Any advice?
Most of my stress these days comes from the fact that my family isn't completely understanding about my disease. My younger sister and brother don't consider me sick, because they can't see it. I have 2 older sisters with Lupus (one of which is actually on her deathbed), & my mom has Rheumatoid Arthritis. You can see their pain, swollen joints, and
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What is it about mothers in particular that makes them doubt the sworn words of the children they raised? My shrink tried to tell me that it's because, deep down, my mother doesn't want me to be sick, and it's easier to convince herself that I'm being a drama queen or a hypochondriac than to face the truth - that I'm seriously ill and unlikely to ever get better.
It's a lovely thought, but I don't think I buy into it. I think my head would have to fall off before my mom admitted that she was wrong, because the sad truth is, my mother is *never* wrong.
The worst part is, I truly love my mother. She is a ferociously intelligent woman, strong willed and pragmatic. If I didn't have her strength to emulate, I never would have been tough enough to get through the past 5 years. Somewhere deep down, I'm still a child who craves her understanding and approval, but I've finally come to the realization that I'll most likely never get it.
And that's terribly sad.
I'm blessed with a wonderful husband, a huge family and a fantastic group of friends who all believe me and believe in me, and that has to be enough. Hell, it's more than a lot of people have, so I shouldn't even bitch!
Some people can't get behind the whole "counting my blessings" thing, but sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me from despair.
Anyway, you know what Grandma used to say - fuck 'em.
*hugs!*
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