Any advice?

[_shut_down]

Most of my stress these days comes from the fact that my family isn't completely understanding about my disease. My younger sister and brother don't consider me sick, because they can't see it. I have 2 older sisters with Lupus (one of which is actually on her deathbed), & my mom has Rheumatoid Arthritis. You can see their pain, swollen joints, and

Comments

[tcregan]

Look up articles about each disease and have them read one on each. "This is what mom has. This is what sister has. This is what I have."

Try www.butyoudontlooksick.com

*hugs* I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You would think that with two sisters with lupus and a mother with RA, they'd be more understanding. It's hard on family members who are healthy, too, though. I really hope you can find something that makes them understand.

[wylderwynd]

I am stunned that with your family's experience with chronic illness that you would have to plead for understanding. Your sister's remark seems insensitive at best, how you would make her understand is beyond me. As frustrating as it is you may have to accept the fact that she 'doesn't get it' and maybe she never will. The good news is that there are people that do understand - like those of us in this community!

I know that there have been others in your situation and I'm sure they have excellent advice on how to handle the rejection we feel when (especially)our family's are less than supportive. In the meantime, try not to be too concerned about anything that you cannot control. Take care of yourself! *hug*, *hug*!

[gkingsley]

Heh - if you find something that works, please let me know - I'd love to find a way to clue my mom in. Unfortunately, no matter what information she receives, whether it's from me or my sister (whose word is inexplicably better than mine) falls on deaf ears. At this point, we choose not to mention my pretend illness - it's the only way we can continue to speak to one another.

[tcregan]

Wow! Sounds like my mom. My only comfort comes from the fact that I don't live with the bitch anymore, so I don't have to talk to her.

Families just suck sometimes. =( *hugs*

[gkingsley]

To paraphrase the immortal words of John Bender in The Breakfast Club, it sounds like your mom and my mom should get together and go bowling

[lostrack621]

One thing I have found is that no matter how close people are (emotionally, related-ly, physically, whatever), belittling another person generally makes the other people feel better. It may be that because your illness is invisible, it is easier for them to feel better about themselves because there are no physical "markings" that separates you from any "normal" person on the street.

I don't have any advice for you on how to deal with this, other than perhaps using the internet to find sources about the various illness and how closely related they are to FM ... and how your pain and suffering isn't really any different than theirs, even though there are usually no outward manifestations of FM.

Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to listen and be open-minded (even doctors sometimes)... so brace yourself for that, too. Just realize that your pain IS real and that there are so many of us in the FMily who are going through what you are, too.

::HUGS!!::