Someone told my mom that she would "really enjoy The Hangover" and that she "should totally watch it because it's hilarious."

I can only be convinced of five fundamental truths based on this suggestion:

1. This person is in their 20s and has yet to develop the awareness that a 57-year-old woman who drinks a glass of cold duck (cheap ass wine) mixed ( Read more... )

My parents have been helping Tom for three weeks now.

My mom is also having heart issues....her heart rate is off the charts.  EKG was normal.  It's called "excessive worry and anxiety."  The woman doesn't know how to slow down.

Because she worries about things like this:

"findyouranswers," she said after I finished painting Tom's basement the brightest damn gold ( Read more... )

My mom called this morning.  We hadn't spoken over the weekend which, in Rosenthal years, is sort of like missing a decade.  She started of the conversation with an almost jolly, "How the hell are ya?" sounding greeting.  I spoke to her at 5:07 on Friday night.  I did exactly zero things of note this weekend.  The Cubs got rained out.  Dad had to ( Read more... )

We order our coffee from Hawaii.  It's cheap and the best damn coffee on earth.  So we do it.  You know that every indulgence I have is in the form of liquid.

This morning it was near the end of the bag and so instead of measuring it, I just dumped what was left in the filter and pressed on.

Magically, this produced crank.

Rochester is due to receive ( Read more... )

Mom just called.  She's been doing educational presentations all over the state of Iowa with my former preschool teacher.

"I felt I should call before you hear it from someone else," she said.  "This should fill your blog until 2009."

"Okay, shoot," I said, taking notes.

"Well, first of all, I forced Kris to leave at 5:45 on Tuesday morning.  She is ( Read more... )

Only in my family is it possible to have a Mom story on Father's Day.  Sometimes, I worry that I'm picking on her.  Other times, I realize she is simply comedic gold and time spent with her is material just waiting to happen.

Like when her leg falls asleep at a hi-top table at Buffalo Wild Wings and she begins to try to maneuver it back awake by ( Read more... )