(no subject)
I'm so fat. I weigh 61.3 or something but my thighs are HUGE! Not to mention my butt. I think I should go to Jenny Craig. I hate being fat. I wish I was thinner, just so I could be happier. I have a belly too. Grr. Sometimes I don't give a crap cos people should love us the way we are, but it just gets to me, especially when I want people, Isaac, to like me. I wanna go partying with James and George!
My headphones try to choke me while I'm sleeping. I swear it's true! I listen to music cos I doubt I have the ability to fall asleep sooner, and I wake up and they are twisted around my neck or stabbing me in the back. WTF? Craziness. At 7am this morning, I was awake and heard D&H moving about, so I put my headphones on and I must have fallen asleep really quickly and I woke up with them as a necklace. Funny that, but freaky. I wonder if someone's trying to tell me something. Maybe that's how I'm gonna die.
I got a letter from Ann-Marie today. She's so wonderful and it's great to have a friendship with and older woman but at the same time cos of the age gap it seems strange and unnatural. But I'm happy. She said how they're coming up in about 2 weeks and that we might be able to catch up. I'll be down in Brissie! I might go down next week to see Andi and Rob, and then go back to see Ann-Marie.
I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm just drifting and I want to find my feet. I guess that's in Launnie for Uni but I need something for now. I don't know what my immediate future holds and that's a problem. I'm stumbling in the dark, or the bright white light, whichever describes it better, and I don't want to anymore. I feel better day to day up here but I kinda miss feeling secure and know what I'm coming home to. I'll find my feet eventually.
My headphones try to choke me while I'm sleeping. I swear it's true! I listen to music cos I doubt I have the ability to fall asleep sooner, and I wake up and they are twisted around my neck or stabbing me in the back. WTF? Craziness. At 7am this morning, I was awake and heard D&H moving about, so I put my headphones on and I must have fallen asleep really quickly and I woke up with them as a necklace. Funny that, but freaky. I wonder if someone's trying to tell me something. Maybe that's how I'm gonna die.
I got a letter from Ann-Marie today. She's so wonderful and it's great to have a friendship with and older woman but at the same time cos of the age gap it seems strange and unnatural. But I'm happy. She said how they're coming up in about 2 weeks and that we might be able to catch up. I'll be down in Brissie! I might go down next week to see Andi and Rob, and then go back to see Ann-Marie.
I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm just drifting and I want to find my feet. I guess that's in Launnie for Uni but I need something for now. I don't know what my immediate future holds and that's a problem. I'm stumbling in the dark, or the bright white light, whichever describes it better, and I don't want to anymore. I feel better day to day up here but I kinda miss feeling secure and know what I'm coming home to. I'll find my feet eventually.