Kaboom. Don't you just love it when life blows up at you??
I wish I wasn't typing this right now. Or ever, would be good. Derek & I are so far behind, that we are getting evicted. Between being without a car at all for almost 2 months, and some bad employment choices, we just couldn't hack it. So yesterday, I called my mom to tell her, not to ask for her help but just for moral support (that's funny, really) and she told me that I coulc come live with her, but only on two conditions: 1) That it's me, and not Derek & I; and 2) That I am willing to give up total control of my life to her. She thinks all my problems are Derek's fault and that he'll never be able to support me and a child adequately. So, I called my dad after that, again, only for moral support, and he told me, after speaking to my mother, that he agrees with her. I have way too many problems with this whole situation.
Firstly, that nobody except me can see that we made this bed together. That's always been a problem with my parents. Neither one of them is willing to admit that I create a lot of my own mess. They're always looking for someone else to blame it on. I've never been able to take responsibility for my own life with them.
Secondly, they don't seem to understand that this is the father of my baby. Whether they like him or not, I won't rip my family apart before it has a chance to get started. I won't believe that this dream I have of having a home and a family is over before it's begun. I never had the opportunity to remember living with both of my parents together. I only remember them divorced and fighting. I won't do that to my daughter. I'm not giving this up without a fight. I want her to have a home and a mother and father who love each other. My mom says that he can not live with us and still be involved. Damnit - that's not what I want! I want her to have us both there for her.
Everybody knows "what's best for me & the baby" but nobody cares what I want for us.
So I don't know what we're going to do right now, but for the time being, I'm not speaking to either of my parents.
Firstly, that nobody except me can see that we made this bed together. That's always been a problem with my parents. Neither one of them is willing to admit that I create a lot of my own mess. They're always looking for someone else to blame it on. I've never been able to take responsibility for my own life with them.
Secondly, they don't seem to understand that this is the father of my baby. Whether they like him or not, I won't rip my family apart before it has a chance to get started. I won't believe that this dream I have of having a home and a family is over before it's begun. I never had the opportunity to remember living with both of my parents together. I only remember them divorced and fighting. I won't do that to my daughter. I'm not giving this up without a fight. I want her to have a home and a mother and father who love each other. My mom says that he can not live with us and still be involved. Damnit - that's not what I want! I want her to have us both there for her.
Everybody knows "what's best for me & the baby" but nobody cares what I want for us.
So I don't know what we're going to do right now, but for the time being, I'm not speaking to either of my parents.