apple sauce part 3...
Unfortuantely my phone is pretty poverty level, or else I could easily probably just put up all the conversation that happened. But im only allowed like 100 messages on my phone at once so I dont have it all saved. I only have ever saved the truely bizare shit that she has messaged me. But heres basically a jist of what happened....
So I message her about what is her problem finally, and if she is disgusted by me. Like just be straight up for once because this is stupid.
Also note at this time for future reference while this is going on I had messaged Jessie earlier. And I wrote her something like how do you be so friendly when you are getting invited to groups of like 20 people you dont know. Well she basically tells me she does hang out with Apple girl and others in smaller groups sometimes. Plus they work together so they already have that propinquity effect. So im like yea maybe that is why its so hard to get to know anyone because you actually get to hang out alone. Not that I didn't already know that. But making conversation. Also of note for later she tells me something along the lines of that even after bad things happen, good things happen. I jokingly tell her so yong so naive. You know that cliche sorta line. As a joke. (remember this is important for later) Because obviously this girl probably has no idea what kinda stuff ive had to go through in my life. But just kept it at that.. anyway moving on...
So she gives me some excuse that there is nothing wrong at first, and that we will hang out in smaller groups too...
This esculates really quickly. And she turns around and is basically like you know what you do make me uncomfertable with these messages all the time...
Whoa whoa.. Wait time out.... Messages all the time? Ive only texted you from ME MYSELF a few times EVER. You were the one always texting me. I only texted you recently because you told me you were more free to hang out, so obviously I took that as hey lets hang out. Since I was already getting tired of going to these things where I basically dont know anyone. Granted yes I will admit I did ask her a couple times in person as I wrote here like what is the problem, is it that I told you I like you/you are good looking whatever. Im sorry that was backwards but I cant take that back now. So yea.. If you want to blame me for that ok. Ill accept that, but at the same time you are the one that was weirding me out(I didnt say all of this but..)but I figured I would just take it and think of your feelings so I asked you what was wrong...
She messages me that actually she was really mad at me because I tried to look through her phone.
What? I tell her that I wasnt, and I explain that she passed it around and then I didnt get to look at I thought she was joking. She is getting really mad as I defend myself and is like well I thought you were and thats really fucked up, because I wouldnt even let my BF ever go through my phone(remember this line). Im like dude sorry but I didnt...
She tells me that on second thought we do need to hang out alone and get something to eat some day to clear the air about everything thats been going on....
I tell her that I dont want our first time hanging out to be together to be about something negative like me trying to go through her phone. And that im tired of there always being a weird vibe between us and I just want to hang out and have fun if im going to see her. Big mistake...
She flips.. And gets really pissed. Starts talking about what a awful person I am, and how she doesnt want to talk to me anymore anyway.
Basically I endure about 3 or 4 days of texts about what a terrible person I am and how she never wants to talk to me ever again. Some key points of this...
-She tells me that yes she does ignore me on puprose when we are out together. Because she thinks im not friendly enough with Cassie, and her BF....
Its like wtf I barely know them, I barely even know YOU the person that inviting me out. She gets mad and says you do know everyone blah blah. .... =/ She also gets mad saying that I should have gone to cassies party for cassie not for her. I tell her that I did and if anything I talked to her and BF more then I did her as usual....
I later message Cassie asking her if she thought I didnt talk to her at the party. I dont tell her that Apple girl said that, but.... She tells me no and that if anything she thought she wasnt talking to everyone enough.. Apparently she goes and tells Apple girl about this though and I get in more trouble.. *face palm*
-She tells me the orginal reason I guess that she has been so mad at me is beacuse I told her I couldnt handle being alone with her and wouldnt go to see spider man if it was just me and her.. And that will really weird a person out.
