noticed Yeosang never really spoke anymore, it was already too late.
Seonghwa, two years older than him, being the one to be groomed into taking over the company, had been sent into a boarding school at the time. They rarely met, and even when Seonghwa came home from school breaks, they never really talked.
Their house was big, but it was always empty.
Yeosang was lonely.
He was so lonely.
***
Since Seonghwa became the one in charge of the company, his father started spending a lot of time with Yeosang.
He seemed to be very determined about getting rid of Yeosang’s stuttering.
Yeosang was taken to an expert once by his father. After examining him, she came to a conclusion that practicing to speak seemed to be the only solution, because the root of the problem was Yeosang himself was too scared to talk, which resulted in stuttering.
It was awkward at first for them to have a lot of conversations-his father would talk and he would write his answers in a book-with his father being absent from his life for so long. Yeosang knew he was supposed to talk, but something within him still prevented him from doing so. If he wanted to get better at talking, it was only because he wanted to, and not because he had to do it in order to make the wedding work.
But Yeosang was happy with his father’s presence. He felt loved. The way his father spoke to him was sincere, without judging, unlike those strangers. His father was different from those tutors. His father was family, and it was what family members did-they supported each other.
The crumpled bond between him and his father slowly began to smooth out.
Unfortunately, just a few months before Yeosang’s eighteenth birthday, his father passed away.
He just went to sleep the night before and never woke up again, just like that.
It was like his world was shattering to pieces.
Seonghwa had just turned twenty when it happened. It had only been a year since he had taken over the company. But still, he was so young-they both were so young. Their father’s death hit them hard, but even if it was, Seonghwa never showed that he was shaken by it.
Yeosang didn’t know how he did it, maybe it was the strength of the oldest son.
Their father’s expression was serene, like he was only sleeping and not already leaving this world.
Seonghwa looked like he was about to cry, but he never shed a tear. Beside him, Yeosang was a crying mess, as they waited for the cremation to start.
It was as if time had stopped moving, because everything went by painfully slow.
Yeosang, anxious about the amount of people coming and going to the funeral home, kept himself isolated in a room the whole time, leaving Seonghwa to take care of everything. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, he knew he should be there with Seonghwa when people came to pay respects to their father, but Yeosang really couldn’t bring himself to go.
It had always been just the three of them since he was little, so he didn’t really know if he had any aunties or uncles, or even cousins. It looked like his mother cut ties from her family when she decided to take his father’s proposal. His grandparents from his father were deceased, and he was the only child.
It was probably around midnight when Seonghwa called out his name. “Yeosang. It’s all done.”
Yeosang was sitting on the floor with his back against a wall, his eyes half lidded. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as he nodded. His older brother looked exhausted.
“Come on. Let’s go home.”
Yeosang made sure none of his things were left behind and followed Seonghwa. Upon heading for the exit, he passed by their father’s funeral picture. Yeosang could feel emotions overflowing within him as he bowed deeply for the last time. Seonghwa waited patiently by the door.
Thank you, Appa.
Yeosang finally caught up with his brother. They were walking to the car when Seonghwa said,
“You haven’t eaten anything. What would you like?”
Yeosang wasn’t really hungry. He merely shook his head, as if to say anything was fine. They got into the car and Seonghwa started the engine.
“Yeosang,” Seonghwa looked drained as he rested his forehead against the wheel. “Can you tell me what you’d like to eat?”
Yeosang turned to look at him, to mouth anything, Hyung, but Seonghwa wasn’t looking at him.
“Why won’t you talk to me…Yeosang? I’m your brother…right?”
It was then Seonghwa seemed to have lost his ability to be strong, because the next minute, he broke into tears. Yeosang was stunned. Seonghwa’s shoulders were shaking so much from sadness that Yeosang almost didn’t know what to do other than to reach out to his brother, leaning his head against Seonghwa’s arm.
