"Non Violent" Rape?!?!

[blue_lorelei]

So a friend's friend on LJ made a post about how you can look up sexual offenders in your zip code and he remarked that there were a LOT in his zip code area. He lives right next to a very large college campus, and one of his LJ friends left this comment

Comments

[snowowl]

I do think it's a terrible thing to downplay date rape (I was date raped myself), but I'm wondering if she was more referring to laws stating that any sex involving the intoxication of the female is "rape" even if it consenting or both partners are equally intoxicated or what have you.

[blue_lorelei]

I considered that a possibility, but I think the report rate for that kind of rape is rather low, isnt it?

[snowowl]

I couldn't find any data specifying how many rape victims were under the influence of alcohol (versus a date rape drug and the like). I'll let you know if I find anything!

[blue_lorelei]

Cool.

But remember, please -- not all drunk girls consent. When I'm drunk, I am lucid and remember everything, but I lack motor control. Honestly, if I got drunk someone could easily overpower me and rape me, but I would know what was going on. That would make me irresponsible, but if I'd honestly thought I was among friends...

Just saying, alcohol doesnt make everyone into "sex-o-matics."

[blahthequah]

while I agree with you, it seems to me he was trying to differiate between date rapes that happen on college campuses (alcohol, rufies, dorm rooms) which are indeed frighteningly common and any other sort of rape, perhaps one that may occur off-campus and not specifically involve a date-type setting

[blue_lorelei]

She.
And I offered her a "Stranger Rape" suggestion, and instead of saying "Yes, Stranger Rape, as opposed to Date-Rape" she said "I meant physcially violent rape."
It boggled my mind.

[blahthequah]

aside from the fact that rape is rarely stranger rape, i think (and I hope) we are all on the same page.

and yet, people have some very strange ideas about rape.

moral of the story: women and men on and near college campuses should be especially vigilant

[blue_lorelei]

You're right, stranger rape is rare in comparison to aquaintance rape. I think that's one of the worst things is that it's someone you know, and you dont even realize that you cant trust them. They offer to walk you back to your dorm room because you're tipsy after a party and then they rape you, and what can you say?
You were drunk, so people just play it off as "She got drunk and they had sex, and now she regrets it" instead of the situation that it really was.

I long for the day that we, men and women, can stop being afriad of that sort of thing.

My town has a high gay population, and there are a LOT of rapes going on because of that, too. It's disturbing. I've read in the paper about gay men being overpowered and raped by angry straight men, and about lesbians being raped by guys who wanted to date them, or even by their own enraged family members.
It's horrible.

[odd_duck_out]

NOTE TO WORLD: Rape is violent. Rape is physical. Rape is physically violent. QED. kthxdie.

[blue_lorelei]

Sing It!

[iheardhermoan]

lol

[kleiosgirl]

What I think is so interesting is that many straight men (my husband) are oblivious when it comes to the threat rape. He thinks that most men are like him and respect women's bodies. The scary reality is that our society sees rape as an acceptable show of power in many cicumstances.

[blue_lorelei]

A FEMALE friend of mine is an anthro major, and she was telling me how it's "natural" for men to rape women "to spread their seed."
I told her that was bullshit and that I never wanted to hear her say that again.
Then she defended my boyfriend who raped me, saying he was a really nice guy and didnt really rape me, it was just my perception of the situation.

Oh, OK, forcing sex on me while I cried was just my perception of things...

[sylviaplath2005]

I feel so bad about that!~ Girl, people out there are dumb as heck, anthro major or not. Rape is non-consentual, and it was "natural" only in societies that were or are inherently barbaric and violent. Ask that stupid girl if she has seen any Roman conquests or Viking raids lately in 2005? She was basically saying that your "perception" is unimportant, that your rights and needs and boundaries are meaningless. Screw her.

[blue_lorelei]

It just makes me want to scream that "formal education" can make people dumb.
Her professor/text book told her that, so it must be true!
UGH!!!

I'm having other issues with her, too, because while I love her dearly, she's also anti speutering (and I'm an animal rescuer), and she likes to say "I'm not a feminist, even though I'm for equal rights."

[sylviaplath2005]

OR maybe she is just DUMB.

[blue_lorelei]

That thought crossed my mind.
Several times.
And again just now.
Yes, yes, I think you are onto something.

[sylviaplath2005]

lol. She is confusing a biological drive and the historic prevalence of rape with its nonexistent place in the modern world. By the way, I am an anthro major. I am pretty sure her textbook didnt tell her women not liking rape is "only a perception of the situation".

[blue_lorelei]

Yeah, I try pointing out to people that we're complexly intelligent beings capable of making our own decisions about our life and behavior, and it's amazing how many people reply with "I cant help it! It's human nature to do X"

As an antro major, is there anything you would say IS "human nature"?