WHOA time out. This message in paticular really upset me. I tried to explain to her exactly what happened that I sent her the wrong message but she wouldnt have it. Plus I sent her "nervous" not that I couldnt be alone wtih her. I even explained to her the whole story which made her more mad as I got into why I typed nervous and she got really pissed. Like who is talking shit about me kinda stuff. Its like dude I thought you wanted me to tell you what happened, so I explained to you exactly what happened. And besides that you already know that I fucking like you and have said I want to get to know you so why would you even think that. OK whatever obviously this text one wrong text message has really fucked me. Anyway while explaining this I have opened up a whole can of worms.....
So now not only am I defending myself I now have to defend other people. So basically other people become a factor(as if they werent already)in us being friends...
Basically I try to tell her that I am not the only one that is being werided out or think that is something wrong or not normal with how this friendship is going. She gets pissed and gets mad at Shawn. Now of course me and Shawn have talked about Apple girl before. And he has told me as well that he thinks she is acting weird. Apparantly even stranger SHE has messaged shawn saying that im being weird, and creepy, and that im to negative and that even if she didnt have a BF she couldnt be with me because im to negative around her...
...... WTF?
Why do you think im acting this way....
Shawn is like yea I dont think its right for her to say that stuff about you. And how can you be creepy in the first place when she is the one messaging you to hang out and then doesnt want to talk to you.
I dont out right tell her that I know the shit she has been saying but I hint at it. Of course Shawn tells me that she messages him about me and its sent in a foward message so it must have been sent to a lot of people he says. So obviously she is lieing when she is saying she doenst talk to me about anyone. And let alone the message is pretty mean and accuses me of doing shit that I havnt. Shawn tries to ask about the phone thing but she refuses to answer. Shawn says its probably because she knows shes wrong and shes just looking for any excuse to be mad at me. And that its just like he told me she is weird and thats why he stopped hanging out with her.
I try to tell him yea dude but at least you guys are friends so you dont have to hang out anymore and you still can be friends. Me and her arent even like real friends. So I have to keep trying to go to these things or else its like I wasted my time. And we dont have any other kinda propinquity effect or another sorta normal way to make friends. So I dont know what to do. I even try to hint this idea to Apple girl but she just doenst seem to get it...
-At one point facebook gets invovled. She starts writing about how I ruined her day, there are no more gentlemen in this world all this crap. Lets just say still at this point I have NEVER said anything bad about her. Even after all her messages talking about how shitty I am etc. I keep apologizing like a bitch and try to something how think of it her from her perspective that maybe I really did hurt her feelings. And that she thought I didnt want to hang out with her alone. She then posts a bizare post on my facebook, about how to properly talk to girls.....
.....
Right because the person that gets girls that throw himself at him for no reason, that is popular friend of his group really doenst know how to act around people. *rolls eyes* she still doesnt get that im the one weirded out. But whatever... Again I try to apologize....
At some point again it keeps going back and forth that she never wants to talk to me ever again. I try to make up for it and im like okay Apple girl im sorry please clear the air with me I only said I didnt want to hang out with you and do this shit because I didnt want out first time hanging out to be negative. You know I want to fucking see you so I will. I will leave what I am doing right now if thats what you want. Do you want me to beg you I dont know what your fucking deal is right now.
I was with friends at the time but I was willing to stop what I was doing just because I was so upset...
I guess this pisses her off more and she messages Shawn that now im trying to manipulate her, and being creepy by begging her. WTF? I said that not litterally but obviously this isnt going anywhere....
At some point I get so upset I post on facebook that ive been in my first fight and I feel really shitty. OH BOY she texts me and gets SUPER pissed that im talking shit about her or something. Im like wtf dude I just put that little thing and didnt even say your name. Not like you writing about how your day is ruined all this kinda crap while constantly making me feel shitty like I did something to do you in these messages....
And we stop talking.....
Im REAL upset. Like I basically just dealed with 4-5 days of hearing about how shitty I am. And someone basically accusing me of like talking shit about them when I havnt. If anything I have defended her and her BF to people. Jenn messages me and says she knows that Apple girl can be crazy and maybe she should ask Andrew or something whats going on. But I tell her no, that I told her I only have ever talked about her to a few people ever. And I ment that when I said it. I dont want to involve anyone else. And hell even if I did, im not really friends with everyone else like that for them to listen to anything I have to say even if I wanted to. But yea im upset... This person knows I wanted to get to know them, and yet now im getting screwed over cuz of one wrong text message?