“Why didn’t Appa trust me to take care of you?” Seonghwa sobbed between his tears. “Why did he have to go and hand you to someone else? Why…”
Yeosang could only listen to Seonghwa and his endless whys. His tears too, started falling when he realized Seonghwa was actually as lonely as him. Yeosang knew it was his fault. Everyone was miserable because of him.
I’m sorry, Yeosang whispered over and over, hoping it would reach Seonghwa. I’m sorry, Hyung.
***
It didn’t take a long of time for Seonghwa to throw himself back into work.
A part of Yeosang felt sorry for his brother because at his age, Seonghwa could’ve been so much better. He could be enjoying his youth-traveling the world, eat fancy foods, or even date someone. Yeosang also noticed that it had been a while since Seonghwa smiled-which was a shame, because he had always thought his brother’s smile was the prettiest.
Yeosang couldn’t bring himself to tell Seonghwa that he actually needed him now, more than ever. He wanted them to be close, to be able to tell each other things that only a sibling would know. But because Yeosang couldn’t start it, Seonghwa didn’t force him to talk, too.
Their relationship never progressed.
Days turned to months, and months turned to year.
Before he knew it, June had finally arrived.
Yeosang finally had to face the moment he had been dreading for.
But now that he thought about it, he never even met his husband-to-be. Was it supposed to be that way? Was there an agreement between his parents that they couldn’t meet before the wedding? Did he even know what Yeosang looked like?
Yeosang didn’t even know who his husband’s name was.
He wanted to ask Seonghwa, but the Song family seemed to be a sensitive topic after their father died. He just…would accept anything that was going to happen. It was easier that way.
Yeosang was staring out the window when he heard Seonghwa knocking on his door. It was only a few minutes to midnight, he noticed, as he glanced at the clock. Yeosang patted the empty space beside him, a small smile gracing his lips, allowing his brother to occupy it.
“It’s going to be your birthday soon.”
Yeosang took a deep breath before nodding.
“How are you feeling?”
Yeosang took Seonghwa’s hand in his. Terrified, he slowly wrote with his index on Seonghwa’s palm. Maybe.
“Of your wedding night?” Seonghwa asked and immediately received a glare from Yeosang. “Just kick his groin. He’ll stay away.”
Yeosang snorted into a laugh and Seonghwa, too, chuckled softly.
“But, you know…” Seonghwa grimaced. “All this time, you could’ve said no to the marriage. You just seem to…accept things easily. I know I’m at fault too, for not really trying to connect with you. You’re so strong, Yeosangie. If I were you, I’d probably be halfway around the world by now, running away.”
Yeosang genuinely smiled.
Yes, it had occurred to him that he could’ve said no to the marriage. But it just didn’t feel right. He knew how much trouble he had caused his father with everything that happened, and that his father meant well with the marriage. Yeosang also understood Seonghwa’s intention about taking care of himself, but what if one day, his brother found someone to love, and that person found Yeosang burdening?
He didn’t want to get in the way of Seonghwa’s happiness.
“Also… I know it’s probably too late for me to say this, but if you really don’t want to get married, I can try and talk to them.”
It took Yeosang a while to shake his head. I’ll be fine, he mouthed. The marriage was their father’s wish, after all.
Seonghwa noticed that it was already past midnight. He then disappeared into the kitchen, only to return with a small, beautiful round cake. “Happy birthday, Park Yeosang!”
Yeosang’s face brightened when he read Happy Birthday, Baby Brother on the cake.
Seonghwa put on a single candle on the surface and told him to make a wish. Yeosang didn’t really make a wish, but he blew the candle anyway. Their mouths were already full with the cake, when Seonghwa realized he forgot to sing the birthday song.
It was already too late now that the cake had been violated to pieces.
They slept side by side that night in Seonghwa’s room, but Yeosang couldn’t really sleep. His thoughts kept coming back to the big event the following morning. He thought Seonghwa had fallen asleep, but it turned out he hadn’t, because the latter suddenly turned to him.
