Feel Your Light: Chapter 7
“What are you talking about?” Kris asked softly, so the boys in the kitchen wouldn’t hear. “He thinks I hurt Kaleb?”
“That’s what Adam said. That Jesse feels like he has to protect Kaleb from us, and protect himself, too, I guess.”
“So, what do we do about it?” Kris wondered, keeping Jesse in his line of sight. This kid could give Katy a run for her money. He watched Kaleb like a hawk. “I don’t think it’ll make any difference if we tell him I didn’t do it.”
“No,” Katy mused. “But it’d be a start to really sit him down and tell him how things are done around here. That we don’t hit kids in our house. That kind of thing. He came so late at night and has been so quiet that I think that conversation just got lost in the shuffle.”
Kris nodded. “God, give us strength,” he prayed under his breath.
Katy led the way, smiling brightly at Jesse and Kaleb as she sat down at the table. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him, Jesse. You did a good job. Come and sit down here. Kris and I want to talk to you about something. Are you still hungry?” she knew it was a silly question, and served him some oatmeal. She poured him a glass of juice and waited as he hesitantly took his seat across the table from Kaleb, and surrounded on both sides by Katy and Kris.
Jesse sat on his hands. His stomach cramped up bad. Now was the time they were going to send him away, or yell or beat him up. Talking never meant real talking when you were an adult. So, Jesse forced himself not to eat the breakfast in front of him and waited for everything to go all to hell.
“We understand you’re scared, honey,” Katy told him in a voice that made Jesse confused. “In your life, you’ve probably had a lot of adults that you couldn’t trust. Adults that would hurt you.”
Jesse tipped his chin defiantly, his eyes blazing.
“Kris and I want you to know that we don’t hurt kids here. If you do something wrong, we’ll talk to you about it. Maybe you’ll lose a privilege. But we don’t hit each other. Kris didn’t hit Kaleb last night.”
“Daddy not hit me,” Kaleb reaffirmed, slurping his oatmeal noisily and reaching for the brown sugar.
“Right,” Katy nodded. “What happened to your head? Can you tell Jesse?”
Kris took the bowl from Kaleb’s hands and set it down, determined to convince Kaleb that he was a little boy and not a puppy. Determined that by the time he turned three, he would have the fine motor control to use a spoon reliably.
“I bump it on a wall,” he gestured vaguely with a big sweeping motion. “Dere.”
“We know it’s going to take a while for you to believe what we’re saying is true. That you can’t take our word for it. But we’ll show you. It’ll be okay,” Katy reassured.
Jesse said nothing, just tentatively reached for the brown sugar like Kaleb had.
Katy watched as he dumped a sickening amount into his oatmeal and started to eat it.
--
Tyler was at church on Sunday morning, like she was each and every week. In the past few years, she had moved a lot. School in Michigan. Then to Texas. Now, she was living in California, and as luck would have it, was good and close to Adam, Kris and Allison. She even went to church with Kris and his family, but this was the first time she hadn’t seen them at the morning service.
She hoped nothing was wrong, especially with little Kaleb, who wasn’t so little anymore. Oh, he was still small for his age, but nothing like the little doll baby she’d seen in the first Christmas card she’d received from their family a year and a half earlier. At six months old, he looked like a newborn. There were presents in the background that were bigger than he was.
Church was the highlight of her Sundays. Time to rest and recharge before her crazy work week started again. She was currently putting her schooling to good use as a speech therapists for kids at the local elementary school, hospital, wherever she was needed, really.
By the time the service was over and Tyler was half done with her hazelnut cappuccino, she had decided to pay Kris a little unexpected visit.
--
When there was a knock at the door, Jesse gulped and stood very still. He looked over his shoulder, trying to decide if he had enough time to hide, or if he should run. He had gotten through breakfast without tossing his cookies, but it was still early in the day, and unexpected visitors still made him nervous. It could be anybody. His social worker. Or his real mom saying she was sorry and she wanted him back. Even when she was full of crap, which was most of the time, he was scared of her.
Kris had decided it would be better for everyone to stay home and spend time getting used to each other, instead of overwhelming Jesse with unfamiliar people. Katy had agreed, and so far their day had been very productive. Kris had cleaned up breakfast and Katy had managed to get both boys in the tub for a morning bath. True, she’d had to bribe Jesse in with some of Kaleb’s toys, but it had worked. Once Kaleb had been bathed and dressed and was presumably “helping Daddy” in the kitchen, Katy had set to work convincing Jesse to get in the tub, if only to check out Noah’s Ark and all its animals.
She let him play a while, and then coaxed him through washing up, impressed with how well he followed directions one-on-one. Now, she was supervising the boys playing in the living room. Jesse seemed insistent on finding the remote control and watching TV, despite the fact that she knew he could watch a whole day’s worth and not even blink. Which was exactly why Katy had hidden it. Kris kept trying to engage him in building with Legos, but Jesse didn’t seem interested.