She also BLOCKs me from facebook. As if I actually legitemetely did anything to her. And its like wtf FACEBOOK? seriously something so petty as that? WTF? But yea like I said im upset 4-5 days of being told how worthless you are well id be lying if I didnt tear up at a few points lol. Sigh...
I avoid her for awhile and try to talk to her again about 2-3 weeks later. I go into Kroger(not for her mind you but..)and I see she is there... And i ask Staysha what I should do. A girl Becca comes down and sees us talking and I ask her what else she would do if a girl was mad lol. Basically they tell me they think I should write her a letter and get a her a spider man balloon. Spider man balloon im all for. And even thought about it myself bringing it to her and apologizing. But letter? Nah thats to weird. So I say fuck that. Althuogh I did think maybe I should say something like "how much does a polar bear weight? ... enough to break the ice" but I say fuck it.... I see her walk by and I wave her over. And she comes over... And we talk for awhile...
Its a weird conversation.. One of those she tells me what she is upset about, and I try and explain myself. I try to tell her why im upset.. And I dont get much...
Random notes...
-I try to ask about the movie thing if that is what she is really mad about. She says yes and that she had no way of knowing I didnt mean that when i said nervous. I tried to tell her I was going to think of something to make it better but I never got the chance..
-She tells me something randomly that she thought I was gay. And got pissed at me for playing with her emotions. WTF? First of all I could take that in a lot of diff ways. Its like ok are you mad that I havnt flirted wtih you now or something? You have a BF and you arent really giving me any good vibes to try something like that in the first place. Plus you have a BF so why should you care if im gay or not. Also I just told you I was with other girls as well this summer when everything was going down with that orginal message about the movies. She says well Shawn texted me you had a BF.. I was like wtf.. Note that I didnt ask shawn about this till about a month after this conversation as I thought it was so stupid. He showed me the message and I guess he did say I have BF but she obviously read it wrong. To be honest shawn was more upset about it then I was and wanted to tell her then to stop being so weird. But I told him not to and that it wasnt a big deal to me. Again he just told me she is weird and that she wasnt popular in school and shes probably never had guys like her before so shes not use to how to act.. But whatever... I ask Staysha what to think about this as well she is like well she did use to tell me she thought it was weird that you werent asking her to do anything even though you like her. Its like well dude wtf am I suppose to do, shes friendly with me one min then ignores me to the point of being rude the next. I guess later on Apple girl even went up to Becca and Staysha and supposedly tells her that she was mad about the gay thing as well.... werid but whatever.. It honestly doenst bother me that much its so silly but hey im writing so...
-She was mad about this jessie thing, and thought that I legit called her young and naive... Ridiculous I try to explain what happened but....
-She gives me some excuse that being friends with me is a lot of stress because she always thinks she is hurting my feelings or something. Its like well yea dude maybe because you act weird around me...
-She also tells me some weird shit that BF saw she was upset and started reading her text messages and told her to delete my number.
.....
So much for never letting anyone see your phone eh? I try to tell her im sorry(....)that she is upset and the fact she is upset I should just take as confidence we are cool in the first place but its like what am I supposed to do you are weriding me out. I dont care to much about BF reading the messages as she admits that her friends all know that I like her and she told me she just told me that they didnt because she thought then I wouldnt hang out with her. I try to tell her that its actualy the opposite, that at least if you told me that then I would know why you are acting weird. But you are putting me in a posititon like giving me a shit test when supposedly know one even knows who I am in the first place. Like if it were me and I was bringing someone new into a group of friends and told them that know one knows them I would introduce them to everyone to make them feel welcome. But she never did that for me. I try to basiaclly tell her this but I dont get much... I dont care that people know I think your hot, I care you tell people know one knows who I am and then you invite me to shit and dont talk to me like im a nobody and it makes me look boring all the time. Especially considering how friendly you are. Since your like the leader of your friends. Which she got pissed at that comment. Even though it was a compliment.. whatever..