“What if you don’t like him, Yeosang?”
Yeosang shrugged. It was one of his fears too, of course.
“Have you even wondered what he looks like? What if he’s bald? What if he’s shorter than you? What if he doesn’t work out, and his stomach is bulging so big like it’s about to burst?”
Now Seonghwa certainly just want to annoy him.
“I’m serious,” Seonghwa said, but his eyes said otherwise. “I’ve seen him once, you know.”
Yeosang gasped in horror.
Seonghwa held back his laughter as he pulled his brother into a hug. “Yes, I’ve seen him. Not my type, though. But he certainly looks compatible with you. Do you even know his name? Never mind, you’ll meet him later today. Come on, go to sleep, or else we’ll be late in the morning.”
Yeosang poked his brother’s side playfully before deciding he really should go to sleep. After a few times tossing and turning, Yeosang was finally close to a deep slumber when he heard Seonghwa muttering,
“I sincerely hope you’ll be happy, Yeosangie.”
***
Yeosang was dressed in a black suit and a bowtie.
Seonghwa said the wedding was just going to be a simple ceremony, that there wouldn’t be any reception. He was just going to take Yeosang to the said place, and it was as far as he could go.
The whole trip was filled with silence. Yeosang was so nervous that he couldn’t feel his hands, it was as if they were frozen.
Seonghwa hugged him for a long, long time before pulling away and placed a kiss on his forehead. Promise me you’ll be happy, were his last words before letting go of Yeosang’s hand.
Yeosang shut his eyes. He didn’t have the heart to see his brother leaving-he really was going to be left alone. Yeosang was close to freaking out when he felt someone grabbing his hand. For a second, he thought it was Seonghwa, planning to take him back, but it was someone else. Someone he had never seen before.
“Hi,” the person greeted with a warm smile. “You’re finally here.”
Yeosang had to lift his chin slightly to take a look at the other person. The male was extremely tall compared to him. He was also dressed in a suit, and the way he styled his wavy hair suit him. If he was a sculpture, the sculptor must’ve spent thousands of hours creating him because every shape in his face was perfection. The male was, in a word…
…breathtaking.
Yeosang couldn’t seem to show any reaction, his brain didn’t function properly that day.
“You don’t speak, I know,” the male patted Yeosang’s hair gently. “It’s all right.”
Yeosang’s cheeks reddened, but somehow it dissipated his insecurities. Their significant height difference made Yeosang feel small. He must’ve been staring too long when the taller male squeezed his hand-turned out they were still holding hands.
“Let’s go, it’s about to begin,” he pointed at the building behind him. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to see my face a lot after the ceremony. Oh, by the way, my name is Song Mingi.”
Mingi brought Yeosang’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back of his hand.
“And I’m your husband, starting from this very moment.”
[2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: MinSang
Warning: BoyxBoy Love. Enough said.
Summary: It isn’t distance that separates a relationship. It is silence.
Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
--Paul Coelho
“You’re going to marry the heir of Song Corporation when you turn nineteen.”
Yeosang was seventeen years old when the news was delivered to him.
The black-haired boy looked up at his father questioningly, wondering if he had heard it right.
Marriage?
His father gave him a comforting smile and a gentle pat on his hair. Before he managed to respond anything, the room was filled with his brother’s roaring voice.
“Appa, are you serious? Marriage?”
Yeosang flinched at how surprisingly loud Seonghwa was. He turned to look at his older brother, disagreement was all over his face.
“Yes, marriage. Is there any problem, Seonghwa?”
“But-but what were you thinking, Appa? Yeosang cannot even speak!”
“He stutters. It’s different.”
“There isn’t a difference if he doesn’t want to let out a voice,” Seonghwa glanced at Yeosang, who avoided his eyes right away. “I can’t believe you’re willing to give your own son to an arranged marriage. And what’s up with the…two years? Why not make it…ten years or something?”