When there was a knock at the door, Kris got up to answer it. “Were you expecting anybody?” he asked Katy.
Shaking her head, she approached Jesse. He had gone white and looked seconds away from bolting, and laid a calming hand on his shoulder.
“Oh, it’s Tyler,” Kris said, sounding at-ease, and opened the door wide. Maybe she could help them work Jesse out of his shell.
“She’s a friend from church,” Katy explained softly, trying to calm Jesse. He’d gone stiff at her touch.
“Ty!” Kaleb shrieked happily. “Come and see my dragon!”
“Is that Kaleb?” Tyler asked, unnecessarily, peeking around the door in time to see him crawling like crazy to get to her.
“Yes,” he answered, panting. He stopped at her feet and wrapped his little arms around her legs, squeezing tight.
“Well, aren’t you a little love?” she asked, scooping up Kaleb and noticing an older boy for the first time. He had a darker complexion than the Allens but lighter than hers, and stunning blue eyes.
“Hi there, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Tyler,” she introduced, extending a hand.
“This is Jesse,” Katy returned. “He got here late Friday night, and he’s a little shy.”
“Well, that’s okay. I was kind of shy, too, when I first moved here,” Tyler said, speaking to Jesse.
“Come! See! My! Dra! Gon!” Kaleb whined.
“Kaleb,” Kris told him sternly. “We don’t yell. Tyler’s gonna come see Mama and Daddy in the kitchen for a minute, okay? You be a good boy.”
So Katy made herself comfortable in the doorway between the two rooms, to keep an eye on the boys, while Kris offered Tyler iced tea and explained their new situation. That they were approved to care for foster children and Jesse was the first one they’d gotten a call about.
“So far he’s been really quiet. Doesn’t say a word to us, but we know he can talk. So it’s kinda frustrating.”
Tyler’s eyes lit up at the challenge, and at the idea of getting to know Kris and Katy’s new little boy. “Would you mind if I hung out with him? We could just play or whatever.”
“Yeah, that’s fine if you want,” Kris nodded. “Thanks for coming by, Tyler.”
“It’s always nice to see you,” Katy added.
With permission, Tyler made quick work of admiring Kaleb’s Lego dragon and letting him know that the small awkward chunk of blocks was the best dragon she had seen today, Kris stepped in and asked if Kaleb wanted to help make dessert.
“Pie?” he asked, eyes wide.
“Nope. Not pie. A cake. With Jell-O inside. And you can poke the holes,” Kris told him, carrying him out to the kitchen.
“Do you like Legos?” Tyler asked, once they were relatively alone. She was well-aware that Katy always had both of them in her line of sight and Tyler admired her fierce commitment to Jesse, despite having known him less than 48 hours.
Jesse didn’t like this girl. He figured that out right away. Even though she sort of looked like him more than Kris and Katy and Kaleb, that didn’t matter because she reminded him of his real mom sort of. And he didn’t want to answer any of her dumb questions about Legos. He got up and started looking for the remote control again.
“What are you looking for? I can…” Tyler’s offer to help died on her lips as she saw Katy shaking her head no. “Hey, do you like to draw?” she asked, smoothly changing the subject and taking a small notepad and a pen from her purse.
Jesse did like to draw, and he loved that kind of cool pen she had with the gel stuff in it, but he did his best not to care. Adults were always trying to trick kids.
Tyler set to work, doodling an elaborate design with various colored gel pens. She could see Jesse watching out of the corner of his eye.
Tyler casually moved some of the pens toward him, and pushed the notepad over, as well. She noticed how he grabbed the silver pen like a kindergartener, who hadn’t yet learned to write, and then let it hover over the paper.
“So, how old are you?” Tyler tried.
Jesse dropped the pen, but kept it close to his body, as he lie on the floor. He flashed eight fingers at her proudly.
“Wow. I loved being eight. And you get to be a big brother, huh? What do you think of that? You can help Kaleb, and teach him all kinds of things.”
Awkwardly, Jesse dragged the pen across the paper in a loose approximation of a circle.
“What do you think about that?” she asked, and watched, intrigued, as Jesse added eyes, a nose and a smiley face.
“Yeah, Kaleb’s a good kid. I think you’re gonna like it here. I’ve known Kris and Katy for a few years now and they’re nice people.”
Bored now, Jesse tossed the gel pen on the carpet, uncapped. He liked all the different colors of pens especially silver and purple and pink, because they were the sparkle kind. But it wasn’t any fun, especially knowing that there was cake being made in the kitchen.
“I don’t want to draw anymore,” he said, standing up and making his way to the kitchen. It was boring not talking, especially when Kris and Kaleb were making that cool pokey thing for dessert. Jesse was sure he would do the best at poking holes in it, because he poked holes in stuff all the time and got in trouble for it. This time, though, he might not. Because it was okay. It was for the recipe.
“Hey guys?” he asked quietly, hanging in the doorway. “Can I help?”