-There was also something else that came up that I didnt mention before. At cassies party Apple girl mentioned at one point that no one wants to ever hang out with her. Right in front of me. Which really pissed me off. I tried to bring this up but I didnt get a good answer. It was something like she was just trying to get this other guy in on the conversation since know one was talking to him.......
.... Right...
-She also tells me something weird that right when she found out that I liked her it was right around the time that she and BF broke up, so she told BF that I liked her and then they got back together... Not sure what to make of that one. I was like dude wtf I didnt even know your name I dont know when you are going out with someone and when you arent. Again not sure how I was suppose to take this comment but it was strange. Also strange you seem to think so little of me constantly so why would you need to tell your BF that someone else thinks your good looking.. then you get back with him? Yea.. Ill let you think about that..Its weird to me.. And of course the whole you thought it was weird timing.. Its like how the fuck would I know? Anyway yea I dunno just another mind boggling comment that fucks me up to this day while writing this...
Well whatever the case she hugged me and said I think I understand and that I should always feel like we can talk to each other about things... I didnt feel that way even after this conversation.. But .. She also told me I shouldnt be so negative, and again I tried to take her perspective and be like ok sorry. Even though again the only one that has ever been negative about our friendship was her. But I just ate crow.. And said ok.. I never brought up the Chris thing, even though I wanted to and let it be.. She said she liked the spider man balloon... I tried to reconfirm and im like dude are you sure we are cool because I told you before I want to be your friend but I dont want to be fake friends. And even if we arent friends im not going to talk shit about you. I just want to know. And she gave me another hug and said no we are cool, and the conversation is just going in circles... I was like.. well.. OK if your sure...
I left not really sure if anything i asked was even answered, and once again just felt like I was aplogizing for stuff that wasnt true in the first place... And was pretty down about the whole thing.. But whatever... I just hoped that it was cool.....
So I message her about what is her problem finally, and if she is disgusted by me. Like just be straight up for once because this is stupid.
Also note at this time for future reference while this is going on I had messaged Jessie earlier. And I wrote her something like how do you be so friendly when you are getting invited to groups of like 20 people you dont know. Well she basically tells me she does hang out with Apple girl and others in smaller groups sometimes. Plus they work together so they already have that propinquity effect. So im like yea maybe that is why its so hard to get to know anyone because you actually get to hang out alone. Not that I didn't already know that. But making conversation. Also of note for later she tells me something along the lines of that even after bad things happen, good things happen. I jokingly tell her so yong so naive. You know that cliche sorta line. As a joke. (remember this is important for later) Because obviously this girl probably has no idea what kinda stuff ive had to go through in my life. But just kept it at that.. anyway moving on...
So she gives me some excuse that there is nothing wrong at first, and that we will hang out in smaller groups too...
This esculates really quickly. And she turns around and is basically like you know what you do make me uncomfertable with these messages all the time...
Whoa whoa.. Wait time out.... Messages all the time? Ive only texted you from ME MYSELF a few times EVER. You were the one always texting me. I only texted you recently because you told me you were more free to hang out, so obviously I took that as hey lets hang out. Since I was already getting tired of going to these things where I basically dont know anyone. Granted yes I will admit I did ask her a couple times in person as I wrote here like what is the problem, is it that I told you I like you/you are good looking whatever. Im sorry that was backwards but I cant take that back now. So yea.. If you want to blame me for that ok. Ill accept that, but at the same time you are the one that was weirding me out(I didnt say all of this but..)but I figured I would just take it and think of your feelings so I asked you what was wrong...
She messages me that actually she was really mad at me because I tried to look through her phone.
