no mas.
I've been feeling out of sorts the last few days. not sure if it's due to the fact my car got towed from under my nose (costing me about $300 to retrieve... along with mass amounts of stress due to my monetary situation), being under the weather and exhausted or the fact that i'm acting like i'm totally cool with this whole "being alone and independent" thing... when I'm really not.
Probably a mixture of the three.
It's only been 5 months, but I'm struggling with the whole "single" thing. Not that guys are throwing themselves at me and I'm having to fend them off - it's more like, I just don't know how it's done. Sure, it's been good being on my own schedule, making decisions only for myself and not having to worry about accommodating or compromising, but it's Sunday nights like these where I miss having a discussion over what we're going to make for dinner, what show or movie we're going to watch and who's place we're going to do it at -- accommodating and compromising for good reasons. every guy i've met thus far has been a dead end. and honestly, i'm not trying to meet anyone, it's not what i want, it just happens sometimes, and when it does it turns out they're either insanely eager to get me into a serious relationship, or they're insanely eager to just have, for lack of a better term, a fuck buddy (something i'm not into). whaaat about movie and cuddle buddies? do they exist - or is that just something you do with your "gay"... cause I don't have one of those, but if that's what it takes... i'm so in.
my recent car trouble was a bit of a wake up call for me. i keep landing myself in these rough spots, and i think it's because i'm not focused. i need to stop fraternizing with dramatic guys (the goal is to be SINGLE for a while, thomas... get it together) and socializing, and focus on getting my feet settled here. sure, I have a job, i pay my rent and my bills, and deep down i am very happy - the happiest I've ever been - but I somehow keep making STUPID decisions (like parking in a tow away zone, or not putting enough money away for my taxes) and it's causing me to live pay check to pay check and just baaaarely scrape by until I get my next one. it's starting to wear on me, and i need to put it to an end. out with the binge drinking and hot mess thomas, and in with the responsible, put together thomas -- who every now and then will drink and peak when everyone else is asleep... ;)
so, no more worrying about being "alone", no more drinking heavily on weeknights, and no more parking in clearly marked tow away zones!
Probably a mixture of the three.
It's only been 5 months, but I'm struggling with the whole "single" thing. Not that guys are throwing themselves at me and I'm having to fend them off - it's more like, I just don't know how it's done. Sure, it's been good being on my own schedule, making decisions only for myself and not having to worry about accommodating or compromising, but it's Sunday nights like these where I miss having a discussion over what we're going to make for dinner, what show or movie we're going to watch and who's place we're going to do it at -- accommodating and compromising for good reasons. every guy i've met thus far has been a dead end. and honestly, i'm not trying to meet anyone, it's not what i want, it just happens sometimes, and when it does it turns out they're either insanely eager to get me into a serious relationship, or they're insanely eager to just have, for lack of a better term, a fuck buddy (something i'm not into). whaaat about movie and cuddle buddies? do they exist - or is that just something you do with your "gay"... cause I don't have one of those, but if that's what it takes... i'm so in.
my recent car trouble was a bit of a wake up call for me. i keep landing myself in these rough spots, and i think it's because i'm not focused. i need to stop fraternizing with dramatic guys (the goal is to be SINGLE for a while, thomas... get it together) and socializing, and focus on getting my feet settled here. sure, I have a job, i pay my rent and my bills, and deep down i am very happy - the happiest I've ever been - but I somehow keep making STUPID decisions (like parking in a tow away zone, or not putting enough money away for my taxes) and it's causing me to live pay check to pay check and just baaaarely scrape by until I get my next one. it's starting to wear on me, and i need to put it to an end. out with the binge drinking and hot mess thomas, and in with the responsible, put together thomas -- who every now and then will drink and peak when everyone else is asleep... ;)
so, no more worrying about being "alone", no more drinking heavily on weeknights, and no more parking in clearly marked tow away zones!