“It’s an arranged marriage, Seonghwa. It’s not like I’m selling him to be a slave. And since Yeosang is only fifteen, I thought it would be good to have much spare time before the wedding.”
“Arranged marriage is basically like a-a contract to be a slave!”
“Then would you do it instead for your brother, Seonghwa?”
Seonghwa abruptly fell silent. He gazed at their father in disbelief. “I am against it, Appa. And I… I don’t like those guys. I wouldn’t want Yeosang to be a part of them.”
“It’s your choice if you don’t want to have a work relationship with them. I’m leaving the company in your hands, and I trust that you’d make good decisions. I’ve always believed in you and your strength. But for Yeosang…”
His father’s eyes softened when he looked at his youngest son.
“Yeosang can just be the bride.”
“I-I can take care of him, Appa. Please, I can take care of him.”
“I understand your intention, Seonghwa, but it’s not the way it’s going to be. This,” their father put his hand up to prevent Seonghwa from continuing. “Is the end of the argument. It’s been decided, and it’s final. In the meantime, Yeosang can practice his speaking so that he stops stuttering. Surely two years would be enough, no?”
Yeosang couldn’t bring himself to respond.
“And it will also be enough time for the heir to prepare himself to be a decent husband for Yeosang.”
Seonghwa let out a frustrated growl at the fact that his father wouldn’t budge, no matter what he said. He exited the room and slammed the door loudly in the process, causing Yeosang to wince.
What do I do…?
Him? Marrying the heir of Song Corporation? Wouldn’t it just make the other family embarrassed of him?
“Yeosang.”
Yeosang snapped out of his thoughts at his father’s voice.
“Don’t listen to your brother. You’re going to be just fine. The heir of the Song Corporation is a good man. He will take good care of you, Yeosang. No one is allowed to hurt my precious son.”
Yeosang’s doubts were visible, but then he chose to nod.
“You’re going to be happy, Yeosang. I promise.”
***
It wasn’t that Yeosang couldn’t talk.
He just chose not to talk.
Yeosang was twelve-years-old when the incident happened.
He had always been a quiet, introverted person. He just liked having the moments to himself. Yeosang liked to read and doodle on his books whenever he wasn’t studying. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to make friends, but the people around him just looked so fake that he didn’t want to establish any relationship.
Yeosang survived the first few years of his elementary school peacefully.
Unfortunately, on the last year of school, he became the target of bullying.
The male didn’t even know why he became a target.
Was it his financial? His family had the same amount of money with every other student in the school. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to enroll in the prestigious school. Was it his attitude? Even though he was a loner, he never bothered anyone. He was a polite student, too. He never even talked back to a teacher. Was it because he didn’t have a mother anymore? She died a long time ago, when Yeosang was still so little. But there were a lot of other students with single parent, too.
The black-haired male endured the bullying every day, not understanding why it happened.
One day, the student who had been leading the bullying told him that his face was actually the problem. He said he didn’t look Korean. That, and the ugly birthmark on his face. He told him he didn’t belong there, that he should just go back to where he came from.
Rather than telling it to a teacher or his father, Yeosang decided to just keep it to himself. All the bullying were just words, anyway. He didn’t really care about not looking Korean. He was Korean, duh.
It started getting physical when the bully had had enough of him for never responding.
His table was kicked and he was pushed off his chair. His books were slammed onto the floor, followed by an opened water bottle splashing on him.
What made it worse, was that they laughed at him.
All of a sudden, Yeosang started feeling desperate, wondering why he was treated this way, just because his face was a bit different. He didn’t really want to, but he was sick so of it, that he burst out crying.
The next thing he knew, a loud fight broke in class, because apparently someone had just punched the bully. It all happened so fast that Yeosang didn’t really understand what went on, just the fact that he got called into the teacher’s lounge, and they told him to wait there, that his father was going to pick him up.