What? I tell her that I wasnt, and I explain that she passed it around and then I didnt get to look at I thought she was joking. She is getting really mad as I defend myself and is like well I thought you were and thats really fucked up, because I wouldnt even let my BF ever go through my phone(remember this line). Im like dude sorry but I didnt...
She tells me that on second thought we do need to hang out alone and get something to eat some day to clear the air about everything thats been going on....
I tell her that I dont want our first time hanging out to be together to be about something negative like me trying to go through her phone. And that im tired of there always being a weird vibe between us and I just want to hang out and have fun if im going to see her. Big mistake...
She flips.. And gets really pissed. Starts talking about what a awful person I am, and how she doesnt want to talk to me anymore anyway.
Basically I endure about 3 or 4 days of texts about what a terrible person I am and how she never wants to talk to me ever again. Some key points of this...
-She tells me that yes she does ignore me on puprose when we are out together. Because she thinks im not friendly enough with Cassie, and her BF....
Its like wtf I barely know them, I barely even know YOU the person that inviting me out. She gets mad and says you do know everyone blah blah. .... =/ She also gets mad saying that I should have gone to cassies party for cassie not for her. I tell her that I did and if anything I talked to her and BF more then I did her as usual....
I later message Cassie asking her if she thought I didnt talk to her at the party. I dont tell her that Apple girl said that, but.... She tells me no and that if anything she thought she wasnt talking to everyone enough.. Apparently she goes and tells Apple girl about this though and I get in more trouble.. *face palm*
-She tells me the orginal reason I guess that she has been so mad at me is beacuse I told her I couldnt handle being alone with her and wouldnt go to see spider man if it was just me and her.. And that will really weird a person out.
WHOA time out. This message in paticular really upset me. I tried to explain to her exactly what happened that I sent her the wrong message but she wouldnt have it. Plus I sent her "nervous" not that I couldnt be alone wtih her. I even explained to her the whole story which made her more mad as I got into why I typed nervous and she got really pissed. Like who is talking shit about me kinda stuff. Its like dude I thought you wanted me to tell you what happened, so I explained to you exactly what happened. And besides that you already know that I fucking like you and have said I want to get to know you so why would you even think that. OK whatever obviously this text one wrong text message has really fucked me. Anyway while explaining this I have opened up a whole can of worms.....
So now not only am I defending myself I now have to defend other people. So basically other people become a factor(as if they werent already)in us being friends...
Basically I try to tell her that I am not the only one that is being werided out or think that is something wrong or not normal with how this friendship is going. She gets pissed and gets mad at Shawn. Now of course me and Shawn have talked about Apple girl before. And he has told me as well that he thinks she is acting weird. Apparantly even stranger SHE has messaged shawn saying that im being weird, and creepy, and that im to negative and that even if she didnt have a BF she couldnt be with me because im to negative around her...
...... WTF?
Why do you think im acting this way....
Shawn is like yea I dont think its right for her to say that stuff about you. And how can you be creepy in the first place when she is the one messaging you to hang out and then doesnt want to talk to you.
I dont out right tell her that I know the shit she has been saying but I hint at it. Of course Shawn tells me that she messages him about me and its sent in a foward message so it must have been sent to a lot of people he says. So obviously she is lieing when she is saying she doenst talk to me about anyone. And let alone the message is pretty mean and accuses me of doing shit that I havnt. Shawn tries to ask about the phone thing but she refuses to answer. Shawn says its probably because she knows shes wrong and shes just looking for any excuse to be mad at me. And that its just like he told me she is weird and thats why he stopped hanging out with her.
I try to tell him yea dude but at least you guys are friends so you dont have to hang out anymore and you still can be friends. Me and her arent even like real friends. So I have to keep trying to go to these things or else its like I wasted my time. And we dont have any other kinda propinquity effect or another sorta normal way to make friends. So I dont know what to do. I even try to hint this idea to Apple girl but she just doenst seem to get it...
