(no subject)
So where was I?
I can't count the number of times since my last entry where I wish I had updated certain events, but since I can't change the past there's no point in fretting about it now. (Look towards the future, right?) I'm here now to point out that I've been avoiding almost all contact with people who know me. Why? I'm not sure yet. I really need to scrape off the layers of habits I've accumulated over the months, maybe even years. Severing contact with people I know seems like the first step: stop all incoming sources. Next, remove what you have. Lastly, touch up your core and prepare for new incoming traits.
The last week has been rough: work is slow and tedious, and I spent most of my time at work thinking of how to get out of this rut and into a job/career that I would enjoy. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in that paradox of not being able to look for another job while I'm currently at work. My nights were spent sleeping prematurely or slowly getting my life back on track, preparing for when I do have time off to go out and look for a better lifestyle.
I've noticed one major constraint: time. When did I lose so much of it? Why am I pulled in so many directions that I don't have time to maintain my velocity, let alone branch off in other, proper directions? It's time to get out the scissors and start cutting ties, removing the anchors which are keeping me in too many places at once. Luckily I'll be done school in a few months, and once I get a more appropriate job I can converge several lifestyles together. But still, it will be a matter of time before I can readily head out the door to hang out with friends or spend money in a carefree manner. For now, everything needs to have a purpose, to build towards a good outcome. I can't afford to waste any more resources, be they time, money, or thoughts, unless I want to risk plummeting into a very deep hole.
Oh well. I won't mind the solitude too much. I go through these phases often enough to know they're worthwhile, and the rewards grow exponentially after a certain amount of time (much like working overtime). Metamorphosis: building my shell around me, only to break out of it later. L.B. would approve.
I can't count the number of times since my last entry where I wish I had updated certain events, but since I can't change the past there's no point in fretting about it now. (Look towards the future, right?) I'm here now to point out that I've been avoiding almost all contact with people who know me. Why? I'm not sure yet. I really need to scrape off the layers of habits I've accumulated over the months, maybe even years. Severing contact with people I know seems like the first step: stop all incoming sources. Next, remove what you have. Lastly, touch up your core and prepare for new incoming traits.
The last week has been rough: work is slow and tedious, and I spent most of my time at work thinking of how to get out of this rut and into a job/career that I would enjoy. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in that paradox of not being able to look for another job while I'm currently at work. My nights were spent sleeping prematurely or slowly getting my life back on track, preparing for when I do have time off to go out and look for a better lifestyle.
I've noticed one major constraint: time. When did I lose so much of it? Why am I pulled in so many directions that I don't have time to maintain my velocity, let alone branch off in other, proper directions? It's time to get out the scissors and start cutting ties, removing the anchors which are keeping me in too many places at once. Luckily I'll be done school in a few months, and once I get a more appropriate job I can converge several lifestyles together. But still, it will be a matter of time before I can readily head out the door to hang out with friends or spend money in a carefree manner. For now, everything needs to have a purpose, to build towards a good outcome. I can't afford to waste any more resources, be they time, money, or thoughts, unless I want to risk plummeting into a very deep hole.
Oh well. I won't mind the solitude too much. I go through these phases often enough to know they're worthwhile, and the rewards grow exponentially after a certain amount of time (much like working overtime). Metamorphosis: building my shell around me, only to break out of it later. L.B. would approve.