Even though he did nothing wrong, he could hear the teachers talked behind him in hushed voices, saying something about he deserved it, that he was so arrogant for being so good-looking, that the bully was hurt because of him, and so on.
None of it was the truth. But who would believe a loner?
Yeosang covered his ears with his hands, but they didn’t really help.
It traumatized him so much that he kind of stopped talking.
He locked himself in his room most of the time, refusing to go to school.
His father had him homeschooled since then. A tutor would come by every day with different subjects. They all made the efforts to be his friends, urging him to speak more.
Yeosang understood that they were all just being nice, but he found himself struggling with words. He was afraid of saying something, afraid of being misunderstood. He rarely said anything in school and people already misunderstood him. Though he managed to catch up with all the lessons, his communication skills worsened, resulting in miscommunication.
That he was so full of himself that he didn’t need any tutor.
They all stopped coming over.
Yeosang resorted to online courses. He felt like it was the best solution for him. He didn’t need to meet anyone physically and he could still study. He spent his days in front of his computer and only went out of his room to eat. Since his father and Seonghwa were never really around, he preferred to be in his room most of the time.
When his family finally noticed Yeosang never really spoke anymore, it was already too late.
Seonghwa, two years older than him, being the one to be groomed into taking over the company, had been sent into a boarding school at the time. They rarely met, and even when Seonghwa came home from school breaks, they never really talked.
Their house was big, but it was always empty.
Yeosang was lonely.
He was so lonely.
***
Since Seonghwa became the one in charge of the company, his father started spending a lot of time with Yeosang.
He seemed to be very determined about getting rid of Yeosang’s stuttering.
Yeosang was taken to an expert once by his father. After examining him, she came to a conclusion that practicing to speak seemed to be the only solution, because the root of the problem was Yeosang himself was too scared to talk, which resulted in stuttering.
It was awkward at first for them to have a lot of conversations-his father would talk and he would write his answers in a book-with his father being absent from his life for so long. Yeosang knew he was supposed to talk, but something within him still prevented him from doing so. If he wanted to get better at talking, it was only because he wanted to, and not because he had to do it in order to make the wedding work.
But Yeosang was happy with his father’s presence. He felt loved. The way his father spoke to him was sincere, without judging, unlike those strangers. His father was different from those tutors. His father was family, and it was what family members did-they supported each other.
The crumpled bond between him and his father slowly began to smooth out.
Unfortunately, just a few months before Yeosang’s eighteenth birthday, his father passed away.
He just went to sleep the night before and never woke up again, just like that.
It was like his world was shattering to pieces.
Seonghwa had just turned twenty when it happened. It had only been a year since he had taken over the company. But still, he was so young-they both were so young. Their father’s death hit them hard, but even if it was, Seonghwa never showed that he was shaken by it.
Yeosang didn’t know how he did it, maybe it was the strength of the oldest son.
Their father’s expression was serene, like he was only sleeping and not already leaving this world.
Seonghwa looked like he was about to cry, but he never shed a tear. Beside him, Yeosang was a crying mess, as they waited for the cremation to start.
It was as if time had stopped moving, because everything went by painfully slow.
Yeosang, anxious about the amount of people coming and going to the funeral home, kept himself isolated in a room the whole time, leaving Seonghwa to take care of everything. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, he knew he should be there with Seonghwa when people came to pay respects to their father, but Yeosang really couldn’t bring himself to go.
It had always been just the three of them since he was little, so he didn’t really know if he had any aunties or uncles, or even cousins. It looked like his mother cut ties from her family when she decided to take his father’s proposal. His grandparents from his father were deceased, and he was the only child.
It was probably around midnight when Seonghwa called out his name. “Yeosang. It’s all done.”
Yeosang was sitting on the floor with his back against a wall, his eyes half lidded. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as he nodded. His older brother looked exhausted.
“Come on. Let’s go home.”