-At one point facebook gets invovled. She starts writing about how I ruined her day, there are no more gentlemen in this world all this crap. Lets just say still at this point I have NEVER said anything bad about her. Even after all her messages talking about how shitty I am etc. I keep apologizing like a bitch and try to something how think of it her from her perspective that maybe I really did hurt her feelings. And that she thought I didnt want to hang out with her alone. She then posts a bizare post on my facebook, about how to properly talk to girls.....
.....
Right because the person that gets girls that throw himself at him for no reason, that is popular friend of his group really doenst know how to act around people. *rolls eyes* she still doesnt get that im the one weirded out. But whatever... Again I try to apologize....
At some point again it keeps going back and forth that she never wants to talk to me ever again. I try to make up for it and im like okay Apple girl im sorry please clear the air with me I only said I didnt want to hang out with you and do this shit because I didnt want out first time hanging out to be negative. You know I want to fucking see you so I will. I will leave what I am doing right now if thats what you want. Do you want me to beg you I dont know what your fucking deal is right now.
I was with friends at the time but I was willing to stop what I was doing just because I was so upset...
I guess this pisses her off more and she messages Shawn that now im trying to manipulate her, and being creepy by begging her. WTF? I said that not litterally but obviously this isnt going anywhere....
At some point I get so upset I post on facebook that ive been in my first fight and I feel really shitty. OH BOY she texts me and gets SUPER pissed that im talking shit about her or something. Im like wtf dude I just put that little thing and didnt even say your name. Not like you writing about how your day is ruined all this kinda crap while constantly making me feel shitty like I did something to do you in these messages....
And we stop talking.....
Im REAL upset. Like I basically just dealed with 4-5 days of hearing about how shitty I am. And someone basically accusing me of like talking shit about them when I havnt. If anything I have defended her and her BF to people. Jenn messages me and says she knows that Apple girl can be crazy and maybe she should ask Andrew or something whats going on. But I tell her no, that I told her I only have ever talked about her to a few people ever. And I ment that when I said it. I dont want to involve anyone else. And hell even if I did, im not really friends with everyone else like that for them to listen to anything I have to say even if I wanted to. But yea im upset... This person knows I wanted to get to know them, and yet now im getting screwed over cuz of one wrong text message?
She also BLOCKs me from facebook. As if I actually legitemetely did anything to her. And its like wtf FACEBOOK? seriously something so petty as that? WTF? But yea like I said im upset 4-5 days of being told how worthless you are well id be lying if I didnt tear up at a few points lol. Sigh...
I avoid her for awhile and try to talk to her again about 2-3 weeks later. I go into Kroger(not for her mind you but..)and I see she is there... And i ask Staysha what I should do. A girl Becca comes down and sees us talking and I ask her what else she would do if a girl was mad lol. Basically they tell me they think I should write her a letter and get a her a spider man balloon. Spider man balloon im all for. And even thought about it myself bringing it to her and apologizing. But letter? Nah thats to weird. So I say fuck that. Althuogh I did think maybe I should say something like "how much does a polar bear weight? ... enough to break the ice" but I say fuck it.... I see her walk by and I wave her over. And she comes over... And we talk for awhile...
Its a weird conversation.. One of those she tells me what she is upset about, and I try and explain myself. I try to tell her why im upset.. And I dont get much...
Random notes...
-I try to ask about the movie thing if that is what she is really mad about. She says yes and that she had no way of knowing I didnt mean that when i said nervous. I tried to tell her I was going to think of something to make it better but I never got the chance..
