throwing everything out the window
minor epiphany that has been stewing in me since mass with father lai, my favorite priest if only because his chinese tongue slips on the hard c's: in the movement towards a purpose, it's the how, and not the what, that first counts.
i've been in frantic search for a solid what to work towards, ever since any pretense of internal equilibrium in me exploded, ink-staining the skin beneath my nails in a macbeth deep into his soliloquy kind of way.
and, of course, last week was my last week as a regular undergrad, and, of course, it was as humdrum as the rest have been. no romance, no bittersweetness, no premature nostalgia, of course, no excitement for the future.
but here is where i remind myself again: it's the how, it's the how. slow down, stop pressuring yourself to feel things artificially just to keep in rhythm with everyone else.
keep breaking down, keep feeling things out, tap that well dry. then, begin slowly again. you may be dumb, but, hey, you deserve a bit of enlightenment. that bit of enlightenment that only comes in between a fuckload of oscillating back and forth
so ass-ept it: keep on that course, keep on that course, keep on th
i've been in frantic search for a solid what to work towards, ever since any pretense of internal equilibrium in me exploded, ink-staining the skin beneath my nails in a macbeth deep into his soliloquy kind of way.
and, of course, last week was my last week as a regular undergrad, and, of course, it was as humdrum as the rest have been. no romance, no bittersweetness, no premature nostalgia, of course, no excitement for the future.
but here is where i remind myself again: it's the how, it's the how. slow down, stop pressuring yourself to feel things artificially just to keep in rhythm with everyone else.
keep breaking down, keep feeling things out, tap that well dry. then, begin slowly again. you may be dumb, but, hey, you deserve a bit of enlightenment. that bit of enlightenment that only comes in between a fuckload of oscillating back and forth
so ass-ept it: keep on that course, keep on that course, keep on th