Disappointment
It's been too long since I've updated. The regular excuses: too tired, roommate has the internet cord, no computer around, the moment to write has left.... But now I'm here, so don't worry about the past; concentrate on saying what you need to now.
Disappointment.
That sums up the last few months, and especially the past few weeks. The holidays were good: I enjoyed time off work, I got lots of stuff for Christmas, got to be with my family this time 'round. New Year's was at the other end of the happiness scale. My trip to Vegas was halted at all avenues, literally. Three major routes were blocked by bad weather. What are the odds? My friends could not make the journey cuz one of them was really sick. What are the chances of that happening at the last minute? Anyways, I made it back to Canada in time to spend New Year's with my friends, and had a decent drug-induced epipheny, so it wasn't all bad.
The disappointment theme continues. One of my friends continuously lets me down, not on purpose, but... maybe that's just the way some people are. I guess I just want too much from people sometimes. I could say that since I demand near-perfection from myself that I expect it from others, but that doesn't quite cover my feelings. For that matter, I could transfer the disappointment to almost anyone and everyone I know. Maybe it's just easier to expect to be let down at some point. They are all human, after all.
I'm disappointed I haven't gotten a new/better job yet, but not at myself. I got a fairly bad burn from work last week, but I couldn't bring myself to get angry at the guy who caused it. How can you blame someone's stupidity when that's all they've known? Today I got a ticket from driving the work truck when my boss told me to drive it with a broken turn light, even when he knew it was broken. Why should I get the ticket? I got my other boss to cover it, but why should it go on my record?
The place I live in is definitely going downhill. For the past 2 months, the furnace has threatened to blow up. Now, we had major flooding in all our rooms. Luckily my room is on the high end of the slant so I got the least damage, but WTF? What curse was placed on this suite to have so many things wrong with it? Luckily I've already made plans to move out, but now it looks like my roommates will move to as the flooding won't get fixed without major foundation work. A pity, we had such dreams for this place once...
My roommates, that's another story. One of them, to be specific. Have I become like the other 'friends' who seem to use him to make themselves feel better? I don't think it's gone that far, but I find it hard to put myself down when he does some of the things he does. I guess he's more like a bad guy with good tendencies, or an ogre with feelings. That's putting it harshly, but maybe I don't really mean it.
What lies next for me? Hopefully next month will be better. As I've just started school again this semester, things will get busy by then. I'll be living in a new apartment, new location, so maybe I'll force myself to get a new job. I wouldn't mind putting my social life on hold so I can get my personal life back on track. I think I need to become a hermit again, as being around others all the time really drains my powers. Nothing seems to be left for me; where does it all go? Wasted...
Well, it's been fun, but it's been too long without a decent night's sleep, and it'll be another long day tomorrow. I'll be back soon, as I've got some events to attend the next few weekends and there should be new developments (or at least the opportunities for them). Night.
Disappointment.
That sums up the last few months, and especially the past few weeks. The holidays were good: I enjoyed time off work, I got lots of stuff for Christmas, got to be with my family this time 'round. New Year's was at the other end of the happiness scale. My trip to Vegas was halted at all avenues, literally. Three major routes were blocked by bad weather. What are the odds? My friends could not make the journey cuz one of them was really sick. What are the chances of that happening at the last minute? Anyways, I made it back to Canada in time to spend New Year's with my friends, and had a decent drug-induced epipheny, so it wasn't all bad.
The disappointment theme continues. One of my friends continuously lets me down, not on purpose, but... maybe that's just the way some people are. I guess I just want too much from people sometimes. I could say that since I demand near-perfection from myself that I expect it from others, but that doesn't quite cover my feelings. For that matter, I could transfer the disappointment to almost anyone and everyone I know. Maybe it's just easier to expect to be let down at some point. They are all human, after all.
I'm disappointed I haven't gotten a new/better job yet, but not at myself. I got a fairly bad burn from work last week, but I couldn't bring myself to get angry at the guy who caused it. How can you blame someone's stupidity when that's all they've known? Today I got a ticket from driving the work truck when my boss told me to drive it with a broken turn light, even when he knew it was broken. Why should I get the ticket? I got my other boss to cover it, but why should it go on my record?
The place I live in is definitely going downhill. For the past 2 months, the furnace has threatened to blow up. Now, we had major flooding in all our rooms. Luckily my room is on the high end of the slant so I got the least damage, but WTF? What curse was placed on this suite to have so many things wrong with it? Luckily I've already made plans to move out, but now it looks like my roommates will move to as the flooding won't get fixed without major foundation work. A pity, we had such dreams for this place once...
My roommates, that's another story. One of them, to be specific. Have I become like the other 'friends' who seem to use him to make themselves feel better? I don't think it's gone that far, but I find it hard to put myself down when he does some of the things he does. I guess he's more like a bad guy with good tendencies, or an ogre with feelings. That's putting it harshly, but maybe I don't really mean it.
What lies next for me? Hopefully next month will be better. As I've just started school again this semester, things will get busy by then. I'll be living in a new apartment, new location, so maybe I'll force myself to get a new job. I wouldn't mind putting my social life on hold so I can get my personal life back on track. I think I need to become a hermit again, as being around others all the time really drains my powers. Nothing seems to be left for me; where does it all go? Wasted...
Well, it's been fun, but it's been too long without a decent night's sleep, and it'll be another long day tomorrow. I'll be back soon, as I've got some events to attend the next few weekends and there should be new developments (or at least the opportunities for them). Night.