Yeosang made sure none of his things were left behind and followed Seonghwa. Upon heading for the exit, he passed by their father’s funeral picture. Yeosang could feel emotions overflowing within him as he bowed deeply for the last time. Seonghwa waited patiently by the door.
Thank you, Appa.
Yeosang finally caught up with his brother. They were walking to the car when Seonghwa said,
“You haven’t eaten anything. What would you like?”
Yeosang wasn’t really hungry. He merely shook his head, as if to say anything was fine. They got into the car and Seonghwa started the engine.
“Yeosang,” Seonghwa looked drained as he rested his forehead against the wheel. “Can you tell me what you’d like to eat?”
Yeosang turned to look at him, to mouth anything, Hyung, but Seonghwa wasn’t looking at him.
“Why won’t you talk to me…Yeosang? I’m your brother…right?”
It was then Seonghwa seemed to have lost his ability to be strong, because the next minute, he broke into tears. Yeosang was stunned. Seonghwa’s shoulders were shaking so much from sadness that Yeosang almost didn’t know what to do other than to reach out to his brother, leaning his head against Seonghwa’s arm.
“Why didn’t Appa trust me to take care of you?” Seonghwa sobbed between his tears. “Why did he have to go and hand you to someone else? Why…”
Yeosang could only listen to Seonghwa and his endless whys. His tears too, started falling when he realized Seonghwa was actually as lonely as him. Yeosang knew it was his fault. Everyone was miserable because of him.
I’m sorry, Yeosang whispered over and over, hoping it would reach Seonghwa. I’m sorry, Hyung.
***
It didn’t take a long of time for Seonghwa to throw himself back into work.
A part of Yeosang felt sorry for his brother because at his age, Seonghwa could’ve been so much better. He could be enjoying his youth-traveling the world, eat fancy foods, or even date someone. Yeosang also noticed that it had been a while since Seonghwa smiled-which was a shame, because he had always thought his brother’s smile was the prettiest.
Yeosang couldn’t bring himself to tell Seonghwa that he actually needed him now, more than ever. He wanted them to be close, to be able to tell each other things that only a sibling would know. But because Yeosang couldn’t start it, Seonghwa didn’t force him to talk, too.
Their relationship never progressed.
Days turned to months, and months turned to year.
Before he knew it, June had finally arrived.
Yeosang finally had to face the moment he had been dreading for.
But now that he thought about it, he never even met his husband-to-be. Was it supposed to be that way? Was there an agreement between his parents that they couldn’t meet before the wedding? Did he even know what Yeosang looked like?
Yeosang didn’t even know who his husband’s name was.
He wanted to ask Seonghwa, but the Song family seemed to be a sensitive topic after their father died. He just…would accept anything that was going to happen. It was easier that way.
Yeosang was staring out the window when he heard Seonghwa knocking on his door. It was only a few minutes to midnight, he noticed, as he glanced at the clock. Yeosang patted the empty space beside him, a small smile gracing his lips, allowing his brother to occupy it.
“It’s going to be your birthday soon.”
Yeosang took a deep breath before nodding.
“How are you feeling?”
Yeosang took Seonghwa’s hand in his. Terrified, he slowly wrote with his index on Seonghwa’s palm. Maybe.
“Of your wedding night?” Seonghwa asked and immediately received a glare from Yeosang. “Just kick his groin. He’ll stay away.”
Yeosang snorted into a laugh and Seonghwa, too, chuckled softly.
“But, you know…” Seonghwa grimaced. “All this time, you could’ve said no to the marriage. You just seem to…accept things easily. I know I’m at fault too, for not really trying to connect with you. You’re so strong, Yeosangie. If I were you, I’d probably be halfway around the world by now, running away.”
Yeosang genuinely smiled.
Yes, it had occurred to him that he could’ve said no to the marriage. But it just didn’t feel right. He knew how much trouble he had caused his father with everything that happened, and that his father meant well with the marriage. Yeosang also understood Seonghwa’s intention about taking care of himself, but what if one day, his brother found someone to love, and that person found Yeosang burdening?