-She tells me something randomly that she thought I was gay. And got pissed at me for playing with her emotions. WTF? First of all I could take that in a lot of diff ways. Its like ok are you mad that I havnt flirted wtih you now or something? You have a BF and you arent really giving me any good vibes to try something like that in the first place. Plus you have a BF so why should you care if im gay or not. Also I just told you I was with other girls as well this summer when everything was going down with that orginal message about the movies. She says well Shawn texted me you had a BF.. I was like wtf.. Note that I didnt ask shawn about this till about a month after this conversation as I thought it was so stupid. He showed me the message and I guess he did say I have BF but she obviously read it wrong. To be honest shawn was more upset about it then I was and wanted to tell her then to stop being so weird. But I told him not to and that it wasnt a big deal to me. Again he just told me she is weird and that she wasnt popular in school and shes probably never had guys like her before so shes not use to how to act.. But whatever... I ask Staysha what to think about this as well she is like well she did use to tell me she thought it was weird that you werent asking her to do anything even though you like her. Its like well dude wtf am I suppose to do, shes friendly with me one min then ignores me to the point of being rude the next. I guess later on Apple girl even went up to Becca and Staysha and supposedly tells her that she was mad about the gay thing as well.... werid but whatever.. It honestly doenst bother me that much its so silly but hey im writing so...
-She was mad about this jessie thing, and thought that I legit called her young and naive... Ridiculous I try to explain what happened but....
-She gives me some excuse that being friends with me is a lot of stress because she always thinks she is hurting my feelings or something. Its like well yea dude maybe because you act weird around me...
-She also tells me some weird shit that BF saw she was upset and started reading her text messages and told her to delete my number.
.....
So much for never letting anyone see your phone eh? I try to tell her im sorry(....)that she is upset and the fact she is upset I should just take as confidence we are cool in the first place but its like what am I supposed to do you are weriding me out. I dont care to much about BF reading the messages as she admits that her friends all know that I like her and she told me she just told me that they didnt because she thought then I wouldnt hang out with her. I try to tell her that its actualy the opposite, that at least if you told me that then I would know why you are acting weird. But you are putting me in a posititon like giving me a shit test when supposedly know one even knows who I am in the first place. Like if it were me and I was bringing someone new into a group of friends and told them that know one knows them I would introduce them to everyone to make them feel welcome. But she never did that for me. I try to basiaclly tell her this but I dont get much... I dont care that people know I think your hot, I care you tell people know one knows who I am and then you invite me to shit and dont talk to me like im a nobody and it makes me look boring all the time. Especially considering how friendly you are. Since your like the leader of your friends. Which she got pissed at that comment. Even though it was a compliment.. whatever..
-There was also something else that came up that I didnt mention before. At cassies party Apple girl mentioned at one point that no one wants to ever hang out with her. Right in front of me. Which really pissed me off. I tried to bring this up but I didnt get a good answer. It was something like she was just trying to get this other guy in on the conversation since know one was talking to him.......
.... Right...
-She also tells me something weird that right when she found out that I liked her it was right around the time that she and BF broke up, so she told BF that I liked her and then they got back together... Not sure what to make of that one. I was like dude wtf I didnt even know your name I dont know when you are going out with someone and when you arent. Again not sure how I was suppose to take this comment but it was strange. Also strange you seem to think so little of me constantly so why would you need to tell your BF that someone else thinks your good looking.. then you get back with him? Yea.. Ill let you think about that..Its weird to me.. And of course the whole you thought it was weird timing.. Its like how the fuck would I know? Anyway yea I dunno just another mind boggling comment that fucks me up to this day while writing this...
Well whatever the case she hugged me and said I think I understand and that I should always feel like we can talk to each other about things... I didnt feel that way even after this conversation.. But .. She also told me I shouldnt be so negative, and again I tried to take her perspective and be like ok sorry. Even though again the only one that has ever been negative about our friendship was her. But I just ate crow.. And said ok.. I never brought up the Chris thing, even though I wanted to and let it be.. She said she liked the spider man balloon... I tried to reconfirm and im like dude are you sure we are cool because I told you before I want to be your friend but I dont want to be fake friends. And even if we arent friends im not going to talk shit about you. I just want to know. And she gave me another hug and said no we are cool, and the conversation is just going in circles... I was like.. well.. OK if your sure...
I left not really sure if anything i asked was even answered, and once again just felt like I was aplogizing for stuff that wasnt true in the first place... And was pretty down about the whole thing.. But whatever... I just hoped that it was cool.....