He didn’t want to get in the way of Seonghwa’s happiness.
“Also… I know it’s probably too late for me to say this, but if you really don’t want to get married, I can try and talk to them.”
It took Yeosang a while to shake his head. I’ll be fine, he mouthed. The marriage was their father’s wish, after all.
Seonghwa noticed that it was already past midnight. He then disappeared into the kitchen, only to return with a small, beautiful round cake. “Happy birthday, Park Yeosang!”
Yeosang’s face brightened when he read Happy Birthday, Baby Brother on the cake.
Seonghwa put on a single candle on the surface and told him to make a wish. Yeosang didn’t really make a wish, but he blew the candle anyway. Their mouths were already full with the cake, when Seonghwa realized he forgot to sing the birthday song.
It was already too late now that the cake had been violated to pieces.
They slept side by side that night in Seonghwa’s room, but Yeosang couldn’t really sleep. His thoughts kept coming back to the big event the following morning. He thought Seonghwa had fallen asleep, but it turned out he hadn’t, because the latter suddenly turned to him.
“What if you don’t like him, Yeosang?”
Yeosang shrugged. It was one of his fears too, of course.
“Have you even wondered what he looks like? What if he’s bald? What if he’s shorter than you? What if he doesn’t work out, and his stomach is bulging so big like it’s about to burst?”
Now Seonghwa certainly just want to annoy him.
“I’m serious,” Seonghwa said, but his eyes said otherwise. “I’ve seen him once, you know.”
Yeosang gasped in horror.
Seonghwa held back his laughter as he pulled his brother into a hug. “Yes, I’ve seen him. Not my type, though. But he certainly looks compatible with you. Do you even know his name? Never mind, you’ll meet him later today. Come on, go to sleep, or else we’ll be late in the morning.”
Yeosang poked his brother’s side playfully before deciding he really should go to sleep. After a few times tossing and turning, Yeosang was finally close to a deep slumber when he heard Seonghwa muttering,
“I sincerely hope you’ll be happy, Yeosangie.”
***
Yeosang was dressed in a black suit and a bowtie.
Seonghwa said the wedding was just going to be a simple ceremony, that there wouldn’t be any reception. He was just going to take Yeosang to the said place, and it was as far as he could go.
The whole trip was filled with silence. Yeosang was so nervous that he couldn’t feel his hands, it was as if they were frozen.
Seonghwa hugged him for a long, long time before pulling away and placed a kiss on his forehead. Promise me you’ll be happy, were his last words before letting go of Yeosang’s hand.
Yeosang shut his eyes. He didn’t have the heart to see his brother leaving-he really was going to be left alone. Yeosang was close to freaking out when he felt someone grabbing his hand. For a second, he thought it was Seonghwa, planning to take him back, but it was someone else. Someone he had never seen before.
“Hi,” the person greeted with a warm smile. “You’re finally here.”
Yeosang had to lift his chin slightly to take a look at the other person. The male was extremely tall compared to him. He was also dressed in a suit, and the way he styled his wavy hair suit him. If he was a sculpture, the sculptor must’ve spent thousands of hours creating him because every shape in his face was perfection. The male was, in a word…
…breathtaking.
Yeosang couldn’t seem to show any reaction, his brain didn’t function properly that day.
“You don’t speak, I know,” the male patted Yeosang’s hair gently. “It’s all right.”
Yeosang’s cheeks reddened, but somehow it dissipated his insecurities. Their significant height difference made Yeosang feel small. He must’ve been staring too long when the taller male squeezed his hand-turned out they were still holding hands.
“Let’s go, it’s about to begin,” he pointed at the building behind him. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to see my face a lot after the ceremony. Oh, by the way, my name is Song Mingi.”
Mingi brought Yeosang’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back of his hand.
“And I’m your husband, starting from this very moment.”
[2]